I should cut Devin a break.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He ran a hand through his dark hair and drew to a stop.
I hesitated but halted with him as he struggled with his words.
My heart beat a little fast, my suspicion growing.
Devin nervously licked his lips. “So, okay, I’m just going to say it, so I stop messing it up. Jane, will … would you go on a date with me?”
I felt my cheeks grow hot. “I have a boyfriend, Devin,” I reminded him. “You know that.”
He nodded, his neck turning red. “I just … I just thought … I didn’t know if you were serious, and we have a lot in common …”
Did we?
I wracked my brain trying to think over the conversations we’d had. Devin and I spoke to each other in class. We’d eaten together at lunch with a few of our other classmates, including Cassie, but I couldn’t remember us having any deep, meaningful conversations. “Well, I appreciate it, but I love my boyfriend. I’m sorry.”
Devin flushed hard, rubbing his neck. “Right. Sure. Okay. Bye.” He strode off, leaving me in the wake of the awful awkwardness.
Crap.
I hoped things wouldn’t be too weird between us.
I talked about Jamie all the time. He’d even had lunch with me at school on a number of occasions. My friends all knew I had a boyfriend; so did some of my other classmates. I didn’t expect to be asked out by someone who knew about Jamie.
Did that mean girls were still asking Jamie out at USC?
Of course, it did.
Classes were way bigger at USC. They wouldn’t know he had a girlfriend.
Possessiveness bothered me as I walked out of school toward the bus stop.
I trusted Jamie.
It didn’t mean I liked the idea of girls hovering around him. And they must. He was protective, sexy, witty, talented, brooding, and a track star.
But he’s also all mine, I reminded myself with utmost certainty.
I smiled as I put in my earbuds and flicked through Spotify to my latest playlist. Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes thundered in my ears as I strolled to the bus stop. Pomona College was only a forty-minute bus ride from the house I now lived in with the McKennas.
Despite my distant but polite relationship with Willa and Nick, they’d offered to let me stay at their apartment while I was in college. They weren’t legally obligated to as I was an adult, so it was kind of them to offer. However, Jamie had spoken to Skye, and Skye had offered me Lorna’s room now that she was pre-law at Columbia in New York.
I’d jumped at the chance.
If Jamie was cool with me living with them, then I was all for it.
Skye had insisted I have my own room to create “boundaries,” but I spent every night in Jamie’s bed. Lorna’s room became my art studio. There was a moment where I worried I was intruding too much in Jamie’s space and suggested I sleep in my room instead. He got pissed and did what he always did to stop me discussing anything that annoyed him.
He kissed me and then screwed my insecurities right out of me.
I didn’t mind his methods at all. They’d only become a problem if he avoided talking about something I really, really wanted to discuss.
As I found a seat on the bus, I bit my lip, staring out the window, feeling the ghost of Jamie’s hands and mouth on me. The last eight months had been intoxicating. I couldn’t think of a better word.
Our appetite for one another was insatiable.
Sex had only drawn us more tightly into our little bubble of two.
Yeah, we hung out with friends, mostly his track teammates from USC (even Wex, who got over his crush on me pretty fast), but if we were together, we were rarely not touching. I knew his friends gave him shit about it, but Jamie didn’t care.
I was his entire world.
And he was mine.
The bus let me off a block from the house, the October sun beating hard on my back as I sauntered happily home.
It was the first home I’d truly had since I was seven years old.
With Lorna gone, the horrible atmosphere she created whenever she was around went with her. My relief to have her on the other side of the country made me feel like a traitor, but I couldn’t deny Jamie and I were more relaxed without her around.
I knew Skye missed her, and I’d feel bad about it if I thought Jamie and I had chased Lorna away. But Columbia had been Lorna’s dream school since she was fourteen. Her not staying in close contact with her big sister was not anyone’s fault but Lorna’s.
She pushed everyone away.
I missed my best friend.
Not who she was now. But the little kid who enveloped me in her love without hesitation and offered me a home.
