24
DATE: DECEMBER 16TH, 2019, 4.PM.
PLACE: ESTELLA’S PLACE
ESTELLA
The letter was sitting on the table when I came downstairs. Mama and Romilly were sitting together, arms crossed and their eyes wide as they met mine across the room.
"What's going on?" I furrowed my brows as I took a step forward, glancing at the single envelope on the dining table. "Oh... Is that what I think it is?"
Mama nodded and Romilly spoke up saying, "It just came minutes ago... I heard you were already awake, so we've been waiting for you to open it."
"Right," I muttered, already nervous. "But what if..."
"Whatever it is," mama interrupted. "We're going to support you through it no matter what. And you know this isn't the end of the world if it's a no, right?"
"Of course not," I laughed. But we all heard the tension in my voice, and we all knew if I didn't get into Eastvale, papa would throw another fit.
Things had been good for the past two months. I'd managed to convince him to let me go out occasionally with Inca, though I didn't do anything as dangerous or reckless as when I went out before. I still had my job at Clancy's where I now worked four times a week, and surprisingly, I'd started to love it. I was even fond of my boss, Jeff. Inca and I spent most of our time at Clancy's these days. And while I sometimes saw Nate, who gave me a polite but tight-lipped smile, I never saw Milo Earnshaw there since our break-up.
Things had been frosty from my side since he'd told me it was over. I'd ran off that night those Silversides trashed Milo's car, calling Inca in tears and begging her to come and get me. I hadn't spoken to Milo since. I saw him the next day at school, but when he came up to check whether I'd gotten home okay, I ignored him and walked away, bumping into his shoulder hard. Since then, he hadn't even attempted a conversation with me. And maybe it was better that way. Still, I couldn't resist the feelings that were still bubbling in the pit of my stomach every time I thought about Milo. The lust, love and deep longing I felt were all still there, but I wasn't about to let myself get hurt again. No, Milo had made it plenty clear he wanted nothing to do with me, and I was determined to grant him his wish.
"Aren't you going to open it?" Romi spoke up again, and I nodded, snapping out of my reverie. I took a step forward, my fingers wrapping around the thick envelope. I tore into it carefully, taking my time retrieving the paper inside and raising it to read what it said.
"Oh God," I groaned.
"What?" mama jumped up, nervously biting her bottom lip. "Is it a yes or a no?"
"Don't torture us," Romilly joined in. "We deserve to know! Mama's going to faint if you don't tell us."
"I got in," I whispered.
"What?" mama shrieked.
"I got in," I said again, passing her the paper and allowing myself to smile for what felt like the first time in months. "Oh my God, I can't even believe it. I'm in!"
The dining room erupted in elated screams and cheering, and the three of us hugged and danced around the room as they both looked at my acceptance letter. The worst part was that I knew I'd see Milo at Eastvale the next year as well.
Maybe then we can make things work.
No! I scolded myself quietly, hating that I was secretly still hoping things would work out between us. I didn't want Milo to influence me as much as he did, but I wasn't kidding anyone by pretending I was completely over him. I hadn't gone on a date with anyone since we'd broken up - papa wouldn't allow it, anyway. But I wasn't sure I could stomach a date with anyone other than the boy I'd fallen in love with years ago.
I took a sharp breath as that thought came to me, just as a figure appeared in the doorway, making us all stop in our tracks.
"What's going on here?" papa asked in his deep, booming voice. He walked into the room and the three of us stood still. Things still hadn't gotten better at home, though papa hadn't raised a hand to me again. For now, even the self-punishments he'd made me do had ended. But I was still grounded. Not that I was complaining. It was the easiest punishment I could get, and it felt like a blessing in disguise.
"Estella, why don't you tell him?" Romi nudged me, motioning to papa.
I swallowed, looking away from his imploring gaze as I muttered, "I got my Eastvale application letter."
I half-expected him to hug me, congratulate me. But he didn't say a word, until finally clearing his throat and muttering, "Later than I would have liked."
"I'm sorry, papa," I whispered.
"No matter," he waved his hand dismissively. "At least you are finally back on track, if nothing else. Romilly, you are staying over the weekend, no?"
