by HJ Welch
At the sight of Reyse, she gave a short, sharp scream and dropped her armful of notes in a flurry of paper, clasping her hands over her mouth.
“I – I’m sorry,” she stammered, clutching her trembling fingers in front of her chest. “Oh, I, you’re Reyse Hickson, aren’t you? Of course you are. Oh my god, how embarrassing. Don’t – uh – is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Hickson?”
As fan encounters went, it was a very sweet, innocent one. The nurse was wide-eyed, clearly embarrassed and now attempting to put on a professional air amid the paper still slowly floating to the floor. The trouble was, now everyone in the corridor was looking their way, pointing and whispering as they realized who exactly they were looking at.
Reyse glanced at his family. His mom just looked stunned, but Dave rolled his eyes. “No, thank you, miss,” Dave said in a tired voice. “We know the way. I’ve been coming here all week. Thank you kindly.”
Awkwardly, Reyse maneuvered out of the paper explosion, careful not to tread on any of the poor woman’s notes. She was obviously rushed off her feet. “Can I help you put those back together?” Reyse asked.
“Son, we’re on a schedule here,” Dave said firmly.
“Oh, no,” said the nurse, blushing. “I’m fine, honestly. I’m just a butterfingers.” She laughed and crouched down to start reassembling her pile. “You have a good day now.”
“You too,” Reyse said.
Although people openly stared as he followed his mom and uncle down the last couple of hallways, thankfully nobody else approached him. He wouldn’t have been surprised if someone had stopped him for an autograph – it had happened in the strangest of places before – but the universe took pity on him and he was able to reach his dad’s room without incident. Good thing. Dave was obviously pissed enough as it was that Reyse’s fame had slowed them down.
Dave knocked on the door but didn’t wait before marching inside. Reyse let his mom go on ahead of him, then he followed last. He closed the door behind him, then took a deep breath as he turned around.
There was no hospital staff in with them, so it was just him, his parents and Dave.
The first thing that Reyse couldn’t help but notice was the assault of the Rams’ white, gold and navy blue on his eyes. There were scarves and foam fingers and team jerseys propped up and draped over everything in the sparse, private room. Even the vase of gladioli – his mom’s all-time favorite flowers – that were perched on the nightstand were a mixture of white, yellow and sky blue. Not quite the right color blend, but close enough Reyse could tell she had tried.
Dangling from the lampshade next to the vase were his dad’s dog tags. It was a jolt to Reyse’s heart to see them not around his dad’s neck. Reyse couldn’t think of a time he had ever witnessed his dad without them.
All around the bed were beeping monitors. His dad had an IV in each arm, a blood pressure cuff on one bicep and a finger clip on the index finger of the opposite arm for his oxygen levels. He was pale and looked so much smaller than Reyse remembered. He watched his dad reach his diminished arms out for his mom as she approached. It didn’t feel like he’d even noticed Reyse enter the room.
“Clementine,” his dad said, his voice hoarse. Reyse’s mom was tearful as she gently leaned over the side of the bed and hugged him.
“Oh, Donny,” she said, sobs making her chest shudder as she tried to keep her composure. “You scared me!”
“I know, honey. I’m sorry,” Reyse’s dad said, petting her hair and hugging her close. “It’s okay, I promise. Shh, there now.”
A lump rose in Reyse’s throat. His mom had clearly been keeping a lot inside. He wondered if he should have insisted they come to the hospital earlier. Maybe she would have been less anxious with Reyse sitting next to her. Had Reyse let his fears over seeing his dad get in the way of his mom’s being here when his dad came around?
Reyse clenched his fists briefly then let them go. No. He hadn’t got so far in life by second-guessing every little thing. He’d gotten on the first plane he could and looked after his mom as best he knew how. They were here now. That was all that mattered.
“You son of a bitch,” Dave said loudly, breaking the moment by clapping Reyse’s dad loudly on the arm. By the way his dad winced, Reyse wondered if he was up for getting slapped like that just yet. Dave didn’t seem to notice, though, as he stood between Reyse and his dad with his arms folded. Now Reyse couldn’t see either of his parents as they presumably looked over at Dave. “I knew you were just messing us around, you old dog. I told you you needed to start taking it easy.” He shook his head. “Will you listen to your big brother now, huh?”
