Alana shrugged. “I had to watch from the sidelines while he dated you.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what he saw in you that I couldn’t give him. I let him fuck me almost every day. I dressed up for him and even learned to cook his favorite meal. I put so much into this relationship and he fucked up. He dumped me like… I was nothing. I did nothing.” Her voice rose. “I put my hundred percent into it and he didn’t see me the way he should’ve seen me.”
Alana cried and I couldn’t help the way my heart clenched. I didn’t know. Unintentionally, I had become the cause of her pain. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She shook her head and reached inside the mattress cover. Pulling out a pack of cigarettes, she raised one to her lips, lighting it.
“Should you be smoking now?”
Alana waved her hand. “I need this now.” She blew the smoke and I closed my nose. Her eyes softened on noticing my baby bump. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She threw it away, going to open the windows wider. “Boy or a girl?”
“We haven’t checked yet.”
She nodded. “I didn’t plan to seduce him when we were in Paris. We had a stressful day and I needed a drink. Brian joined me, saying he wanted to grab a beer. We hit a club and got drunk. He kissed me first in the elevator. The next morning I woke with little memory of that night. When I realized what happened, I wanted to stop. A part of me rejoiced to have him back.”
It was hard to hear her confession. After everything I knew I had to give her a chance to explain. If we were like normal sisters and on speaking terms, none of this would’ve happened the way it did.
“I loved him, Ari. I truly loved him. I knew you haven’t let him sleep with you and thought maybe, just maybe...” She wiped the tears off her face. “He came to my room every night after that. I thought he changed his mind. But once we wrapped the trip, he acted as nothing happened between us and wanted to run right back into your arms. And I couldn’t lose him again. I wanted him and couldn’t imagine a life without him. So, I lied to him.”
“You claimed you were pregnant.”
Alana nodded. “I did.”
I get that now. What started as a simple misunderstanding became her necessity when she couldn’t stop. But I didn’t know what to feel. Should I think about the pain she caused me or the pain I unintentionally inflicted on her?
“Why would you cheat on Brian then?”
“He didn’t love me. I realized it a few days after our engagement. He couldn’t forget you and it took a toll on me. He worked a lot and barely spend time with me. I believed marriage would change it.” The crestfallen look was back on her face. “It didn’t. He was the same. When he came home, he just wanted to cuddle. I don’t know if he realized what he was doing, but he didn’t spend time with me anymore.”
My phone buzzed, flashing Orlando’s name. With a nod, I stood, disconnecting the call. “I have to go.”
Alana stood. “Does this mean you forgive me?” she asked.
Is that, hope I see? I swallowed. After all these years, I had my answers, but am I ready to forgive her?
“I don’t know.”
Alana nodded and we stood awkwardly for a bit. What do I tell her? When words failed, I turned to leave the room.
“Wait.”
“Yes?” I turned to face her again.
“Will you come again?”
“Do you want me to?’
She shifted to her other foot. “If that isn’t too much to ask.” She smiled nervously, chewing her lower lip.
Looking down, I admired the floor, the wheels in my head turning. Do I want to see her again? My phone rang again. Ugh! Orlando’s stupid timing. That impatient oaf. “I’ll see you next week.”
Her smile brightened and this time it was real. It suited her better. With an answering smile, though tight-lipped, I slipped out the room, feeling lighter in a long time.
Epilogue
Brian Schultz
Four years later
A black sedan pulled away from the otherwise deserted parking lot. Alana sat in my car, sipping the soft drink I bought for her. It had been four years since I left Linnesse. I kept tabs on her treatment and supported her in every way I can.
When I asked her what she wanted after she got out of the rehabilitation center, she said she wanted to start over. Only this time without me. She wanted a divorce. Though I wanted us to give our relationship another chance, I adhered to her wishes. Now we waited outside the building, where our attorney’s office was located.
“Here are the papers.” I whipped around meeting my attorney, Robertson’s gaze.
“Thanks.” I took the documents from him with a grim nod. It didn’t take long to finalize the divorce with everything that had happened in the past. But I couldn’t help the discomfort coiling inside me.
Walking toward my parked car, I slipped into the driver’s seat, wordlessly handing the papers to her.
“Thank you,” she murmured. Alana made no move to open and read the papers. She just looked outside, tears stained her cheeks.
In these four years, she hadn’t changed much. Faded jeans and t-shirt replaced her once custom-made clothes. It was so out of her style. Her blonde hair didn’t shine anymore. She pulled roughly pulled it into a ponytail with a few loose strands framing her makeup-free face.
“I told you, we didn’t have to go through this.”
Why? I didn’t know. Maybe it was because I felt responsible for everything. Or because I couldn’t bring myself to solely blame her. Or I still felt something for her. I knew she’d been changing jobs and frequently moving once she was out of the rehabilitation.
“I know.”
She’d refused the alimony I offered to pay. Simply tore the check and returned the pieces to me. “You sure you don’t want the money?”
“No.” She shook her head.
