by Katy Cannon
With a sigh, he grabbed another mug. “You really are taking this seriously, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. It’s important.” Yeah, maybe it wasn’t a starring role or anything, but that didn’t mean it didn’t matter.
“Well, yeah. I know that. I just didn’t realize you did. Not until that day at the bakery.”
“Then you weren’t paying much attention.” Too busy jumping to conclusions about me.
“Trust me, I was paying attention.” He turned to look at me and suddenly he was incredibly close. And what did that mean anyway? I shuffled back a few steps along the kitchen counter.
“Sugar? Milk?”
It took me a moment to remember the coffee. “Um, just milk. Thanks.”
Connor carried the two mugs over to the table and I followed, sitting in the same seat as before. He, however, moved to sit next to me.
“Well, since we’re doing this properly, we need to get on with it.” He tugged my notes towards him and started reading through them. “First thing we need is a props list, right?”
“That would help,” I agreed. “I know Mr Hughes has been talking about items as they’ve come up during rehearsals, but I’ve mostly been off helping with the costumes, so I haven’t got a clear idea of what we need.”
“Fortunately for us, I do,” Connor said.
“You’ve done this a lot, haven’t you? Worked backstage, I mean. You said you were in a youth theatre, where you used to live?”
Connor nodded. “Yeah. I was supposed to move up to be stage manager there for our summer show, before we left.”
“Is that what you want to do?” I asked. “When you leave school. Work in the theatre?”
He opened his mouth to reply but, before he could speak, a small cry came from the baby monitor. We both froze, waiting in the silence that followed. Then Lily cried again, and Connor’s shoulders dropped. “Hang on a min. She usually settles pretty quickly for me, and I need to fetch my script from my school bag anyway. I left it in the hall.”
Alone in the kitchen, I tried to read through my notes again, but soon got distracted by Connor’s voice through the baby monitor.
“Shh, Lils. Come on, now, go back to sleep for your big brother.” The words were whispered, just a murmur, but they echoed through the empty kitchen. Then I heard him sigh and start to sing softly.
“Hush little Lily, don’t you cry. Connor’s going to sing you a lullaby.”
I smiled to myself, my cheek resting on my hand as I leaned closer to listen.
“So you just close those little eyes, and dream of … uh … sheep and apple pies.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Silly made-up lyrics or not, Connor was incredibly cute with his little sister.
“Did I hear Lily?” Mrs Hughes asked from the kitchen doorway, and I jerked round with a start.
“Um, yeah. But don’t worry, Connor’s gone upstairs.”
Mrs Hughes smiled. “He’s so good with her. And she absolutely adores him. I was worried, when she was born… I mean, the age gap is so huge. But it’s all worked out incredibly well so far.” Her gaze met mine. “And I really am very glad to see he’s making friends at school. It was so hard for him, having to move again. I try to get him to talk to me about how he’s feeling, but you know Connor. He keeps his emotions to himself and tries to deal with everything alone.” She sighed, and I wondered if I was supposed to say something. But what? Actually, no, I don’t really know Connor at all? We weren’t really friends, although sometimes it felt like we might be inching towards something more. “Anyway. It means a lot to me that he’s happy here.”
“I’m sure.”
I stared at the baby monitor, listening to Connor humming softer and softer, long after his mum had gone back to the other room. Then I heard a rustle and the click of a closing door, which snapped me out of my daze.
Connor came back down a few moments later, and I pretended that I hadn’t heard him comforting Lily. Somehow I knew that would just make him more defensive. Like his mum had said, Connor kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. If I was going to be his friend, the last thing I needed was anything that made him build up more walls between us.
Instead, I made notes of props we needed as he flicked through the script, a page at a time, reading the scrawled notes in the margins that indicated movements, lighting, scenery and costume changes and, most importantly, the props required for each scene.
By the time we’d made it through the whole play, it was getting late. Soon, I’d have to turn my phone back on and face my mother’s wrath.
Closing the script with a sigh, Connor pulled out his timetable, still covered in my pink pen. “OK. When do you want to do this again? I’ve got a few thoughts about the military uniforms, but I need to talk to Guy about them first.” It was funny, hearing him call Mr Hughes Guy, but I supposed he must, all the time, at home.
“Let me go through the costume cupboard again on Monday, now I know what props we need. There might be some stuff hidden in the boxes at the back.”
“Tuesday, then? We’re both free first thing, by the look of it.”
“Sounds good.”
“I’ll ask Guy if he’ll run you home, if you like.”
“That would be great.” I paused, not sure how my next comment would go down. But I was leaving in a moment anyway, right? “You know, you have a really nice family, Connor.” He huffed a sort of “if you say so” sound. “You have!”
“Yeah, maybe. Mum’s OK. Still kind of overwhelmed about having me living here, I think.”
And there was my in. “Why did you move here, anyway?”
I didn’t think he’d tell me. I’m not sure he thought he would, either. But after a moment, he said, “I stayed with my dad, after the divorce. He got remarried a year later, and my new stepmum had twin boys already, six years younger than me.”
“Got a bit crowded then, huh?”
