by Zara Zenia
I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“You could just call her,” Lortnam suggested.
“I’m tired of just calling her,” I admitted.
“Then act,” Lortnam said with a tinge of frustration. “Do something about it.”
I watched as the dancefloor began to fill up, packed with joyful people enjoying endearing celebration. I wished I could find my inner happiness and be a part of my brother’s special day. It was all I could do to muster up the strength to stand in the corner and sulk while pounding champagne.
“Jinurak?” Lortnam had a quizzical expression on his face. “Are you in there somewhere?”
I snapped out of my trance and stared at him. “I’m here.”
“If you don’t want to consider Ariana as a potential mate, then perhaps you might feel better courting someone at the party?”
I wrinkled my forehead. “You mean here, now?”
“That’s right.” Lortnam nodded as if it was an option.
I exhaled slowly and stuffed my hands in the pockets of my tuxedo pants. I had been Lortnam’s best friend, a role I had taken pride in. I was honored to be there, standing on the alter with him as he exchanged vows with Kelly. I would be lying if I said I didn’t dream of wanting to experience the same wonderful love with another person.
It was the connection I wanted to feel. I wanted to have that spiritual meaning and depth attached to someone else, knowing that she was the only one for me. Did Ariana fit that description? I certainly saw the potential there.
When I didn’t respond right away, Lortnam gave me a pensive glance. “You don’t want any other woman at this party, do you?”
I looked at him. “Not particularly.”
“Then go after what your heart tells you,” he said with a shrug.
“I’m not sure what that is.” I chuckled.
Lortnam cupped his hand over my shoulder and squeezed. “When its love, you’ll know.”
The simplicity of his statement struck me to my core. That’s when I realized that he was right. I couldn’t give any attention to any of these women at the reception. Sure, they were pretty. Sure, they were dressed nice and smelled good. Yes, it was true that the majority of them probably had witty and charming personalities. There was much to be desired in this room full of the opposite sex.
There was just one problem. None of them were Ariana.
“I will consider it,” I finally said.
Lortnam pitched his eyebrows. “You’ll consider…what?”
“Inviting Ariana here to Baltimore for a visit.”
Lortnam beamed. His lips spread into a vivacious smile. “That’s the twin brother I know and love.”
I laughed. “Don’t get too excited. I didn’t say yes for sure.”
“I just want you to be happy,” Lortnam said again.
“You don’t have to worry about my happiness,” I assured him.
He grinned. “I’m your twin brother. It’s my job to worry about those kinds of things.”
At that moment, Kelly approached us. She had brown hair that had been pulled up into a fancy knot in the back with little spiraled tendrils going down the sides of her temples. She looked graceful and elegant. Her smile was bright and warm.
“Do you mind if I steal my new husband away for a dance?” she asked.
“Not at all.” I cast her a respectful bow and then looked at Lortnam. “We can discuss this matter at a later date.”
Lortnam winked at me. “Sounds good, brother.”
I watched as he was whisked away by his beautiful bride. My heart pounded. I was left wanting more. I needed to have what Lortnam had. What most of my brothers now had. Only Rawklix and I were left to linger in bachelorhood.
I just had to work up the courage to invite Ariana here on a visit. I needed to face my fears. I wasn’t afraid of commitment. I had come to Earth in the first place knowing that I was here to find a mate.
It was time to take control of my life. It was time to let fate work its magic. I had an opportunity here that I didn’t want to waste. Sometimes you just had to bite the bullet and go for it before life passed you by.
Chapter 2
Ariana
I sat in front of the window in my office, watching the snow fall in delicate flakes, fluttering across the sky. The ground was a sea of white, an ocean of purity. It was beautiful, yes, but I was tired of it.
I wanted to see the green grass again. I wanted to see proof that there was life out there underneath the blanket of heavy snow. What I wouldn’t do to see a zesty and perseverating yellow tulip protruding through the canopy of ivory.
I felt the edges of my lips curl into a humored grin. I could think of myself as a vibrantly yellow tulip in some ways. Here I was, dwindling away to nothing, just like a shriveled flower underneath the heavy weight of the snow.
My spirit was buried in there somewhere, just itching to uncurl, stretch and emerge from the darkness just like the first grass blade of the spring.
I flickered my gaze back to the screen of my laptop. I had been gazing for such an extended period of time out the window that my screensaver had popped up and the screen was black and blank, empty just like my mind.
I had come into my office in order to purposefully sit in front of the window, hoping to seek creativity and solace by the landscape outside, but the reverse effect had unfortunately been established. As soon as I realized it was snowing again, no matter how entrancing the fluttering rhythm of each flake was as it scurried in a frenzy to the ground below, it wasn’t enough to aid in my focus.
I took a deep breath, exhaling the weight of the world from my shoulders. I leaned back in my chair. It made a creaking whine in protest. I rubbed my tired temples and gently fluttered my eyes closed.
“You just need a break, Ariana, that’s all. You’ve been working yourself ragged lately, stretching yourself too thin. There’s a limit, and you are teetering on the edge of it.”