“Alana, what can I do to help?” I didn’t like the way she shut me out. I wanted to be there for her, dammit. What did I expect? The time in Europe hadn’t changed much about the way I felt. Disgusted and ashamed for what I did to both the women I loved. I had only one word to describe myself, immature.
“You already did enough to help.” Her smile grew sad. “I want to move on. You remind me too much of the past I want to forget.”
My throat constricted as I nodded. Right. I am her past now. But why the hell did it hurt too much? I didn’t want her once. I was ready to dump her for her sister. Hell, I did that twice. What changed?
Perhaps, it was because I saw how similar she was to me. We both grew in a similar environment with overbearing parents, who always dictated every step we took. I should’ve been more understanding then. Only I wasn’t.
“How are your parents?” she asked, changing the topic.
“I don't know.” I sighed, cranking the engine. “We haven’t talked in a while.” Not since I left for Europe. My new business venture flourished. That was all I needed to focus on now.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for? You did nothing. So, where do you want me to drop you?”
“I stay in the St. Francis street. I rented a bed and breakfast.”
I knew that place. It was a neighborhood filled with blue-collar workers. I stepped on the gas, easing into the traffic.
“I can give you some recommendations. You don’t have to stay in Linnesse. You can leave this country if you want. Start fresh.”
“I have some savings to get by and I’m sure I can find something.” She refused my help again.
Stubborn. My grip on the wheel tightened. I didn’t know what to do anymore. She was adamant about her decision and I knew she wouldn’t listen. When we reached the worn-out building she stayed in, I parked it and turned to see her. My heart raced. “Will I see you again?”
“Thank you for everything, Brian. It’s better if we don’t ever meet again.” She leaned over, pressing her lips on my cheek.
“Why?” My voice cracked as I cupped her face. “I know I remind you of the past
. But why would you want to cut me off? I want to know how you are doing?”
Alana cupped my hands. “You stayed when everyone left me. I owe you. But our past holds too many memories that are painful.” She removed my hands from her face. “It hurts me every time when those memories resurface.” Alana looked away, taking a deep breath. “You may not realize it now. But if we are together again, our past will ruin what we have now.”
I nodded in understanding. My throat constricted.
“Thanks for understanding. You’re a good man. I wish you a good life, Brian. Goodbye.” She slipped out of the car and didn’t look back. So, she didn’t notice the stray tear that had rolled down my cheek.
Watching her back disappear into the building, I sat there unable to bring myself to drive away. A heaviness I couldn’t fathom had settled in my heart and it took all my strength to just shift the gears and step on the gas again. Why did it have to end this way?
I’ll miss her and I’ll live with this guilt forever. “Goodbye, Alana.”
***
Orlando Cortez
Six years later.
“I thought you had an early meeting.” She tried to wiggle out of my grasp as I kissed her neck, nibbling the soft skin.
“Mhmm...” I hummed, trailing my lips further down her bare arms.
“Orlando...” She gasped when I cupped her heavy breast, massaging them. She’d gained weight, baby weight from delivering our twins and she couldn’t be more gorgeous in my eyes. I loved the way she flaunted her mommy belly with no care in the world. We had three children—a four-year-old boy and my twin baby angels born six-months ago.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” I growled, sucking at her nipple, sweetness exploding in my mouth. With a groan, I had to unlatch myself because she had to feed the babies. Kissing the valley of her breasts, I turned her so I can position against her entrance.
Her chuckle vibrated against my lips. “I don’t fit into my ‘L’ sized clothes anymore and you call me beautiful.”
Lifting my head, I stared at her succulent lips. “Because it’s the truth. In my eyes, your beauty has no bounds.”
She laughed again, a sweet joyous sound that warmed my heart. “I like it when you call me beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.” I kissed her, a slow and sensual tangle of lips before pulling back.
With a shake of her head, she pushed at my chest. “You’re already five minutes late. Go, shower. I have to check on the kids.”
I pushed her back on the bed, pinning her there with my body. “You’re not going anywhere and Enrique can handle the meeting. Gaby won’t let the children of her sight, so you, my dear, have only one thing to do right now. That is pleasing your husband.” My lips grazed the sensitive area behind her ears.
“And how do I do that?” She tilted her head, a playful smile playing on her lips.
“Like this...” I entered her, earning a deep moan that drove my senses wild.
“Perfect. Hot and tight.” My movements were slow and tender. Oh, I missed having her like this. The second pregnancy had been hard on her that sex was off the charts and I was finally glad to have her all to myself.
“Orlando...”
“I like it when you say my name.” Kissing her again, I wrapped myself around her as the world faded around us.
***
The drive to the work a few hours later took longer than usual. Sheila greeted me when I entered my office.
“Isabela called again from a different number,” she said.
“What did she want?”
“You know the usual demands and so on.” Sheila shrugged. Her left hand cradled her growing baby bump. “Sir, I’d like to leave early. I have a doctor’s appointment this evening.”
“Sure. Take the rest of the day off,” I said. “Choose an intern from the marketing division and train him or her to handle your responsibilities.”
An understanding smile spread across her lips. “I will. Thank you.”
