The door opened and an attractive woman about 50 years old came towards us with a smile. She wore her auburn hair in a dramatic up do and had a Hell’s Saints support tee shirt on. A Rolling Stone tongue tattoo sat on the top of her left breast. Crow introduced her as Dolly. She explained to me that she had been overseeing the cleaning and maintenance of the bar since its beginning. She welcomed me immediately and gave me a big bear hug. She told me she was Reno’s mom and Pinky’s sister in law. Dolly was the widow of Pinky’s brother. The friendly redhead said she knew all about me and called me Sugar and told me I was “a beauty.” I liked Dolly. A lot.
Apparently Prosper had called right after we left the kitchen house. The message that was that Pinky’s sister wasn’t doing as well as they had hoped and that it would be a while longer before they would be back. Jules had told Prosper about my prospective new role in the business and he was all for it.
“You sticking around for a while, Crow? I’ve got some questions on the inventory and I need some more bar supplies. I’m gonna show this little sugar around for a minute then maybe you can spare some time?” Dolly had looped her arms around mine.
“I’ll be here most of the afternoon doing my thing and helping out Raine.” Crow answered. Then the three of us headed into my new place of employment.
The twin black heavy wooden doors open to, what I later learned, was one of the premium Tequila bars in the area. It was big inside, both wide and deep. The color scheme was all red and black with a bar that ran half the length of the room. There were red leather nail studded bar chairs and the bar itself was black granite. The whole room was back lit in crimson. A huge gas fireplace stood in the center of the room. The various booths were all ebony or red leather and there was a wrought iron gate separating the tables from the booths. The lamps dropped low over the tables and glowed with bloodshot stained glass. There were a couple of Goth inspired candelabras and some strategically placed gargoyles in the corner of the room. The whole atmosphere was Bela Lugosi creepy. It was all very old Hollywood without being tacky or silly. It was a great room, and I honestly didn’t feel I had the significant cool quotient to be a part of it.
“Wow.” I breathed.
“Crow designed it, ain’t it something?” Dolly chimed in proudly.
I looked at Crow in awe.
“Wow, this is your baby?” I asked him.
“Nah,” he said. “Thinking some long legged, brown eyed, wiwasteka is gonna be my baby.”
His eyes danced at me. “This,” he shrugged, “is just a bar.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, and when I looked at Dolly she was fanning herself grinning.
Then she grabbed me and headed off with me whispering, “I thought you and Diego….?”
I sighed. It seemed the gossip mill was running rampart in the Hell’s Saints MC.
When Dolly opened the door to Smalley’s office, I was both enchanted and dismayed. Dismayed because, it was as window ran the length of the wall and there was a skylight over the desk letting in lots of natural light. Wall to ceiling shelves and a file cabinet lined one wall. A brocade covered Victorian couch sat in the corner. Of course, it was covered with what I could only assume were Smalley’s clothes. The office had its own bathroom which was filled with man stuff and I wondered if Smalley had spent more than a couple of nights sleeping in this office. There was also a desk top computer and it looked new. Crow told me he had all of the passwords to the business programs Smiley had used. I was familiar with most of them and my fingers were itching to get started.
Crow told me I could “throw all that shit out.” And I took him at his word. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and pinned it on top of my head. I grabbed some plastic gloves, an apron and other cleaning supplies from Dolly and she showed me how to turn on the built in stereo system. The office had one of those half doors where you could close the bottom half but leave the top half open and that’s what I did as I set to work. Dolly and Crow had their heads huddled together over some inventory and maintenance stuff. I was throwing out “shit” and disinfecting the office within an inch of its life. I had started with the bathroom because I knew that would be the most unpleasant and oh boy, was it! But I just closed my eyes and wiped the place clean until my eyes stung from the disinfectant.
When Dolly came in to get me for a coffee break she told me that they had a “person” for that and I should have waited. Then I smiled at her and dragged her into show all I had done. She smiled right back and contributed some nice scented red candles which I lit immediately. By the time I got back from my coffee break, the whole office smelled like a cross between musk and cinnamon and the bathroom was sparkling. I felt the satisfaction of a job well done.
