by David Bell
I kind of expected it.
“Can I see her?” I asked.
“No. You’re not going to see her for a while,” she said. “Maybe you should feel relieved too?”
I thought about my answer. Then I said, “Yeah, in some ways. But also . . . It’s complicated.”
“Most things are,” she said. “You know, we all took a huge risk letting this play out this way. Letting you come to the airport to meet her, letting you have one last conversation with her. We figured this was the best chance of finding Morgan and getting the truth out of her. But if she hadn’t shown up today . . .” She lifted her hands and then let them fall back into her lap. “I don’t know where we’d be. I’m not sure where you would be either.”
“I understand. I thought there was a little more than a fifty-fifty chance she’d show up.”
“I think she showed up for you, as much as anything else. She wanted to see you again. I really believe she wanted to go away with you. And I know you wanted to hear a different version of events. But at least we all know the truth now.”
I felt so much at once. A stabbing regret in my chest, the ache of knowing the truth. And along with it a surge of emotion. She did want to see me. I fixed on the image of her in the middle of the concourse as the cops closed in.
Defiant to the end, refusing to apologize for killing a man who cheated her out of money.
I didn’t like it, but I knew the truth.
And I remembered the kiss. I’d never forget that.
“I need to get back in there,” Detective Givens said. “I think the officers have all the information we need from you for now. But we’ll be in touch when we need to be. And can I offer you some advice?”
“Sure.”
“Just get back to your regular life. And don’t look back.”
And the swirl of emotions grew more chaotic then. A vibration traveled through my body, one that moved from my fingertips to the center of my chest. The pain I’d recently felt there faded, replaced by a buzzing, humming quiver.
I was sitting in an airport with no job. But I had plenty of money and plenty of frequent flier miles.
I had nowhere to be and nothing to do. I’d quit my job, broken up with Renee once and for all.
I could go anywhere. Do anything.
I was free.
And the thought scared the hell out of me.
“Good-bye, Mr. Fields,” Givens said.
85
I walked out into the concourse, unsure of where to go.
For so long, I’d thought being free of my job and any obligation would liberate me. But I quickly learned how scary liberation felt.
I stopped in front of a departure board. The cities rolled by—big ones, medium ones. East Coast, West Coast. So many options . . .
I don’t know how long I had been lost in my thoughts, contemplating all of my options, when I heard my name being called by the PA announcer.
I was being told to head to the nearest white courtesy telephone.
The police. It had to be the police.
But I also flashed back to the time in Nashville, the time when I picked up the white phone and heard Morgan on the other end of the line.
Could she be calling me?
I went to the phone and picked it up.
“How are you, champ?”
My dad’s distinctive, gravelly voice coming through the line surprised me like nothing else. He might as well have been calling me from the moon.
“Dad? What’s going on?” I asked. “Why didn’t you call my phone?”
“I tried. You’re not answering.”
Then I remembered. Ever polite, I’d turned it off when the cops were questioning me. “Sorry about that.”
“Where are you?” he asked.
How did I explain it? How did I explain any of it?
“I’m in Atlanta,” I said.
“I know that,” he said. “I’m here too. I mean, where are you in the airport?”
“You’re here?” I asked. “What are you doing here?”
“You booked your flight using the company account,” he said. “I got a notice saying you were traveling to Atlanta. And I asked myself, ‘Why would my son who just quit his job be heading off to Atlanta? Could it have anything to do with this girl he’s been chasing? With the cops hounding him? Might he need moral support if it doesn’t work out?’”
I didn’t know what to say. I felt some of the weight lift from my shoulders. Someone else understood. . . .
“Thanks, Dad,” I said.
And then I told him which terminal I was in.
I waited for him, and he showed up with his beat-up carry-on over his shoulder. He came right over to me and gave me a hug, a rarity, and I welcomed being folded up in his arms. He smelled the same as when I was a kid—of cologne and shaving cream. A hint of the cigars he occasionally smoked.
We sat down next to each other.
He dug around in his pants pocket and brought something out. “I stopped in the gift shop and bought some Life Savers. You always loved these when you were little.”
I took the roll from him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I thought after I’d quit you’d be so busy, so overwhelmed. . . .”
“Nah.” He waved my words away like a pesky fly. He considered me for a moment, and he clearly had something to say. “So, I’m guessing things didn’t work out so well here, did they? With the girl?”
My thoughts were scattered, like leaves caught up in a high wind. I tried to sort them out and get them straight. “No, not exactly.”
I gave him a quick rundown of the events, all the way up to and including Detective Givens’s threats and advice to get on with my life.
“You thought this Morgan would be innocent?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t accept that I’d have these kinds of feelings for someone who had done something so awful. I thought it would turn out differently. And I’m still processing all of that. I’m going to be processing it for a long time. I feel sick about her going to jail and everything.”
“Let me tell you, kiddo, relationships don’t always work out the way we want. I know that. Believe me.” His eyes shone in the harsh fluorescent lights. “Hell, maybe I’m to blame. Your mom and I didn’t set the best example. Or maybe I made you work too hard or expected too much of you.”
