“Do you feel okay?”
“I’m sore,” he answered. “But I’ll live.”
I turned to face him and cupped his cheek, bringing our lips together. Kissing him… it did something crazy to my chest.
Cason wasn’t just the forbidden apple; he was the whole damn tree. Each bite more delicious than the one before it.
Chapter 15
Cason
“You need how much?” Emery asked, talking on the phone as we sat at the kitchen table the next morning. “Why?”
Ryan had called him shortly after we’d sat down with our breakfast. I couldn’t hear anything other than an indistinct voice muttering on the other end of the phone.
“Fine,” Emery said, giving in way too easily. “No, you don’t have to come here.” His now panicked eyes flashed to me, and my gut knotted in response. “I’ll transfer it to your account. Okay. Bye.”
Relieved that Ryan wouldn’t be stopping by, I took a drink of my coffee and relaxed in the chair, wincing a bit at the ache in my ass. That would’ve been a hard one to explain—me being in his dad’s kitchen wearing only my underwear.
“What does he need the money for?” I asked. Emery glanced at me, and I shrugged. “Sorry. I’m nosy.”
His eyes crinkled around the edges. “He wants to take his girlfriend to a concert. It’s a few hours away from here, so they’ll be staying the night afterward instead of driving back.”
“So, he’s calling Lexi his girlfriend now, huh?” I asked with a grin. That was a first.
“You’ve met her?”
“Yep.” My smile fled when I saw the disappointment in Emery’s eyes. Ryan had the audacity to call him asking for money, but didn’t have the decency to introduce them. “You could’ve told him no. Or told him to get a job and make his own money.”
“I know.” Emery cut a sliver of his fried egg and ate it, his expression unreadable. “He rarely calls me for anything. I guess I just wanted to be a cool dad for once.”
“You’re a cool dad all the time,” I countered, nudging his foot under the table. “You don’t need to give Ryan whatever he wants without him having earned it. All that teaches him is that you’re a pushover.”
“Hey.” Emery gently kicked my leg. “I’m not a pushover.” That unreadable expression returned as he looked at his mug of coffee. “I just want him to love me again.”
Fuckin’ hell. The sadness in his voice felt like a linebacker shoulder-charged me right in the middle of my chest.
“He does love you,” I said, recalling the few instances when Ryan forgot to be pissed at his dad and let his true feelings show—like moments when he smiled or told a story about Emery. Then, he’d force a glower and say something hateful to balance it out. “And you don’t need to kiss his ass to prove you love him.”
He nodded and grabbed his phone. Probably to transfer the money to Ryan. After a few minutes, he placed it back on the table and continued eating.
“When I hung out with him the other night, he told me he had lunch with you,” I said.
“I’m shocked he told you.” Hope sparked in his eyes. “What did he say about it?”
“Not much,” I admitted, hating the way his hope diminished a bit. “But he said it wasn’t too bad. Which, for Ryan, is pretty much saying he had a good time.”
Emery smiled before putting an egg on a piece of toast and eating. Thinking it looked good, I copied him. Minutes passed as we ate, but it wasn’t a weird silence. Especially since we smiled each time our gazes locked.
“Ryan told me something too,” Emery said. “He said you were offered the baseball scholarship first and turned it down.”
“What’s your point?” I asked, uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
“I guess I want to know why you’d turn down a full-ride scholarship to a damn good school. You wouldn’t have had to pay for a thing, and you’d get to play college ball.”
“That’s Ryan’s dream, not mine,” I answered, having no regrets about turning it down. “Yeah, the full ride would’ve been nice, but I was still able to get a few good scholarships because of my GPA. The college here in Fort Smith has a great criminal justice program, and that’s all I need.”
“That’s right. You said you’re going to be a criminal justice major.” Emery took a drink and set his cup back down. “Have you decided what you want to do with it yet?”
I wasn’t sure why he wanted to get to know me, but I didn’t mind it. Talking was nice.
