by Heller, JB
My shoulders slump. What a night.
Lee scoots back up to my end of the couch and wraps me in his arms again. “I’m still calling tonight a success,” he murmurs in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
I place a hand on his chest, pushing him away just enough to be able to look him in the face. He’s smiling, and I slowly mirror it. “Seriously? Tonight was”—I shake my head—“not great.”
Again, he drops his forehead to mine, stares into my eyes, and lets me see everything he’s feeling. “It was perfect.”
I would like to stay longer and just hold Tilly, but she looks exhausted, so I do the gentlemanly thing. I bow out for the night. “I’m going to go so you can hit the hay. But I want to do this again—soon.”
“Okay,” she agrees.
She walks me to the door where I stop her. “You don’t need to see me out, babe. I’m a big boy. Just like Sailor.” I wink and she chuckles. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” I press a light kiss to her temple and stroll down the paved pathway to my car, admiring the garden beds that line the path as I go.
I turn back when I reach the car; she’s standing in the doorway, watching me. I lift a hand, wave, then press two fingers to my lips and throw her the kiss. She smiles then closes the door.
Driving back to my mother’s house, I make the decision I’ve been mulling over since I saw Till in the grocery store last week. I’m moving back. It’s our time. I feel it in my bones—and not just the one in my pants.
I want forever with her. And I can’t expect her to believe that until my place here is permanent.
As soon as I’m back in my childhood bedroom, I pull out my laptop and draft a letter, laying it out to my current employer. I’m an architect, and a damn good one. I can do my job from anywhere. The firm I contract to can employ me from afar, or I’ll go out on my own. Either way is fine with me.
I email the letter then close down my laptop with a sense of rightness I haven’t felt since Tilly and I were planning our future together six years ago.
She said she doesn’t regret being with Curt, and I get that. She wouldn’t have those amazing kids if not for him, even if he is an asshat. And if I’m being completely honest with myself, the time apart was probably good for us.
But now it’s time to pick back up where we left off and build our future together.
It’s been more than a week since the first night Lee came to have dinner with us. He’s come every night since, and it’s been amazing. I had forgotten how much just having another adult in the house eases the pressure.
Each night has ended with one of his mind-blowing kisses. But nothing more. It’s driving me a little crazy. I’ve never been this sexually frustrated. I went without sex for two years—it didn’t faze me at all. Now, it’s all I can think about. I swear he’s doing it on purpose. Like right now ...
He stands at my kitchen sink in a pair of low-slung jeans, a fitted black tee, and a backwards baseball cap, peeling potatoes with Ari sitting on the bench, acting as his little assistant. She adores him, and the warmth that fills his gaze every time his eyes are on her shows me the feeling is mutual.
My ovaries practically dance at the sight before me. Down, girls!
“I can feel your eyes on me, babe,” Lee says, glancing at me over his shoulder.
I shrug and sip my wine. “Guilty as charged. And I’m not ashamed.”
He chuckles and turns back to his peeling as Ari hands him a new potato.
A dreamy sigh escapes me; I could get used to this.
Sailor saunters in, hands in his pockets and Pickles on his heels. “What’s for dinner, Mummy?”
“I don’t know, sweet pea. Chef Lee is making dinner tonight.”
His little nose scrunches. “Lee’s a chef?”
“Tonight, he is.” I grin at Sailor’s adorable frown.
“Can he even cook?”
Lee smiles at Sailor and winks. “How about you help me? That way you can make sure I’m doing it all right?”
“Okay!” Sailor agrees quickly. “Mummy, I need my apron. Lee’s going to need my help.”
I stifle my chuckle and get a little apron out of the drawer by my hip and slip it over Sailor’s head.
“Hey, watch the hair,” he chastises, lifting his hand to fix the bit I just messed up.
Lee steps in to distract him from his hair disaster. “I need a pot for the potatoes to go in. Can you organize that for me, bud?”
Sailor nods. “I’m on it.”
