Shaking my head I headed back into the bar. I wondered how I could feel lighter and heavier at the same time. Then as I saw Barbie talking with Cas, I knew the heaviness was because of Bonnie. Twenty four hours she’s been here and already she’s messing with my head. Barbie wouldn’t help if she thought Bonnie was an enemy, no matter how close they were at college, not after everything she went through and certainly not after she watched Billy lowered into the ground. Then I remembered my visits to her at college. Bonnie was always quiet, the most I got out of her was a blush and then her back as she scurried away in embarrassment.
I trusted Barbie’s judgement. She basically lived with the woman but then the doubt creeps back in and I’m left wondering, along with the rest of the club, that it might be a setup of some sort.
Cas catches me standing there and nods towards to the stairs. Time to go. Reaching over the bar, I grab two glasses and head to my room with the remainder of the tequila.
For the first time in history my door on a Saturday night was left unlocked. It’s a good thing I came back when I did, God knows who would have drunkenly stumbled in here and crashed out for the night…or worse, got down and dirty.
“Bonnie,” I whispered loudly.
The room was in darkness and I could faintly see her outline on the far edge of my bed. So, she thought she would get comfortable, huh? I couldn’t totally blame her, she was in pain.
She also didn’t answer me. I watched her sleep this afternoon so I knew she wasn’t asleep now because her breathing was ragged.
“Bonnie, I know you’re awake,” I said, moving towards the bed.
She slowly sat up and turned to face me, she looked like she was close to sleeping.
“I thought you might wanna drink,” I said, offering her one of the glasses.
I sat down beside her and poured us a drink. She knocks it back in one and hardly makes a face at the bitterness.
I instantly pour her another and she relaxes against the headboard. I kick my boots off and join her. She’s careful to stay on the very edge of her side as not to touch me.
Again, she knocks the drink back. I haven’t even finished my first, not that it’s my first of the night.
“Thanks, I needed that,” she smiles sadly.
“Thought you’d be a tequila girl, you’d have to be to be friends with Barbie,” I pointed out.
“Why do you call her Barbie?” she asked.
Her voice was soft and smooth, silky even. I liked it, it relaxed me.
“What was your nightmare about last night?” I counteracted.
“I don’t remember them when I wake,” she said.
I knew she was lying, she answered far too quickly.
Seconds before she was the most relaxed I’ve seen her and now she was right back on the defensive.
I opted to try and relax her again. I poured her another drink and myself.
“It’s a nickname I gave her shortly after I joined the club. She literally had every fuckin’ Barbie in the store. A few of the guys kind of adopted her when her daddy died and they spoiled her rotten. She’d always have one on her and coz’ her hair is so blonde, I started calling her Barbie. Most of the time she hates it when I call her it, but half the time I don’t realise I’m saying it,” I explained.
It worked, she began to relax again and sipped her drink.
“She must be special to you for you to go and see her while she was at college?”
“She is. I would do anythin’ for her and I have done. She’s the only woman I trust, she’s like my sister and I love her as one,” I said, as matter of fact. “Didn’t you have anyone visit you?” I asked.
“No.”
Just one word for an answer and that’s all I was getting on that subject.
This must be the first time ever I’ve been in here in the dark with a woman and fucking talked. Strangely I liked this.
“Do you have them often, your nightmares?” I ask, trying again to find something out about her.
“Why?”
“Just wondering if you’re gonna be screamin’ the place down again tonight,” I replied, trying to sound casual about it.
“Oh, sometimes they’re frequent, sometimes not.”
Great, so I could actually be woken again tonight, that’s just fucking great.
“Are they always the same? Barbie suffers from nightmares now and they’re always the same.”
She finished her drink, put the glass on the small table beside the bed and laid back down, facing away from me.
I thought that was that and she wasn’t going to answer. When she did, I didn’t think it would be anything remotely as awful as it was.
“They are always the same. They begin with my father beating my mother and they always end with him murdering her,” she muttered.
She took the air right out of my lungs.
“Is that because it really happened?” I asked.
Hunter was one of the sickest men I’ve come across but surely he wouldn’t do that to the mother of his child?
“Yes, I saw the whole thing,” she whispered.
Fuck!
Chapter Five
Bonnie...
Slowly I woke to the warmness against my body. It was strange because through closed eyes I could tell the sun wasn’t out yet. Before I left the Ghost Riders I would shoot out of bed in the mornings, not wanting to be in a vulnerable position. This morning, I wanted to bask in the safety of this room and relax, just for a while. But, last night slowly came to my memory and jolted my eyes open. The warmness I felt was in fact coming from Sparky’s body. During the night I had cuddled against him, which was mystifying as I have never sought the comfort from a man in bed before. Normally I fall asleep in one position and wake up in the same area. After the initial shudder of normalness then embarrassment I begin to untangle myself from him, only to find he has been sleeping with his arm around me. Wow, this feels…good. I wonder what we look like tangled together? No, this is wrong, I have to move before he wakes.
