“Hey!” I slid off the stone wall. “I’m a reporter for Vox Populi and I need to ask you a few questions about your reasons for visiting Starry Hollow.”
She groaned. “This is not how I want to spend my break time. I need a latte. Where’s the nearest coffee shop?”
“The Caffeinated Cauldron isn’t far. Can your latte wait five minutes?”
“Fine,” she huffed, “but I’m going to play while we walk so I can hatch an egg.”
I frowned. “A tepen egg?”
Her glance would’ve withered a live oak behind the cottage. “I don’t have time for stupid questions.”
I squared my shoulders and put on my best reporter face. “I understand you’re here to obtain ingredients for your cosmetics company. You Glow Girl is a great name, by the way.”
“I know. Have you seen our ads?” She waved her free hand in a dramatic fashion. “When pixie dust and blush collide.”
“I don’t know that I want anything colliding on my face.”
She inspected my face. “Yeah, I can see that. A little dark spot corrector wouldn’t kill you. We have an excellent product for that. You can order it from any of the major retailers.”
“I just wear big sunglasses.”
“That might work for dark circles under your eye, but it won’t distract anyone from those age spots on your cheek.”
I clenched my fists in an effort not to throat punch her. “I know that you’re interested in procuring some kind of secretion from the tepen and I don’t even like saying the word.”
“Tepen?” she queried.
“No, secretion.” I shuddered.
Amanda cackled. “Made you say it again.”
I glared at her. “How exactly do you intend to do it?”
“Sorry. I don’t reveal company trade secrets, certainly not to the press.”
“How is that a trade secret?”
“It’s a secret related to my trade, ergo, trade secret.” A strange sound emanated from her phone.
“Did your phone just go pew pew pew?”
She ignored me as she tapped her screen to check the notification. “There’s another one.”
“Another sparkler?”
She tapped on her screen. “You’re mine.”
“If you’re this aggressive about catching the tepen, I’m surprised you haven’t managed it yet.”
“I would have if the whole Winston York thing hadn’t happened.”
“You think his death is the reason you haven’t found the tepen? I would think the fact that you’re here playing a game on your phone might be a factor.”
She cackled again. “You obviously don’t know the first thing about me if you think this game will somehow interfere with me getting my work done.”
“Do your cats always follow you around like some kind of feline Pied Piper?”
She spared a glance at them. “They’re spoiled rotten. They travel everywhere with me. That’s Arwen, Bilbo, and Bay.” She pointed from left to right.
I stared at the calico cats. “Why do you travel with them?”
“I have to. They don’t like anyone except me. I’ve tried sitters, but the cats either scare everyone off or send them to the healer for stitches.”
“I can see why that’s a problem.” Looking at them now as they purred contentedly on the pavement, it was hard to imagine that they were the ferocious beasts that Amanda claimed.
“At least I have my own plane. Makes it much easier to travel with three cats, plus I get to avoid security. The last time I had to fly commercial, I spent an hour getting a full-body pat down. By the time she finished, I felt like I should pay her.”
“That reminds me. I had dinner with your pal Lionel Lattimer last night.”
“Sorry to hear that. How did you end up in that unfortunate situation?”
“He’s friends with my aunt.”
“She must be a real charmer.”
I laughed. “You have no idea. So, have you had many run-ins with Winston York over the years?”
“No, as a matter of fact, this trip is the first time I’ve ever met him.”
“But you knew who he was before this?”
“Of course.” She stepped over Arwen and held up her phone. “Got you!” She tapped on her screen with a triumphant finger before returning her focus to me. “Everyone knows who Winston York is. I spent my childhood watching his programs. Actually, it’s where I got one of my first ideas for a product. It was the one where he featured a gormo. They’re extinct now, but their excess milk was known for its moisturizing properties.”
“Did you meet him while you searched for the tepen?”
“No, the only bozos I saw were Lattimer, that tree hugger Heidelberg, and the Winston wannabe.”
“There’s a Winston wannabe?”
Pew pew pew.
She glanced at her phone. “I already have that one.” She tossed her phone into her handbag adorned with Kim Kardashian’s face. Amanda was a big fan of the human world, it seemed. “I don’t remember his name. He wants to be the next York. Used to work for him.”
My pulse sped up. This could be helpful information. “And you saw him in Starry Hollow?”
“Yeah, we were both in the woods searching for the nest. He thought he found tracks, but they belonged to a raccoon.”
I snorted as I made a mental note to find out the mystery guy’s name. “Are you like Lionel Lattimer? You fly around when there’s a report of a rare creature and try to capture it for your lab?”
The look she gave me would’ve frozen water. “I am nothing like that loser Lattimer.”
“And what about Winston? When did you meet him?”
“I met him on the beach and then we met up for drinks later in the evening.”
“For drinks? Where did you meet him?”
“The old place by the water.” She snapped her fingers in an effort to jog her memory. “The place with the weird vampire pirate behind the bar.”
“The Whitethorn.”
“That’s the one. Cool place. Reminds me of a hobbit house.”
“Bilbo and Arwen must’ve taken a shine to it.”