"Yes," Romi said, glaring at him. I could tell she was upset he hadn't acknowledged my acceptance letter properly, but she was too scared to get in the middle of our argument.
"Good," papa went on. "Your mother and I have a trip to make to Atlanta."
"Atlanta?" mama asked. "Is that this weekend? I was hoping we could postpone it. Maybe take Estella out for a nice dinner, celebrate this-"
"No," papa cut her off impatiently. "We are leaving in an hour, so you better have Mabel pack your things."
Mama nodded sheepishly, giving me an apologetic look before disappearing down the hallway to the salon.
"And Romilly," papa said once we were alone, giving me a sly glance. "I am counting on you to make sure everything runs smoothly here while we're gone. I don't want any problems, and I'm expecting the place to be pristine when we come back."
"Of course," Romi smiled. "I won't let you down, papa."
He gave her a curt nod, letting his eyes wander over my sullen face before walking out of the room. I glanced at my sister who rolled her eyes, making me snicker softly.
"Just you wait," she whispered in my ear. "Mama wanted to take you out for dinner to celebrate Eastvale - I'm going to do something so much better."
"This place looks insane!" I twirled in the salon, barely recognizing the transformed room. "How did you manage to do all this?"
"I had some help," Romi grinned motioning to a tall, bossy looking friend barking something into a headset. "Tinsley’s mom. She brought it all together - she does party planning on the side, and she owed me one." She leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Although I have a feeling she might have a heart attack on the job if she keeps going like that."
"No! Peonies!" The blonde yelled into the headset, sighing dramatically. "It's like I'm having a conversation with a pack of baboons! How can you be this incompetent?"
Romi gave me a pointed look and I giggled.
“Thank you for including her,” I whispered to Romi. “I think she’s been feeling a bit lonely since Tinsley left for Eastvale.”
“You’re welcome. And FIY, she still loves you.”
"Good. How do I look?" I twirled in front of her.
"Milo Earnshaw, eat your heart out," Romi winked.
"Don't," I warned her. "He is so obviously not invited tonight."
"Oh, I invited him," she threw over her shoulder nonchalantly. "And his brother. Time to bury the hatchet."
"What?" I glared at her, crossing my arms. "I don't want them here."
The doorbell rang and Romi gave me an innocent smile. "I'll get that, why don't you put on some lipstick? We'll be waiting for you downstairs, superstar!"
She blew me a red-lipsticked kiss and I groaned as I ran up the stairs in my too-tall-for-comfort heels, ones I’d paid for myself. I shut the door of my bedroom firmly behind me, closing my eyes and counting to five. Finally, I pulled away from the door and quickly sprayed on some perfume, applying a layer of glittery pink gloss to my lips. I was wearing a black cut-out dress papa would have burned on the spot, along with my hot pink stilettos and my hair straightened into a tight ponytail. I looked good - better than I had in months, since I had access to Romi's makeup bag. I still wasn't allowed mine back.
I took a deep breath before waltzing down the staircase into the hall. Inca greeted me with a bright grin, and I almost lost it
at the sight of her younger brother, Orion, stuffing his face with prawn cocktails and looked bored out of his mind five minutes into the party.
"Sorry," Inca grimaced. "I couldn't leave him at home alone. Last time he lit a fire in the microwave."
"Do not leave it on for thirty-two minutes and seven seconds straight," Orion nodded, his mouth full to the brim. "A lesson I learned the hard way."
"It's okay," I mouthed to Inca. "Who else is here?"
"Everyone," she whispered, motioning to the rest of the room and pointing out people from the Academy. Even fucking Harlem was there, and as much as I wanted to yank her long-ass red hair out of that artfully messy braid she was sporting, all I did was smile sweetly when she saw me. She raised her hand in silent greeting, and I gave her a tight-lipped smile.
"What about..."
"No," Inca shook her head. "But Nate's right over there."
I followed her gaze to the corner where my ex was talking to Finn Bannon. Nate was wearing his lacrosse jacket - God, like he seriously didn't own anything else - and Finn was in his usual biker attire.
