by HJ Welch
He was probably going to have to accept the L word soon enough, but one step at a time. Tonight, he just had to get through dinner.
Eventually the door reopened. This time there was nothing stopping him hopping eagerly up the front step and slipped his arms possessively around Elion’s waist and back, breathing his scent in deeply.
“I missed you,” he mumbled into his neck. The mics would pick it up, but he didn’t care. Let them.
Elion pulled apart and smiled brightly at him before pecking a kiss to his lips. “I am adorable,” he said.
That was all the greeting he was allowed though before Watson’s demands became too incessant. Elion laughed as he reached down and gave her a cuddle. “Do you want to meet my mom? Do you?”
They untangled themselves from her leash then let her off. She went charging down the corridor, past the rest of the crew, into the room on the left. There was music playing quietly, but as he and Elion got closer, someone turned it off. The sudden silence felt slightly awkward.
The room on the left turned out to be a kitchen/dining room combination, and a middle-aged Latina woman was waiting for them with her hands clasped anxiously around the neck of a beer bottle. She was plump with an angular face and cropped hair immaculately cut and styled. She had nice pants and light-knit buttoned sweater on with boots that Blake guessed normally wouldn’t be worn inside her pristine house.
As soon as she saw Blake walk in, lead hand in hand by Elion, she put down her beer and covered her mouth with her hands. “You must be Blake,” she said once she’d regained her composure and stepped over to greet him. He held out his hand, but she only used that to pull him down into a hug.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Rodriguez,” he said. He wasn’t used to being manhandled into an embrace like that, certainly not by his own mother. It took him by surprise.
“Now, now, none of that,” she said releasing him. She held him by the shoulders and inspected his face. “Call me Luciana, or Lucy’s even better.” She had a slight accent, but not strong. She certainly didn’t seem to struggle with speaking English.
He smiled at her. “Okay,” he said. He could hear the nervousness in his voice.
He’d met Lola’s parents a couple of times, mostly when he’d picked her up for homecoming and prom. But in some ways that felt more forced than this. He’d just been a kid then, trying to impress her dad under some ridiculous social pretext that he was ‘allowing’ Blake to take his ‘baby girl’ out.
He was an adult now, and he just wanted Lucy to like him. Respect him. So this did feel more authentic, despite the camera crew hovering and the P.A.s hastily adding decorations all around the room. They had come armed with brightly colored Mexican pottery pieces, pillar candles and cacti in pots to dress the set. As much as it pissed him off they wanted it to obviously look as ‘ethnic’ as possible, he had to admit it did look stunning under the lights they’d set up.
It also reminded him that one of the girls was holding something for him. “Oh,” he said, searching for what he was looking for. “These are for you.”
He handed over a large bunch of flowers made of so many colors they were practically a rainbow. Blake suspected that might have been Kala’s aim. Lucy’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. “Oh, you didn’t need to…” she began.
Blake shook his head. They may have been the show’s idea, but he’d wanted to bring something nice. “Don’t be silly. Wow, it smells wonderful in here!”
Lucy beamed as she put the flowers in a vase. After that, she couldn’t ignore Watson any long as she ran around her legs. “Who have we got here?” She laughed and crouched to pet her. Blake noticed she kept looking self-consciously into the cameras, but hopefully she would get better once she got used to them.
Elion had never mentioned his dad, although he said once he was an only child. Seth had been pissed, wanting a big Mexican family get together to film. But apparently it was just Elion and his mom. That was fine by Blake; he just hoped Kala wouldn’t probe too much.
As usual since the show had got into its own stride, Seth was elsewhere watching the footage on several monitors. He had a dedicated room at the studio now, but Blake thought he had a van set up on the curb for this location shoot. He’d be talking to Kala in her ear no doubt, egging her on.
Lucy was besotted with Watson, having sat completely on the floor now, tickling her belly. Elion smiled and sidled up to wrap his arm around Blake’s waist. “We could never afford a dog,” he said sadly.
