I stiffened and though I wanted to keep feeling her warm skin, I pulled away. “It’s late. I’m tired.”
“Me too. I should go.”
She started to rise but I shot to my feet first, earning a fast glance from Keanu.
“Stay,” I said. I grabbed a blanket from off the back of the couch. “I mean, you may as well. It’ll still be dark over there, even with the candles.”
Daisy nodded. “True.”
“Here.” I shook out the blanket and she stretched out on the couch. Awkwardly, I laid it over her and gave Keanu a pat on the head. “Right. So. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Kai,” she said sleepily. “Thank you. Talking about the break-in with you? It helped.”
I nodded, suddenly not sure what to say or what to do with my hands. I jammed them in my pockets. “Sure.”
Back in my bedroom, I shut the door and muttered a curse. Where had my game gone? No woman left me tongue-tied. Hell, I’d even agreed to another Reiki session.
“Because my dick wants to remain in close proximity to a sexy-as-fuck woman. End of story.”
But the words were empty. Meaningless. I cared about Daisy Watson when I had refused to care about anyone since Dad’s death had carved a hole in my heart. This was only going to end badly. Better for Daisy’s sake to nip it in the bud before it was too late.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Jason’s number.
“It’s three a.m. where I am,” my agent said. “If that means anything to you at all.”
“She’s a receptionist,” I blurted.
A silence. Then…
“Yeah? So?”
“So? She’s not qualified to fix me, Jason.”
He sighed and then yawned. “She told you.”
“Yes.”
“That was very honest of her.”
“She feels bad for all the money you’re paying her. My money.”
“Does it really matter?” Jason asked. “Honestly? You piss more than twenty grand away throwing chairs at ball boys.”
I paced my room, ran my hand through my hair. “It’s a waste of time. That’s all.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Jason asked. “Did something happen?”
“No. Yes. There’s a storm. A power outage in the guesthouse. She came over. We talked.”
I nearly told Jason about Daisy’s horrifying night of the break-in, but it was too personal.
I’m an arsehole but not that much of an arsehole.
“You talked,” Jason said. “And?”
“And she told me the truth about being a trainee. She felt bad about it and—”
“Did you fire her?” he asked, sounding wide awake now.
“No, I didn’t fire her. I…”
I sighed, bit off another curse. And in that moment, I realized I had no one to talk to. No father to confide in. No mates that would take anything seriously or advise me something more than ‘bang her brains out.’ I’d kicked out of my life the people who mattered. Or never let them in in the first place.
So I pathetically blurted to my agent and only friend, “I like her.”
Another silence and I could practically hear Jason’s smile.
“You like her.”
“Yes, bloody hell, it’s not frontpage news. I don’t want to leave her stranded, but she’s only the receptionist—”
“But you like her and it’s frustrating as hell, right? To have feelings for someone?”
“I don’t have bloody feelings for her.”
“Right. You’re calling me at three in the morning to tell me you don’t have feelings for her. You just said you liked her.”
“As a person, yes.” I wanted to strangle my agent through the phone. “But I’m calling to tell you that this whole thing is stupid, a huge distraction, and not working.”
“Uh huh. You want to know what I think is happening here?”
“Yes, tell me. I don’t know what the fuck is happening here, except that I’m turning into a giant pussy.”
“For the first time in your life, you’re viewing a woman as an actual human being. Congratulations. Welcome to evolution. Anything else? No? I’m going back to bed.”
“Jase—”
“Goodnight, Kai. See you in a week.”
A click and then silence.
“Bloody useless bastard,” I muttered and threw myself on the bed to stare at the ceiling.
Even more useless were the feelings I had swirling in my gut. Mysterious and alien and good and…
No, not good.
This was bad. It was going to end badly. I had a sharp tongue. A bad temper. The longer Daisy was around me, the greater the chances I was going to say something unforgiveable. It was inevitable. Like a tennis match of mine that started out well and then devolved to crap when an opponent started to win. Because my favorite matches were love games—ones in which I scored all the points on my opponent.
And they scored none.
Chapter Nine
Daisy
The storm departed and with it, so did whatever kind of intimacy Kai and I had shared that night I told him about the break-in. For the next few days, he was reserved and silent, blowing off our Reiki sessions by keeping himself surrounded by his fitness team. They’d appeared one morning in a mass of testosterone—trainers and nutritionists who took stock of every move Kai made in the gym and every bite of food that went into his mouth.
“They need to get my pre-Open program set up,” he’d told me. “I’ll be free again in a few days.”
Then Lana had to explain to me the sudden influx of publicists that swarmed the big house. Apparently, there was some sort of media event at the country club in Wailea happening to celebrate the Open too. When his fitness team was done with him, Kai’s publicity team took over, prepping him, taking promotional photographs and crafting soundbites for the event.
“It’s like a big party,” Lana told me. “To drum up excitement for the Open with press and other tennis officials.”
“Will Jason be here for it?”
“I’m sure he will.”
I nodded, feeling even more useless and squandering of Jason’s trust. He was going to arrive in a week and see I’d made no progress at all.