"Great," I muttered. "Come on, let's get something to drink."
"Cool," Inca nodded. "Orion, go play the PS4 in the living room or something."
"You have a Playstation?" His eyes lit up and he was gone in seconds, shrimp cocktail in hand.
"God, that kid," Inca sighed.
"He's cute." I grinned before pulling her into the kitchen and locating a bowl of punch. I tasted some carefully, making sure no-one had spiked it before pouring two Solo coups, one for me, one for Inca. I handed her the drink and we whispered to each other behind the glasses.
It was my party, but it didn't feel like I really belonged there. The house looked amazing, with fairy lights all over the backyard and a freaking chocolate fountain in the hall, but there was something missing. Or rather, someone.
Inca seemed to sense my disappointment at Milo's absence, but she didn't say anything. She tried to distract me with punch pong, snacks, and ogling guys from our school, but my heart wasn't in it.
"You really miss him, don't you?" Inca finally whispered in my ear, and I shrugged. "Come on, it's obvious. Why don't you at least try to talk to him? Maybe things have changed... maybe-"
"Maybe he wants me again?" I laughed bitterly. "I guarantee you, he does not. And it's too late for that, anyway. The Milo and Stells ship has sailed."
"If you say so," Inca muttered doubtfully.
Of course, the moment those words were out of my mouth, I spotted him.
He was wearing his thick-rimmed glasses and a brown leather jacket. And his arm was slung around a girl's waist. Harlem's waist. She was throwing her head back in laughter at something he was saying.
"Oh my god," Inca whispered when she followed my line of vision. "I can't believe it. Are you..."
"I'm fine," I said, a bit too cheerfully. "But I don't want to look at this."
"Okay," Inca managed. "But, um... I think someone's coming over to-"
"Stells? Can I grab you for a sec?"
I looked up into Natan Earnshaw's eyes.
"Uh, sure?" I nodded at Inca and followed Natan outside into the backyard. "What's up, loser?"
"Just something I wanted to discuss," Nate grinned. "The small case of you and my brother being hopelessly in love with each other."
"Pffft," I rolled my eyes. "That's so two months ago, Earnshaw."
"I don't think so," he shook his head, his eyes twinkling. "I saw you looking at him. And unfortunately, I still live with that lovestruck jerk you're obsessing over."
"And?" I raised my brows.
"And, you two need to talk," he insisted. "Meet him at the tree where your treehouse used to be."
"Um, does he know about this?" I asked. "Does he even want to talk to me?"
"He will once I'm done with him," Nate grinned wickedly.
"Wait." I tugged on his sleeve as he was about to leave. "Why are you doing this? What's in it for you?"
"I just don't want to look at him mope anymore," Nate shrugged.
"He's here with Harlem," I reminded him.
"Yeah, because I threatened to change the internet password if he didn't go out with her." Nate gave me a meaningful look. "I had to force him to come. And he's not enjoying it, see?"
I followed his gaze inside where Milo was smiling uncomfortably at Harlem's words. His eyes kept scanning the crowd.
"He's looking for you," Natan fake-whispered, and I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. Under the treehouse tree," I finally agreed. "In ten?"
"Grrrrreat."
"Hey, Nate."
"Yeah?"
I gave him an awkward hug. "Thanks for this. For everything."
"Don't mention it, kid."
"You're younger than me," I shouted after him as he walked away, but he waved his hand dismissively, making me roll my eyes.
I spent the next ten minutes in the bathroom, reapplying lip gloss and fluffing up my hair until I was pleased with my appearance. I definitely looked better than the last time Milo had talked to me, when I'd been a tear-streaked mess with running makeup.
I decided to show up under the tree a couple of minutes late, but when I rounded the corner of the house, there was nobody under the acacia tree. My face fell, but I walked over nevertheless.
While the treehouse was long gone, there were two swings hanging from the branches now. I took one of them, wrapping my fingers around the chain and rocking myself slowly, only enough to lift my feet off the ground.
A moment later, I felt somebody's pushes joining in from behind, and I stiffened as Milo rounded the corner of the swing. Without saying a word, he took the other swing.