“Kind of,” I answered, getting an excited fluttering in the pit of my stomach at the thought of college. “I think I want to be a detective. I know I have to build up to that, though. I might start off as a cop maybe.”
“You don’t have to go to college to be a police officer,” Emery pointed out. “You just have to be twenty-one and go through training.”
“I know, but I want a degree. Just in case the cop thing doesn’t work out or something. It’s good to have a backup plan, and it’s not like the degree will go to waste either way.”
“True.” His blue eyes held my gaze. “If I can do anything to help with your classes, don’t hesitate to ask. A few attorneys I used to work with teach classes over there now. You’ll probably have them for your intro courses.”
“Thanks.” My chest warmed, and it had nothing to do with the coffee. “After breakfast… I have an idea.”
“What’s your idea?” he asked, lifting his cup to his smiling lips.
“I want you to fuck me again.”
His brows arched.
“And I want it in your office,” I added, amused by his reaction to me being so blunt. “On your desk.”
“That can be arranged,” he said with a chuckle, wiping his mouth. “Finish your food first. You’ll need the energy.”
“Oh yeah?” I shoved the rest of the toast into my mouth, not taking my eyes off him.
His answering smirk made my ass ache even more. I could already feel the pounding he was about to give me.
And I couldn’t fucking wait.
***
“What’s gotten into you lately?” Ryan asked, as we walked down the street. “You’ve been… I don’t know, like, extra smiley or something the past few days.”
“Nothing,” I lied, glancing at him before checking the crosswalk signal. It was red, so we stood in place waiting for the light to change. “Just in a good mood.”
A great mood.
Emery and I had been seeing each other for three weeks now. Even on the nights where I didn’t sleep at his place, I had still gone over to his house and we’d hung out and screwed before I left. We also texted throughout the day, mostly stupid shit, like funny law memes and attorney jokes, but I’d become used to talking to him.
Even once we ended the fling, we’d still be friends.
Hopefully.
“You talking to Faith?”
“A little,” I answered. “She friended me on Facebook, and we talk some in Messenger.”
Faith had reached out to me a week ago, and we’d had a few good conversations. Mostly about college and some where we nerded out over anime. Nothing romantic or sexual. I could see us becoming good friends.
“You banging her?” Ryan asked.
“No,” I said, as the crosswalk signal turned green and we walked across. Then, wanting to change the subject, I asked, “How are things with Lexi? Still bad?”
Ryan had taken Lexi to some pop concert two weeks ago, and things had been going great between them, but they had started fighting a lot when they got back. I thought they were spending too much time together and maybe needed to take time away to relax and get their heads back on straight.
“The bitch is psycho,” Ryan answered, shaking his head. “All because she said I flirted with some chick at the concert. Like, I was fucking drunk, I don’t remember. And that was two weeks ago. She needs to let that shit go and get off my back.”
“How did you get alcohol?” I asked.
He grinned. “I have my ways.
”
“You flirted with an older girl and had her buy it for you, didn’t you?”
Ryan laughed. “Maybe.”
“So, Lexi does have a reason to be pissed.”
Once out of the road, we moved down the sidewalk on Garrison Avenue, a street that came alive at night with bar hoppers and partygoers. We weren’t old enough to get into the bars, but there was one bar and grill that we liked to go to on Saturday nights because their burgers were half price and they had endless baskets of fries.
“Can I be real with you about something?” Ryan asked, stopping outside the restaurant and facing me. Same blue eyes as Emery, but different too.
“Of course.”
“Okay, this is gonna make me sound like an asshole, but…” Ryan released a breath and skimmed a hand over his hair. “I cheated on her at the concert. Well, after it. It was with the girl she says I flirted with. I know I just lied to you about not remembering, but I was ashamed. Because I know you’d never do something sneaky and shitty like that. You’re the realest dude I know.”
Wow, what a way to make me feel like the asshole. Ryan said I was so great, but if I was, I wouldn’t be going behind his back and fucking his dad.