“Nah, it was OK. I got on well with them. We were a family.”
“So, what happened, then?”
He looked away. “My dad got offered a great job in New York this summer. It was perfect timing for the twins – they were about to start secondary school.”
“But you were about to start your A levels.”
“Yeah. Luckily, it was easy enough for them to ship me back off to Mum and Guy. I moved in about two weeks before Lily was born.”
I winced. There I was, miserable about having an extra sister in the house, when Connor had been practically kicked out of his own home.
“I don’t know why I told you that.”
“Because I pestered.” I gave him a tentative smile. “If it helps at all… I understand about shifting families.”
“Yeah? How? Your parents are still married, aren’t they?”
I nodded. “They are. But … I kind of got a new sister this summer, too. Only mine’s six years older than me.”
Connor stared at me. “How the hell did that work?”
I grinned, but before I could answer, Mr Hughes opened the door. “Are you two nearly done? It’s getting late. I better take Grace home.”
“We’re ready,” I said, gathering my notes back together to shove into my homemade bag. “I’ll fill you in on that last bit on Tuesday morning, Connor.”
I liked the idea that he’d have a whole weekend to contemplate how, whatever he thought, he didn’t know everything about me, after all.
Mr Hughes dropped me at the end of my drive and I hopped out, only slowing when I realized that Faith’s car wasn’t there. I must have missed them completely. Mum was not going to be happy.
I let myself into the house, turning to wave and let Mr Hughes know it was OK to leave now. By the time I turned back, Mum and Dad were both standing in front of me, glowering.
“Hi,” I said, attempting a smile. “Sorry I’m late, only there was this emergency Drama Club meeting… Did you get my text?”
Silence.
Without a word,
Mum turned and walked away up the stairs, leaving me staring after her. Only after we heard the bedroom door click closed did Dad speak.
“In the lounge, please.”
I did as I was told, my stomach feeling full of stones as I waited for him to follow me. I perched on the edge of the armchair and watched as Dad closed the door and sat on the sofa.
“Tonight meant a lot to your mother. And to me, and Faith and Adam, but particularly to Mum.” His voice was perfectly calm, but I could hear the disappointment running through it. It felt worse than the anger I’d expected. “You know what we expect from you, Grace, as a member of this family. As our daughter. And you let us down.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I stared down at my hands. “But the meeting really was important…”
“Your family are important. Faith is part of that family, and Adam will be soon. They’re part of our lives now. And I know that’s been hard for you to accept, Grace, but we’ve tried to make allowances, tried to let you adjust—”
“Really? How?” My gaze shot up to meet his. “By having her here, in my house, all the time? Were you just hoping that if she spent enough time here I’d simply forget it used to be just us?”
Dad sighed, and I knew he wasn’t going to see my point of view. “This has been hard for all of us, you know.”
“You think?” I asked. “Because it seems to me that everyone else is as happy as anything about the situation.”
“Of course we’re happy to have Faith back in our lives!” Dad yelled. Then he rubbed a hand across his forehead, a sure sign he was trying to keep a hold on his temper. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard. For Faith most of all. She’s trying to adjust to a whole new family, remember? And your mum … she’s still coming to terms with all the years we missed – that we gave up. So, yes, she wants to keep Faith close. She wants both her girls here with her.”
“And what do you want?” I asked. Living up to what my dad wanted had been the most important thing in my life, once. These days, I barely even knew what he expected from me, other than to magically be OK with all the changes in our family.
“Honestly?” Dad sighed again. “I want you and Faith to be friends. Sisters even. I want you to make an effort to get to know her. Is that so much to ask?”
The sound of Connor singing a lullaby to Lily echoed inside my brain, and guilt swamped over me. “No, I suppose not.” Except it felt like everything. It wasn’t so easy to just suddenly pretend this stranger was my sister.
“Good.” He got to his feet. “I’m going up to your mother. We won’t mention this again. But Grace … next time—”
“I’ll be here,” I promised.
“Thank you.” He paused at the door. “Oh, by the way, your mum and Faith left something for you to look at on the coffee table.”
For me? As soon as he was gone, I dived forward to see what he was talking about. And there, just waiting for me, was the most hideous bridesmaid’s dress pattern I’d ever seen.
Just when I thought I’d escaped without punishment, too. Perfect.
“Who are you waiting for?” Lottie asked, following my gaze as it flicked to the common-room door for the hundredth time.
“Connor. We were supposed to meet first thing to talk costumes. He’s late.”
“So… You and Connor. What’s going on there?” Lottie turned in her chair towards me, tucking her feet up under her and putting on her best listening face. I groaned inwardly. “I mean, you were both chatting away when we met at the bakery at half-term. And Yasmin said you had dinner at his house on Friday…”
“A working dinner. For the play. Not a … whatever you think it is dinner.”
“Are you sure? I mean, he’s cute as hell, Grace. I know he’s not your usual type…”
“Meaning?” Lottie thought I had a type?
“He’s not, well, I don’t know. One of the in-crowd, or whatever. But he seems nice.”
“He’s sarcastic and rude.” But I was smiling as I said it.