With another curt nod, I headed to my office. Isabela was simply the pain in the ass. We won the case against her. Benjamin proved how she got those signatures without Papa’s knowledge. Despite the restraining order, she kept coming back, always calling and demanding money. The last thing I heard, her lover left her for another woman and now she was homeless.
Leaving a quick text to Benjamin about her, I switched on the flat screen, sifting through the news channels as I got to work for the day. A sigh drifted past my lips.
After spending the weekend with the children it felt good to be back in the office and work in a peaceful environment. Peace. Ah, the silence was heavenly. I could only wonder how Arianna felt managing our three children all by herself. I should give her more credit.
Though Gaby often visited and stayed to help, with Mike’s child on the way she wouldn’t be able to visit often now. I’d have to hire a nanny for both Micah, my son and Lukas, Enrique’s son. Both were a year apart and wreaked havoc if not supervised.
My phone buzzed with a message and I opened it to see an image of the toothless grin of my daughters. It vibrated again, this time a video where they laughed as Gaby gave them a bath. Twin girls with her blonde hair and my gray eyes. My angels.
A warmth spread across my chest. Gone was the mood to work. I replayed the video. Ugh! I already missed them. Screw the silence and peace. There was a joy in watching them all day. Nothing compared to the laughter Micah or Lukas gave when they rode on their grandpa’s back.
Quickly postponing a few things, I headed home. After years of wallowing in misery, I didn’t deserve, now it was time for me to relish the love.
Happiness was all mine.
The End.
Author Note: Can’t get enough of the story and characters? Scroll down for a bonus chapter. You can also read more bonus chapters on my Inkitt account. Alternatively, subscribe to my newsletter.
Bonus Chapter #1
Alana Swanson
Seven years later
With shaky hands, I secured the last pin on my hair and smoothed the non-existent creases on my simple white dress that ended a few inches below my knees. Butterflies fluttered in my belly as I gazed into the mirror. I’m getting married.
Memories from my past shoved too hard and before I knew I was in the room with my friends. Friends I grew up with. Professional stylists skirted around me as my friends made fun and laughed while I got ready for my big day.
I pushed the unwanted memories aside and blinked my tears away. No. Don’t go there. I had come a long way since then. The path to redemption wasn’t easy. People judged me at every turn. I took it all because I deserved it for what I did to my sister.
My throat constricted. I lifted my hand to rub my chest where it hurt. Guilt still ate away at me and my only consolation came from knowing Arianna was better off with Orlando, her true love.
“Hey.”
I quickly averted my face and brushed off the stray tears as my fiancé of six months entered the small room.
“Hey.” I gave him a small smile, trying to avoid eye contact. Despite my attempts, I knew Curtis could read me like an open book.
“Don’t think about it now.”
I nodded as he guided me out of the room and then to his car. A simple four-seater. It had none of the luxury leather interiors I was used to once. But the hard seat and the worn-out interior offered an odd comfort I grew to like. It gave a sense of belonging. After all these years, I didn’t feel like I had to be someone I wasn’t.
Curtis revved the engine and stepped on the gas, the car jerked before shooting forward and laughter bubbled out. It had always been like this and I enjoyed it. The car appeared as if it was tethering to a thread, but it did the job.
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. A breath slipped past my lips and the next breath relaxed my lungs. As the sceneries passed by, the day I got divorced from Brian surfaced in my memory.
Brian wanted another chance. He met me again after a year
of our divorce. But I didn’t want to go back yet. It hurt to see him leave. I felt like I could have it all when he announced he wanted to start over. That he couldn’t forget our time together Only it didn’t feel right. It still reminded me of the dark days and events I struggled to forget.
While I still loved Brian, I guess I was too afraid to go back. I didn’t want to feel that insecurity again. He left with a crestfallen face and all I wanted to do was to hug him and never let go. But I had to think of the life I’d have with him and it was better to let it go.
I’d never be able to live with him without fearing he’d leave me again. A part of me will always love him and care for him, but rekindling just couldn’t happen. I couldn’t let it happen. This time if he walked away it’d kill me.
“You’re doing it again.” Curtis’ words pulled me out of my thoughts. “You zoned out.”
“I can’t help it.”
He nodded. “It’s okay. I’m here with you.” His lips brushed on my wrist this time, lingering over my pulse.
When we reached the venue, a chapel in Westbanks we were half an hour early.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He left me in the car and I held my hands together, trying to hide their tremble.
I met Curtis two years ago in the supermarket where I worked. He owned one of the hardware stores in this part of the town. What started as random conversations soon turned serious when he asked me out for a date. Curtis was persistent. After turning down multiple dates with him, I finally accepted on a rough day, just hoping for a quick dinner and talk with someone, who didn’t look at me like I was a freak.
And to say, it worked better than I could ever hope for.
“You sure she’ll come?” Curtis came back.
“I don’t know.” My voice was low when I replied. I didn’t know. Arianna visited me again after a week and then again every month until I was out of the rehab. She barely talked, but she came. And I was glad she came.
Resisting Her (Moving On Duology Book 2) Page 25
