by Lotte Moore
Theo disappeared from her sight and a few minutes later appeared at the bedroom door.
“Hello, Vivi darling, I wondered where you were. Look, Sebastian’s fallen asleep.” He laid the tiny child beside her on the bed. “You’re looking very pale.”
Vivi stared fixedly at a small patch of sunlight on the carpet. “I want to talk about Russia. Now you’ve got a new agent you won’t be going to Moscow any more will you… especially not to see Sergei?”
“Probably not. Why do you ask?” Theo looked surprised. She held up Sergei’s letter. Theo blanched. “Where did you get that from?”
“I didn’t go looking for it. I found your pen under the piano and put it back in your desk. But I must know now exactly what this means. Sergei only wrote this four days ago. ‘I miss you so much,’ he says. ‘Moscow seems empty without you. If only you hadn’t been married!’ What is he talking about Theo?”
Vivi stood up, staring at Theo as he sank onto the bed. There was a deafening pause.
“Did you have an affair?” she asked. “I’ve often suspected something was going on by the way you spoke to him so tenderly but I told myself I was going mad.” Vivi stared at her husband’s crumpled body.
“There was something, I admit… a connection… but…” Theo swallowed hard, unable to speak.
“A connection!” Vivi shouted. Theo let out a wail of despair.
There was another silence before Theo eventually spoke. “I suppose it all began when I was very vulnerable, alone with a new orchestra, and living entirely in my world of music, forgetting my family and flattered by Sergei’s boundless attention. In the end, though, nothing actually happened. You must believe me!” “But, how can I? Look at this letter. Neither of you have finished the relationship, have you?” urged Vivi. Theo looked down. “Theo answer me!”
But instead Theo buried his head in his hands. Vivi shot him a look of disgust before marching out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Sebastien woke with a sharp wail.
Chapter Thirty Two
Aylesbury
Cheryl held a meeting about the future of the farm with Lang and Jacob. Both men listened to her idea of letting the fields.
“I’ll be able to help you with the ponies. There’s a lot of work keeping them creatures cleaned out,” suggested Jacob.
“Yes, that’ll be very useful. Now, Lang, I know it’s a big undertaking but are you definitely up for looking after the plantation? I know Jonty would have liked you to inherit the job and of course Jacob will help,” Cheryl asked.
“Yes, of course, I’d love to work in the woods. I’ve learnt a lot through being with Jonty. My only stipulation is that I must always be available for the kids, doing their school runs and homework,” he said.
Cheryl nodded. “Yes, naturally they’re your priority, I quite understand. I’m sure we can work something out.”
She went on to outline other ideas she’d had about organising different aspects of the farm. Lang was most impressed by her practical attitude. With help, she was obviously capable of running the whole farm, plus the riding school. He also felt a certain pride in being made responsible again at last.
Chapter Thirty Three
Oving
That evening, Lang told Serena about the meeting and how well Cheryl had organised the future of the farm without Jonty. Lang proudly told her of his role in charge of the plantation.
“Really? The whole thing?” asked Serena, amazed. “What happens if we move again?”
Lang was startled. “How do you mean, move? Where to?” Serena laughed. “Back to London, of course, darling.”
Lang was shocked. “Back there? Oh Serena, what’s got into you?”
“I’m earning a lot of money now. I’m one of the top designers in the business… we’ve got no more debt. Wouldn’t it be fun to slide back into our busy old London life?” She gazed at Lang’s amazed expression.
“I don’t understand you. Yes, you’re the breadwinner, and you’re amazing, but I never thought we’d move back to the rat race. Surely, we’re settled here now. The children love the country and so do I.”
“Well, I don’t,” she interrupted. “I always thought we would move back once we had the money. I thought you would be happy.”
“Going back to London?” Lang said, shaking his head. “This place is beautiful. Our kids are happy, and they are settled.”
“I want to move back Lang. I want our old life back—a big gorgeous house. Just think about it please.”
