“Fuck, Kayla.” I thrust with a clenched jaw, my whole body locked up tight.
“Oh God, I missed this,” she respires as Reese and I find a rhythm.
“You love our cocks inside you. Filling you all up?” Reese traps Kayla’s face, kissing her as we fuck.
“I just love you.” I feel like a third wheel as they connect, more anger rising up. “Both of you.” She barely forces the last part out. “Reese,” she strains, sending me over the edge. It’s my name she should be saying and only my cock bringing her pleasure. I punch my hips harder, digging in as deep as I can. I don’t even withdraw; just keep pushing forward until all she feels is me.
“Dev!” Kayla reaches around and sinks her nails into my thigh. “Dev, that hurts!” She shrieks, but it’s too late to stop because an orgasm has already seized me. I black out, coming viciously, Kayla’s tense ass strangling me tightly.
There are echoes of voices as the shockwave passes.
“Dev! Dev! Devlin, get off her!” Reese’s voice breaks through the barrier.
I scurry back, nearly falling off the bed. My eyes focus on Reese’s pissed off face and Kayla’s fresh tears. What the fuck just happened?
“What’s up with you, man? You hurt her!”
My bewildered gaze jumps between them before I bound off the bed and scoop up my clothes.
I leave without a word, spooked out of my mind.
Kayla
I pace the parking garage like a stalkerish girlfriend, because that’s exactly what I’ve been reduced to. I don’t know what the fuck happened last night.
One minute, everything was fine; the stars were aligned with all three of us back together, and then, chaos. At one point, I thought Dev was going to rip me open. I’m actually still in a little pain, but it’s nothing compared to the confusion and worry shredding apart my insides. I texted him twenty times after he left with not a single response, and today at work, he’s avoided me at all costs. It’s killing me. So I’ve been stalking his car for the last half hour waiting for him to leave the hospital. I’m hiding by the back end of the Mustang, so he doesn’t see me until it’s too late. There’s no avoiding me now, and the expression on his face conveys he knows that.
He stops short a good three feet away. The physical and emotional distance breaks my fucking heart.
This isn’t the Dev I know--the one who can barely keep his hands off me, who now won’t even come near me. We stare at each other silently, his big blue eyes guarded.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell happened last night?” I cut to the chase. I have to know.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he just stands there quietly working his jaw.
I wait impatiently for an answer. “Dev.” I take a forceful step forward.
“Kayla, don’t.” He puts his hand up, stopping me from running into his arms.
“Don’t what? Talk to you? Look at you? Touch you?”
“Yes, all of it.” His voice is pained.
“Why?” I whisper, crushed.
“Because . . .” He struggles to explain. “Things are just different.”
“Different how?”
“I just can’t.”
“Can’t what?” I demand.
“Share you!” he shouts, his voice echoing like a sonic boom.
“What?” I’m left shocked.
“I don’t want to share you anymore.” He lays it all out for me. Clear and concise. As sharp as a blade.
“I don’t understand. Then what do you want?”
He grills me hard, and suddenly, I realize. “Oh, you want me to choose?”
“It’s the only way. Last night was a testament. I couldn’t stand seeing you with him. It sent me right off the deep end when I heard you moan his name . . .” He glowers like the memory is excruciating. “When you told him you that you loved him . . .”
“I said I loved both of you,” I painfully remind him.
“I want to be the only one.”
I shake my head, disbelieving. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” Choosing isn’t an option for me. Not when I love them both.
“I want you to say you choose me.” He bangs his chest with a closed fist. “I want you to tell me the last two months changed you the same way they changed me.”
“They did change me. They made me love you more, but they didn’t make me love Reese less. And I can’t choose. I won’t. I love both of you. I’m committed to both of you.”
“How long do you think what the three of us have is going to last?” he snaps, enraged. “The rest of our lives? You going to marry us both? Have both our children?”
I have no response, because I haven’t thought that far into the future, but apparently, Dev has.