Carefully I slip out of his hold, scoot across the bed and grab my bag from the couch, proceeding to run into his bathroom and locking the door behind me.
What am I doing? I came here to warn them, now I’m staying till I’m healed. I’m telling him my most kept secret and now I wake to find myself stuck to him. I slip into the shower, maybe the cold blast of water can clear my head so I can figure out what the hell I’m doing! I know I need to leave but the temptation of safety for a while is too much to turn my back on. It will be nice not to have to watch my back for a while.
The water is running warm now and I stand lapping it all over my body. This is also nice. There’s no rush here to do anything, no wondering if Tommy or my brother is gunning for me, no being ordered to do work around the clubhouse. But, all that’s because I’m here in his room, I remind myself.
As the spray of water begins to run cold again, I slip out and wrap myself in one his large towels. Throwing my bag on the side, my heart sinks when I remember I have no clean clothes here, no fresh underwear either. Whether I stay or leave, I need clothes.
I dry off and redress in Sparky’s hoodie, I towel my hair dry as much as I can and throw it up in a ponytail. I don’t usually wear make-up, but today I could do with some concealer. I’m not a prisoner here and I don’t particularly want to do anything apart from rest some more, but I need clothes and toiletries of my own.
Buck it up Bonnie, you’ve done more energetic activities in much more pain than this. Shopping for an hour will be a breeze. Just go out there, don’t mention anything about your mother and tell him you need to go shopping. Go from there and stay strong.
I expected him to still be asleep when I opened the bathroom door so when I saw him sitting half up in bed smoking a cigarette, his bare chest on view, I couldn’t help staring. His muscles were still well-defined while he is relaxed, nothing compared to the hairy, blubber bellies I’m used to. No, I doubt anything could compare to this ever again. I
was reacting to the sight of him, and I’m sure the blush I could feel heating my cheeks was evident to him as well.
“Morning,” I say, walking towards the couch.
“Morning,” he replies, his voice still groggy from sleep.
“I need to go shopping, I’ll ask Alannah to go with me,” adamant that is my plan. Not asking for permission as such, just letting him know what my plans are and I won’t go alone.
“You’re covered in bruises and on the run from your brother and you want to go fuckin’ shoppin’?” he asks, in disbelief.
“Yes. I need clothes and shampoo. I need my own things,” I say strongly.
“You’re only allowed to stay here to rest. If you can shop Cas will think you’re healed enough to leave.”
“I can hardly leave here in your hoodie can I? I need my own clothes.”
“Fine, ask Barbie if she wants to go but I’ll have to come with ya both so don’t take all fuckin’ day,” he warns, getting out of bed. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready.”
He got himself clean clothes and went in the direction of his bathroom. Before he closed the door, he turned to face me and spoke.
“You know, if ya wanna, you can talk to me about what happened,” he said, closing the door.
He is showered and dressed in record time, leading me to the kitchen before we leave. He mentions no more about my mother and I’m grateful. I quickly changed from his hoodie to the dress I wore a couple of days ago. It was slightly creased from drying off from the rain but I smoothed it down the best I could.
I reminded him I needed my cash back so he left me to make some toast while he disappeared to go find Cas.
The three men in here wearing their Lost Souls cuts gaped at my every moment. After the toaster popped up, I buttered the toast and found an empty chair at the large table. It was hard to swallow my food while they constantly stared, each bite sounding like the crunching was bouncing around the walls. Never has eating breakfast ever been so noisy. A woman I haven’t seen before comes trotting in, barely awake yet and heads for the coffee pot. She has her eyes closed as she takes her first sip and when she opens them, her eyes fall on me. In my experience, women can be nastier then men, I brace myself for bitchy remarks.
She walks over and pulls the chair out beside me, staring at me for a moment before breaking out a smile.
“I’m Jilly, you must be Alannah’s friend.”
Her tone is kind and friendly. I instantly relax.
“I’m Bonnie,” I smile.
The three men resume their conversation, although their voices are much quieter than they would normally speak at.
“You look like you’ve been through hell,” she remarks, “Although, I can see you’re really pretty.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
“How come we don’t see you around the club?” she asks, taking a slice of my breakfast.
“I’m not staying long, just till I get better,” I tell her.
“And you have to do that in Sparky’s room?”
I only shrug my shoulders, this is rapidly turning into an inquisition.
“I wish I could bunker down in his room, if you catch what I’m saying,” she winks.
Her friendly tone is back and I smile. I know exactly what she means.
Sparky comes into the kitchen and stops dead in the doorway for a split second. He gets over whatever is going through his head and joins us, nodding to the other men.
“Barbs can’t make it so you’re stuck with me,” he says, but I get the impression he doesn’t mind as much as he is making out.
“Where are you going?” Jilly asks.
Now Sparky is in the room, it’s like she’s forgotten I’m here.
“Shopping,” he groans.
“I could come with you?” she offers.
For some reason I frown, I don’t like the idea of her coming too.