My verbal pep talk, wasn’t doing much benefit to cure my current vices. I opened my eyes again, and with a groan, I stood up and clamped my laptop screen shut.
“There,” I said. “That’s better.”
Rhetorically speaking, of course. It wasn’t better at all. I still had work to do. The words weren’t going to be displayed across the document with the screen closed. I knew that, of course. Nevertheless, I walked away from the computer to take a breather.
I wandered into my kitchen.
“Maybe a cup of tea will help cleanse your mind,” I said.
I had resorted to talking to myself, but that’s what inevitably happened when you lived alone in the middle of nowhere, upstate New York.
I had become accustomed to solitude, but sometimes living the isolated life could get a little disjointed. Sometimes it could be difficult not to have human contact outside of emails, texts or phone calls.
Nevertheless, I tried to live a contented life. My house was nestled away on about an acre of property that was tucked off of a main road. I had a long and winding driveway that ran parallel with a stream.
Right now, the stream was frozen solid, but in the summer time I enjoyed sitting out at the edge of the embankment, writing or just listening to the sound of the water carried downward with gravity, all while relishing in sun beams poking through the trees and warming my back and shoulders.
I rolled my eyes and glanced out the kitchen window. It seemed like it would be an eternity until spring surfaced again and the world woke up from its winter nap.
I twisted the sink faucet and filled my teapot up to the line, then I placed it on the stove burner and turned it on. I yawned and leaned up against the counter, staring into space.
“Okay, Ariana,” I told myself as I rubbed my face. I hoped that it would magically wipe the groggy, embittered feeling from my psyche. “You really need to snap out of this stupor now.”
I shuffled over to the kitchen table and started sorting through my mail while I waited for the water
to boil in the kettle. I began absentmindedly looking at each piece. A furnace bill here, a water bill there.
I put the ones I needed to keep in one pile and threw the rest away. I went to the bathroom and glanced at my reflection in the mirror.
“Well,” I said with a resigned sigh. “You certainly look as tired as you feel.”
My chestnut hair was pulled up in a sloppy, no-nonsense ponytail. My green t-shirt looked like I had just haphazardly strewn it on in the dark. My blue eyes looked red rimmed.
I decided to pull my hair out of the elastic band. I attempted to fluff my hair out across my shoulders. I pouted my lips and then laughed sardonically at myself.
“Who are you trying to impress?”
I flicked the light switch off and walked back in the direction of the kitchen when I heard the familiar sound of the kettle pot squealing on the stove burner. I made myself a cup of earl gray tea and forced myself to go back into my office.
I had to just dive in. I was having writers block, but that had happened to me before and I had been able to conquer mind over matter. I had my tea. I had the comfort of my blanket draped over my legs.
The snowfall had faded to a light trickle now. It wasn’t going to be a blizzard this time, but there was still ample amounts of snow on the ground. I couldn’t go anywhere until some of it began to thaw out. The winding backwoods were tricky to navigate under the icy conditions.
I had enough food stocked in my pantry and meat in my freezer to last me the rest of the winter. I would be okay. I was only cooking for one, so my portions lasted longer. It wasn’t as if I had an entire family to feed or anything.
I scratched the bridge of my nose. I was only nineteen. I didn’t need to worry about a family yet. I still had my whole life ahead of me.
Well, at least that’s what I was trying to tell myself before I went crazy within the silent walls of solitude. Convincing myself and living it out in reality were two very separate and clashing realms.
I lifted my lap top screen again and placed my hands to the keyboard. I worked as a freelance poet for various magazines and blogs. At this current time, I was working on a five-hundred-word piece about life in the wilderness.
One might think, five hundred words? That should be relatively easy to accomplish.
No statement could be farther than the truth.
The less words I had to compact into a presentable blog post, the more difficult it became. I often times had to shave a significant portion of what I had actually written and omit pieces altogether in order to get them to fit.
All rhetoric and regulations flew out the window when you found yourself boxed into the burden of creative stifling.
Of course, I didn’t want to complain. I was lucky by all standards. I got to work from home, and I loved writing. I loved my job, for the most part. Sure, I got lonely on occasion, but I worked better by myself anyway. I was better off here, nestled in the woods of my cozy cabin. I didn’t have to deal with mundane tasks and bureaucracy arguments. I was in my own personal haven where nobody could reach me.
So why was I experiencing such a substantial dose of writers block today? This wasn’t like me, honestly. I was usually intently focused. There wasn’t much that could break the barrier between me and my work.
So as soon as I took a deep breath and prepared to dive in, my cell phone starting buzzing at the end of the table.
I stared at it and blinked, and then my heart did a vivacious flip. It was Jinurak calling me. We had been engaged in a long distance type of relationship, albeit I was still uncertain about the course that we were steering in.
I knew that he lived in Baltimore. I knew that he was from the planet Trilyn. I was a few hours away in upstate New York. We had never met before, although we had been communicating back and forth via phone, email, text and sometimes FaceTime, although that wasn’t as frequent as the other means of conversing that we had been engaged in.
