Where was Warden? I hadn’t seen him today. Judson and Derrick were missing as well.
“So what’s going on? Where is everyone hiding except the two of you?”
Trace led us toward the water. Not that there was much choice. We were on an island. I’d run around it my first night kidnapped, hoping to find any way off. There wasn’t. Of course, then the lake had been frozen.
It wasn’t now.
“Noticed that, did you?” Trace finally answered me. “They’re all in the basement. Judson is going over everyone’s plans for taking down the Alliance. Derrick is plotting murder, and Warden is looking for evidence of the rest of them online. We’d all be down there but I’ve sort of had enough of the rest of the people here, and Kade just hates everyone.”
I laughed. “He does not.”
“He does, trust me on that. Well, not you. Kade doesn’t hate you. That was really surprising over the last seven months.” He pointed at the trees. “We get autumn weather in Virginia, but not like this. I’ve really never seen leaves change like they do in Vermont.”
I stopped to look up at the leaves on the trees. He was right, and I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice. “You’re right.”
Had there ever been so many colors to light up an autumn day? I touched one of the big trees near me, feeling the rough bark under my hands. “There’s a smell to it we don’t have at home.”
“A nip in the air.”
I let go of the tree and touched Trace’s black sweater instead. Trace. The man in black. He always wore black because he was severely color blind. “Can you actually see the leaves on the trees? Their colors?”
He shifted his feet. “You caught me. Probably not the way you see it. But I can see the shades are different. I’ve heard people talk about the colors of the leaves.”
“And you were making conversation to distract me from what you just said about Kade?” I leaned against the tree. I was weaker than I could ever remember being. My legs shook from just the little bit of walking we’d done.
“Oh, I’ll tell you what I meant about that. No, I wanted to see the dreamy look you got in your eyes when I talked about the leaves. I liked it. I did it. For just a second, you were somewhere else, not still stuck in that basement.”
I blinked. “I’m not still stuck in that basement.”
“Yes you are. Not physically, obviously. But your mind is in that basement. Whoever you are going to be because of this still hasn’t come out to show herself yet. So yes, I wanted you to look at the leaves. I manipulate people. That’s what I do. And Kade’s devotion to finding you over the last seven months matched my own. That was shocking. I wouldn’t have thought he had it in him. He’s usually pretty averse to giving a shit about anything or anyone.”
I swallowed, surprised by the tears that flooded my eyes. “Maybe you all just feel guilty because I ended up in that situation because you bothered me to begin with.”
“I’ve never felt guilty in my whole life. That’s the truth. I don’t do guilt. Neither does Kade. But I care about you. That’s surprising to me, too. Kade isn’t the only one who doesn’t usually give a shit.” Trace wiped a tear that found its way out of my eyes off my cheek. “Whatever you need, you can have, Everly. Anything in the world that can be gotten I’ll get for you.”
I squeezed his shirt in my hand. “What’s going to happen to me, T?”
“I talk about my feelings and you pull out a letter? Hmmm. Kade and I might not be alone in the avoidance category about emotions. Looks like you fit right in.”
I leaned my head on his chest. “Too much.”
“It’s not. You have to get out of whatever this is. You’re not sick anymore. Jud stopped the antibiotics. You’re eating. Your color is better. If you have the energy to take off Kade’s head, then it’s time to get out of that basement, Everly. Be here with me.”
I shoved at him, suddenly not wanting to be held. He didn’t budge. I wasn’t small but he was stronger. Trace rolled his eyes at me. “You want me to be here, Trace? Fine. I’m here. I’m not in the basement where I only ended up because you interfered in my life to begin with. You may not have given me to Ben but you are why I ended there in the first place.”
“You had no life. You had an existence and you were drowning in boredom. Yes, it’s our fault he took you. I own that. If I could undo it, I would.”