I missed that Lorna.
It was the only thing in my life now that was tainted by sadness. Still, it couldn’t touch my overall satisfaction. I’d gotten into my college of choice, I was living with people I loved, and I was the kind of “in love” that other people only read about or saw in movies.
It seemed that Fate was trying to make up for our hard start in life when She gave me and Jamie to one another.
As for Skye, she had won a role on a popular TV hospital drama. Approval ratings for her character were high, and she’d already signed a contract for the next season. This meant she’d insisted that Jamie lease a car. He’d insisted on nothing fancy and was driving a practical hybrid. Skye was driving around in a shiny white Mercedes convertible.
Two weeks ago, a woman turned up at the house asking for Skye’s autograph. How she found Skye’s address, we didn’t know, but it freaked Jamie out. He wanted us to move. Skye was calm about it all. Her social media followers had increased exponentially since joining the show, and she’d appeared in the gossip rags again, snapped out and around Hollywood with her friends. Skye took it in stride. It pissed her off when they’d posted a photo of her and Jamie, insinuating she had a boy toy, but that was the only time I’d seen her harassed by her increasing fame.
At the sight of Jamie’s and Skye’s cars parked outside the house, I smiled. They were my family now, and I appreciated returning to a house where my family was waiting. I really hoped I never lost that appreciation. I had a feeling that kind of gratitude was the key to happiness.
They weren’t inside the air-conditioned house, but I could hear raised voices coming from out back. The weather was especially hot this fall, and we were enjoying a rare break from the Santa Ana winds, so it didn’t surprise me they were probably enjoying the pool. The kitchen window was open as I passed, their conversation halting me on my progress to join them.
“You’re getting defensive,” Skye groaned.
I frowned, pausing.
“You just said you didn’t want Jane living here.”
My heart stopped. What?
“I did not,” she hissed. “I said, I wanted the sleeping-in-the-same-room thing to stop.”
“Why? We’re both adults.”
“No, Jamie. You’re twenty and she’s eighteen. I said yes to Jane living here because I love her, and I want her to be somewhere she feels wanted. But Jane is also your girlfriend, and I’m slightly concerned about my little brother living with his girlfriend at such a young age. However, to assuage my fears, you said that Jane would stay in Lorna’s room, and she hasn’t been staying in Lorna’s room. I’m not an idiot. I know she sleeps in your room. Every night.”
Oh, God … were we … loud?
“What is the damn problem?”
I knew that tone—Jamie was about to explode.
I wondered if I should go out there, but I was too hurt to move.
All this time, I’d thought Skye was more than happy with our arrangement, and I’d been blissfully ignorant.
“Jamie, I’m not trying to upset you. I love you both and I just … I’m concerned that you’re too young to be this deep into it with each other. I was happy for you both when you first started dating, but I’ve never seen anything
like you two. I mean … you are consumed by one another. As a recovering addict, believe me when I say that you need other interests outside of Jane.”
There was silence.
Was Skye suggesting that our relationship was as unhealthy as an addiction?
“She’s not my fucking drug. I’m not hers. This isn’t some destructive addiction—”
“Jamie, please don’t curse at me.”
“You just insinuated that I’m in a bad relationship. You compared us to your addiction.” His tone reflected my hurt.
“God, that’s not—”
“Just because you’ve never loved someone like I love Jane doesn’t mean it’s unhealthy. You just don’t understand.”
I flinched, feeling terrible for Skye. Sometimes Jamie could cut a person to the quick when he was angry.
“You’re right.” She sounded sad. “A guy has never loved me like that, or vice versa. I’m sorry. I didn’t … I shouldn’t have compared your relationship to my addiction. I just … I wish that you two had other interests.”
“We have other interests,” Jamie argued as I muttered the same under my breath.
My hands were covered in paint from my other interest.
Art and Jamie and books. Those were interests. What was so wrong about that?