I stared straight ahead, watching Milo from my peripheral vision. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, putting one in his mouth and lighting it. That was a new habit, and I didn't like it one bit.
He still hadn't said anything as he took the cigarette out, offering it to me. I hesitated before accepting it, and when I took it from his hands, my fingers trembled so badly I nearly dropped the damn thing.
Putting it to my lips, I took a puff and nearly choked on it. I'd barely smoked before, so I didn't really have a clue what I was doing. Booze had always been more my thing than anything you had to inhale.
"So," Milo finally muttered.
"So," I repeated, nodding to myself and passing him the cigarette again.
"You wanted to talk," he went on, and I furrowed my brows.
"Well, Nate said you wanted to talk," I shrugged.
"Me?" He gave me a bewildered look. "What about?"
"What about?" I grit my teeth together in anger. "Um, apparently you've been moping around because of me."
"Yeah, right," Milo laughed, finishing the cig and putting it out on the grass.
"So, why are you even here?" I muttered, feeling defeated. He obviously didn't want anything to do with me.
"Your sister invited me."
"Why show up?"
"Because I couldn't resist." He ran a hand through his dark hair.
"Couldn't resist what?" I insisted.
"Another taste," he muttered. He grabbed the chain of my swing and pulled me closer, and I gasped when I smelled him. Nicotine mixed with the peppermint of his toothpaste and his citrusy aftershave.
"What d-do you mean?" I managed. "You want to get back together?"
"No." He shook his head as his eyes finally met mine. "You know we can't."
"Why not?" I was past the point of caring about sounding desperate. I just wanted Milo, my Milo.
"Because I said so," he insisted, reminding me of how dominant he'd been with me when he fucked me... God, he'd fucked me. And not once. I groaned inwardly.
"What the hell do you want then?" I demanded.
He turned the swings around, so our knees were touching. The creak of the chain put me right in the moment, his eyes giving the situation a dream-like quality.
"Like I said." His voice was soft, gentle. "I w
ant to taste you again, princess. Just once."
"Ki-kiss me?" I stuttered, and he shook his head. "Oh... Okay..."
"Don't tell anyone," he muttered before leaning in and letting his lips press against mine.
I let out a breath, shocked by his sudden move, inhaling his scent deep and committing it to memory. He held onto the chains of my swing, deepening our kiss and claiming me yet again. How the hell was I supposed to fall for someone else when Milo Earnshaw was all I'd ever wanted?
Before I could say as much, he'd pulled away and gotten up. He wouldn't look at me.
"Milo, please," I croaked, and he turned around, his back to me. "Don't you want to talk?"
"No," he insisted. "Fuck. We can't."
"Why not?" I begged, not caring how desperate I sounded. "It didn't just feel that good for me, did it? You liked it too, Milo, didn't you?"
"Stop," he gritted out, glaring at me over his shoulder. "Just fucking stop deluding yourself."
"Deluding?" I repeated, my heart shattering.
"You and me, we'll never be together," he shook his head.
"But maybe at Eastvale-"
"No, Stells," he went on bitterly. "I said never, and I mean it."
It took a moment for his sudden meanness to sink in. But when it did, I got off the swing, angrily kicking at the grass in my stilettos.
"Fuck you!" I snarled at him. "Fuck you for giving me hope and taking it away the next second."
"I shouldn't have kissed you," he realized.
"No, you shouldn't have," I muttered through a river of hot tears now streaming down my cheeks. "I never want to speak to you again, Milo Earnshaw."
"Is that really what you want?" His eyes were furious as he turned to face me, coming closer until he was inches away. "You don't want anything to do with me?"
"No," I hissed. "I hope to God I never see you again."
"Well, princess," he muttered, reaching up. I froze as he tugged on my ponytail. "I hope you get your wish."
With those words, he walked away, leaving me to stew in my own desperation.
25
DATE: DECEMBER 17TH, 2019, 9 A.M.
PLACE: MILO’S PLACE
Boys That Read: A High School Romance (Lords of Wildwood Book 2) Page 21