I still had a lot left to do to get the office in check but it was getting late and Crow indicated that it was time to get doing. This he did by wrapping his arms around me and pointing at his watch. His forearms laid soft on the sides of my breasts and he moved them slowly. It was the first time he had actually ever gotten that close to me, and he led with that.
Geez.
I pulled away and Crow pulled me back against him and whispered in my ear, “Fuck baby, you feel good.” Then he turned me around and pulled me in close. We were locked in tight, breast to chest, hips, crotch, and legs. His unbelievable deep emerald eyes held mine. Then he bent and kissed me.
Holy shit. There are kisses and there are kisses. And that kiss made me hear bells. They weren’t the loud clangs of heart stopping bells that I felt when Diego had touched his mouth to mine, but I heard bells nonetheless. Soft sweet chimes that tingled my lips, puckered my nipples and wet my panties. Tingles that sent a thrill right through to my toes. I knew that starting something, anything with Crow, when things were so up in the air with Diego was probably a really bad idea.
But sometimes bad ideas feel really good.
Chapter 26
Crow and I spent the whole next week pretty much together. He drove me to Red’s each morning and we did our thing. Dolly was there most mornings as well. It was nice. I had cleaned up the entire office and Jules and I had looked over the books together. With Crow’s and Jules’s help I was able to get into the computer records. They were actually in pretty good shape, but it was Smalley’s system and not mine. I switched things so they made sense to me and better sense for the business. I liked the work and was good at it.
Prosper was still with Pinky and the news was still uncertain regarding her sister. She seemed to rally a little only to develop a dangerous blood clot which had to be removed surgically and some kind of filter put in. I understood a little of the procedure but not much. I had Crow take me to the florist one day on the way home from Reds and sent two huge bouquets of flowers. One to the family home where Pinky and Prosper were staying and one to the hospital for Pinky’s sister. Her name was Lilah. I was really hoping for the best for them.
Diego was still gone and I know he was checking in with Jules. He left a number where I could reach him but I never used it. He also called me every day on my cell and I deleted the messages before I listened to them. He was supposed to be coming back soon and honestly I anticipated it with really mixed feelings. He definitely stirred something up in me. I just wasn’t sure if that something was bad or something really bad because I knew it wasn’t something that could be good for me. But that something was definitely unique to Diego and me and it wasn’t something I had ever felt with anyone else. Not even with Crow, although things had started to heat up between us and there had been more really hot tongue exchanging sessions between us, it had never progressed much farther than that.
Honestly it wasn’t because I wasn’t willing. I was so willing I felt a dull ache in between my legs every time I looked at him. After one particularly hot make out session Crow planted me on his bike right afterward and I swear I came on the way home. All that vibrating and bumping and holding on to that beautiful bad man caused me to have a major orgasm on the way home from work riding on the back
of Crow’s bike.
Soon after that Crow became a little distant and that had started an ache in the pit of my stomach of a different kind. I was starting to feel like that “passed around and leave her kind of girl” in a high school kind of way. Which was ridiculous because no one had passed me around and no one had left me. But the two romantic dabbling’s I had in the recent past still felt like they had landed in rejection. I was just feeling fragile I guess. Something was definitely up with Crow and it wasn’t my imagination. He wasn’t exactly avoiding me since the last marathon make out session but he didn’t seem anxious to repeat it either. He drove me into work every day and I started taking extra care with my appearance. I know he noticed because Jules did and so did Dolly. It wasn’t anything over the top but maybe a few extra sweeps of mascara and some extra care with my hair. And all my new clothes all in one week. Like that.