“Sure, Dave,” Reyse’s dad said. He sounded tired.
Reyse cleared his throat. He couldn’t put this off any longer, so he stepped out from behind his uncle’s bulk. “Hi, Dad,” he said in a small voice, his hands in his pockets. He looked up through his lashes and felt his lips tweak in half a smile. His heart was racing like he was about to step on stage at Madison Square Garden. But at least there he knew what he was doing. This was all uncharted territory. “It – it’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re okay.”
Dave scoffed. “He’s had a stroke, son. He’s hardly ‘okay.’”
Reyse ignored him as he and his dad locked gazes. His dad’s eyes had more lines around them than Reyse remembered, but they were sharp as ever.
“Reyse,” he said, like he couldn’t quite believe it. He then looked at Reyse’s mom. “You called him?” There was a touch of accusation to the question that made Reyse’s blood run cold.
“I didn’t know what to do,” his mom said, looking conflicted as she wrung her hands.
“I wanted to come, Dad,” Reyse said firmly. He took a step forward. “I should have come home sooner. I’m sorry.”
He swallowed, the words leaving his throat dry and his skin hot and prickly. He held his breath.
His dad looked away, taking his mom’s hands and gazing at their entwined fingers. “I-” he said, then pursed his lips together. “Okay.”
Okay? Was that it? Reyse stood for a moment, not sure what to do. But his dad just kept looking at his mom’s hands in his. Reyse could feel Dave’s weighted gaze on him. His mom looked between him and his dad, her eyes wide as she bit her lip.
“Uh…” Reyse scrambled around for something to say. “Do you, uh, need anything? Water or, um, a nurse?”
A smile twitched at his dad’s mouth, but it didn’t meet his eyes. From what Reyse could see of his profile, he looked sad.
“I’m fine,” he said. Then he looked up and smiled for real at Reyse’s mom. “I’m so glad you’re here, petal. I feel like hell,” he added with a chuckle.
“I should have been here, waiting,” Reyse’s mom fretted.
But, to his credit, Reyse’s dad shook his head. “Naw, none of that. I’ve just been sleeping.” Reyse felt Dave bristle. Reyse was sure Dave felt strongly that his mom should definitely have been here. “But you’re a sight for sore eyes now, I can tell you.”
Without warning, Dave’s heavy hand dropped onto Reyse’s shoulder. “Come on, son. Let’s give them some space, huh?”
Reyse frowned. No. He wanted to stay here and try and talk with his dad. But…he did look incredibly weak and tired with purple shadows under his eyes and his usually tan skin so pale. Maybe Reyse shouldn’t be putting any extra pressure on him right now.
The childish side of him wanted to cry or stamp his foot. This was his dad. He knew they’d never played catch in the yard with a pigskin or talked about girls or any of the other things he knew his dad really wanted in a son. But they were still blood. Reyse didn’t want to be dismissed.
His dad nodded, though. He didn’t look at Reyse, just glanced at somewhere around Reyse’s feet for a second before looking back at his and his mom’s linked hands. “I’ll see you later, Reyse,” he said in a croaky voice, then cleared his throat. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to speak again. But then he closed it on
ce more, his shoulders slumped.
“Sure,” Reyse stammered. “I’m here for a few days. I’ll come back and see you whenever you want. I…it’s nice to see you.”
He watched as his dad gave a single nod, but that was all the response that followed.
“Reyse,” his mom began.
“It’s okay,” he told her with a tiny smile he didn’t feel.
Feeling defeated, Reyse turned and walked toward the door before Dave could rest a hand on his shoulders. Out in the corridor, he stopped only long enough for Dave to shut the door behind him.
“I’ll get a cab,” Reyse said. He’d already vetted a private company that passed his team’s security criteria. He could have a car within ten minutes from anywhere in town. “I don’t want to intrude.”
Dave sighed. “That’s probably for the best, son,” he said.