“Reese is nothing but a heartache waiting to happen. He’s going to hurt you, Kayla. Mark my words. There are things about him you don’t know. Get out while you still can. Choose me. Right now. And we can start a life together. A rock-solid life with no secrets.”
“Reese doesn’t keep secrets from me.”
“Yes, he does, Kayla. He loves racing more than anything. More than you, and one day, it’ll come between you, or worse, just completely take him away.”
“Why are you trying to poison me with your jealousy?” Angry tears cloud my vision. “Why are you trying to turn me against him? Do you think that’s going to make me choose? It just pisses me off!”
“I’m trying to make you see.” He grabs me by the arms hostilely.
“All I see if a selfish man who proved me right.”
“Proved you right how?”
“I knew you would hurt me, and you have. You are.” Hot tears escape from my eyes, cooling on my face in the cold March wind. “What happened to me being your future?”
“I do want you to be my future.” He shakes me. “I love you more than anything. I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want to be with you. That’s what I envision. You and me. And this is the only way,” he professes.
“No, it’s not.” I argue. “It’s your way! I won’t choose. I love Reese as much as I love you.” His expression morphs into something dark, a harrowing inverse to the amorous features I thrive on.
“So be it then.” He pushes me away. “You just condemned yourself to unimaginable heartbreak.”
“Oh, I think I can imagine it. I’m feeling it now,” I seethe.
Dev steps back, ruin written all over his beautiful features.
“Good-bye, Kayla.”
Those three words utterly destroy me. I feel it; they are final.
“Dev,” I mutter his name, an emotional mess. But he just ignores me and climbs into his car. “Dev!” I scream at him after he shuts the door. The V8 rumbles to life just before he pulls out, leaving me standing there entirely broken.
I can only watch, fragmented, as he drives away, still the owner of half of my heart.
The pain grates away at my insides as I hurry to my truck. In a fit of tears, I call Reese.
“Hello?”
“Can you come to my house?” I choke.
“Kayla? What wrong?” There’s alarm in his voice.
“Just please come over. I’m leaving work now.”
“I’ll come. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can’t, not now. I’ll see you in a few,” I snivel, then hang up.
I drive home in a daze, the wound still gaping and fresh. As promised, Reese is waiting for me when I get there. I barely put the car in park before I jump out and retreat into his arms.
“Baby, what happened? Tell me what the hell is wrong.” He hugs me tightly.
“It’s Dev.”
“Did something happen to him?” he asks panicked.
“No. He’s done,” I try to explain.
“Done? Done with what?”
“Me.” I break down, sagging in his arms.
Reese carries me inside as I continue to fall apart. He directs us into the kitchen and plants me on the countertop.
“Please take
a breath and tell me what happened.” He wipes my wet face with his palms. “Does this have something to do with last night?”
“Yes. He wanted me to choose, and I wouldn’t.”
“Choose?” He tries like hell to interpret. “Between the two of us?”
“Yes. He said he couldn’t share anymore. So it was basically all or nothing. But I won’t choose. I love you both. So much.” I ball his shirt in my hands, holding on for dear life.
“Fucking idiot,” Reese mutters lividly. “Kayla, I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?” He clutches my face. I shake my head. The pain is just too much.
“Relax.” He kisses me tenderly, soothingly. “Relax, I’m here, and I’m never leaving you.” He forces me to look him in the eye. “Tell me you believe that.”
I hesitate, Dev’s warning unforgettable. “Reese is nothing but a heartache waiting to happen. He’s going to hurt you, Kayla. Mark my words. There are things about him you don’t know. Get out while you still can.”
What if he’s right?
“Kayla.” Reese jostles me.
“I do,” I squeak out.
“Good.” Satisfied, he pulls me into a bear hug. As I rest my head on his chest, emotional exhaustion begins to set in. I sigh deeply, wanting nothing more than to curl up next to Reese and go to sleep.