“No,” Sparky tells her firmly, “C’mon, let’s get this over with,” he says to me.
After rinsing my plate at the sink, we are heading through the bar. I’m grateful it’s pretty early still and the place is mainly empty.
With his truck in sight, he moves closer to me and looks around.
“I want you to stay away from her.”
“Who? Jilly?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Asking questions like this at home would be a no-no, but here I’m learning quickly, they’re not the same. Women can speak here.
“You bein’ friends with Barbie means you don’t make friends with the likes of Jilly.”
“Doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll be gone in a few days,” I said, and climb into his truck.
Sparky...
“What else do you need?” I ask Bonnie, as she heads for the only store in town she hasn’t been in today.
“Toiletries, then I need to purchase a car. Do you have a dealership in this town?”
“We do, but you ain’t ‘purchasing’ a car, I think you’ve already bought enough for one day,” I said.
I’ve already dumped a bunch of bags back in the truck twice already. She has everything from clothes to a dryer for her hair, together with a new cell phone. Now she’s trudging me around the small bookstore for nearly an hour.
“I think I’ll wait out here for ya,” I tell her as she opens the door.
“Okay, I won’t be long.”
“Please don’t be,” I mutter, after she disappeared inside.
I lit up and inhaled so deeply it took half the cigarette with it. I was right about Cas thinking she should go if she can go shopping, but once again Alannah got on the defensive and twisted his arm. By the time I was finishing my second cigarette, she was walking out with two more bags. How much shampoo does a girl fucking need?
I took them from her and we headed back to the truck.
“Thank you for today,” she says, as she climbs into the truck next to me.
“No problem.”
And it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Definitely a never to be repeated experience but the woman virtually had nothing. I couldn’t deny her the basic necessities.
The drive back was silent. I pulled in through the gates and parked in my usual spot. She looked nervous about going back in the clubhouse. I couldn’t blame her really. My brothers weren’t friendly with her and I couldn’t blame them for that either.
I rounded the truck and opened the trunk. Bonnie was by my side and trying to reach her bags. I collected them all myself, leaving her to lock the truck up. She stood there gawping at me and it occurred that she probably hasn’t had anyone carry her bags before. Being a part of a biker club doesn’t mean I don’t have any manners and today using them made me feel pretty good about myself.
“C’mon, you’re gonna need to put all this shit away,” I yell behind me, as she continues to stand in place.
The door to the clubhouse was held open by the prospect coming out and I darted inside to find most of the brothers lingering around. All eyes fell on us as we returned then onto the bags I was carrying. I would pay for this later, ridiculing at its best.
I didn’t stop until I made it to my room and Bonnie followed closely behind. I dumped all her shit on my bed as she flopped down beside it, peering into each bag.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I told her as I turned back to the door.
“Wait,” she called.
I turned back and she was standing. “I just want to say thank you again. I don’t imagine shopping is on your priority list, so thank you for not making a big deal about it.”
“Gave us somethin’ to do, better than bein’ trapped in here. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I left before she could say anything else. As I came down the stairs to the bar, I caught Jilly by one of the pool tables. I steered her towards the corner where we would be alone.
“What’s up?”
“I want you to stay away from Bonnie,” I told her.
“Why? She isn�
�t going to be here long anyway.”
“Doesn’t matter why, I’ve fuckin’ asked ya, so now stay away from her,” I repeated.
“Fine, jeez. We can’t go back to your room but I know the storage room is empty,” she smirked.
“Maybe another time,” I huffed and left her in the corner.
Slade was at the bar so I joined him and ordered a beer.
“I got some bags in the truck. Be a doll and go grab em’ for me,” he said, barely containing his laughter.
“FUCK OFF.”
“Thought you’re meant to be her babysitter, not her fuckin’ servant,” he muttered.
“Shut up. I done one nice turn for someone and now I’m payin’ for it.”
“As long as you remember who she is and why she’s here,” he said.
“We don’t know why she’s really here and I won’t forget,” I told him.
“Just be careful brother, you can’t trust her, don’t get be getting too close to her.”
“I know.”
I would rather be laughed at than this ‘remembering the distrust’ speech. I grabbed a few beers and headed back to my room, leaving Slade to himself.
As I head up the stairs, her admission from last night pops up and I’m left wondering how she’s coped living with the knowledge of her mother’s murder? Witnessing what her father did could have pushed her to be frightened shitless of him, or in their sick world she could have found some sort of loyalty to him, knowing what he is capable of? That shit could fuck a grown man to bits, yet as of today, I saw a small spark in her screaming to get out.
She was ripping tags off her new clothing and refolding them into piles when I got back to my room. The look on her face was touching, her smile was radiant. It literally transformed her face so you could see past the bruises.
She watched me walk over, sit on the couch and put the beers on the table.
“I’ve never bought so many clothes in one trip before,” she murmured. “We moved around a lot so I tended to travel light,” she added.
“Tell me about your life with them?” I asked, opening a beer each.
Biker Faith Page 5