The demands made on a professional tennis player weren’t anything I was familiar with, but I suspected my confessing about my qualifications—or lack thereof—was the real reason behind Kai’s silent treatment. Wouldn’t he want to include our sessions in his fitness plan if he were serious?
Or maybe telling him about the break-in was too much.
I wondered if I’d crossed some kind of professional line. Or personal. Kai was allergic to talking about feelings or anything involving emotions and I’d overloaded him.
“Ridiculous,” I murmured, feeling bored and useless in the guesthouse with nothing to do. “He’s not a baby. He’s a grown-ass man.”
But I’d never been good at ignoring my own feelings, and to see Kai’s handsome face softened into concern for me felt good. A lot good. And made me think of him in ways that overstepped the client/therapist boundaries.
“Don’t go there. Do your job.”
Except I had no job.
Finally, after a week of wandering aimlessly around the guesthouse and taking Keanu down to Lahaina’s Front Street for shave ices and window shopping, Kai appeared one morning at our usual scheduled time.
“Hey,” he said and lay down on my table.
“Uh, hey,” I said, and my silly heart pounded to have him so close to me again. “Wasn’t sure if you still wanted my brand of voodoo.”
A smile touched his lips and vanished. “I’m good.”
He closed his eyes and I had nothing else to do but start.
I closed my own eyes and began with my hands over Kai’s right elbow. When I performed Reiki, I imagined energy as a gold stream of light coming through me and into my client, coursing the channels of their body like blood in their veins.
This time, as it had the la
st time, the energy drew my hands to Kai’s arm and I felt his warm skin underneath. The powerful muscle. I nearly let myself become distracted and had to refocus. After a short time, the golden light I envisioned was done with his elbow and went straight to Kai’s heart.
I felt my hands move to hover over his chest and then a sigh emanated from Kai. Like relief. The tight knot of pain of his father’s passing was loosening slowly. If he could let it go…
“We’re done here.”
I jerked my eyes open and stepped back. Kai was swinging his legs off the table, his expression hard, almost angry.
“What’s happening?” I asked.
“Nothing. Feels great.” He flexed his elbow a few times. “Thanks.”
“You were on the table for less than five minutes.”
He shrugged and gave me a steel gaze. “Maybe you’re just that good.”
“Hey,” I said as he turned to go. “Hey.”
Kai stopped, turned.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “Is this about the other night?”
Like a bad actor, Kai’s face contorted into exaggerated confusion. “Huh? What happened the other night?”
“Nothing, apparently,” I said, striving not to sound as hurt as I felt. “Nothing at all.”
He rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Look. This just isn’t my thing. I tried and I don’t feel any different and so…that’s it.”
“That’s it.”
“What do you want me to say, Daisy?”
“You don’t have to say anything, but you could give it another try. We’ve only had a few sessions—”
“Yeah, and you hardly work on my elbow at all.”
“It goes where the pain is—”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, there is nothing wrong with me but some tendonitis and an overprotective agent who’s trying to protect his brand. The rest”—he waved his hand to indicate the lanai, the chair, the incense—“is just nonsense.”
I stiffened. “Nonsense? How would you know? You give up after a few minutes, just like you do everything else when it’s not going your way.”
His eyes widened. “Right. The Reiki is so effective, and yet it doesn’t seem to work on you.”
I stared, feeling as if he’d slapped me. “You’re a bastard.”
“Why? Because my dead dad is fair game, but your shit is off limits? You know what? Forget it. This was bullshit from the start.”
I sucked in a breath through my nose. “The bullshit is you throwing your entire career away instead of taking the tiniest shred of responsibility for yourself. For your talent. That’s why you don’t have a coach, isn’t it? You can’t stand for anyone to hold you accountable, and you get rid of anyone who tries. Well, guess what? It’s working. You’re going to get banned from tennis. That will show them all, right? Implode your own career, squander your incredible talent. That’ll teach’em.”
“What the hell do you know about it?” Kai shot back. “You’re just a receptionist.”
I stared, willing my eyes to not betray me. Kai’s own hard expression melted into regret and something like shame. He shook his head, not meeting my eye.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I’m sorry I said that, Daisy. But you can’t help me. Go back to Paia.” He raised his head. “It’s better if you do. For both of us.”
I tilted my chin up. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
“That’s what I want. You don’t deserve…” He shook his head again. “Never mind.”
He walked away, back to the main house. I watched him go, a tsunami of turbulent emotions swirling in me. Anger should’ve burned brightest given how he’d spoken to me. Instead I felt as if I’d lost something that I’d only just found. There were two Kais. The one he wore as a shield to protect himself and the person he truly was.
Doesn’t matter. You don’t need to put up with him being a dick.
My parents—and Jordan—had always called me a big softy. Melanie said my empathy for others is what would make me a good healer. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It’s like answering questions that the person hasn’t asked; just wasted breath.
Kai had his journey and I wasn’t going to be a part of it.
My phone felt like it weighed a hundred pounds as I called Jason and told him I’d been let go.
“What?” Jason muttered something away from the phone that sounded like That hotheaded moron, then came back, his voice firm. “Stay right where you are, Miss Watson.”