“Do you want to lie down?” He senses my surrender.
I nod.
We retreat to my small bedroom. It’s been ages since I slept here. I crawl bone-tired onto the bed with Reese right beside me. I lay my head on his chest and draw on his warmth. On his love. Listening to the sound of his erratic heartbeat.
Reese runs his fingers through my hair, lulling me to sleep.
I close my eyes, welcoming the slumber.
Reese
I slip out of Kayla’s bed close to ten p.m. I’ve had my mind on one thing the whole night. Actually, I should say one person. I leave her a note ensuring I’ll be back, then drive straight over to my brother’s. He’s a dead man walking for what he’s done.
It puts last night into perspective, though. He was completely off the wall. Selfish motherfucker. Kayla is devastated, and he’s going to fucking fix it.
“Dev!” I burst through the door. “Where the fuck are you?”
I storm through the house until I find him standing on the back deck.
“What the fuck?” I stomp across the wood and shove him. “You just broke her fucking heart!”
“I was trying to save her, but she made her choice.” He gets in my face.
“You forced her hand! She’s fucking loyal! Which is more than I can say for you!” I shout with our noses an inch apart.
“What are you more upset about, Reese? That I hurt her, or you now have sole responsibility?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I spit.
“It means you don’t have me to push her off on when you leave to traipse across the world or to dump your problems on when they become too much of a headache. Isn’t that why you suggested this whole situation to begin with? So I can pick up your pieces and cover your ass?”
“No!” I shove him. “Kayla is not some problem! And what you and I have conspiring between us has nothing to do with her!”
“Doesn’t it? Your decisions, your actions, your life directly affects hers.” He stalks back toward me. “That’s how relationships work, Reese. Why don’t you just put an end to all of our misery, and do the inevitable now.”
“Which is?” I ask defiantly.
“Walk away. Leave Kayla and me be, and go commit suicide on the track. You’ll never truly be happy until you push yourself to the point of death.”
I seethe at my brother. Mainly because he’s right. I did have a death wish, but I don’t anymore. I meant it when I said Kayla changed me. She’ll never know the depths of the transformation. But one day soon, I’ll tell her. I’ll expose everything. She’ll be the only other person besides Dev who’ll know the truth. My truth.
“I’m not walking away.” I stand my ground. “Not this time, and not from her.”
Dev glares at me but says nothing.
“I wish it didn’t have to be like this,” I waver.
“But it does,” he replies obstinately.
“You’re a fucking moron!” I lash out. “When the regret sets in, remember you did this to yourself.”
His blue eyes flash. “I already regret it.”
I shake my head at my stubborn-ass brother. When did the tables turn? He’s always been the sensible one, and now, I barely even recognize him.
I leave the house on a mission. If this is how it ends, so be it. I know what needs to be done, and I’m not going to waste a minute.
I creep back into Kayla’s condo. I hear the shower running as I make my way back upstairs. She’s just turning off the faucet when I walk into her small bathroom. I grab the towel from the rack and wrap her in it as she steps out. She looks weary and tired and melts into my arms as soon I embrace her.
“I wasn’t sure you were coming back.”
“I left a note saying I was.” I kiss her hair.
“I’m in a strange place right now. Everything seems uncertain.”
I can’t say I know what it’s like to have my heart broken, but I do understand what it feels like to hurt, and Kayla is in so much pain, it’s palpable.
I lean against the bathroom counter and pull her against me. The room is still steaming and the faint smell of her coconut shampoo is lingering in the air.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Dev may be stupid enough to walk away from the best thing that’s ever happened to us, but I’m not. Fuck him and fuck this place. We don’t need any of it.”
Kayla hangs on my every word wide-eyed, trying to decipher exactly what it is I’m trying to say. I take a deep breath because here it comes.
“Marry me.” I clutch her face. “Leave the land that time forgot and travel the world with me. Be by my side. It’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted.”