“You know what I mean. I think Jane should sleep in Lorna’s bed from now on and that you two should practice a little distance. I don’t want you to lose yourself inside one another. It scares me.”
Jamie’s tone softened. “What scares you about it?”
“Love is one thing. We all need it. But … we have to stand on our own. To survive on our own. Jamie, God forbid something happened to either of you … I see how you are with one another, and I’m so worried about what will become of you if something happened to Jane. Or to Jane if something happened to you.”
To my surprise, Jamie chuckled. “Skye, the actress in you is being melodramatic.”
“Don’t be condescending.”
He laughed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be.”
“I know you think I’m worrying about nothing, but I saw you today with that girl, and I thought … maybe you and Jane shouldn’t shut down all your options. Isn’t there a part of you that went to USC to stay close to her? And I know she chose Pomona to stay close to you. But what if Jane hadn’t done that? What if she’d followed Lorna to New York? Maybe you would have met someone else. Someone you’re not so wrapped up in. Someone easier … It’s not like you don’t notice other girls. Like the girl today, for instance.”
What girl? I frowned.
“One, Lacey is my project partner. Nothing more—”
“It didn’t seem that way for her.”
What? I knew Lacey Gibbins was working with Jamie on a presentation for children’s literature.
“Well, it’s that way for me.”
“I’m just saying, you two seemed to get along great. And what about Jane? She’s only eighteen, Jamie. And she’s not just a typical teen girl. She hasn’t had a lot of love in her life, and maybe that’s why she clings to her relationship with you so much. It might be healthier for her to be out there, having fun.”
“Having fun?” His tone was back to biting. “You mean, screwing other guys.”
“Don’t be crass. I meant dating.”
“She doesn’t want to. She wants me. And I want her. End of story. Jesus Christ, Skye, she makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Why the hell would I give that up? Why would you want me to?”
My cheeks flushed hot at his words, my heart aching in recognition of everything he was feeling because I felt it too.
Water splashed, and his voice drew a little closer to the house as he said, “Jane looks up to you. She listens to you. You say any of this ridiculous shit to her and mess with her head … I swear, Skye, I won’t forgive you.”
“Jamie, I’m sorry, I won’t. This is … I’m putting my crap on you, okay. I love you. I want you to be happy. I want Jane to be happy.” Her voice broke. “I just worry about you. Please don’t be mad at me.”
At his silence, I glanced out the window and saw the siblings were hugging.
I took that moment to disappear upstairs and dump my bag.
Sitting on the bed in Lorna’s room, I stared a little unseeing at the artwork that cluttered the room. I wondered if Skye was right. Were Jamie and I setting ourselves up for heartbreak?
So lost in my thoughts, it took Jamie sitting down beside me on the bed for me to notice his presence. I drew in a breath, startled.
Our eyes locked. His narrowed. “You heard, didn’t you?”
I nodded.
Frustration tightened his features, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me.
“I’m making things weird for you two.”
“No.” He kissed me. Hard, deep, trying to pull me under his spell so I’d forget about their argument.
“Jamie,” I pulled away. “Are you and Skye okay?”
“We’re fine,” he assured me, tucking my hair behind my ear. “And you’re not sleeping in here so don’t get any ideas.” His lips brushed over mine as he curled his hand gently around my neck. It was claiming, dominant, and it made me shiver. “You know you need me at night,” he teased. “I need to be readily available to you.”
I rolled my eyes. Smug bastard. Often, I woke in the middle of the night, wanting him. It was me who kissed him awake. It was me who straddled him in the dark of the night, desperate to have him.
“Fuck, you excite me,” he whispered harshly, gripping my hips as I slid up and down on him.
I frowned, pushing out the memories before they distracted me. “We do have a lot of sex. Is that normal?”
Jamie burst out laughing, pulling me into his body, his laughter fluttering against my neck as he buried his head there.
“Jamie.”