“You cheated on her,” I said, making sure I heard him right amidst all the rambling.
“Yeah. Like not just flirting, but I kissed someone else.” Ryan tilted his head back and stared at the awning above us. “Lexi doesn’t know for sure, but she suspects. It’s why we’ve done nothing but fight for two damn weeks. I didn’t have sex with the other girl, but I still feel awful about it.”
Knowing Ryan, I was sure he was letting his guilt over it make him lash out at her.
“Why do this to yourself?” I asked, slapping his arm with the back of my hand to make him look at me. “Just break up with her if you aren’t happy.”
“I don’t wanna break her heart.”
“You’re already doing that.” Taps sounded above us as it started to rain. Rain hadn’t been in the forecast last I checked. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
Ryan nodded and went inside the restaurant. The hostess greeted us and showed us to a table near the window. The waiter then came over and took our drink orders before leaving. A bar was directly across from us, and Ryan sighed as he looked at the bartender slide a beer to a man sitting there.
“Wish I could have a beer instead. Or something stronger.”
“You’re such an alcoholic,” I said with a snort.
“Just wait ’til we turn twenty-one,” he responded with a smile. “We’ll hit up all the bars, pick up girls, and have the time of our lives.”
I doubted we’d do anything like that. Because I planned to come out eventually—sooner rather than later. Once I did, Ryan might not want to hang out with me anymore.
My eyes stung at the thought, and I cleared my throat as it started to tighten.
The waiter brought our drinks and took our food orders. Ryan stayed quiet for a while before he let loose a massive sigh and slouched in his chair.
“Fuck this,” he said, fishing his phone from his pocket.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m breaking up with her.”
“Through text?” I asked. “Dude, no. That’s crappy.”
“Well, I don’t wanna tell her to her face,” Ryan said. “She’ll freak the hell out on me.”
“You sure you want to break up with her?” I asked. “I know I suggested it, but only do it if that’s how you feel.”
“Yeah, man, I’m sure.” Ryan typed out a message and sent it. “I thought it could work with her because the sex was so good, but I can get sex from anywhere. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I gotta feel that connection, you know? And I don’t with her.”
Connection. Like the one I felt with Emery. But Emery and I were nothing serious. The connection would be broken once summer was over.
Right?
“Shit, she just responded,” he said, eyes big.
“Already? Good luck with that.”
“Oh, she’s pissed.” Ryan texted her back, and her response came not even a minute later. For the next fifteen minutes, he had a text battle with Lexi. When our food arrived, he turned his phone on silent and flipped it over so he couldn’t see the screen.
“That bad, huh?” I asked, before taking a huge bite of my burger. As my teeth sank into it, juice dripped from the back. God, it was heaven on a bun.
“She’ll be a pain in my ass for a while,” he said, eating some fries. “But she’ll get over it.”
“Just don’t be a dick to her,” I said, feeling sorry for the girl. “Breakups suck. And, not to piss you off or anything, but you’ve been a shitty boyfriend. Least you can do is not make it worse by being nasty about it all.”
“First of all, fuck you,” Ryan said, pointing a fry at me. “Second… you’re right.”
“Say that again?” I asked with a smile.
“Fuck you.” He flipped me off. “There, I repeated it.”
I laughed and took a drink of my water.
“I’m gonna miss your ugly-ass face when we go off to college,” Ryan said, after we’d eaten a little more. “Gonna be weird not having you around.”
“I know.” Even though I’d eaten most of my burger and a crap load of fries, my stomach felt empty all of a sudden. “You might be an asshole, but I love ya.”
“Love ya too, man.” Ryan stuffed the last bit of burger into his mouth. He swept a gaze throughout the room, and I wondered if he avoided eye contact because he didn’t want his emotions to get away from him. His eyes were kind of glassy. Then those eyes narrowed. “You gotta be shitting me.”
“What?” I followed his line of sight and went still.
Emery was sitting at the bar. And he wasn’t alone.
