by HJ Welch
Trent smiled and shook his head. “Not about that,” he said. “About you.”
Ashby blinked, even more confused. “Why would I make you nervous? I mean, I know this visa thing is being more of an arse than I thought it would be, but I’ll almost certainly be here when you get back.” Ashby hoped. Oh, god, did he hope.
Trent licked his lips. “You know I love you, so much,” he said.
Despite all the progress he had made, fear still shot through Ashby’s chest. Trent was not breaking up with him. He needed to relax. Even if there was an ocean between them, they would still find a way to be together. “I love you, too,” he said, taking Trent’s bigger hand between his two.
Trent bit his lip. “I think about our future a lot,” Trent said. “I…I’d like to do something to make it more certain. But only if you want. It’s, well, I guess it’s something I’d want to do at some point, so I figured why not now?” He lifted Ashby’s hand, kissing the knuckle. “I don’t want you to have any doubts about us,” he said warmly.
Ashby’s heart was skipping in his chest. “I don’t have any doubts,” he said, impressed that he managed to keep his voice steady. But it was the truth. After three months together, he couldn’t imagine his life without Trent.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Trent said. He exhaled in what sounded like relief and smiled.
Then he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a ring box.
Ashby couldn’t help it. He’d always sworn he wouldn’t be one of those people who gasped and covered their mouths, with tears in their eyes. But until someone asked you to marry them, he realized you never really knew.
“I know,” Trent continued, “that this is soon. I’m not saying we have to act on it for a while. But…well, visas are much easier if you’re engaged.”
He opened the box to reveal an elegant platinum band inside.
Ashby blinked, fighting to say something as he lowered his hands. “You’re proposing to get me a green card?” he asked, only half-teasing.
Trent shook his head. “I’m proposing because I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with you. I know you’re the one, Ashby Wilcott. You made me whole. You’re my one in a million. If it will help you stay in the country, I want to do it now. Because I’m crazy about you, gorgeous. I don’t want anything to come between us.” He bit his lip. “But if it’s too soon, I understand.”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Ashby said, flinging his arms around his fiancé. “Oh my god, I love you so much. Yes, yes!”
Trent hugged him close, shaking. “I love you too,” he said as Guinevere scampered around their feet, barking happily.
Trent made Ashby whole, too, he knew it. He’d lifted him up and helped him become the best possible version of who he could be. Yes, it was soon. But that was because it was just the beginning. They were on this journey into the unknown, growing every day, becoming stronger. Why wait when Ashby knew he only wanted to continue on this journey one way?
Together.
“Once Upon a Time”
A Homecoming Hearts Short Story
Once Upon a Time
Joey bit his lip as he switched lanes on I-95. Traffic wasn’t terrible, but this was his first commute back from work since he’d started filming the new season of Beat It. He was suddenly wishing he could click his heels like Dorothy and get home in an instant.
The drive wasn’t all that bad, especially when there hadn’t been any accidents. But Joey’s anxiety was clawing up his throat. He couldn’t be late, not today.
Today set a precedent. He had to be back on time, so the days he couldn’t avoid being late wouldn’t seem so bad.
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and turned his Spotify playlist up, but he couldn’t concentrate on singing along to the track like he usually would to pass the miles. The words just slipped through his brain like water.
As he slowed the car to a stop yet again, he made himself take a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He was fine, he still had time. Besides, Gabe was at home already.
His work had been more flexible about paternity leave.
God, even just thinking the word made Joey’s stomach flip. It wasn’t like it had come as a surprise in the end. They had fought and worked so hard to get where they were today. But still, it didn’t seem real.
Joey was a dad.
He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to swallow down the nervous lump in his throat and blink back the tears that sprung in his eyes. He was so filled with doubt it was crippling. How could he be a dad? He could barely look after himself.
But then Gabe’s strong, soothing voice materialized inside his mind. “You just do the best you can,” he’d told him over and over. “You’re so full of love and kindness. We’ll work it out. Together.”