My heart raced as I reached for the phone. We had been chatting online more frequently lately, and I was wondering whether or not he was ready to take our friendship to the next level. More importantly, I was wondering whether I would be willing to oblige him if he did offer something.
We had met online after I had been involved in preparing some poetry to be read at an elaborate party for some kind of event that he had put together. It was my understanding that Jinurak would be the one doing the reading at the time of the shindig, but I wasn’t in attendance to listen to the work being poured out in front of an audience.
After that, things really took off from there between us. We had been discussing the poetry and the event right up until the day that it took place, and we had developed quite a repertoire together. We had a lot in common, and sometimes we spent hours talking on the phone about our lives and our hopes and dreams for the future.
That being said, there was still an element of mystery involved with Jinurak. He was a bit reserved, as was I, but I felt that he took it to the extreme. Every time we had an engaging encounter over the phone, he always seemed more interested in finding out things about me than being forthcoming about himself.
I took it all in stride. Maybe he was just shy. I could certainly relate to behaving a bit on the recluse side. First of all, I lived alone in a cabin in the woods.
Jinurak was fun to talk to. He said he came to Earth to take care of some business that involved intergalactic space travel. It sounded technologically advanced and fancy to me.
I was interested in what Jinurak had to bring to the table. He opened up my mind to new advances and opportunities, even if I hadn’t met him yet. He had this raw appeal, and I felt a magnetic attraction to him that I couldn’t explain.
I plucked my phone from the table and hit the answer button. “Hello?” I blurted out before my mind had a chance to talk me out of the conversation.
Yes, I had a significant amount of work to do, but maybe a little chat with Jinurak would provide me with a sprinkling of ambition and motivation that I needed in order to feel inspired about writing.
“Ariana?” Jinurak’s tone had a hopeful tone to it.
“Hi, yes.” I found myself involuntarily grinning. “It’s me, Ariana.”
“It’s great to hear your voice,” Jinurak said, sounding relieved.
“You too.” I grinned and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. I propped myself back in my chair. It let out the same squeaky sigh as it always did.
“Are you busy? I hope I’m not keeping you from something?” Jinurak asked. He was such a perfect gentleman. How did he always know how to be so polite? It was as if there was no culture barrier when it came to him and chivalry.
I stared at my blank laptop screen. “No.” I shook my head and cleared my throat. “No, absolutely not. You aren’t keeping me from anything.”
I nibbled on my lip. Okay, so maybe every now and then I was known to throw out a little white lie, but it was always for someone else’s benefit. In this case, that was Jinurak.
“Good.” Jinurak sounded pleased. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?” I twirled another strand of my hair around my index finger. I waited expectantly. I fidgeted expectantly. I had to keep my hands busy.
“Yes,” Jinurak said and let out a little cough. “I wanted to invite you to come to Baltimore for a visit.”
My stomach did a somersault and it felt like an entire army of butterflies was flying around in there too.
“Ariana?” Jinurak asked.
“I’m still here,” I said. I hadn’t realized that I had been pausing for several lingering moments without responding.
“Does that sound like something you would be interested in?” Jinurak quizzed.
I stood up and began pacing the floor of my office space. “Absolutely,” I said.
I heard ringing in my ears. My vision blurred. My heart pounded with elation and excitement. I was nervous, but also extremely enthusiastic about the prospect of meeting Jinurak in person. I
didn’t want to admit out loud how lonely I was, let alone to myself.
“That’s wonderful,” Jinurak’s voice chimed. I could tell that he was reassured at my favorable response.
I wondered what the occasion was, and why he was suddenly asking me to travel to where he lived for a visit. I was certainly excited, but I was also extremely nervous. The trip in itself seemed a bit daunting.
The weather conditions here in upstate New York this time of year were poor at best. I would probably have to call for a taxi or something. I wouldn’t want to risk driving down my driveway alone on the icy, slippery roads.
That being said, I was so sick of the miserable grayness outside, the bleak forecasts one after the other. I was tired of having to swaddle myself under layers of clothes and blankets just to try and keep warm.
“What’s the occasion?” I asked.
“None really,” Jinurak said casually. “I just figured maybe you would want to get away for a while.”
I chuckled. “You sure nailed it on the head on that one. It’s been snowing for days. There is a pile so big against my house that I could probably jump off the roof right into a snow bank and be okay.”
Jinurak laughed lightheartedly. I always enjoyed the masculine sound of his voice. I smiled and walked over to the window. I pressed my hand up to the glass. It was frigid against my skin.
I shivered and walked away, back into the living room. I sat on the couch and curled up under a blanket. Yeah. I could use some time away to clear my head and yield to my distractions.
“Great,” Jinurak said. “I just feel like since we’ve been talking for a number of months now, that maybe it was time we meet in person.”
I grinned. “I like that idea. Is it snowing there?”
Jinurak chuckled. “Not right now. Occasionally we will get a few inches, but it quickly melts away.”
“Good.” That was enough satisfaction for me.
“When do you want to start making the arrangements?” he asked.
I plucked my tablet from the coffee table. “Well,” said. “Is it okay if I look at my calendar and get back to you?”