Lee scoops Ari off the bench and onto his hip, turns to the fridge, and gets out the bottle of wine. “Right, time for you to go have some girl-time with Astrid. She’s got a movie lined up and her nail polishes at the ready,” Lee instructs me, refilling my wine.
“What?” I ask. “When did you have time to sort that out?”
He smirks. “I am a man of many talents,” he says as he slides a hand around my lower back and leads me out of the kitchen. “Now, sit and enjoy being pampered.”
“Yeah, Mummy, I’m going to pamper you. I’m going to paint your nails and do your hair all pretty and your makeup while we watch Frozen,” Astrid says, excitedly clapping her hands and bouncing on her toes.
I glance at Lee with panic in my eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s just unleashed. A six-year-old with makeup is never a good thing. Lee presses his lips to my temple in a soft kiss then murmurs, “Just relax. She could make you look like Chucky and I’d still love you.”
His words rock me to the core. He’d still love me? We haven’t said those words to each other in years. I blink a bajillion times, trying to keep my tears at bay. “Okay,” I whisper then shift my focus to my wine. “I’m going to need more wine to get through this ...”
“I got you covered, babe.” Lee chuckles, presses one more delicate kiss to the top of my head, then returns to the kitchen.
An hour later, Sailor waltzes into the lounge as Astrid and I sing along to “Fixer Upper” at the top of our lungs, and screams. I turn to him, my eyes wide and searching for what’s upset him when it becomes clear he’s staring at me. His little face is pale, his brows are scrunched right up, and he’s shaking his head.
“What’s wrong?” I ask at the same time that Lee comes skidding around the corner, Ari on his hip.
Sailor turns angry eyes at Astrid then stomps over to the coffee table where she has splayed out all her makeup. He snatches it up, stuffs it all back in her little beauty case, then takes off running. We all follow, entering the kitchen just as he shoves it in the bin.
“Sailor,” I say gently. “What are you doing, honey?”
He turns around, hands on hips, and declares, “Astrid turned you into a monster!”
Well, I knew I wouldn’t be winning any beauty competitions, but I didn’t think it would warrant a reaction like this.
“I did not!” Astrid yells back, running over to the bin.
Sailor steps in front of her. “No! You don’t deserve makeups anymore.”
Astrid shoves Sailor, and he teeters before launching at her. Their little bodies hit the floor, and they roll around, kicking and hitting each other.
My eyes widen. What in the hell has gotten into my children? Before I can intervene, Lee hands Ari to me and steps in, pulling them apart.
“Whoa there, big guy,” Lee says, wrapping an arm around Sailor’s middle as he attempts to throw himself at Astrid again when she gives him a smug little smirk. “Hitting girls is never okay. You hear me, Sailor? Never,” he states firmly.
Sailor’s eyes remain hard on Astrid. “She started it.”
“I did not!” she screeches back and tries to shove him again.
Lee places a hand on her shoulder, keeping her at arm’s length from Sailor. “Astrid, princess, just like it is never okay for a boy to hit a girl, it is also never okay for a girl to hit a boy. It’s nasty and mean. Are you a nasty little girl or a princess?”
Her brows dip and her nose scrunches. “I’m a princess.”
�
��I know, sweets, and princesses use their words to fight their battles, not their fists,” Lee explains. “And they do it with grace and dignity. They don’t yell or stomp their feet. They present their argument calmly, with nice words to win people over with kindness.”
My eyes travel from Astrid to Lee and back again—he’s getting through to her. I can’t believe it. She’s actually listening to him.
Finally, Astrid nods. “Okay, Just Lee. I’ll fight with my words.”
He smiles at her, gives her shoulder a little squeeze, then turns back to Sailor. “Alright, big guy, I think we need to have a chat. But dinner is ready, so how do you feel about helping me set the table while Mummy goes and washes her face? We’ll eat, then you and me will go out the back and talk, man to man.”