Joey took another breath as the traffic started moving again and reminded him of the promise he’d made himself when they’d committed to this process. The only thing he had to do, the one and only thing, was to be a better father than his own. And since his dad had been a homophobic and abusive alcoholic, the bar really wasn’t that high.
It was good Joey was terrified. That meant he cared. He couldn’t stop thinking about what they had to get at their weekly grocery trips and what supplies they had to make sure they never ran out of. He’d watched a zillion YouTube videos on how to change diapers and what the hell to do with a time-out and what games to play to best stimulate little minds. He and Gabe must have found all the parenting books at the library and checked them out one after the other, taking notes on sleeping patterns and teething. Their drawers and closets were overflowing with tiny clothes that had been gifted by friends and family, and the spare room had finally been decluttered and freshly decorated.
Yet…Joey still felt underprepared. The first few days had been an exhausting, confusing blur as everyone recovered from the flight back from China. Joey wished he’d had a couple more weeks before he’d had to go back to work. But the show had accommodated his shooting schedule as best they could around his newfound parenthood. Besides, this was the start of a new life, not anything temporary. It made sense to get back into a routine as soon as possible.
Finally he turned off the interstate, heading back toward Connecticut. Not long now.
“Daddy’s nearly home,” he murmured to himself, making him believe the words were real. He was Daddy now.
And he was going to make it home for bedtime.
As soon as Joey stepped through the front door, the wailing hit him like a brick wall. His stomach dropped as he shrugged off his coat and kicked away his shoes, careful not to step on any of the toys that had spilled out into the hall.
“I’m home!” he called as he petted the head of their dog Max. The poor thing seemed pretty distressed as to what was going on. Joey stuck his head in the living room, but there was no one there. The crying seemed to be coming from everywhere.
“Up here!” Gabe’s strained voice traveled down the stairs. Joey took them two at a time.
His heart swelled at the sight of his husband with the chubby baby in his arms. Gabe was pacing what used to be their cluttered spare room. Now it contained a crib and a small bed, the walls painted light green with decals of dinosaurs, fire trucks and ballerinas. The room was dark, the only illumination coming from a night-light projector in the corner which shone slowly spinning multicolored stars onto the ceiling. A lullaby played softly as the stars gently twirled.
Gabe was pacing back and forth with nine-month-old Hai bawling in his arms. In the small bed sat his sister, four-year-old Jia Li, with all the covers pulled up around her little frame. She was in her new unicorn pajamas with a storybook about a bunny rabbit open beside her, but she was looking wide-eyed at her crying brother.
“I don’t know what to do,” Gabe said, his voice croaky. “I’ve fed him and bathed him and changed him and rocked him, and he just won’t stop.”
Joey immediately walked over and wrapped them in his arms. Even though Ga
be was the bigger of them both, he still leaned into the embrace with ease, resting his temple on top of Joey’s hair and sighing. Baby Hai sobbed and squirmed between them, but at Joey’s presence, he turned and pawed at his new daddy’s face, calming a little. Even if it was only from confusion at the appearance of another person, it was at least a little respite for them all.
“It’s okay,” Joey said in a soothing voice. He drew up every last bit of confidence he had. He didn’t have to get this right. He just had to be kind. “It’s all right, baby boy, shh.”
Hai hiccuped and sniffled.
Jia Li said something in her native Mandarin. The orphanage where she had been living had done their best to teach her some English as well, but she was so timid she hardly spoke at all. They only had a limited family background on the siblings, but Joey knew enough to appreciate Jia Li was fiercely protective over her little brother.
“Why don’t you walk with Hai a bit,” Joey said to Gabe, rubbing his back. “I’ll do story time with Jia Li. Has she brushed her teeth?”
Gabe leaned down and kissed Joey’s cheek gently. “She’s all ready for bed,” he said, the relief clear in his voice. “I didn’t want her to feel ignored, but Hai-”
“It’s fine,” Joey insisted. Hai was already crying less. “Go walk with him a bit. Or maybe rock him in the stroller?”
