“Ha-ha.” Makenna glares at her. “I see what you did there.”
Jo sticks her tongue out at her before focusing on Iris. “What about you, pretty girl? Do you wanna come see the chicks and horses?”
Iris nods.
“Don’t be shy. You’re too precious to hide away.” Patting my hand, Jo adds, “Just like your mommy. Too pretty.”
Her openness reminds me of my mother. The way she could talk you into a smile. There’s an upbeat, friendly tone to her voice to go with her appearance. Jo is all milky skin and faint age freckles. Her eyes are the brightest blue. She’s got that Martha Stewart look with some rustic chic thrown in. Her jaw-length, dark ginger hair lightens from the middle of the strands to the pale golden roots.
“What’s your favorite animal?”
“I like starfish,” Iris tells her with a grin I haven’t seen a while. “They’re colorful and pretty. Mommy says they’re inva…inva…”
“Invertebrates,” I help her out before she gets crabby with herself.
“Yeah, in-ver-te-brates.” She sounds it out carefully, pride broadening her grin when she says it right. “They’re my mommy’s favorite too.”
“Invertebrates, huh?” Garrett chuckles behind us.
All the air leaves my lungs at the sound of his voice. I don’t know how to feel around him. The way he looks at me as though he knows me or can see some part of me that I don’t even know exists is confusing.
I can’t control what comes out of my mouth around him, and it’s so damn infuriating because all I want is to suffocate all the crap. Smother it all so it’s silent forever and no one will ever know the reality of my life. But he has a way of drawing it all out of me like poison, and when he touches me, I feel it deep inside. Like hope unfurling and blossoming in my core.
“It means they don’t have bones,” Iris tells him. “My mommy did a special exi…exi—” She stops to look at me for help again.
“Exhibition.”
“Yeah, an ex-hi-bi-tion, at home. She’s a marine bio-lo-gist, so she knows everything about fishes and the sea.”
“Not really.”
“Please,” Charlie scoffs, “you’re the biggest nerd.”
“Wait.” Garrett stands between me and Jo. His closeness makes my heart beat faster as I wonder if he’s still thinking about the last time we saw each other. All the bruises and my god-awful tears. All the things I said.
He starts to laugh the longer he looks at Charlie. “You’re friends with a marine biologist and you’re scared of the sea…that’s fantastic. Classic bad-A Charlie.”
“Correction, A-hole, I don’t want to be eaten by sharks. Shark bait isn’t my calling unlike you and Mark…on your cool dude boards, flapping around like defenseless prey.”
“You should teach her the reality of the water.” Garrett winks down at me.
For a moment he holds me with his assessing gaze before he fusses over Makenna and manages to get Iris laughing along with them. It’s such a beautiful sound, lightening some of the heaviness that’s bearing down on me. I can’t help but watch them and smile.
“I think it’s time we did a cookout at the ranch, Charlie girl.”
“I think you’re right, Josie.”
“Well, that settles it, then. The guys are cooking dinner tonight.”
My eyes widen at the sprawling estate. A federal-style farmhouse sits in the middle, surrounded by white outbuildings accented in torched timber. Verdant trees line the long drive, the dirt road kicking up clouds of dust as we approach the beautifully manicured in-and-out drive at the front of the house.
Charlie parks her SUV behind Garrett’s. His Jaguar is sleek, and something about him tells me that it’s pristine on the inside. He’s just so well put together in his shirt and slacks, but at the same time his hair is always mussed back from his face and his sleeves rolled up.
“Listen up, monster.” Charlie adjusts her rearview mirror so she can look at Makenna. “No hiding chicks in your pockets or in my purse. This is their home. Got it?”
“Sure.”
“Makenna!”
“Yes, I got it. Jeez, Mom…” she huffs as she unbuckles her seatbelt and lets herself out of the car.
“Little…madam.” Charlie jumps out after her. “I’ve told you not to mess with the child lock!”