“Maybe if you spent more time here, you will see why me and the kids love it so much.”
“Excuse me! I’ve—”
“I have a job here now,” Lang said, cutting her off. “And I’m excited about it. I haven’t been excited about work… since forever. We’re staying Serena, so get used to it.”
Serena crossed her arms and glared at Lang.
Chapter Thirty Four
Notting Hill
“Hello Gems, sorry I haven’t been here for some days due to all the family problems,” said Serena.
“I understand. I wanted to know, how did Jonty’s funeral go?” asked Gems quietly.
“Oh, it was the saddest day ever, and all the children were so upset. And did I tell you? The police have caught the two men in the van. One was a local boy of only nineteen!” Serena adjusted her pearl earrings. “Have there been any enquiries about new work since I’ve been away?”
“Yes, this letter came in two days ago from a well-known footballer asking if you’d come and see his estate in Cheshire. He wants you to create an annexe to the main house. Also, the Qatar Embassy is still nagging you to design the upstairs rooms, and finally a Swiss banker wants to talk to you about organising his new property in Zurich,” said Gems.
“Phew! It looks as though I’ll be busy for the next few years,” sighed Serena. She sat down wearily. “Lang won’t be happy. I suggested we might move back to London and he shut me down. Cheryl’s asked him to take over the plantation and he seems really involved with country life, but it makes me restless. I miss the buzz of Kensington. We have no social life at all in Oving.”
“You’re so busy. How could you find time to socialise, even in London?” said Gems.
“I don’t know,” Serena said truthfully. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for all this success but I just miss my old life. I wish things could go back to the way they were. Lang working in the City without the debts, Jonty alive, our house, and the time I used to have with my kids.”
“I think you should hire more people to help. You’re only getting busier and busier. That way you can delegate more and see your family.”
“You’re right! I don’t want this train to slow down but I do need more people on board. Okay, let’s get the word out. I’m sure you could use some help.”
Gemma looked at her desk covered in paperwork and laughed. “Just a bit.”
Chapter Thirty Five
Chiswick
It was a gentle autumn morning and the spring tide was halfway over the road as Vivi walked along by the Thames. Anxious thoughts poured through her confused mind.
In all her married years, she’d never felt so shattered emotionally. Her love for Theo had not diminished but somehow felt invaded. Her doubts and a feeling of betrayal now bewildered every part of her. She had always known Theo was weak, vulnerable and insecure. Maybe that’s what appealed to her when they first met. She felt able to nurture him and encourage his obvious artistic talent.
Perhaps Sergei had felt exactly the same for this immensely creative human being? In all her counselling she had never come across such a confused love triangle.
The obvious devotion that Sergei had surrounded Theo with somehow nurtured his confidence. How had she failed him? Now she must find a way to fulfil all his needs so that he would never be seduced emotionally again.
Sebastian seemed to have strengthened their marriage. No more concerts in Russia would prevent the agonising absences that had upset
her and the children for so many long weeks. Somehow, she knew she had to find the strength to talk openly with him and hear how he felt.
Chapter Thirty Six
Aylesbury
Lang attended his first parents’ meeting at the children’s new school. A very friendly, rounded lady with curly, red hair sat chatting to him before they met the teachers.
“My twins love Mrs Perks. She seems to be a good all-rounder who captures their interest in every subject. You’ll meet her in a minute. You can ask her any questions about your kids’ work.” She smiled, reassuring Lang of the unknown task ahead.
Serena had always done the parents’ meetings in London but was far too busy now to attend any school functions.
Mrs Perks was indeed very effervescent and clearly enjoyed teaching Alicia. “She’s an amazing child and very observant too,” the teacher enthused.
Lang waited in another queue to meet Freddie’s teacher, Peter Mudd, who also liked his son.
“Yes, Freddie’s very capable but not very brave. A tiny cut to him is like having a leg off. Mind you, his maths is way ahead of the class. Must be Daddy’s influence,” said Mr Mudd, not realising the remark chilled Lang to his core after his recent downfall.