“A match made in heaven, then,” Lottie said, putting her hands up and laughing when I tried to bat her with my history textbook. “But really, Grace. Ash was telling Yasmin that you’re the only girl Connor’s really spoken to since he started here. And considering that Ash is pretty much the only other friend he’s made… I think that makes you kind of special.”
Maybe. But I couldn’t let on that I cared about that until I was sure. The last thing I needed was everyone thinking I was crazy for a guy who wouldn’t give me the time of day.
“You’re wrong. He talks to me because of the play. That’s it. Hell, he doesn’t even show up to do that, most of the time.”
Which was, of course, the exact moment the common-room door flew open and Connor O’Neil raced in.
“You’re late,” I said, getting to my feet as he reached us.
“Yeah, sorry. Lily was up a lot last night, keeping us all awake, and I pressed snooze a few too many times when my alarm went off.”
I thought back to the first day I met Connor and missed the auditions and felt some sympathy. “Yeah, OK. It happens. Come on, let’s grab that table over there.”
Ignoring Lottie’s smile, I dragged a chair over to the table and pulled my files out of my Russian-doll bag. They were starting to look a bit dog-eared, but I figured that just showed Connor I’d been working hard.
“So, about the military costumes,” Connor said, pulling over his own chair and sitting a little bit closer than I’d expected him to. “I talked to Guy, and we might have an idea.”
“Yeah? Great!” The uniforms had been my biggest headache for weeks. I’d looked at hiring them, but it would swallow up almost the entire costume budget, so I was keeping that as a last resort.
“Guy knows someone who runs a tiny theatre in London, and they have a few that we could borrow, for free. We won’t be able to adjust them, and we’d need to go and pick them up nearer the time, but it might solve our problem.”
“That would be perfect, thank you!” I scribbled a note to myself on my costume list. “Can you find out when I can go and get them?”
“Sure. So, in return, are you going to tell me the deal with your surprise sister?” He leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head.
“That’s been bothering you this weekend, huh?” Which was, of course, exactly what I’d intended.
“Barely thought about it,” Connor said, but I was pretty sure he was lying. “It’s just that you’re such an only child…”
“Why do people keep saying that? Besides, so were you until your dad got remarried.”
“True. And now I have Lily, too. But we’re not talking about me. I’ve already told you all my family dramas. I want to hear about yours.”
I sighed and tucked my pen back inside my file. “Fine. But it’s not that dramatic, really. It just turned out that my parents had a baby back when they were, like, our age, and gave her up for adoption. This summer, she found us. That’s all.”
“That’s a pretty big ‘all’.” Connor pointed out.
“Yeah, well. Life happens, right?” To my amazement, I actually sounded nonchalant about the whole thing. Maybe I was coming to terms with having my life turned upside down. “She’s getting married next summer and she wants us to be part of the wedding. I get to wear the most hideous bridesmaid’s dress in the history of the world.”
Mum had showed me the pattern again over the weekend, along with the shiny lemon yellow fabric they’d chosen. It hadn’t improved since I first saw it.
“Is she nice?” Connor asked. “Your sister, I mean?”
I bit my lip as I thought about it. The truth was, I had no idea. I’d avoided spending any more time with her than I had to, and even when we were in the same room it was always Mum and Faith on one side, me on the other. I had absolutely no idea what she was like, away from our parents.
“I guess so,” I told Connor, not wanting to own up to my complete sisterly ignorance. “It’s just still … weird.”
“Yeah, I get that. Guy – Mr Hughes – he’s great. He makes my mum happy, he’s crazy about Lily, he’s even trying to help me fit in here.”
“By inviting me to dinner.”
“Yeah. And the play and everything. He figured out pretty quickly how much I hated being dragged away from my old theatre. But the point is, I’ve still only known him for a year or so, and only properly since I moved in this summer. We’re family, but we’re still getting to know each other. And that’s hard.”
I gazed across the table at Connor and he met my eyes. This was the most he’d ever told me about himself.
He smiled and glanced away. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing that I was – that we had more in common than either of us could have first imagined.
Connor turned his attention back to the lists in front of us and our sharing moment was over. “How did you get on with sorting through the props yesterday?”
“OK. I found a few bits. Others we’ll need to buy, borrow or steal as usual.” A thought occurred to me. Now we were, well, bonding – or at least talking – Connor could totally help out more with this. “Actually, if you can be spared from rehearsals, we can go through them in the hall this afternoon. Mr Hughes is just running small groups and chorus stuff anyway, to give us a chance to measure other cast members for their costumes. Miss Cotterill and Izzy are staying on after school especially. You can check out the props and costumes we already have then.”
“OK,” Connor said, fast enough to surprise me. “I’ll see you there.”
“Great.” We stared at each other for another awkward moment, as if not entirely sure how to say goodbye. Then, with a nod, Connor gathered up his stuff and headed out, and Lottie slid into his empty chair.
“Seriously, you’re telling me there’s nothing going on between you two?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Just play stuff, like I said.”
“Then you aren’t paying attention.” Lottie grinned. “I never thought I’d see the day when Grace Stewart didn’t notice that a boy fancied her.”