“It wasn’t me,” Makenna calls behind her, running past Jo and Garrett as he fusses over three large German shepherds. One chases after her, skidding to a stop when she turns and yells for Iris to follow her.
Even though my chest tightens at the thought of letting Iris out of my sight, I nod for her to follow Makenna. The two of them are almost inseparable, with Iris obsessing over as much purple as she can.
“Word of warning,” Charlie sighs when I meet her in front of her car. Iris is in her element befriending the dogs. She seems relaxed with Garrett after their chat in the coffee shop. It’s a pleasant development given she was so jumpy with him before. Even with Mark, who she’s met before.
“Jo can be a little full-on. She’s a real character. No boundaries and a lot to say. However, she’s a good person…the best, actually.”
“She reminds me of my mom.”
“I can see that.”
“She reminds me of Priscilla too.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m a glutton for punishment.”
The minute Garrett stops fussing over them, the two dogs bound at me and Charlie, wagging their tails and barking. It’s a welcoming whine more than a threatening warning.
Laughing, he manages to get them to sit down in front of us. “These guys get very excited over new people.”
“Only new people?”
“Anyone actually. So long as you’re friendly, they love you.” Charlie pats them gently before following Jo into the house.
“This is Ship,” he tells me, crouching to fuss over the dog with the black bandana around his neck. “And this is Wave.” He touches the tip of his nose to the dog’s. I’m assuming it’s a female by the red bandana.
“Can I pet them?”
“Sure, they’re as friendly as they come. Ship likes it when you scratch behind his left ear, and Wave likes it when you rub her snout with your fingertips. Up and down…all day long.”
Crouching beside Garrett, I scratch behind Ship’s ear while he pets his back. A long yowl sounds from him as he falls onto the floor contentedly. I use the time to take in our surroundings better. The house is large and spread out, white with a dark roof and shutters that contrast the bright casing of the panes. Brick chimneys poke out of the roof, and a large stone flue sits on one side by the porch.
Although the ground is all dirt and grit, the drive is surrounded by a lush green manicured garden and a stone half wall with a sign that reads The Lighthouse Ranch. A white-and-blue striped lighthouse water feature stands in the middle of the small garden in front of the plaque.
It’s all so tranquil. You can hear the light breeze rustle through the trees around us. God, it feels so good as it caresses my warm skin like a wistful whisper.
“You doing okay?” he murmurs while we continue fussing over the dogs.
“I think so.” My body groans when I try to stand, and to stop myself from disproving my reply, I keep petting Ship in the hopes that Garrett will follow Charlie and Jo inside and I can get myself up without an audience.
“Good.”
Wave leaves us, and as though he knows what I’m avoiding, Garrett holds out his hand to me when he stands.
“Drink?” he asks, helping me up.
The feel of his hand clasped tight around mine is different to anything I’ve ever felt. My throat swells at the sight of his smile beaming at me, ocean gaze sparkling in the golden afternoon light. A stray, lighter blond lock falls in front of his eyes, and it makes him look boyish with the lopsided tip of his mouth.
We’re stuck in a staring contest when I’m jolted into him. My knees cave, hands clutching at his shoulders so I don’t fall to my ass.
/> “I’m sorry,” I tell him, and the faster I try to push away, the more the dog jumps at us, making it impossible for me to steady myself.
“It’s okay,” Garrett laughs. “I can have that effect, you know—make you weak in the knees.”
I don’t doubt that one bit. He’s charismatic and handsome, and he has an aura about him that’s warm and magnetic.
“Come on, Breeze, stop!” He turns us so that I can steady myself and the shepherd is pouncing on the backs of his legs instead. “She’s the wild one out of the bunch, and Cap, he’s old and quiet. He prefers staying indoors now, or he’ll sit out on the porch.”
Just as he said, an older shepherd is lying at the top of the porch steps when we head into the house. The back doors are fully open, and the girls are both sitting on the porch swing with a tall basket between them that they’re peering into eagerly.
Charlie and Jo are already in the kitchen, the large island littered with ingredients and some of the groceries we bought in town.