She smiled at the cats. “The parrot wasn’t too excited about my entourage. He flew off in a huff and the pirate said he probably wouldn’t come back until the cats were gone.”
“You spared yourself a few insults in that case.”
“Yeah, I hate parrots. They look like feathered clowns.”
I wanted to know more about this meeting of the minds. “What did you talk about?”
“Our travels. He asked me if I had any insight on the tepen.”
“Do you?”
She shrugged. “No more than he did. He asked me to pack up and go home, of course, but I expected that.”
“I guess you refused.”
Amanda cursed again as her phone lit up. “I treat my captives with respect, not like that butcher Lattimer.”
“And that was the only time you saw York—at the Whitethorn?”
“That’s it. Incredible guy. I’m sorry he’s dead, even if we didn’t see eye-to-eye.”
I’d have to check out her story while she was still on the hunt for the tepen. “Where are you staying while you’re in town?”
“Well, I was staying at the Lighthouse Inn, but I changed to the Pegasus Palace because apparently topless swimming is frowned upon there.” She rolled her eyes.
“I’m surprised you have time for swimming and gaming.”
She lifted her chin a fraction. “I’m an organizational ninja.”
I was tempted to ask if she was offering lessons, but I already had more than my fair share of those. “Good luck on your quest.”
“Thanks.” Her nose was already back in front of the screen and I heard another string of expletives as I rounded the corner. It occurred to me that if I ever decided to try gaming as a leisure activity, the only part I’d be any good at was the cursing.
Chapter Thirteen
“Are yo
u sure you don’t mind if I meet Alec at the Whitethorn later?” I asked. “I can call Mrs. Babcock if it would make you feel better.”
Marley glanced up from her place on the couch where her nose was buried in a book. “My head is so full of spells I have to memorize that I won’t have any room for anxiety.”
“The upside of a heavy workload,” I said. My phone lit up and Artemis’s name flashed on the screen. “Uh oh. This doesn’t bode well.”
“Artemis?” Marley queried.
I scanned the message. “She wants me to come over. There’s an issue with Ackley and Aspen.”
Marley continued reviewing her book. “It’s okay, Mom. Like I said, I’ll just be doing schoolwork. Do whatever you need to do.”
Raoul, will you hang out with her tonight? I know she said she’s fine, but still.
Are you kidding? I want to see what’s happening over there. I bet the twins are swinging from the chandelier and Jefferson can’t get them down.
I crossed my arms and glared at him. Artemis doesn’t need an audience.
Fine, then I’ll go as your accountability coach. Bonkers is here. She can look after Marley. He motioned to the flying kitten currently digging her claws into the scratching post.
“You two don’t need to argue in your heads,” Marley interjected. “I don’t mind.”
I turned to smile at her. “There’s no need for us to distract you from schoolwork.”
“Just go, Mom. Make sure Artemis is okay. Spend time with Alec. I can handle being on my own.” She inclined her head toward the couch where PP3 was snoring. “Besides, I have a chaperone.”
Tears pricked my eyes. My little girl was growing up right before my eyes. I still remembered when she would cry and cling to my leg at kindergarten drop-off. How was this composed young witch the same person?
I grabbed my handbag from the end table. “Call me if you need anything and definitely call me to say goodnight.”
Raoul shadowed me as I left the cottage, probably afraid that I’d make a run for it. I call shotgun.
“You don’t have to call shotgun when you’re the only passenger.”
He fixed his dark eyes on me. Then how about I drive?
“Are you insane?” I unlocked the car and slid behind the wheel.
Raoul climbed into the passenger seat. Is it such a crazy idea? If that puny leprechaun can reach the pedals, so can I.
“It’s not about reaching the pedals. It’s about actually driving. You’re a raccoon.” I pulled the car away from the house and set off down the driveway.
He rested his paws behind his head. I don’t think you’re thinking this through. If I drive, that enables you to do all sorts of things.
I squinted at him. “Like what?”
I can run errands for you. Pick up your dry cleaning.
“I never have dry cleaning. If a tag says dry clean only, it goes back on the rack.”
He tapped his paw against his face, thinking. I can go through the drive-thru for you so you don’t have to leave the house.
My hands froze on the wheel. “Now that’s a worthwhile skill.”
I could even do the taco truck.
I mulled it over. “How much trouble might we be in if Bolan catches you behind the wheel?”
Nothing you can’t get out of. Tell him I took the car without your permission. He’ll believe that.
Yes, he definitely would. Raoul’s shady past oftentimes caught up with him. “Let me think about it.”
That’s adult speak for no.
“How about there’s no speak for five minutes? I’m having trouble hearing myself think with you constantly talking.”
But I’m bringing life to the voice inside your head.
I gave him a pointed look. “You are the voice inside my head. That’s the problem.”
That’s my job right now, remember? My goal is to push you to do better. To up your stagnant game. Isn’t that what you want?
I wrinkled my nose. “You shouldn’t use words like stagnant.”
He looked aggrieved. Why not? I’m clever enough.
“I know, but it conjures images of flies circling piles of trash.”
He settled against the back of the seat. Now I’m hungry.