At the mention of sending me to wash my face, Sailor’s shoulders relax. “Okay,” he agrees. “You can get the plates ’cause I can’t reach. I’ll get the knives and forks.”
“Solid plan, bud,” Lee says before releasing him then standing to his full height and looking at me. “Babe, I know I said I’d still love you even if you looked like Chucky … but at the time, I didn’t realise how much of a possibility that would be.” He stares at me for a minute. His pearly white teeth sink into his bottom lip, and he shakes his head.
I hand Ari back to him then make a beeline for the bathroom. And that’s when Sailor’s reaction makes perfect sense. If he hadn’t thrown out Astrid’s makeup, I would have.
Curt has the kids, and it’s Lee’s and my first night alone since the heavenly kisses started. I’m hoping like crazy that tonight is the night we take things to the next level. So, I took Charlotte’s advice and shortened the shrubs while in the shower.
I’ve dried off, and I’m standing completely naked in my bathroom, facing my reflection. My body has changed so much since Lee last saw it. I run my hand over the faint stretch marks that mar my boobs and stomach. Then, my eyes widen in horror.
What the ever-loving-crap-cakes is that?!
I poke at the offending cluster of hair positioned right above my slit.
Oh, Lord. Oh, shit. This cannot be happening ...
Trimming was a bad idea—a really bad idea. Damn Charlotte and her ‘modern women lady-scape’ speech.
If I didn’t trim the hedges, I’d never have seen the offensive little thatch of silver curls. But now it’s all I can see. It’s all Lee will see if we do cross that line.
After snatching my phone from the bathroom counter, I call Char. She answers on the third ring, and I launch my verbal assault before she has a chance to speak. “This is all your fault. You bullied me into ‘tidying the landscape,’ and now there’s an eyesore smack in the middle of downtown Tillyville.”
“What exactly are we talking about here?” my now former friend asks.
“We’re talking about my silver-laced snatch thatch!” I screech.
Silence, then deafening laughter fills the line.
“Charlotte, this is serious! Lee will be here in less than an hour. What the hell am I supposed to do?” My heartbeat skyrockets as I imagine his reaction to seeing my lady-garden after six years and three children. Oh God. What was I thinking, getting into this with him again? I’m not the girl he fell in love with when we were teenagers. I’m a woman with a silver bush, for goodness’ sake.
Charlotte clears her throat, her tone all business when she says, “Calm your tits, Till. This is the perfect opportunity to test out the Clitter capsules I got you.”
I blink, then blink again. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I wrote an article about them on the blog a few weeks ago. Then, when Lee came back into your life, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for you to test them out. I put some in the top drawer of your bedside table. You’re welcome.”
She’s lost her damn mind. “You think adding glitter to this situation is going to help this? Are you insane?” Panic thrums in my veins. Calling her was a bad idea. I should never have taken her advice in the first place. She got me into this mess—I was foolish for thinking she could get me out of it.
“Are you listening to me?” she snaps.
“No,” I snap back. “No, I’m not.”
Char’s dramatic sigh filters through the line.
I grit my teeth. “Don’t you sigh at me! I’m the one going through a crisis.”
“You’re overreacting. He’s not going to care if the carpets don’t match the drapes, babe. All he’s going to be worried about is getting in there. I promise.”
I’m going to need another shower. I’m sweating like a two-dollar hooker at rush hour. “Charlotte,” I whine. “What am I going to do?”
The sound of her strumming her nails against something in the background echoes through the line—a sign she’s thinking. Then, she says, “I have an idea. It’s a little crazy, but it’ll do in a pinch. Do you have any permanent markers?”
At this point, I’m willing to try anything. So, I listen intently as she spells out her idea—it is crazy, but I’m that desperate. I do it.
Luckily, I spent half the day agonizing over what to wear tonight, and I’ve already got my outfit laid out on my bedspread. I chose a cute beige-coloured mini cargo skirt with big gold buckles on the pockets and a matching gold silk cami that I tuck in.
Since we’re eating in, I forgo shoes. The bruises on my knees have only just faded. I do not want a repeat of our first date.