“You ever make an apple pie from scratch?” Jo asks at the same time as Garrett pours us all drinks.
“No, I’m not much of a baker.”
“Neither is this princess over here.”
“I’m getting better at it.” Charlie takes a sip of her drink.
“It’s only taken her almost six years of me teaching her the same foolproof recipe at least once a week.”
Jo goes about weighing out all the ingredients. Once she’s ready to start making the pastry and the filling, Charlie gets the girls involved in doing all the messy work while we sit out on the porch, drinking our sweet tea.
I’m too caught up in listening to Iris’s giggles to be much of a conversationist, and when Mark arrives with Cullen in tow, Charlie helps him set up the grill before returning with fresh drinks.
“So…Mark needs to go to DC to meet with a contractor. I’m thinking of going with him. Priscilla keeps saying she doesn’t see the kids enough and…and maybe she’s right. Iris talks about Robert so much…”
“We lived in the same city. It’s not the same when you’re in a different state.” I push down the pang that hits me square in the gut and smile at her.
“I guess, and we’re always so busy. You know what she’s like with Dom—mother hen on crack…”
“Isn’t that called being invested or something?”
A laugh bursts from her. “Or overbearing.”
“I feel that way. Overbearing. I’m sitting here and I’m listening out for every sound Iris is making and trying not to crowd her.”
“She’s doing okay. Kenny loves her. I think when I tell her that we’re going to DC for a couple weeks, she’s gonna freak out. She thinks she’s got herself a twin that she can’t wait to show off to all her classmates when school starts.”
Flustering at the thought that school will start soon and that I have no idea what’s going to happen, I take a long gulp of my tea.
“You haven’t thought about it.”
“No.” I search the horizon of green fields beyond the lake that stretches across the backyard. “This is a lot for her to take in. I’m trying to work out what to say to make it better, but I don’t want to lie to her or make her think that…that things are going back to what they were. I’m dreading how Carl’s going to react to the guardianship claim and what this investigation is going to dredge up.”
“Dirt. A whole lot of dirt, and you’re going to have to be prepared for the fallout of it. You’re going to have to be prepared to fight because no one else can do it for you. It’s your life, your decision…your daughter. The hard truth is that Carl hurt you.”
“He’s never hit me like that before.”
“What does that even mean, Avery? He never hit you like that?”
“He’s always been a bit rough, and maybe sometimes he pushed and pulled me around some or grabbed me too hard, but it was never like that. Just rough and demanding.” After a beat of silence, I add, “He said he was sorry and…” I cut myself off because I sound stupid even to myself.
The look she gives me tells me that it doesn’t make a difference. Charlie is right—it doesn’t, and the admission of it to myself makes me feel sick. If I were a drinker, I’d probably need a stiff one right about now. Instead, I gulp down a few mouthfuls of the apple tea in my hand.
Garrett’s words from the other night play around in my head, like they’ve done the last couple of weeks.
“Do you think I need to talk to someone?” I ask her.
“What? Like a shrink?”
“Maybe.” My whisper dries up at the sound of the girls laughing as Mark sprays the hose at them while Garrett and Cullen go at him with water pistols.
“You can talk to me. You know that, don’t you?” Combing her fingers through her hair, she levels me with a questioning stare.
The longer I take to get my words to match my thoughts and convey what Garrett told me the other night about talking to someone impartial, the more worried she looks, eyes darkening to a denim blue.
“I know, but you’re Charlie…you’re my friend and…”
“It’s not easy to talk to your friends sometimes.”
“Yeah.”
“I get that.” She leans back, kicking her legs so that the swing rocks a little more. “It’s good to see Iris happy.”
“It is, and I think maybe it’s a sign that I need to figure out what I’m going to do now. Where we’re going from here. Our entire life is back in DC, but…” I pause, looking around us. “But I don’t know if I can go back there and face everything. Carl and Dad’s death. Every time I think about going back, I feel like I’m about to suffocate.”