Blake had the sudden rash idea of buying them one, or he and Elion having their own little pup and coming regularly to visit Lucy with her. But that was definitely jumping the gun. Instead of saying anything, he just pulled Elion a bit closer and kissed his temple.
Kala soon herded the two of them into the seats and got Lucy dishing up divine smelling food, chatting to her about the dishes she’d made. One of the P.A.s had already poured them three large glasses of the wine from the crate they had brought with them. Blake didn’t drink it much, but he figured it would be perfect for a nice relaxing dinner. Or, at least it would give him a bit of liquid courage for whatever stunt Seth had in mind, because there was bound to be one.
Blake was soon distracted by the mountain of food that was placed before him. He recognized the enchiladas right away, his mouth watering at the spicy tomato aroma. There was also half-moon shaped crispy things, which turned out to be shredded beef empanadas. Guacamole, beans and rice, several different colored salsas, and of course, lots of cheese.
“This looks incredible, Lucy,” he said. Good manners would have meant he’d have said that regardless, but he did mean it. “Did you really make all this?”
“Absolutely,” she said proudly. “Except for the croquettes.” She pointed towards the bowl of deep fried balls. “Martha’s deli does them way better than I ever could, so why bother to compete?”
Blake laughed and reached to dig in. But he found his hands being grabbed by both Elion and Lucy.
Oh, right. They wanted to say grace. Blake wasn’t sure he was comfortable with that.
Church and religion was always used as a kind of punishment in his house. Something other people used as a yard-stick to measure your worth. He didn’t realize Elion was religious. He’d never mentioned anything before. But he seemed perfectly happy joining in with his mom as they intoned a few words.
Kala loved it. She got Marcus and the other camera guy to zoom in on them with their eyes closed. Blake liked that he was seeing a glimpse further into Elion’s everyday life, but he was still glad when it was over.
Elion and his mom didn’t seem to mind that he hadn’t joined in. Instead they let his hands go with smiles.
“What are you waiting for?” Lucy asked happily. “Dig in!”
24
Blake
Kala sat herself in the fourth seat so she could produce them from off camera while they ate. She tried to decline when Lucy offered her a plate laden with a bit of everything from the feast she’d prepared. But Lucy wouldn’t hear of it.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, putting the food in front of her. “Like we could just sit here and make you watch us eat.”
Kala tried to explain that that was their job. But Lucy wasn’t happy until all the crew had at least taken an empanada each. Watson was very happy chewing on a stick of celery by Elion’s feet. He must have slipped it to her. Blake smiled. The two of them certainly had bonded.
Finally, Lucy settled herself down. Blake had already finished his first enchilada. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he’d started. He felt bad as Lucy made him take another before she had one herself.
“You must burn a lot of calories, with all that dancing you do,” she said, shaking her head. “Gosh, I just love watching you on the show. No wonder Elion fell for you.”
Blake chuckled as Elion threw her a ‘shut up now!’ look. He couldn’t help but feel it was a bit late for that now though. He’d be pretty upset if Elion didn�
��t like him like that.
“How’s your ankle doing?” Elion asked instead, changing the topic.
Blake nodded as he sipped his wine. “Much better, thank you. I should be back to normal next week.”
“Thank God,” said Lucy, scowling. “Nasty business if you ask me. Elion told me about the stalker letters you’ve been getting. Do you think they’re related?”
He hadn’t actually considered that until now. He still firmly suspected it had been the crew creating drama for the show. He didn’t want to say that on camera though. “I’m sure it was just an accident,” he said, dipping a tortilla chip into one of the brown salsas that he assumed was made from beans.
The spice hit the back of his throat and he coughed immediately. Elion and his mom laughed good-naturedly at his suffering. “Sorry, I should have warned you,” said Elion, rubbing his back.
He wanted water, but there was none on the table. Kala passed him his newly topped-up wine instead. In fact, they all had full glasses again. When had that happened?
“So you’re a fan of the show, Mrs. Rodriguez?” she asked.