We shouted at each other now. I almost couldn’t believe it was happening. That last statement was the closest to an apology I was going to get from Trace. He didn’t do I’m sorry. As he’d said, guilt didn’t factor in his life.
“Why did you leave the way you did after I got concussed? Why did you treat me like that? I know we said we weren’t going to have feelings, but you didn’t have to make it so I was nothing at all.”
He sighed, some of the stiffness from his shoulders going away. “Because I’m an idiot. You got under my skin. And I decided to just… be done with you before I could get any more involved. But it didn’t work out like that. I couldn’t stop thinking of you. Couldn’t stop imagining what you were doing with Warden. With Kade. Judson. Derrick. And it left me… worse off. Then you were taken from us and I’ve spent the last seven months not able to think about anything else. I keep faking it, Everly, but I’m not okay. I wasn’t in the basement. I’m not saying I was. But I’ve worried about you every second.”
I wrapped my arms around him, and I let Trace hold me. It mattered that someone cared. I’d been alone, wondering if there was a person in the world who gave two shits about where I was. It turned out he was right here.
He put his nose into my scalp, and I heard him audibly breathe. “The problem is that they all feel that way about you. And you didn’t like the idea of following us around. We’ve got to figure things out. You’re going with Derrick tomorrow. Unless, you want to go see James Robert with me.”
I shuddered. “No. Absolutely not.”
His mouth pressed into mine. Trace wasn’t a gentle lover, I knew this about him, but he kissed me like I might break. I held onto him and didn’t push him for more because I didn’t think I could handle any more. He was right. I was still in that basement. Even on this beautiful day with leaf colors he couldn’t see.
* * *
When we finally got back to the house, the sun was setting. I hadn’t wanted to rush a moment. We’d ended up sitting on the ground and watching the water hit the shoreline. I’d put my head on his shoulder. There weren’t too many quiet moments with Trace. We’d had a few in the Caribbean but then he’d done just as he said he had and run for the hills. If he was willing to sit, I was happy to do so as well.
I rubbed my nose on his shoulder, wishing I could sink into his warmth.
“You’re getting cold,” he’d whispered in my ear. “Come on. Let’s get back inside before you get sick again. I’m not sending you off with Derrick unwell. It’s not that he wouldn’t care, he would extremely, he just wouldn’t know what to do about it.”
I shook my head. “You know, I actually take really great care of myself when I’m not coming back from hell.”
He made a noise I couldn’t decipher. Those were the last words we exchanged before sitting on the couch. Kade’s typing didn’t seem quite so bothersome. He looked up when we got in. “You guys just missed Derrick. We’ve got Josh. He’s leaving to go get him. Don’t worry, he’ll be back in the morning.”
Assuming he didn’t get killed on his errand of death. The thought struck me hard. Derrick was going to kill someone right now. I’d seen him do it twice before. Once to help save Trace and me from assassins, and once to take out a member of the Alliance. Kade talked about it like it was a given Derrick would be back.
“Did he go alone?”
Kade shook his head. “Nope. He took a group who does this with him. Some people will meet him there. They’ll be discreet. No black helicopters in Aspen.”
I sat down on the couch, Trace sitting right next to me. My stomach clenched.
Poor Derrick. Did he actually like doing this or was it just something expected of him so he did it? He’d said no once and somehow Alyssa had gotten involved and she’d been killed. Did he just not say no now?
“Don’t worry about him. He doesn’t even feel it anymore.” Trace put his feet up on the coffee table and turned on the television. I put my head back on his shoulder.
I wasn’t sure if that was what got Kade’s attention or if he was just done typing, but all of a sudden the force of all his focus weighed on me. He tilted his head to the side. “Well, don’t you two look cozy?”
I lifted my head, but Trace nudged his shoulder until I put it back down. “We had a nice walk.” His tone must have been meant to tell Kade to fuck off.
Kade didn’t get that message. “You were supposed to be helping her get some exercise, get some sunshine. Not whatever this is.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing I don’t take orders from you. Never have, never will. What I do when I walk around with Everly is none of your fucking business.”