“That’s a good sign as any to hang around here a little longer,” Jo says, startling me. “Heck, you could come stay here if you get tired of living with that rowdy bunch.”
“You know, maybe you can stay while we’re in DC. I mean, you can stay at our place, but if you don’t want to be alone, Jo could probably do with the company too.”
Brushing my hair from my face, Jo nods in agreement. “You bet. In fact, I insist on it!”
Charlie gives me a knowing grin. “I told you, she’s a pushy one.”
Yeah, so was my mom, and while the three of us lay the table for dinner, a few specks of rain cool the evening air…just like Dad used to love. As much as it hurts, it’s comforting that he’s still here, nudging me to carry on, find my happy. He was so good at that, and in hindsight, knowing what I know now, I wish I’d listened. I wish I hadn’t fought with him over something as petty as Carl’s ego. While I can’t change what happened, I can learn from it.
Chapter Ten
GARRETT
I’ve barely made it up the porch steps when Iris comes tumbling through the front door with Breeze running circles ahead of her and Cap following behind. Her blonde hair is twisted into two knots on either side of her head, and a broad grin cuts her face in half as Avery calls her back into the house.
“Hi, Doc,” she chirps sheepishly.
“Hey, champ.”
High-fiving me, she turns back inside. For someone so young, she’s one hell of a whirlwind. I can see why Makenna loves her so much, and why Iris is missing her so terribly.
“You’re not wearing your doctor clothes again.” She inspects me as I take off my shoes, her eyes pausing on my lilac chino shorts and quirking higher. “Snap! I’m wearing purple too!”
“Good color.”
“We got five chicks now.” Iris holds up her hand.
“Yeah, so we’ve got Marvin, Milky, Mustard, Maisy and…?”
“Moo.” She shrugs. “This one is so fluffy and spotty. It has black and yellow feathers.”
“Are we going to call Kenny tonight so we can show her?” Without warning, she takes my hand and guides me toward the kitchen where Avery is clearing up. “Can we, Doc?”
“Are you going to eat your dinner?” Avery asks her before adding a soft “Hi” over her shoulder.
Her long,
dark hair is up in a ponytail that falls to the middle of her back, grazing the low scoop of her blouse. When she turns to look at me, I notice the makeup she’s wearing.
Beautiful doesn’t cut it. Avery is heart-stoppingly stunning with her big eyes and the faintest of freckles sprinkled over her nose and apples of her cheeks. And when she smiles, it’s pure sunshine.
Pure. Fucking. Sunshine. The ultimate drug. A holy grail of hope.
“Hey,” I manage to croak.
My heart is hammering so hard in my chest that I can’t hear anything over it. Not the alarm bells, not the warning jibes or the tug for victory of the angel and devil on my shoulders. Avery is all there is, and the sunshine she doesn’t realize she has inside her. The goddamn sunshine I’m addicted to.
“I think I’ve cracked the apple pie,” she tells me with another light chuckle.
“It’s pretty good.” Iris tugs at my hand at the same time as she tries to find purchase on the counter with the other.
“It only took me eight days of making it too!” Avery picks Iris up and sets her on the counter.
“You’re gonna love it!”
“Are you sure about that?” I tease Iris.
“Yeah, because my mommy made it and you like her, don’t you?”
Whoever said that kids have a creepy sixth sense and the ability to see through you was spot-on. This kid surprises me at every turn with her toothy grin, smart-ass insight, and old-soul rationale.
“You have the greatest mommy,” I reply, trying not to say something that will scare the hell out of Avery. She looks petrified enough with her wide eyes and flushed face. “What’s so great about this pie, then?”
“It’s a secret!” Iris pretends to zip her mouth, lock it, and throw away the key.
“Hardly. It’s all in the hands.” Avery holds them up, wiggling her fingers.
My mind instantly translates that into something completely inappropriate and dirty. It takes all of my control to shut it down and the reaction my body has to the thoughts of just how good Avery might be with her dainty hands.
“So…” I take a deep breath to gather my wits around her.
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