Kayla stands there gaping. I know my proposal is abrupt, but it’s what I want. And if there’s one thing about me, I always go after what I want.
“Reese, I can’t just up and leave. I have a job and house and bills to pay.”
“Kayla, I’ll take care of it. All of it.”
“I’m not a charity case, Reese.” She becomes defensive.
“I know you’re not. You’re the woman I want to be my wife. Isn’t that what couples do? Share their livelihood? What’s the point of having fame and fortune if I can’t share it with the people I love? I’ve been alone for so long. I’m ready for this. For us.”
The expression on Kayla’s face is one filled with trepidation. I know I just dumped a shitload on her. Marriage, leaving her home, her job, her family. But life is short, and if you don’t strike while the iron’s hot, you can miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And this is one opportunity I refuse to pass up.
“I don’t know what to say.” She’s clearly shocked.
“Say yes.” I shake her lightly. “Take a risk. Jump without looking. I promise I’ll catch you.”
Kayla deliberates for a long while. A very long while, just standing in my arms with heavy wet hair and her body wrapped in only a towel.
She closes her eyes and inhales, causing my heart to stop. Doubt suddenly pours over me. What if her sense outweighs my impulsiveness? What if one man isn’t enough?
Kayla opens her eyes, the flecks of gold piercing through her brown irises. Her gaze is heavy—unreadable. I hold my breath.
“Yes.”
Kayla
My life had transformed in a matter of days. A week ago, I was in the States, giving notice at my job and packing for an extended trip. Today, I’m on Reese’s arm, standing in a lavish ballroom, wearing a red cocktail dress, having a conversation with an Italian megastar whose name eludes me at the moment. I’ve met so many new people in such a short amount of time, it feels like my head is spinning. I
plaster on a smile as Reece and the charismatic man discuss topics beyond my comprehension. But I guess I’ll learn. At least, I’m trying. Being catapulted into Reese’s world has opened my eyes dramatically. In the U.S., he’s popular. In Europe, he’s revered as a god. Racing is like a religion, and the people occupying this room are deities.
I continue to smile and nod as the handsome, olive-skinned man throws amicable digs at Reese in this thick Italian accent.
“...And I say…What is this? The Phantom. He smile. He never smile.” He laughs. “And now, I know. It’s you.” He addresses me. “You cause…How you say? -Shit-eating American?”
Reese shoves the man good-naturedly. “Shit-eating grin. The expression is shit-eating grin.”
“I still no understand.” He speaks with his hands. “Why would you eat shit and grin?”
The three of us simultaneously crack up. He has a point.
“Vanni!” someone calls from across the room. That’s it! Giovanni is his name. I file it away for next time.
Vanni waves in acknowledgment.
“I must go, bella.” He kisses my hand. I don’t think a man has ever kissed my hand. “It was a pleasure. Keep making him eat shit.” He winks and gestures at Reese.
I giggle. “Promise.”
“Amico.” He slaps Reese on the back and walks away. Most of the people in this room are from a foreign country. Well, foreign to Reese and me. Only a handful of Americans are in our presence. The majority of the conversations I overhear are in different languages. Being surrounded by so much culture is an enlightening experience.
Reese’s flashy life is so distracting; I nearly forget about the pain. But it always creeps back up on me. Losing Dev. The wound is still bloody and fresh, but I remind myself this is what he wanted. He walked away.
I would have loved them both for the rest of my life.
I refused to choose, so he did it for me.
I go to fiddle with my necklace, the diamond butterfly Dev gave me for Christmas, but when I touch my throat, it isn’t there. I never took it off before, but when Dev decided he’d had enough, and Reese proposed, I decided it was time to retire it. I left it in my condo along with any other reminders of him. But no matter how hard I try to forget, one look at Reese can awaken the memories. Though their personalities are different, their facial features are exactly the same. I’m living in a sweet hell. Loving one man unconditionally, while resenting his twin at the exact same time.
Keep This Promise Page 161