Lucy nodded. “Oh yes.” Kala prompted her to address Blake directly, so she repeated herself for the camera’s sake. “I wasn’t sure about Elion getting involved at first. But you boys seem to really like each other.”
Elion tensed up beside Blake. Was he worried she might say something bad? Like what?
A cold, nasty thought slipped into his brain. Maybe he didn’t like Blake the way he liked him? What if it was all just an act, to stay on the show? He’d admitted he liked sex for its own sake too. Was there no emotion behind it? He chewed his lip. Surely Elion wouldn’t do that to him, would he?
He wanted to assure Lucy that, yes, they did like each other very much. But doubt held the words hostage in his throat.
“How do you feel about your son being gay, Mrs. Rodriguez?” Kala jumped in instead.
Blake’s eyes went wide, wondering if she’d just opened a can of worms. But Lucy snorted and took another mouthful of red wine. “Poor thing,” she said, taking her son’s hand. “He got himself in a bit of a state when he told me. How old were you, chulo? Fourteen?”
“Thirteen,” said Elion. He’d gone a bit bashful, which was unlike him. Blake leaned over and took his other hand, squeezing it tightly.
Lucy shook her head. “He tells me, like it’s this big thing. ‘Mama,’ he says. ‘I’m gay.’ So I tell him. ‘I know, lindo. You wanna go get ice cream?”
Blake couldn’t help but laugh. There was a lump in his throat which he tried to swallow and he caught Elion’s eye. “That’s pretty cool,” he said. He thought about trying to come out to his own parents, then squashed it down. Tonight wasn’t about them.
“Of course I didn’t really know what that meant; I worried a lot. But then I joined PFLAG.” Her eyes went wide and she grabbed Blake’s wrist. “Do your parents know about PFLAG?” He shook his head, he’d never heard of it. “Oh, it’s this wonderful organization for parents of gay kids and allies and all that.”
“Mom made most of her friends there,” Elion said fondly before taking another bite of his food. Blake had got so wrapped up talking he’d forgotten to keep eating. He took another mouthful of the delicious enchilada so Lucy didn’t think he wasn’t enjoying it.
“I can take your mother,” she said excitedly. Her eyes sparkled the same way Elion’s did when he was happy. “You tell her I’d love to do that.”
Sadly, Blake knew his mom would never be caught dead in a place like that unless it was for a photo op or something. But he thanked Lucy profusely all the same. She chatted on for a while about all the different kinds of people she’d met there. Elion was right, it seemed like it had formed her core social group. Blake thought that was pretty damn amazing.
Her stories allowed him and Elion to eat a fair bit of food. She picked at things, but her wine went down at a quicker rate. The P.A.s never let the glass get more than half-empty though.
Blake tried to slow down to begin with. But he figured, as long as he didn’t get wasted, it couldn’t really do any harm. He was having a nice time after all, and the wine felt good thrumming through his veins.
When he’d had his fill of food, he swapped his glass to his other hand and linked his free one with Elion’s. He rested them on the table so the cameras could see.
“Oh,” said Lucy resting her hand on her chest. “You two do look sweet together.”
Blake smiled, blushing a little thanks to the heat of the lights and the wine.
“Elion,” said Kala. Blake had almost forgotten she was there. “How does your dad feel about you and Blake dating?”
Elion snorted into his glass. “Never met him, never will. Don’t care. He probably wouldn’t even know it was me if he ever watched the show.”
Lucy was shaking her head. “His father never even knew Elion’s name,” she explained to Blake. “Took off the second he knew I was pregnant. Just like the rest of the family.” She leaned over in her chair and squeezed her arm tightly around Elion’s shoulder. “It’s always just been us two.”
Blake felt like he’d been hit with a bucket of water. Lucy’s family had disowned her? All of them? He looked at her again and tried to work out how old she might have been when she had given birth, learning to be a mother. He wondered if she might even have been a teenager.
How utterly unforgivable, to leave her to that by herself. And Elion, did they even know him at all?