My annoyed tone only made him laugh harder. Finally, he lifted his head, but only to kiss my pinched lips open. “You’re sleeping in my bed, and you’ll reach for me anytime you want. Discussion over.” He moved to stand, hand in mine, attempting to pull me up. I tugged on it, refusing to budge. “What?”
“What did Skye mean about Lacey?”
Jamie sighed and let go of me to run a hand through his hair. “Jane—”
“Well?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “She was here this afternoon. We were going over our presentation for tomorrow.”
“She likes you?”
“She kissed me.”
My heart lurched.
“Something I would have told you without Skye’s help.” Seeing my dubious expression, his brow puckered. “Jesus, Jane, you don’t think I actually wanted her to kiss me.”
I shook my head.
Still, I hated the idea of her lips anywhere near his.
His lips were mine.
My hands clenched into fists in my lap, and Jamie’s gaze dropped to them. “Jane, I pushed her off. I told her it wasn’t happening, and it would never happen. Skye walked in on the whole thing. Mortifying for Lacey. I felt bad for her.”
I narrowed my eyes. “She knows you have a girlfriend.” It wasn’t a question. “I don’t feel bad for her. She wasn’t thinking of my feelings when she kissed you.” I stood and threw him a displeased glare. “I’m hungry.”
I heard his heavy sigh as he followed at my back. “Doe, girls will come onto me. Ask me out. Guys will do the same to you. Doesn’t mean anything. Other than that, we’re both extremely irresistible.”
My lips twitched at his teasing as I thundered down the stairs. Skye was nowhere in sight. Feeling Jamie at my back as I opened the refrigerator, I said, “Well, since you were open with me, I should tell you I got asked out today.” I grabbed some carrots and hummus and shut the door, turning to Jamie, struggling to hide my smile.
His face had darkened. “Who?”
I tried not to laugh at his changed tone. “What happened to ‘it doesn’t mean anything’?”
“Are you messing with me or did someone ask you out?”
“Devin.” I shrugged. “He hoped you and I weren’t serious. I put him straight.” I dipped a carrot into the hummus and took a loud, noisy bite, relishing Jamie’s obvious annoyance. It made me feel better about mine.
“The tall, gangly moron?”
“He’s not a moron.” I offered him a carrot. “I felt bad for him.”
Jamie impatiently waved off the proffered carrot. “I don’t feel bad for him. He knows you have a boyfriend.” He echoed my words. Then Jamie’s expression turned suspicious. “Are you telling the truth?”
“Yes,” I promised. “He asked me out. I told him I was in love with my boyfriend. Note, however, that he didn’t kiss me. My lips don’t have someone else’s lip print on them.”
Suddenly, Jamie sprung at me, bending into my belly before he threw me over his shoulder. I squealed, dropping my carrot. “Jamie!” The world rushed by upside down as he took the stairs two at a time. My excited laughter filled the halls as he rushed toward his bedroom.
I was promptly thrown onto the queen-sized bed, my giggles swallowed in Jamie’s hungry kisses until they turned to moans. Just like that, our world condensed to just the two of us.
There was a small part of me that heard Skye’s voice in my head as Jamie moved inside me. Perhaps our love was all-consuming. Perhaps it would devour us.
But as Jamie held my gaze in his and murmured how much he loved me over and over, her voice disappeared, along with my worries.
Who cared if it devoured us?
At least we’d die happy.
Chapter 9
JAMIE
Twenty years old
* * *
Around 6.00 a.m. I awoke from a dream I couldn’t shake. It had been like a movie in my head. I was stuck in this apocalyptic world where Jane was missing. I’d been trying to find her and instead kept getting caught up with these strange individuals who had their own problems.
I was spooning Jane, my face buried in her hair as she slept beside me, not making a sound. The only reason I knew she was alive was because of the gentle rise of her body as she breathed. Not wanting to wake her, I eased out of bed and crossed the room to my desk. I wrote on my laptop, pouring the images that had been in my head into what would become a short story. It might work for my sophomore fiction project.
Keep This Promise Page 208