Lang returned to find bedlam at home. Maggie was chasing Freddie who had a spider in a jam jar and was trying to catch Alicia, who lay screaming on top of the banisters.
“Hello, Mr Lang, glad to see you back!” she said. “Benjie’s in bed but these two are over-excited. Oh! Mrs Serena rang to say she’s still in a meeting and expects to be back late.”
After their bath, Lang read a story to both children who snuggled up beside him on the bed, then told them about their good school reports.
“I love my new school,” said Freddie.
“I do too, but I miss my London friends,” said Alicia pensively.
Serena arrived home late that evening, a full hour after Lang had finished his own dinner.
“Sorry I’m so late, darling,” she announced, hurrying into the room. “I’ve had an amazing meeting with a new client called Lars Elmendorf, a Swiss banker. I had to meet him at the Savoy. He lives in Zurich and wants me to design part of his new home. He’d read about my work and knows Poppy Le Harvre. Do you remember that demanding actress whose flat I did?”
Lang took a deep breath. “You have had a busy time. Well, so have I. Are you going to ask about the parents’ meeting at school?”
“Oh my God, the parents’ evening! I completely forgot. How did it go?” she asked.
“It was good. The kids are settling in well and their teachers are very nice. Now darling, we must talk of future plans. Firstly, I hope you’ll never tell the children about the City incident. You know how I regret it all dreadfully, but our lives have changed since moving to the country. It’s less frenetic. There’s no rushing about. The children are happy and loving the countryside, it’s so much more peaceful except for you, my darling.”
Serena stared at him. “Lang, I said the other night I long to return to London. I’m restless here, yet I do love seeing you and the children so happy and contented, but we have no social life any more. We never see any friends.”
“But now your workload is so hectic there’s no time for us to socialise, so let’s try and change our times together so we can enjoy some fun like we used to. If you could allow weekends for us and the children, it would be so wonderful. We could go away, spend time with friends in London, go to the seaside,” enthused Lang, excited at his newfound ideas.
Serena’s face relaxed into a radiant smile. “That all sounds rather possible and exciting.” She wandered over to sit beside him.
Lang stroked her arm. “I long to lie in bed like the old days,” he murmured. “Chat and fondle each other. You’re so busy these days. You seem to be in the fast lane all the time, my Fig Tree.”
“I’m in it and I love it and I have to keep running, but I’ll try and slow down for you guys. I’m going to get more help.”
“Really?”
She kissed him, then pulled away and ruffled his hair. “Really.”
Chapter Thirty Seven
Kensington
Georgie ran towards Theo. “Daddy, I’ve reserved a seat for you in the front row just opposite the piano. Where’s Mummy?
“She can’t come because Sebastian is crying a lot. She sends her love, though,” Theo smiled. As soon as she turned away, Theo’s smile slipped.
He had a massive argument with Vivi about Sergei. He assured her he would never talk to him again, but he knew she didn’t believe him. He rubbed his hand through his hair. He was just thankful that she was still willing to work on their relationship.
Georgie went off to join all the musicians backstage. Theo felt quite emotional seeing the excitement on his daughter’s expectant face. He recalled all the various school concerts he’d played solo in. How nervous he’d been until his fingers touched the keys. Then he took off and played with great feeling, even at Georgie’s age, often finishing with a surge of emotion.
The bell rang, and the concert began with a duet played by two seven-year-olds. Georgie came on and played a charming Mozart piano sonata. Theo watched proudly, noticing her natural musicality. He realised she was playing just for him. Georgie took a bow and glanced at Daddy who was clapping enthusiastically.
There were some very talented flute players and a feisty drummer aged six. Georgie’s ensemble finished the concert with a simplified Beethoven string quartet beautifully played.
Chapter Thirty Eight
Chiswick
Returning home around 9.30pm, Theo tenderly kissed Georgie goodnight as Vivi took her up to bed. Theo handed Vivi a glass of wine, when she came back down to the living room.
