My eyes bug out. “Wait…what?”
He laughs, slapping his leg. “Ava, I’m gay. Everyone knows.”
I shake my head. “But…you’re so…”
“Masculine? Athletic? Sexy?”
I giggle. “Yeah, okay, sure, all that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to stereotype. My bad.” I pause. “Thanks again for stopping. I was feeling uncomfortable.”
He strikes a pose, bending his hand at the wrist, totally putting on airs. “Ignore those assholes, darling, because we’re going to be great friends.”
I smile broadly. “I do think we are.”
Chapter Seven
Knox
Nobody’s happy at five o’clock in the morning, but excitement builds inside me. Early morning practices? Bring it. Football cuts through the emptiness. It gives me room to breathe and feel…something.
I want to play in college, but there aren’t a lot of scouts beating down my door. Last year we played like shit, losing six games straight by the end of the season, our worst record in forty years. Our team was fractured after the Ava incident, caught up in police interviews and angry administrators.
Coach Williams personally questioned all of us. No one admitted to shit, and with no proof, her assault was forgotten as the weeks went on. By the time Christmas rolled around, no one talked about her except in whispers. It’s as if people wanted to dismiss what happened—even the police. Is it because she doesn’t have wealthy parents? Is it because our football team is on a shiny gold pedestal, bringing home four state championship trophies in the past ten years? Yeah. All of that.
But this year…I want us to rise up. I want our team to work together and not give each other hard looks, wondering what really happened that night…
Dane picks up a ball and we pass it back and forth to warm up.
I feel a bump in my back and turn to see Chance walking up with Liam. He gives me a thumbs-up, and I give him a nod. Guess he’s over seeing me with Ava.
Both of them are holding to-go coffees.
He bends and stretches, warming up, and my head wanders, thinking back to that party and how upset he got watching Ava dance with the other players. Jealous and angry, he ended up with Brooklyn and hasn’t left her side since. He’s my best friend, but…why didn’t he believe Ava?
Coach Williams, a tall burly man with bushy eyebrows, finishes making notes about who has shown up on his clipboard and then looks at me. “Knox, take the offense and run sprints then we’ll line up for scrimmage. No pads or helmets. Limited contact.” He sweeps his eyes over us, including Liam. “Keep it clean today, boys.”
Yeah, yesterday, there was some pushing and shoving, mostly between the offense and defense.
The offense gathers around, Dane and Chance on either side of me. “You heard him—put your pussy coffees down and let’s get to work.” Chance rolls his eyes but dashes off to set his cup on the bench. “Ten sprints to the thirty and back, then line up on me. Let’s kick some defense ass today, got it?” We all clap.
Under the rising sun, I finish my sprints first with Dane and Chance. We jog up to the fifty-yard line to wait for the rest.
Liam and a few of the other defensive players jog over—and Liam opens his mouth. “What’s up with you and Ava yesterday? You two buddies now?”
“You don’t know anything about what happened to her tire, do you?” I reply.
He curls his lip. “If I did, Scarface, I wouldn’t tell you or anyone else. I’m no snitch like Ava is.”
“Don’t say her name again,” I reply, cracking my neck.
His face reddens. “Why?”
“Because I’m the captain and you do what I say.”
His jaw pops. “She’s a problem, Knox. The police acted like you and I, Chance, and the rest of the team might have done something we all know we didn’t. I don’t appreciate police officers interviewing me like I’m a suspect.”
“Maybe one of us did do it.” My voice is calm, and I feel the players watching me, some of them nodding in agreement, some of them gaping. See, fractured.
“You believe her?” His eyes glare at me.
“Get over it, Liam. Let’s play football, Knox,” Dane says, eyeing me nervously.
Liam barks out a rough laugh and shakes his head, clearly not over it. “That shadow of doubt hangs over all of us, even you—and she’s back! You don’t think I see the way some of the teachers look at us? I don’t like that shit.” His face hardens. “Even Jolena looks at me different.”