Gabe’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah. He likes that.”
Joey watched the two of them head out the door, Gabe bouncing Hai in his arms. “I’m not scared of you, baby boy,” Joey heard him murmur fondly as they slowly walked down the stairs. “You cry all you like. Papa’s not going anywhere.”
Joey smiled, then turned back to Jia Li, who was sitting patiently in her bed. She looked so small, but there was something resilient about the way she looked back up at Joey. She was a tough little cookie, Joey knew already.
“Hey, princess,” he said cheerfully, sitting down beside her. “How’s Daddy’s favorite girl?”
Jia Li chewed her lip and looked at Joey with a frown. “Daddy?” she said, as if she was trying the word on for size.
Joey nodded and pointed to himself. “Daddy,” he repeated.
They had also read up as much as they could on how best to teach her English. Down the line, they planned on all taking Mandarin lessons, too. It was very important to Gabe and Joey that the kids didn’t lose touch with their heritage. But for now, they were focusing on making sure Jia Li learned enough words to start communicating her needs as soon as possible.
She frowned and pulled at the comforter, her brown eyes narrowing as she looked around the dark bedroom and frowned deeper. “Daddy…gone,” she said after a moment’s thought.
Joey’s heart sank. “I know, hon,” he said sadly. But then he smiled. She had to get used to this idea. “But Daddy came back. Daddy will always come back.”
Jia Li pulled at her long hair, tied back in a braid to keep it from knotting overnight. “Daddy back,” she repeated. “Daddy home.”
Joey nodded. “Yes, that’s it. Daddy home to say ‘night night’!”
He watched her think that over. Then, in a blur, she launched herself at him, hugging him surprisingly tightly for a child. “Daddy home!” she said with more conviction.
Joey smiled, a lump in his throat that came from a mixture of pride, happiness and disbelief. “Can Daddy have a big hug?” he asked.
She let go of his waist and nodded, opening her arms for him. He carefully picked her up and stood, resting her on his hip with her small legs wrapped around his waist. She snuggled against his chest, sucking her thumb.
Joey kissed the top of her hair and walked over to the framed photos they had already mounted on the wall. Downstairs, Hai’s cries had become grumbles.
“Who’s that?” Joey asked.
He pointed to the first photo they had received of the siblings from the adoption agency that was now framed on the wall. He would never forget the moment he had laid eyes on the two tiny people he and Gabe were being trusted to invite into their lives, to care for forever more. Jia Li was sitting on a wall with Hai protectively wrapped in her arms as she grinned at the camera.
“Jia Li!” she cried happily around her thumb, looking at Joey for praise.
“That’s right,” he said proudly. “Jia Li is happy, isn’t she?” She nodded with such enthusiasm it jolted her whole body. Joey shifted his grip, making sure she was held tightly against him. “And who’s that?”
“Hai!” said Jia Li, taking her thumb out and smacking Joey’s chest lightly with her damp hand.
“Yes, well done,” he said warmly to her with another kiss on the head.
He didn’t have many fond memories from his own childhood. Right from the moment he’d been able to walk and talk, his dad had made it pretty clear he was not the favorite son. But he remembered his mom’s hugs and the way she used to whisper to him that he was brave and smart and talented. He never wanted his kids to feel touch-starved. He always wanted them to know they were loved down to their very bones.
“Who’s that?” he asked, moving to another photo. It was Joey’s favorite one of him and Gabe, from their first Christmas together. Gabe’s friend Mitch had snapped a candid shot while they’d snuggled in their ugliest Christmas sweaters, oblivious to the rest of the world around them.
Jia Li looked between the photo and Joey. “Daddy,” she said after a moment.
He jiggled her and grinned. “Yeah! You got it! And who’s that?” She frowned as he pointed at Gabe, then glanced downstairs, unsure. “Is it Papa?” Joey asked.
She raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Papa,” she repeated happily.
Joey wandered out into the hallway where just a lamp was on, so the light wasn’t too bright. They could still make out the other framed pictures on the walls, though. “Look,” Joey said, tapping on the glass. “That’s Grandma and Grandpa Robinson.”
“Robison,” Jia Li repeated uncertainly around her thumb. She hadn’t met them yet, but they were traveling up from Florida next week, beyond excited to meet their grandchildren.
“And Grandma Sully,” Joey said, pointing to a lovely photo of his mom. It was funny, but she looked so much younger now she’d divorced his dad and moved away from him. Technically, his dad had moved away with Joey’s brother, sister-in-law and their son, leaving Joey and his mom in peace in Connecticut. Good riddance. Needless to say, there were no photos of them on their montage wall.
Jia Li kicked her legs and excitedly pointed down. “Duchy! Duchy!” she said, bouncing around as the cat wound her way around Joey’s legs.
Duchess wasn’t the friendliest of cats until you got to know her, but for some reason she had warmed to Jia Li immediately, allowing her to pet her head and stroke her tail. Jia Li was more wary of their big golden retriever, Max. He was undoubtedly by Gabe and Hai’s side, wagging his big tail. It was funny how each pet had picked a child to watch over.
Joey moved down the hall to some more photos. Jia Li picked out the one from his and Gabe’s wedding day impressively fast. She was a smart kid, he could tell. There were a few pictures of Gabe’s friends – now both their friends – from around town, as well as a cast photo from Beat It’s wrap party last year. But Joey went to a collection at the end of the hallway.
“Jia Li, look. Here are your uncles. These are Daddy’s best friends in the whole world. They can’t wait to meet you.” He tapped at the glass to get her attention. She sucked her thumb and looked at the various frames. “There’s Reyse, Blake and Elion, Raiden and Levi, and TJ and Ashby. Look, isn’t Ashby pretty?”
Like a lot of little kids, Jia Li was naturally drawn to shiny, pink and sparkly things. So Ashby’s makeup in the photo made a change from the rest of the guys and caught her eye. “Pretty,” she mumbled happily around her thumb.
She was getting heavier, so Joey slowly walked back into their bedroom. Once the kids were settled and Hai was a bit older, they’d already decided they needed to think about moving to a bigger place o
r getting an extension. But, for now, Jia Li was happy to share with her brother.
“Once upon a time,” Joey murmured, taking her back to the photos of him and Gabe and her and Hai, “there was a little princess and her brother, the prince. They lived in a faraway land. But when two kings heard the prince and princess needed a new home, they flew all across the world to find them. They battled the dragons at the adoption agency and bargained with the knights at the kingdom borders.”
He crossed the room and placed her gently back on her bed, lifting the rabbit book out of the way so she could snuggle under the covers. Then he sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her small shoulders.
“After a long time, the kings were victorious. They brought the prince and the princess back to their castle where they would live happily ever after. The end.”
Jia Li looked up at him with sleepy eyes. “The end,” she repeated. He wasn’t sure how much of the story she followed, but he would keep telling it to her every night until she understood it all.
He slipped off the bed to kneel beside it, encouraging Jia Li to lie down. She watched him, her eyes slowly blinking as she sucked her thumb.
“Who loves Jia Li?” Joey asked, stroking her hair back.
“Hai,” she said, taking her thumb out and rubbing her face.
“That’s right. Who else?” Joey asked. “Does Papa love Jia Li?”
She nodded. “Papa,” she murmured, her eyes closing and opening.
“Who else?” Joey asked, pointing at his chest.
She smiled and reached out with a fumbling hand. “Daddy,” she said into her pillow, her eyes almost totally closed now. “Daddy loves Jia Li and Hai and Papa.”
He smiled and kissed her cheek, a lump rising in his throat. “He loves you all so much, princess,” he promised.
He stayed for a while, watching on as her breathing evened out and she fell into a deep sleep, safe and secure in her new home.