I guess if the extra effort had worked, I wouldn’t have felt so…desperate. But it didn’t and Crow remained pretty detached. It sucked because, apart from all the other mixed up, messed up feelings that went along with my encounters with Crow, I had really begun to count on him as a friend. And as hot and heavy and all around feel incredibly good, curl your toes, take a cold shower kisser Crow was, if I knew going there with him would make me lose a friend, I wouldn’t have done it. I wanted to ask him what was putting us in this new place, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
So even though I was doing well in my new role as an employee of Reds, I was feeling out of sorts. I still couldn’t call Claire. Prosper was gone. I had left a career and a life behind and honestly, I didn’t know if Gino was looking for me and Claire. Sooner or later I was going to have to face those demons again and it looked like I was going to have to do it alone. It kind of made me sad. I looked at Crow heading towards me, and that made me sad too. I was tired of wanting what I couldn’t have.
“Raine?” Crow was handing me a helmet.
I looked at him, feeling melancholy.
He saw it.
“Put on your helmet, honey. And let’s go get some Thai food. You in?”
I was in.
We sat down over Thai food and beer.
“You want to tell me what’s making those beautiful blue eyes so sad, honey?”
What I wanted to say was why did you stop wanting me?
But what I said was, “I guess I’m just feeling a little lost. I walked away from my life, Crow. And even if it wasn’t a great life. It was mine and I had a plan. I feel kind of like a failure and I feel alone.” There it was.
Crow looked at me. “I know something about walking away, Raine. Sometimes it feels right, but it never feels good. And the bitch of it is, the unfinished part is always waiting. Before you move forward you have to clear that shit up. But you’re not alone, honey.
“I’m afraid of what’s waiting, Crow. I’m tired, and really I’m alone in all the ways that matter.” I slumped tiredly.
Crow reached across the table and put his hand on mine. “Then rest baby. Rest up, take the calm, take a breath and take a minute to figure it out. I don’t know about all of what you have been through Raine, but I can see some of it. And it looks bad. Prosper is keeping your shit close and Diego, well he wants in. Up to you if you let him. But in the meantime, baby you take the time.”
“Me and Diego. That Ellie thing…..” I waved the thought away.
“She didn’t mean jack to him, and he’s my brother so I got his back. But he should have cleaned that shit up before he went there with you.”
“Yeah.” I was starting to get uncomfortable talking about Diego with Crow.
“It’s not just about Diego, Crow. You and me and then…” I was totally humiliated to have to ask this but I had to know.
“Babe.” Crow was looking at me.
I was peeling the label off the bottle of my beer. The heat rising on my face. He covered my hand with his.
“Raine, you think I wasn’t paying attention of how good my mouth felt on yours? You think I don’t get hard every time, every single fucking time I look at you and think about how you felt when I held you?”
“Then why ..?” I had to know. My wounded pride needed to know. My heart needed to know.
“I got some shit of my own that’s preventing me from starting this with you right now. Baby, it’s just not a good idea.”
I pulled my hand away and he let me.
“Crow, its okay. Please. You don’t have to explain, actually I think we should probably get going.” I moved to grab my purse.
“Raine.” He had moved from his side of the booth to mine and was barring my escape. I really just wanted to leave.
“Raine, baby, you got to believe me when I say you don’t want to go there with me right now. Won’t be good for you till I clear some shit up. I got a woman. Shit, babe, I got a wife. I know that most of the brothers don’t give two fucks about juggling shit like that, but that just ain’t me. And more than that, that just ain’t you.” He was very close but wasn’t touching me.
There it was. His opening farewell.
He was watching me and I nodded. “The life you had?”
“The life we both walked away from.”
“How long ago?” I asked softly.
“Little over a year.”
That wasn’t long enough. Not long enough by a long shot.
“That’s not a long time, Crow. You can still turn it around.” I didn’t know what else to say.
He pulled his hands through his hair.
“Thirteen months, Raine. I’ve not tapped into any of the pussy at the club. Haven’t even looked at that until you walked in that door.” Then he laughed mirthlessly and rubbed the back of his neck.
“I want you to know that. If I was clear of her there would be nothing stopping me from starting us. I would even have that fucking talk with D. But I’m still not sure where that’s going. She asked me to wait, and I’m giving her that time. We’re talking.”