One of the sexiest guys I’d ever seen sat beside him. Short blond hair that fell across his brow, a slender but athletic build, and a face so damn perfect I wondered if he was a model. He was leaning toward Emery, smirking as they talked.
I hated their body language.
I hated the spark between them.
I’d told Emery that Ryan and I had plans that night, and he’d been okay with it, saying he had plans as well. The plan in question laughed at something Emery said and took a drink of his beer.
Is he on a date? It sure as hell looked like one.
I felt sick, and I didn’t know why.
“Hey, can we get the check?” Ryan asked the waiter.
“I’m not done yet,” I said, tearing my gaze from Emery and the heartthrob.
“Then get a damn to-go box,” Ryan shot back, pulling out his wallet and tossing some bills on the table. “I’m not stayin’ here.”
Ryan placed forty bucks in the ticket book and gave it back to the waiter. “Keep the change.”
As he stormed away from the table, I cast another glance at Emery. He and the other guy were oblivious to us. Emery smiled and said something to the blond. I studied his perfectly styled black hair and his button-up shirt. Not business attire but not overly casual.
Date clothes.
“Dude, come on,” Ryan called from a few feet away.
The blond guy glanced over at me. He smirked and gave me a not-so-subtle wink.
What the fuck? Did he know who I was and was rubbing it in my face?
Emery then looked at me over his shoulder, and I froze. So did he. The blood rushed to my face, and my knees wobbled a bit. Then I turned and left the restaurant. Practically running. Ryan stood on the sidewalk waiting for me.
“About time you got your ass out here.”
“Sorry,” I said, trying my best to cover up my hurt feelings. Ryan would never understand why I was upset, not without me spilling everything to him. So, I jumped in with a question before he could ask me one. “Why did you wanna bail? Didn’t you want to say hi to your dad?”
“Hell no,” Ryan snapped, waving his hand around. “Not when he’s with that guy.”
“You k
now him?”
“Better than I want to,” he said, absolutely fuming. “I’m not talkin’ about this shit here. Come on.”
When he took off down the sidewalk, I followed him. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, and it was like he was punishing the ground for existing by how heavily he stepped on the cement. Once walking across the parking lot and sliding into his car—him slamming his door— we sat in silence.
“There’s something I haven’t told you, Cas.” Ryan started the car and turned on the AC before slumping back in the seat and looking out the window. “I feel shitty for not telling you sooner, but I’m still processing it myself, and honestly, I’m fucking afraid to tell anyone, including you.”
Oh, hell. I sensed what he was about to tell me, and I prayed like hell I reacted to it correctly. I was a horrible actor, so pretending I didn’t already know would be one heck of a challenge.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Play it cool. Play it cool.
“Over Christmas break, something happened,” Ryan said.
“Yeah, when we got back to school, you seemed kinda off.”
“Look, what I’m about to tell you can’t leave this car.” He looked at me, his blue eyes serious.
I nodded.
“My dad’s gay,” Ryan admitted, and the steering wheel creaked as he gripped it tighter. “I walked in on him making out with that guy from the restaurant. They were totally about to go at it in Dad’s office. I didn’t tell you because I’m ashamed of it.”
“Are you ashamed of him?” I asked, doing my best to shove away the image of Emery and the blond going at it hot and heavy.
“Yeah.” Then, he shook his head and sighed. “No. Fuck, I don’t know. All I know is it’s confusing as fuck. You’re not weirded out or anything by it? You’re taking this better than I thought.”
The thing was, I didn’t have to act like I thought I would. Because even if I hadn’t already known Emery was gay. Even if I wasn’t gay… I would’ve had the exact same reaction.
“No,” I said, releasing a breath. “A lot makes sense now, though. Like why you treat him like crap.”
“Dude, don’t even turn this around and make me the bad guy,” Ryan argued, turning in the seat to glare at me. “He kept that shit from me. Finding out like that was fucking humiliating.”
His Temptation Page 15