I keep my voice cold. “I doubt you need to worry about Ava showing up to anymore of our parties.”
Liam locks eyes with me. “If she does, I figure I’m owed one tussle in the woods. If I’m going to be accused of something, I should at least get the chance to do it.”
Everyone on the team freezes, and I…I feel winded, anger erupting into rage.
My right fist connects with Liam’s face before I even realize I’m doing it. His head snaps back but his surprised eyes never leave mine. His punch comes quick and accurate, hitting me in the eye before I can dip down. I can’t even feel it. Oh, hell yeah, bring it. I’ve been itching to hit him since the parking lot.
He shoves at my chest, trying to push me away, but I grab his shirt to pull him back and slam my fist into him again.
Chance jumps between us, but I wrestle out of his grasp and face off with Liam again. “You’re sick! That kind of talk is what’s wrong with people. Don’t ever say her name on this field. Get in line like everyone else and follow the goddamn rules that I set.”
“You hit me first!” he calls out.
“Stop this!” Dane snaps, clutching my arms as some of the defensive players pull Liam away.
I jerk out of his hold and nod my head at Liam. “And you call him your best friend? Did you not hear what he said? And after what happened to our own mother?” I spit. “You’re the one who needs to wake the fuck up.”
Dane pales and the guys around us grow quiet, eyes bouncing between me and my brother. Yeah, no one really knows how bad it was with our mom or what actually happened, but you can bet they’ve all wondered.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I shove that shit down hard.
I’m not going to think about—
“Everything okay, boys?” Coach Williams’ voice cuts into the tension as he approaches us.
A long exhalation comes from my chest, and I give him a sharp nod even though I’m not feeling it.
Coach looks at all of us. “No more bullshit. If you want to be a team, you need to start acting like one.”
I seethe as I stare at Liam.
“Knox! Do you want a championship this year or not?” Coach is giving me a hard glance, taking in my still clenched fists.
Focus, man. You’re in charge. Lead them. “Yes, sir.” I nod, slowly forcing my shoulders to loosen.
But Dane…
I glance over at him, to see if he’s okay. I never should have brought Mom up, but I did, and it always makes him…
He’s still white.
Coach walks back to the sidelines, and Liam calls for the defense to line up.
I turn steely eyes on him, smirking at the swelling I see under his left eye. Figure I’ll have one to match. I lean over to him, keeping my voice low. “I mean it. Say her name again and I’ll fucking hurt you.”
He shrugs.
That’s right, asshole, I’m in charge.
Chapter Eight
Ava
Daniel looks up at me with wary blue eyes, and I read the nervousness there. I smile down at him. On the other side is Sister Margaret, holding his other hand.
“W-Will they like me?” he asks as we walk into the elementary campus of Camden and head toward the sign that points to the headmaster’s office. Dr. Rivers, a lady I researched online all summer, appears to be well-educated and admired by colleagues and former students here. I spoke with her on the phone last night, and she’s eagerly expecting us. I see her down the hall, approaching from
her office. I look back down at Daniel. God, he’s so small compared to kids his own age. Like many children with FAS, he has small eyes, thin lips, and a small upturned nose. He’s holding his backpack with fingers that are disjointed and knotty, not that it holds him back. He’s a normal rambunctious kid who loves sports, especially running. His little legs are like the wind. He does have slight hearing loss and thick wraparound glasses sit perched on his nose, but thankfully he was spared heart or kidney defects.
I lean down until I’m at eye level. “You better believe it, buddy. Sister Margaret’s going to run you by my dorm after school, okay? You’re gonna spend the night with me if you want, and I can bring you to school tomorrow.” I straighten the collar on his little blazer, which I picked up after school yesterday. Dr. Rivers stayed late for me, which was nice of her. I already have good vibes about this place.
He bites on his fingernails. “I-I like to sleep in my own bed. And Axel is there. He might miss me.”
I smile. Axel is his best friend, a kid a year younger than him.