If they didn’t that was wholly their loss. “They’re all idiots,” he said a little more forcefully than he meant to. But as far as he was concerned, anyone who shunned Elion wasn’t in their right mind.
Lucy smiled, her eyes bright, and she stood up to hug him from behind. “They are idiots, you’re absolutely right. But it’s fine, we don’t need them. We have each other.”
“And me,” said Blake thickly. He saw Elion’s face mouth drop slightly and his eyebrows raise. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. “And PFLAG,” he added to lighten the mood.
Lucy cheered and lifted her glass. “Here’s to good friends and boyfriends,” she cried as she took her seat again. Blake and Elion copied the toast. Blake couldn’t read Elion’s expression and he didn’t want to ask with the cameras rolling. The best he could do was to take his hand again and rub his thumb across the knuckles.
Elion smiled back at him, allowing his nerves to calm little. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if this wasn’t real for Elion. Be heartbroken, he suspected.
“Blake, Elion,” Kala said.
The cameras shifted around from where they’d got Lucy’s hug. Watson moved to avoid getting stepped on and trotted off to lap at the bowl of water Lucy had put down for her.
“How do you feel about the negative reaction you’ve received?”
Blake shook his head stubbornly, noting that the P.A.s were yet again topping up their glasses. “The positive far outweighs the negative,” he said firmly. He cradled Elion’s hand in both of his. His head was swimming from the alcohol, despite all the food he’d eaten. “There’s no way to make everyone like you,” he continued. “Not everyone’s going to be a fan. And sometimes, people like to spend their time spreading hate rather than investing in things they love.” He shook his head. “I don’t get that, but there’s nothing we can do to change it. We’d just rather focus on the people supporting us and the ones we’re helping.”
He looked at Elion who nodded at him. “That’s right. We get messages all the time from kids who say we’ve helped them come out, or even just accept who they are.” He rolled his eyes. “I mean Blake, not me. He’s the famous one.”
Blake scowled. “I wouldn’t even know this side of myself if it wasn’t for you though,” he said. He held Elion’s gaze. Didn’t he see that? He was more special than any of the famous celebrities he’d ever met in his whole career.
He was going to elaborate, but Kala interrupted from behind the camera. “What about this stalker though? Aren’t you
worried about the threats you’re getting?”
That sobered Blake up faster than a cold shower and a cup of coffee. Seth had told him that he’d had a word with the police, and that the safest course of action would be to not draw attention to it on the show. What the hell was she doing?
His expression must have showed what he was thinking, because she went on to elaborate. “Your mom told us all about it. She showed us the letters and we had someone from the F.B.I. come in and analyze them with us.” As she spoke, she pulled out a sealed envelope. By now, Blake recognized the style of it, the font type and the color and size of the envelope. His breath caught.
“When did you get this?” he asked. He didn’t want to open it on camera, but there was no way he could wait either.
“This morning,” Kala admitted.
Blake flashed her a glare. “And you’re only just giving it to me now?”
Kala jerked her chin forwards. “We thought Elion might want to open it with you. It seems like this concerns him too now.”
They glanced at each other as Blake opened the letter. If the F.B.I. were really involved, there was no way they would let him open this unsupervised without gloves on. So they’d probably just got some college professor in to act the part with his mom. Or, hell, even just an actor full stop. That didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous though.
The last time he’d been tricked into having the letters on him when Elion asked about them. Now, they were opening this one together. Blake couldn’t even vet it first. Even worse, Lucy was right there watching, too.
Blake willed it to just be about him. He didn’t care how disturbing or vile it was. He just didn’t want it to involve Elion.
The universe wasn’t that considerate though.
Why do you do this to me, Blake? the familiar mismatch of cut out letters read.
We could be so happy, I could give you everything.
It’s him or me. Don’t make me chose for you. This doesn’t have to get ugly.
“What does that mean?” Lucy stammered in alarm. She got to her feet, pointing at the note.