“I’m not wanted here, Jason. It doesn’t feel right to stay.”
“I’m telling you it’s right,” he said. “I’ll cut my work short. I can be there in three days.”
“But—”
“Didn’t you tell me you sublet your apartment?”
I bit my lip. “I Airbnb’d it.”
“So you’d be homeless if you left. No way. Stay. Make yourself at home. I’ll deal with Kai.”
“Jason…”
“I don’t need to tell you that turnaround for employees on Kai’s team is high. He’s fired Lana a hundred times too. Just ignore him. I’ll be there soon.”
Ignore him?
I wanted to argue more but Jason was a busy man who probably had multi-million-dollar contracts to deal with. I let him go with a muttered thank you and hung up.
“Welp, I guess we’re stuck here, Keanu,” I told my dog who lifted his head at the sound of his name. “Stuck in this beautiful, stunning, Hawaiian paradise house for another week.”
It still felt wrong, but maybe I was overthinking it. Wouldn’t have been the first time. I called up Jordan, who was never shy about giving me her opinion.
“You’re overthinking it,” she said immediately, after I told her the situation. “That agent-guy is the one in charge and if he says stay, stay. Enjoy yourself.”
“It’s not supposed to be a vacation.”
“Kai also doesn’t have to be an asshole and throw your shit back in your face after you were honest with him. A few swims in that big old pool isn’t going to rip a hole in the cosmos or anything.”
“Good point.”
“Of course it is. I made it. And Kai?”
“What about him?”
“You told him about the break-in. That must mean you felt comfortable with him.”
“I told him because I had to,” I said. “I ran over to the big house like a scared little kid.”
“Stop beating yourself up for that.” Jordan gentled her voice. “You had a knife held to your cheek, hon. You’re allowed to feel…whatever you feel about it.”
“I know, but it’s still humiliating.”
“Was Kai an asshole about it that night too?”
“Not at all. He was super sweet. And considerate. And…”
“And?”
“He was angry. Like he wanted to hurt those men because they hurt me.”
“The plot thickens,” Jordan said. “So it’s a case of Classic Male Bravado Syndrome. He’s being a dick now because he was vulnerable then. He likes you. Probably a lot, and it scares him.”
“Feeling anything scares him,” I said. “And it doesn’t matter if he likes me or not. I’m an employee and it should stay that way.”
“Do you want it to stay that way?” Jordan asked. “Do you like him too?”
I thought about the question, searched my feelings. “I like him when he’s showing his true self. When he’s kind and caring and making jokes. Smiling.”
I like that beautiful smile of his. A lot.
And if I delved further, I realized that there was something about the real Kai that I was drawn to. Something that made me want to be near him and it had nothing to do with his extreme good looks or his talent. Something that might, if we had time, reveal itself to be something more…
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, surprised at the ache in my heart for the finality of the words. “Most of the time he’s protecting himself by being an asshole. I want to do my best to help, but
getting involved is a bad idea.”
“Bad ideas can be a lot of fun,” Jordan said. “And you must have ovaries of steel, girlfriend.”
A laugh burst out of me. “What does that mean?”
“I Googled your man after you told me he was a tennis pro. H-O-T. I mean…wow.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I know you’re into being professional and all,” Jordan said, and I could hear the air quotes she put around the word, “but have you ever considered that all he needs is a mind-blowing orgasm or two?”
“Jesus, Jordan. I’m not going to prostitute myself to the guy.”
“Who said anything about that? Hell, sex could be the cure for what ails you, too. Jump in the sack with him and see if you don’t both feel a million times better the morning after.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I’m hanging up now.”
Later that afternoon, I turned over her words. Not that I was seriously considering sleeping with Kai to “cure” either one of us. But I hadn’t thought about sleeping with any man since the break-in. God, what would I do? What would it be like to have a man’s weight on top of me in bed? Could I even have a man in my life like that now?
I caught a glimpse of Kai talking with Lana in the backyard. He wore his workout gear and Owen was with him. I guessed they were going to practice on the court, and my eyes drank up his form. His smooth skin over hard muscle. The lines and planes of him. My body felt awake looking at Kai Solomon.
So sex isn’t completely off limits, I thought, though while I might still want to be with a man, sleeping with him in a darkened bedroom made my skin shiver.
I decided to give myself the night off from thinking about Kai Solomon and poured myself a glass of red wine. Twilight had begun to fall when I poured another, changed into my bathing suit—a white bikini—and headed for the pool.
The setting sun bathed the sky in coppery hues, but the heat lingered.
I slipped into the water at the shallow end, near the Buddha fountain, and set my wine glass beside me. Keanu frolicked and leapt on the cement, chasing after little white butterflies that flitted over the flowers, and then settled on his belly near me.
The wine gave me a pleasant buzz; the water was perfect—cool and smooth over my skin—and the night sky was deepening into a beautifully dark blue velvet swath above, sprinkled with diamond starlight. Hibiscus scents hung thick and heavy in the warm air, and the burble of the Buddha fountain lulled me into a perfectly relaxed state…
Team Player 2: A Sports Anthology Page 64