‘I was really proud of Georgie’s playing at the concert. Her interpretation was beautiful,” he said.
“Yes, she’s practiced so hard lately and was thrilled that you were able to be there,” agreed Vivi. “She asked if you were going to be at home more and not go away so much. The eagerness in her face nearly made me cry. I assured her that things would be different now because you wanted to be with us more and your concerts wouldn’t be in Russia.”
Theo stood up. “But I still might perform in Europe, even America,” he emphasised.
“Yes, of course, but hopefully the huge emotional part of you won’t be torn in half like before. You might be away from us physically, but your heart will still be here.”
“I want that more than anything,” said Theo. There were tears in his eyes.
Vivi dried them with her hands. “I know you do,” she whispered.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Aylesbury
Beady had stayed on with Cheryl, helping to sort out Jonty’s clothes and papers. Just being there together in the evenings was a great comfort for both women. Beady remembered the awful emptiness when her husband had suddenly died.
They reminisced about Jonty’s various antics, often expecting him to amble through the kitchen door with hay sticking out of his hair.
Cheryl’s sorrow was always worse at night when she missed the hugs and warmth of Jonty’s body. During the day, she was so busy with the farm, the pony club, the shop and supervising the cheese parlour.
Hilary had also moved in for a few weeks because her kitchen was in chaos and all three enjoyed knitting jumpers for the shop or doing tapestry.
But it wasn’t just the women who were missing Jonty. Jacob too, was missing him and felt glad to have Lang’s company down on the plantation. They had prepared a large hole ready for the cedar tree to be planted in the centre of the wood.
On Friday morning, a lorry arrived with the bulky sapling and it took three men to lift it into the prepared hole.
“There, that will be a sturdy remembrance of our Mr Jonty,” Jacob said, as they all threw spades of earth over the roots.
“We’re bringing the ashes down tomorrow, I think,” said Lang. “The whole family will be here.”
*
On Saturday, Cheryl, Hilary and Beady had prepared a large picnic table for the family gathering. A white cake covered in little trees was the centrepiece with Jonty’s name on it.
Cheryl wanted the occasion to be relaxed for the children’s sake. She knew Jonty wouldn’t have wanted too many tears as his ashes came to rest in the beloved plantation.
Serena arrived with her children just as Cheryl was feeding the ponies. They ran into the stables to help her. Vivi and Theo walked into the kitchen with Georgie, Jago and sleepy Sebastian.
“I think we’ll all wander down to the woods now,” Cheryl said, holding the box of ashes.
All the children ran ahead, chasing each other down the slope. Slowly, the family assembled round the newly-planted cedar tree. For a few minutes everyone stood in silence, then Cheryl slowly opened the box and sprinkled Jonty’s ashes round the tree.
Beady put an arm across her shoulder as Cheryl whispered, “Goodbye my darling.”
Everyone was still, then a little wail issued from the bundle in Theo’s arms. “Better get him back to the house,” he said quietly. “Come on, kids.”
Slowly everyone started walking back up the hill. Vivi and Lang remained.
“Well, we’ve both got fast lane partners who we can’t control, but at least we all have each other. I wonder how we’ll survive the years to come,” said Lang.
“Only with love,” Vivi replied, threading an arm through his as they began slowly to walk away.
All the trees were left alone, whispering in the light breeze.
About the Author
As a child, Lotte lived in Kent with her parents who enjoyed entertaining, political debates and literary discussions with the likes of Charlie Chaplin, Winston Churchill, H E Bates, W H Auden and Benjamin Britten.
She was often lonely and turned to writing (stories, diary, poems and letters) to express her feelings of isolation. In her early teens her commitment turned to ballet and point shoes replaced the pen. She was selected by the Royal Ballet School to dance in the Opera Ballet. When rejected for growing ‘too tall’ Lotte turned to acting and intermittently to writing.