I pulled in front of Haverford House and parked the car. “You’re supposed to be providing assistance in a nonjudgmental way. That’s what accountability coaches do. Otherwise, you’re just a surrogate mother.” Or, in my case, aunt.
How am I judgmental? Do I comment when you go to bed without flossing your teeth? Do I open my mouth when you add cinnamon to what would otherwise be excellent oatmeal? No. No, I do not. His huff was full of aggravation.
“Let’s table this for later. I have to rescue poor Artemis from these blond balls of energy.”
I hurried to the door and waited for Jefferson to answer. A few minutes later, the door creaked open and Artemis stood there in her white lace dress and a troubled expression.
“Oh, thank the goddess.”
I stepped inside with Raoul right behind me. “Where’s Jefferson?”
“He’s trying to entice the boys to come down from the roof.”
My heart began to pound. “The roof?”
“Yes, they wanted to take turns on my broomstick,” Artemis said. “They were very insistent and I wasn’t quick enough to stop them.”
“They can’t see or hear Jefferson. How can a ghost entice them to do anything?”
Artemis pursed her lips. “I don’t know exactly. Jefferson said he would handle it so I let him.”
Raoul licked his paw and smoothed down the wayward fur on his head. I’ll take care of it. You stay here with Artemis.
I glanced quizzically at my raccoon familiar. “Are you sure?”
I have a feeling if you get up there, it’ll only escalate.
“Okay.” I smiled at Artemis. “Raoul is going to give Jefferson a hand…paw on the roof.”
“Wonderful. Thank you so much.” She seemed to notice my outfit for the first time. “You look very dressed up for an evening at home.”
I glanced down at my dress. “Oh, that’s because I’m meeting Alec out for a drink.”
“Date night, is it?” she asked slyly.
“Sort of. I need to follow up on something at the Whitethorn for an article I’m writing and we figured we’d combine the two.”
“Sounds lovely. Would you like a cup of tea while you wait?”
“Sure.” I knew how much Artemis enjoyed the role of hostess and I wasn’t about to deprive her of it. My aunt, on the other hand, was another story.
I sat on the settee in the parlor room and checked in with Marley while I waited for the elderly witch to return with my tea. A few minutes later, Artemis meandered into the room with a cup and saucer shaking in her unsteady hand. Every nerve in my body was screaming to rush in and rescue the cup before she spilled it, but I resisted the urge to swoop in and insult her. The elderly witch finally reached the loveseat and, as she leaned back to sit, I swiped the cup and saucer and set them carefully on the coffee table.
“I’m glad we were able to help you out,” I said. “I would’ve felt terrible if they’d burned down your house or something.” I laughed awkwardly.
“Oh, they’re not that naughty. I just worry about them so high up. I know Aster hasn’t introduced them to very much in the way of magic.”
“No, not yet. I’m surprised they’re not afraid of Jefferson,” I said. “It’s not as though any of us have our own ghost.”
“I think it’s because they can’t see him, so they feel they don’t have to answer to him.”
I slurped my tea. “Actually, even if they could see him, they wouldn’t feel they had to answer to him. They’re at that stage where they’re testing boundaries as well as patience.”
Raoul returned to the parlor room looking satisfied.
I rose to my feet, my throat thickening at the sight of the raccoon by himself. “What happened? Where are the boys?”
<
br /> In bed. They let Jefferson tuck them in.
“How did you manage that feat?”
I pretended to have rabies and foamed at the mouth until they ran to Jefferson to save them. He scooped them up and carried them off.
“Ah, fear is an excellent motivator,” I said.
I’ll remember that the next time you complain about your aunt.
I calmed Artemis with a relaxed smile. “The boys are in bed now. Jefferson tucked them in safely.”
“Thank the goddess for that.” Artemis clucked her tongue. “I forget how naughty little wizards can be. It’s been quite some time since I had dealings with any.”
“I’m sorry they were so much trouble.”
“It’s quite all right, Ember. I thought I could keep them in line with magic, but I don’t use spells the way I used to. I couldn’t even find my wand.” Her pale eyes sparked with a memory. “Speaking of wands, how is Marley making out with the one she inherited from that ancestor of yours?”
“Hmm.” I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to divulge—not that I didn’t trust Artemis, but she was the town matchmaker and had more foot traffic than the Starry Hollow podiatrist. Telling her that I accessed Ivy’s magic would increase the risk of Hyacinth finding out.
Artemis seemed to sense my apprehension. “I’m sorry, dear. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my concern.”
“It isn’t that…” It would be nice to have a witch to confide in—someone who understood the history. “There are things about the situation that bother me.”
“I see.”
Tell her, Raoul urged from beside me on the settee.
I don’t know that I should.
She’s ancient. She won’t remember tomorrow. Get her advice and get out.
I rolled my eyes. This is your advice as my accountability coach?
No, I’m wearing my familiar hat now.
Is it made of raccoon fur? Because that hasn’t been in vogue since Davy Crockett.
“Would you like anything else?” Artemis offered. “Another drink or a biscuit?”
“No, thank you. We’re good.”
Don’t speak for me. He raised a paw. I’ll have a pepperoni pizza with a burrito on the side.
Magic & Monsters (Starry Hollow Witches Book 12) Page 13