“It’s not that. Not you.” I swallowed hard before I went on. “I’ve been holding things close to the vest in every part of my life, playing it safe. The job, the relationship with Renee. But then I let my guard down with Morgan. Because she was different. She was . . . just not like anyone else I knew. Maybe there’s a lesson there. Maybe it’s good I stepped off the merry-go-round.”
Dad nodded. He looked pleased. I wasn’t sure I deserved the look, but I took it.
“You know,” he said, “I was thinking about it, and I realized I never took you to Disney World when you were a kid. And maybe that was a deficiency in your life.”
“Do you think that’s why I fell for Morgan?” I asked.
“Who knows?” He shrugged. “Do you want to go?”
“No, thanks. I have no desire to go back to Florida.”
“Neither do I. I’ve been there so much lately, I could run for governor. Somewhere else, then? I rearranged things, so I have the time. But maybe you just want to be on your own. If you’re interested in doing your own thing, I could catch a flight and do some work—”
“No, that’s okay,” I said. “It might be nice to just get away for fun.”
He looked relieved. Happy.
And I liked seeing him that way.
“So where, then?” he asked. “You know, I was just thinking. . . . I’ve been to Arizona a dozen times for work, but I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon.”
> “Me neither.”
“And Monument Valley is right near there. We could see that too.”
“I’d love to.”
He smacked me on the knee and stood up. “Great. Let’s go check the big board for a flight.”
But I remained in my seat. He looked down at me, his face creased with concern. He looked older. The lines deeper around his eyes, his hair thinner and grayer.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are you still . . . I mean, are you waiting for something from her?”
“It’s not that, Dad. It’s just . . .”
“What?”
“I don’t want to fly. I’m not sure I want to fly ever again. Can we rent a car?”
Dad adjusted the strap of the carry-on. His brow furrowed. “Drive all the way to Arizona?” he asked, thinking out loud.
“We’d see a lot of the country,” I said. “More than we’ve ever seen from the air.”
He started nodding, warming to the idea. “A cross-country road trip. Sounds kind of crazy.”
I stood up. “So you’ll do it?”
“I’ll miss more work,” he said, scratching his chin. “But what the heck. I mean . . . how many more times can we do this?”
I clapped him on the shoulder. “As many as we want, Dad. As many as we want.”
Acknowledgments
Thanks again to the highly creative Kara Thurmond for her Web design.
Thanks again to the tireless Ann-Marie Nieves and Get Red PR.
Thanks again to all the amazing folks at Berkley/Penguin.
Thanks again to the brilliant marketing team of Jin Yu and Bridget O’Toole.
Thanks again to my fantastic publicist, Loren Jaggers.
Thanks again to my wise and wonderful editor, Danielle Perez.
Thanks again to my stupendous agent, Laney Katz Becker.
Thanks again to all my family and friends, especially Craig Williams for his knowledge of airports and air travel.
And unending thanks to Molly McCaffrey for all things.
Questions for Discussion
1. Joshua expresses a lot of disenchantment with his job and the state of his life. Do you understand why he feels this way when he’s only in his twenties?
2. Were you surprised that Joshua invites Morgan to have a drink with him in the airport after knowing her for such a short time?
3. Joshua and Morgan quickly open up to each other at the airport bar. Is there something about the anonymity of airports and planes that allow people to confide in one another in a way they wouldn’t in other places? Have you ever had a similar experience?
4. Were you surprised when Joshua changes his plans and follows Morgan onto her plane? Why do you think he does this? Have you ever done something that impulsive?
5. Kimberly Givens is determined to find out what happened to Giles, even as she tries to balance being a divorced mom with herwork as a police officer. Do you think Kimberly juggles these competing responsibilities effectively?
6. Joshua is very honest with Renee and tells her what he’s doing when he goes to find Morgan. Why do think he tells her the truth?
7. Simon desperately wants to get back the ring that belonged to his mother. He also says he wants to find his brother’s body and give it a proper burial. Which do you think is more important to him?
8. Joshua works for his dad and turns to him when he needs help. What do you think of their relationship?
9. Do you understand why Morgan feels closer to Valerie than she does to her biological mother?
10. Joshua deceives the police in order to see Morgan one more time—and hopes to learn the truth about the crimes for which she’s been accused. Why do you think he wants to do that?
11. In the airport, Morgan finally tells Joshua about everything that has happened. Were you surprised by her honesty? Were you surprised by what she tells him?
12. Joshua reunites with his father at the end of the novel, and they plan a trip together. Why do you think Joshua wants to spend time with his dad now?
Photo by Glen Rose Photography
David Bell is a USA Today bestselling, award-winning author whose work has been translated into multiple foreign languages. He’s currently an associate professor of English at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, Kentucky, where he directs the MFA program. He received an MA in creative writing from Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, and a PhD in American literature and creative writing from the University of Cincinnati. His previous novels are Somebody’s Daughter, Bring Her Home, Since She Went Away, Somebody I Used to Know, The Forgotten Girl, Never Come Back, The Hiding Place, and Cemetery Girl.
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