Reyse gritted his teeth. For the umpteenth time, he wanted to apologize to his dad. He had obviously been given the wrong child in this life. But the door was closed now and Dave was standing in front of it, like a bodyguard.
“I’ll see you and Mom back at the house,” Reyse bit out. Then he turned on his heels and walked out of the hospital, not looking up to see if anyone was paying attention to him.
The need to get back and see Corey was all that consumed him. He just wanted to feel someone’s arms around him.
To feel loved, even though he knew Corey didn’t…couldn’t love him.
For now, Reyse just needed to pretend.
18
Corey
After his altercation with Dave, Corey’s first instinct was to march out the front door, start walking, and just keep on walking. But when he opened it, he came face-to-face with a brown-haired man with a sweater tied around his shoulders. His hand was raised as if he was about to press the doorbell.
“Hello?” he said in an accusatory tone. Corey translated that into ‘who the hell are you?’
Corey mustered up his best bullshit smile and did his utmost not to tarnish the Hickson family name. “Hey, there,” he said cheerfully. “How can I help you?” Hopefully this guy was just selling something and Corey could send him on his way.
But Sweater Dude clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his feet, smiling tightly back at Corey. “I was just calling on Tina. Checking if there was anything she needed?” He shook his head as if he was deeply concerned, but Corey got a weird vibe from him.
“Tina?” he asked, confused.
The guy raised his eyebrows. “Yes, Tina. You’re standing in her house.”
“Oh, Clementine,” Corey said, choosing to ignore the barb about being in Reyse’s mom’s house. Like this guy had caught Corey robbing the damn place or something. “She’s not here, I’m afraid.”
Sweater Dude frowned. “Well, where is she?”
Corey amped up his smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. I can tell her you’ve called, if you like?”
“Jeremy,” the guy said, narrowing his eyes. “One of her neighbors. I said I was going to swing by. I expected her to be in.”
Wow. Creepy much?
Corey shrugged. “Reyse’s dad woke up, so he took his mom to the hospital to see him.” Corey flicked his eyebrows up and grinned. “You did know Clementine’s married, right?”
Jeremy the Creep bristled. “Of course I did. I’m married, so I’m not quite sure what you’re implying.”
Yeah, right. Corey could detect his interest a mile off. Sleazeball.
“Nothing, man. I don’t know anyone here, so just keeping the facts straight.”
Jeremy sniffed. “So, you work for Tina?” he asked in an entitled tone.
Corey was tempted to tell him it was none of his damn business, but he burned to tell the truth. He wanted to be validated for once in his life. “Actually, I’m a friend of Reyse’s,” he said with a smile. “Just helping out while things are a bit tricky with Donny’s recovery.”
“Oh, yes,” Jeremy said slowly. “Reyse. Her son from the band.”
“I think he’s won a few Grammys by himself since then,” Corey told Jeremy cheerfully.
No disrespect against Below Zero, but Reyse had achieved so much over the last four years on his own. This guy Jeremy evidently thought about as much of Reyse as his old man did. Jesus, what was it with people around here not thinking Reyse was anything to shout about? He was one of the biggest pop stars around for fuck’s sake! Was it jealousy, or did they really not think what he’d achieved was all that impressive?
Corey was aware he was biased on the matter. Before he probably would have admitted that Reyse had done well for himself. But now…now that he knew all the fears and doubts that lay behind those beautiful blue eyes? It made him want to defend Reyse Hickson until he ran out of breath.
Perhaps he was so possessive because he knew he couldn’t keep him. But whenever this thing between them was over, Corey knew he would never stop fighting Reyse’s corner, wherever he was in the world.
Jeremy stepped back and looked Corey up and down with a critical eye. “A friend from high school?” he asked.
Corey’s cheer vanished. He didn’t like the suspicious hint to his words. “Just…a friend,” he said flippantly. “Like you and Clementine.” Let him make of that what he will. He smiled and pushed the door shut. “I’ll be sure and tell her you called. Catch you later!”
Jeremy opened his mouth, but Corey had already closed the door.