“Okay, that’s cool. We can go get an ice cream after school and you can tell me all about your day.”
He nods.
“Be good, okay? No darting off from your teachers. I mean it.”
He looks away from me, that look of stubbornness I know he gets from me growing on his face. “Th-They better be nice to me or I’ll cut their balls off and stuff them down their throats.”
Sister Margaret rolls her eyes.
“Buddy, you can’t say those things here.”
“You say them.”
Sister Margaret gives me a side-eye.
“And I shouldn’t. No bad language.”
He cocks his head. “I-I could have said fucking balls, so it’s not a bad word. Boys have balls. And a dick—”
I hold my hand up. “Nope. Can’t say that word either. School is a lot like Mass, okay? We have to be respectful.”
The nun shakes her head, but I swear I see her lips twitch.
I ruffle his hair. “Did you know they have a killer art department here? Check out that mural. It was done by students.”
He looks to where I’m pointing, an awed expression growing on his face. He adores drawing.
I squeeze his thin shoulders.
Dr. Rivers has reached us, and she puts a hand on his shoulder as she smiles.
My heart clutches, and hope, that thing that’s been so delicate and tenuous with me for months, grows a little stronger as I watch her greet him and offer to show him to his class.
She stands back up and gives me a considering look. “Good to see you again, Miss Harris. Daniel’s going to have a fantastic day, I assure you, and I have your number in case we need you.” She looks at Sister Margaret and nods. “We have the group home’s number as well. Everything’s all set.” She pauses, studying me. “Also, congratulations on getting him enrolled. Headmaster Trask pulled quite a few strings to get everything arranged.” She smiles. “He’s going to fall in love with his teachers.”
That well of emotion pulls at me, making tears prick my eyes, and I swallow it down. I look around at the bright murals, the plush furniture I can see inside the classrooms, the excited faces of teachers as they greet each student. Yes. I can’t be his mom, but I can do this. I can give him a good start. “Thank you.”
She nods and begins to walk with Daniel down the hall.
He sends me a final wave then gets distracted by a little girl who runs up to him, takes his other hand, and leads him off along with Dr. Rivers. I bite my lip.
I did the right thing by coming back to Camden. I did. He’s going to be okay.
* * *
“Holy cow. That’s quite a shiner you’ve got there, Cold and Evil,” are the first words out of my mouth when I take my seat next to Knox in film class. I barely made it here after dropping Daniel off, but the high school starts half an hour later than the elementary campus, so I had some leeway. Still, I sat in my car for a good while, waiting until the last minute to get out. I know I’m trying to be brave, but there’s still so much anger inside me every time I walk in those doors and see students avoiding my eyes or turning up their noses at me.
He ignores me, giving me a half-shrug as he keeps his gaze on his laptop.
Okaayyy.
Guess he doesn’t want to chat.
I risk a look back at Chance, and yep, he’s got his eyes on me, his hand clasped tightly with Brooklyn’s. I wave at them and paste on my armor, a bright, blinding smile. “Sup, y’all?”
His nose flares and he drops his eyes, staring at his desk.
“How you doing, Brooklyn?” I ask, pointedly staring, studying her pretty face, taking in the long golden-brown hair and carefully made-up face. She’s Jolena’s bestie, so it’s not like I expect her to be nice. I don’t know why I even spoke to her, but I do know it’s going to be a very long 180 days of this shit, and I might as well pretend I’m invincible.
She looks past me. Fine, fine.
Knox has turned and watches me, giving me an even better look at his black eye, the skin puffy and purple and painful-looking. Fresh, I’d guess. I saw Mom with a couple of shiners before she ran off. Daniel’s dad was a real winner—no job, on drugs, and angry. Sometimes I wonder if she’s still alive.