Okay. I’d had enough testosterone. I got to my feet. “I need a shower, and I guess I’ve got to see if I can stand the water on my back. Warden had to get in the shower with me to help me last time.”
Now, I had both their attention
Trace’s eyes widened. “He did what?”
I turned and left the room. I didn’t know what prompted me to get that dig in I knew would make both of them turn green, or in Kade’s case greener. I just did. I wasn’t going to overthink things. Life was too damned short for me to be worrying about every little thing. As Trace pointed out, I had relationships with all of them. One way or another, we were going to have to figure things out.
Well, I hadn’t slept with Derrick or Judson yet. If I was going off with Derrick, whenever he got back from his adventures in murder, then I was probably going to have sex with him at some point. The thought struck me hard. Was I ready to get back to having sex? I didn’t know. I supposed I’d figure it out at the time.
I liked kissing Trace. It had definitely… woken me back up to the idea.
Judson and I hadn’t slept together, and I didn’t know what was going to happen with that. He liked to tie people up in sex, and he wanted consent, which he hadn’t felt I could give him while I was his captive. What did that mean for now? I didn’t know either.
So much to worry about. Or not, as the case turned out to be, since life had a way of dropping me on my ass and kicking me around in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I supposed it was all going to work itself out.
The hot water wasn’t comfortable, but it didn’t make me want to run screaming from the shower, so I closed my eyes and just let the wetness run all over my body. It was time to get a grip. First off, I had to…
The door to the bathroom swung open with a bang, and I whirled around in the shower to poke my head out of the curtain. If there was another attack, I might start to take it personally. I couldn’t have to go hide every time I risked getting naked in the shower.
Kade leaned in the doorway. “How’s your back?”
“Not as bad. Manageable but definitely interfering with my ability to rinse away my troubles.”
He snorted. “Honey, that’s what they make vodka for.”
I shook my head. “Not my liquor of choice.”
He stepped toward me. “What was your liquor of choice? I don’t think we ever did this discussion.”
“You want to do it now? While I’m in the shower?” I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, which took considerably less time than it used to, considering how little hair I had left on my head, comparably. I rinsed off the rest of me and stepped out to a towel being held out to me by Kade.
He grinned at me as he wrapped me in it for a second. I stared at him. He seemed very at ease standing in my bathroom waiting for me, like it was something we had done many times before.
What had he asked me? Oh, that was right. “I like bourbon. But I’d rather drink wine more than anything else.”
When he picked me up in his arms, I gasped. What was he doing? He sat me down on the counter, staring at me for a second. Neither of us spoke but my heart rate rapidly kicked up. Was he asking me something without using words?
Kade was so handsome. I’d thought he was a bully when I’d first woken up in this place. I wasn’t wrong. He was one. That didn’t mean I wasn’t really into him. That said more about me than it did about him.
“I don’t know if I’m physically up for it, Kade,” I answered his unasked question. “I could barely walk around outside without getting tired.”
He stroked a finger down my cheek. “Let me give you pleasure. I’m not asking to be inside of you, yet. I want to make you come. I want you to feel good, and I want to be the one to do that for you.”
I swallowed. “I’ve never been particularly comfortable with unreciprocated pleasure. If you make me come, I’m going to want to make you come, and I’m not sure I have it in me yet.”
“Everly.” He kissed my lips. “I can make myself come. I can grab onto my dick and stroke it until I spill. I’m not worried about my coming. I want to make you. I’ve been thinking of little else at night since we lost you.”
I ran my hand over the slope of Kade’s nose. He really was so handsome. Coupled with how dang intense he was, I could easily become obsessed with him. If I was still capable of the emotion.
“I don’t know if I can. I’m not sure I can get out of that basement, out of my head, long enough to really let go.”
He shook his head. “With my mouth on you, gorgeous, I can make you come. I promise.”