“Okay.” I reached for my purse.
“Okay?” He seemed surprised “That’s it?”
“That’s it.” I made an attempt to move out of the booth.
“Raine, it’s important to me that you understand.” He wasn’t moving.
I honestly couldn’t have cared less what was important to him at that moment.
“I understand Crow, I do. Not a good time for you right now.”
My eyes were bright and I hated myself for that. You’re married and you’re talking with your wife about working it out. Knowing that, you held me and kissed me and have spent almost every waking moment with me for the past week. I had thought maybe it was the start of something nice. At the very least I had believed I had a friend, and I needed that most of all. But friends don’t mess with your feelings like that. It all just felt like a lie now. It hurt in the place that was still raw from the Ellie train wreck. I needed to get as far from these beautiful bad men as I could.
“Is that really all you just heard?” His mouth was tight.
“It’s all I heard that matters, Crow.”
Then he moved out of my way and took me home.
Chapter 27
We pulled up in front to the compound and there were lights on everywhere. The wind had picked up and the evening sky was a stormy shade of gray. I sensed it before I heard it. Something wicked this way comes.
Crow sensed it too and moved his hand to the small of my back as we walked towards the kitchen house. I moved forward quickly wanting to be rid of that touch. Just another walkaway Joe, my mom’s words came whispering unkindly through the wind. Something was brewing and it was waiting for me. I was back to being all alone. Well, at least that was a place I was familiar with.
I had this.
I wasn’t prepared to see Dolly red eyed and shooting down a shot of Tequila when I walked in. Reno was with her and Jules was too. A lot of the other guys were standing or sitting around. Bottles and shot glasses littered the tables and the vibe was subdued. Jesus, I had just
left Dolly a couple of hours ago. What could have possible happened in that short of a time to bring her and lots of others here with her? The quiet drinking was unnerving. This was a rabble rousing tear assed crowd when they drank.
I moved to Dolly and held the hand that wasn’t wrapped around a shot glass.
“Tell me.” I held my breath.
“Oh, honey. It’s Lilah. Well, there were some complications.” Dolly was having a hard time getting the words out.
I felt this wave of sadness roll over me like a storm. I held on tight and felt my heart break for Pinky and Prosper. This was bad. Reno wrapped his arm around his mom. He looked at me.
“Prosper called a little while ago. Pinky is taking it really hard, her only sister. Services will be this week. You, me and mom are flying out first thing in the morning. You cool with that?”
I was cool with that. Very cool with that because that meant I was considered family. And to a girl like me, that meant everything.
“Pack funeral shit. We’ll pick you up at six a.m. be ready.” Reno said roughly to me. Then he took the shot glass out of his mother’s hand and walked her out.
The bikers resumed their drinking and someone was starting a card game in the back. Crow moved towards me and I walked right past him. Done is done.
I took a long hot shower, took extra time doing my hair and then packed a few things. Thanking heaven that I had splurged on the navy blue pencil skirt and pretty white blouse. It wasn’t something black but it would have to do. I threw in a pair of new heels I hadn’t gotten a chance to wear yet, one pair of jeans, one pair of black trousers (that were not new but looked it) one sweater and three tees. I had no idea how long we would be gone, but figured anything else I needed I could buy.
For the plane trip, I wanted to be comfortable put presentable so I wore a pair of my new jeans with some pretty strappy sandals. After changing three times, I settled on a baby blue cami and tissue weight sweater combination. Then because I still had hours to wait, I took some time and put my hair into a really rad crown braid I took way too long picking out some silver jewelry and took even longer putting on my makeup in a way that looked like it hadn’t taken an honest to God half hour to do. The cut on my hair line was still scabbed over and would leave a scar, but the extreme bruising on my face had started to fade so I could cover it with the heavier make up I had just purchased I was looking much better, I told myself. I was all ready to go by 5:00 a.m. and was waiting by the window enjoying a third cup of coffee when they pulled up.
Game Changer (Hell's Saints Motorcycle Club) Page 11