I’m just putting the finishing touches on my hair, sliding a chunk in a clip to keep it away from my face, when Lee knocks twice at the front door then lets himself in. “I’ll be out in a second,” I call.
“No worries, babe,” he calls back.
I spritz a little Woman, by Ralph Lauren, over my neck then skip out of my room.
Butterflies go crazy in my belly the moment my eyes land on him sitting in the middle of my couch, his sculpted arms on display spread across the back cushions. He’s wearing his ball cap backwards as usual. His legs are extended out in front of him, ankles crossed. His feet, like mine, are bare. There’s something extremely sexy about that.
His eyes roam over my body in a slow perusal, then his lips curve, and he summons me forward with a crooked finger.
He doesn’t need to tell me twice. I close the space between us instantly. He spreads his legs, and I step into the area, fixing my gaze on his beautiful face. “Hey,” I whisper.
“Hey,” he murmurs back.
The butterflies in my belly swarm faster, and I place a hand over it to calm them. Lee sits forward, bringing his hands to my hips and tugging me down. My knees hit the couch on either side of his thighs, and his palms skirt around to cup my arse. His hands on me send chills through my entire body. My head falls forward when his fingers dig into my cheeks, kneading the flesh.
He takes full control, urging me to sit in his lap, which causes my already short skirt to bunch right under my butt cheeks and expose my thighs. His hands glide up and down my spine before they wrap around my shoulders from behind, holding me in place as his hips surge up.
“Oh, God,” I moan. Lee’s hard—like, super freaking hard. I grind down on the length with every one of his upward thrusts.
His head comes to rest between my breasts. “Till, babe, I need to be inside you. Please tell me you’re ready.”
“I’m ready,” I answer, immediately pushing onto my knees to hike my skirt up higher.
“Fuck,” he breathes, watching me.
When my skirt is out of the way, I tuck my fingers in his belt and tug it free, then move to the button and fly of his jeans. He digs in his pocket and holds a condom up between us, then rips it open with his teeth as I free his rigid cock.
He slides it on, rolling it down his shaft with a practiced ease he never used to possess. I don’t even have time to think on that fact as he tugs my black lace panties aside and positions himself at my entrance. All I can focus on is him, us, finally coming together again.
I lower onto him slowly, allowing my body to
get used to his size, inch by glorious inch. My hands curl around his shoulders, steadying myself. Lee’s gifted in the cock department, and I relish the slight burn as my muscles stretch to allow him inside.
Once I’m fully seated, I pause, staring into the eyes of my soulmate. I lift a trembling hand to trace my fingertips over his perfect lips. My breath hitches when he sucks a finger into his mouth. Our eyes never stray from one another.
His big hand wraps around my wrist and removes my fingers from his face, relocating them to the back of his neck. Then, he moves closer, brushing his lips against mine as he speaks. “I’m moving back. I never want to spend a day without you again, Tilly. You’re my world, my light, my life. Being with you, inside you, is where I was always meant to be.”
I blink back tears and nod emphatically. “I want that so much.” I sniff.
“You’ve got it, babe. I’m not going anywhere. We were never over. It just wasn’t our time. But it is now, and I’m not wasting another second of it,” he states then pushes to his feet, still inside me, and strides along the hall to my bedroom.
Keeping my arms wrapped tight around Till, I lower us to the bed, never breaking our connection. “I’m going to fuck you now, babe, but I swear I’ll take it slow next time,” I warn her.
Her eyes shine with lust, and she nods. “Please and thank you,” she mumbles, wriggling her hips beneath me.
I smirk and drop my mouth to hers, taking her lips and tongue in a deep, forceful kiss, then draw my hips back, leaving her with only my tip before slamming back in. She moans into my mouth, and I lose it, pounding into her with everything I have. Over and over, my cock slides in and out in a punishing rhythm.
She throws her head back and groans. “I’m close. Lee, so close. Don’t. Stop.”