“I want to.” There it was, I’d said it. I’d owned it. Maybe it was too soon and maybe I was crazy, but I did want Kade to make me come.
He pushed my hair off the side of my face. “I know you do.”
Kade kissed me square on the mouth as he pulled my towel away from me and set it down on the floor. The room was still warm from the heat of the shower, and I wasn’t sure there was anywhere I could be with Kade that I wouldn’t feel the heat off his body. He kissed and kissed me, starting just lip to lip but eventually moving so that he licked the outside of my mouth. I grinned before I pushed forward, pressing my tongue between his lips. He moaned against me.
“This is my show, Everly. You’re just taking a ride. Keep your tongue in your mouth.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
For now, that would be fine. Maybe next time…
He kissed my neck, finding the spot right beneath my ear, and I shivered. Yes, I really liked it there. He traveled down my neck using his mouth gently, as though every kiss was a caress. Another one. Then another one.
He kissed down the length of my body, stopping to spend a lot of time sucking on my nipples. I leaned back against the mirror, which stung but wasn’t awful, and the feeling passed quickly. I wasn’t sure I could have supported my own weight if I wanted to. Pinpricks of pleasure broke out on my skin, and I sighed.
“Kade.” I didn’t know why I said his name, and it didn’t seem to stop him from what he did. That was good. The last thing I wanted was for him to be interrupted.
He made his way toward my legs, kissing around my vagina but never touching it. Every time I thought he was going to go where I wanted him, he didn’t. I squirmed. Why wasn’t he touching me where I needed? The buildup was almost too much.
Kade met my eyes one time and winked at me. He had a ridiculously smug expression on his face that I shouldn’t have found so fucking sexy, but I did. The man knew I wanted this, and damn if he wasn’t right.
Wanting him and slightly disliking him at the same time was a familiar feeling for me. This was normal.
He moved his head, keeping his tongue steady why he did and—fuck—he licked me. In a giant stroke, he licked me over and over again, each pass of that tongue brushing my clit. I let out a long breath. He barely touched me. In the same way that he’d teased me by not touching my vagina, he teased instead of pressed.
I
caught my breath as I squirmed on the counter. This was the definition of sweet torture. He didn’t rush, every second of it was slow. I gripped the counter and tried to hold on.
My body wanted release, but it wasn’t going to get it any time fast. He was clearly not in any rush.
“Kade.” This time his name came out on a breath of desperation, but he didn’t speed up. My breasts ached. I hadn’t known it was possible for my body to actually buzz, yet apparently it was. I could feel pleasure building inside. It traveled up and down my spine with a zing, like an electrical current igniting inside of me. Everything was too much and not enough.
I said his name again. And then again. The son of a bitch… slowed down. Every twitch I made slowed him again until I couldn’t even concentrate on what he was doing because this was the longest, most agonizing orgasm I’d ever had. I didn’t know it could feel like this, I didn’t know it could take so long. Coming was an explosion most of the time or a trickle, not this endless pulsating frustrating…
I came. Differently than I ever had. It was both an explosion and a release. It was everything. Colors. Feelings. Trembling. I might have hit my head on the mirror, but I didn’t even notice.
Kade pulled away from me, drawing me against his chest while I still shook. My body continued to pulsate, to throb. Tears fled my eyes. Yes, I’d needed this release. For so many reasons. Kade had been the first person I’d seen when I’d woken up with the wool taken off my eyes and learned of The Letters. It was somehow apropos that I was in his arms now. I held on and he held me, too.
Maybe it was the first step out of the basement.
Chapter 6
Not since the first night had any of The Letters gotten in bed with me to sleep, so when my bed dipped, it woke me up. I gasped. Was Ben here?
“Easy.” Trace’s voice in my ear. “Just me. I’m not going to see you for a while. Thought maybe we could sleep together.”
Dark Truths: Kiss Her Goodbye #2 Page 6