I wince at his bruise and am about to question him again when Piper dashes over, pushing her cute glasses up on her nose. She gives me a hug, and some of the dread from walking through the entrance today fades away. “Girlfriend, the dorm news is so awesome! Score! You’re only five minutes from me now! Party time. We can study together too!” She does a little fist pump in the air and I laugh. She texted me last night to say she was going to come see my room, but then she canceled at the last minute, saying she had too much homework.
But I wonder…
It feels as if there’s distance between us since I left, and it must be hard for her to hang out with the girl some people hate.
I push that away. I’m a different person. She is too. Friendships change…
She looks over her shoulder when Dane walks in and takes his seat at their table. “Oh, great. My pompous partner is here. Gotta go. I’ll come by tonight and we’ll celebrate with Mountain Dew and tacos—your favorite, right? I’ll bring them. Talk later, ’kay?”
And then she’s bouncing away and plopping down in her seat next to him.
Dang. I wish we had more classes together, or at least lunch.
I sigh. I feel alone all over again. In a classroom of people.
“She’s still your friend,” Knox says to me, and I start.
How the hell does he know what I’m thinking?
“I know.”
“Do you? You looked unsure. Just wanted to clarify. She was your biggest advocate when you left. She even had a little catfight with Jolena in the hall one day last year about something shitty she overheard her say to the other cheerleaders. I don’t know specifics.”
Oh. “Piper never mentioned it.”
He nods. “I imagine she didn’t want to remind you of everything.” He pauses. “She’s a nice girl. Her parents are the ones who took you to the hospital, right?”
I blink.
He smirks. “You can close your mouth now.”
I close my lips, not having realized I was gaping at him. “You’re so weird. I never thought you ever paid any attention to my comings and goings.”
He exhales. “I’m not oblivious to the people around me. I just keep to myself.”
“Ah, yes, the god who needs no one. He rules the school. Girls adore him. Guys are envious of him. Everyone wants to be next to him, wants to bask in his glory. Praise be.”
“Seems accurate.”
I laugh. He is kind of funny with his stone face and black eye.
I tap my pen on the desk. I don’t want to, but part of me wishes we were back to that brief camaraderie we shared when he changed my tire—until his friends showed up.
Mrs. White hasn’t started lecturing yet, and I fin
d I’m more and more curious about Knox.
“So tell me about the shiner,” I say. “You didn’t have it yesterday.”
“Someone pissed me off.”
“Who would dare?” I make a pretend gasp and clutch my heart.
He just shakes his head and smirks. “You keep surprising me, Tulip. You and that mouth.”
I’m about to comment—with what, I don’t know, but I do know I enjoy sparring with him—when Mrs. White dims the lights and begins The Wizard of Oz.
“Today we’re going to watch an iconic movie, and I want you to take notes on the metaphors and symbolism you see…” I tune her out, having a hard time concentrating, my mind still on Knox.
He passes me a note, his handwriting neat and careful. He didn’t use script writing, though, choosing to print the letters carefully. Are we still on to watch Dirty Dancing soon?
I glance up to make sure Mrs. White isn’t looking; she’s settled in at her desk and is looking over a textbook.
Sure. Seven good? Monday? We can use FaceTime if we want to talk while it’s playing? I slide the note back over to him.
Hmmm. Why don’t we just watch it together? I think that would be easier than trying to FaceTime. That way we can bounce ideas around for the essay and take notes. You can come to my house.
I read it over twice to make sure I didn’t misunderstand him.
Cold and Evil wants to watch it together?
I look around to make sure I’m not in a parallel universe.
I sit here for a full five minutes, thinking about my response, and I notice that the longer I pause, tapping my pen on the note, the more antsy he becomes, legs bouncing under the table, his fingers drumming against the desk. Still holding his note, I dart my eyes over at him and see he’s watching me. Carefully. Intently. He bites down on that lush bottom lip of his, and warm tingles move through my body as my heart picks up. There’s a fluttery feeling in my stomach—
Stop. Just stop. I will not get butterflies over Knox Grayson. TROUBLE.
No. I pass my response over to him.
Team Player 2: A Sports Anthology Page 81