He took a deep breath. Damn. There went his escape route. He just wanted to get out of the house for a while and away from Dave’s shitty words. Now Jeremy had come along and also made him feel like crap. Corey didn’t like the assumption he was a member of the staff, but he liked the last look Jeremy had given him even less.
It would take a wild leap for anyone to connect the dots and guess that he and Reyse were intimately involved. That Reyse wasn’t straight. But some people were damned shrewd. Corey chewed his lip. Great, that was another thing to worry about. The shittiest thing he could possibly imagine doing would be to accidentally out Reyse as being gay.
Corey balled up his fists and let out a frustrated snarl. Fuck Reyse’s family and his label. It was unbelievable that an international superstar could be treated with such contempt by so many people that should have had his back. Why did Corey feel like he was the only goddamned person on his side?
There was the rest of Below Zero, too, he reminded himself as he began stalking through the house. When Reyse talked about them it warmed Corey’s heart. It was as if they were his biological brothers. Corey let a little of his tension go as he assured himself that whenever he and Reyse had to part ways, his brothers would be there for him.
If Reyse let them.
God. It broke Corey’s heart to think about, but before he went, he was going to have to try and convince Reyse to let them in more. He needed people to love him and be close to him. If he couldn’t even officially come out to the guys he considered family – all gay or bi themselves – then he was doomed for a very lonely life.
Corey tried not to even entertain the notion that he wanted to be the one to look after Reyse. To hold him at night and remind him that not only he was a living fucking legend, but also a good, sweet, beautiful person. Why couldn’t Corey be the one to make him laugh? To chase away his demons? To kiss him until all his troubles melted away?
He knew why.
Life had never been particularly fair on Corey. He’d trained himself not to rage at the universe. Shaking his fist at the sky wasn’t going to bring back his parents or get him adopted, so it wasn’t going to deliver him Reyse Hickson either. He needed to honor the agreement from last night and take what he could get, here and now.
That was, if Reyse even wanted him around anymore. Now his dad was awake, maybe he wouldn’t need Corey. They might have already made up. Or, if there was still no hope of a reconciliation, Reyse might want to pack his bags and head back to LA
The thought made Corey’s stomach twist. He wasn’t r
eady to let Reyse go yet. Just a few more days – would that be too much to ask?
He hardly realized he had stomped downstairs and out onto the patio until he reached for his sunglasses that were dangling around his collar. He took a deep breath of warm air and tried to figure out what he wanted to do. This house was suffocating him.
“Darling?” a voice rang out over the yard. Corey squinted through the dark lenses and saw Evangeline stretched out on a deckchair, sunning herself by the pool. “Whatever is the matter?” she called out.
Corey sighed and jogged down the steps to her level, walking over to where she was resting. The swimsuit and kimono combo was back, complete with enormous sunhat. She sipped what looked like a long island iced tea from a tall glass and a candy-striped paper straw, arching her eyebrow as Corey approached. Foofy was settled under the deckchair in the shade, asleep on her back with her four paws in the air and the end of her long-haired tail dipped into her water bowl.
“Hi, Evangeline,” Corey said heavily. He offered her a rueful smile as he came to a halt, careful not to cast his shadow over her.
“What is this?” she asked with a frown. “Why are you all gloomy? I thought everyone would be all singing and dancing now that Donny is awake again.”
Corey couldn’t help but sigh once more. “I don’t belong here,” he said matter-of-factly.
Evangeline tutted. “Well of course, darling,” she said. “No one belongs here. It’s all lovely make-believe.” She twirled her hand and smiled like a beauty queen. “This is the kind of place where people settle down to convince themselves they have wonderful, shiny lives with nothing dark lurking in the closets. Some people genuinely like a simple, polished life. That’s fine. But a community like this…?” She shook her head. “It’s not really a community. It has no history. People don’t stick their necks out for one another. So you don’t belong? Good. I’d be disappointed in you if you did.”
She plucked up her fan to open with a snap and observed Corey as she sipped on her drink once more. Corey chewed on his lip, then sat on the edge of her deckchair without stopping to consider what he was doing.
