For a moment I think he knows about my scars but then it dawns on me, he means my underwear. Then it also dawns on me that he wants to take me on his bike.
“I’ve never been on a bike before,” I stutter out.
He frowns at me. “You grew up in a club and you’ve never ridden on a bike?” he asks in disbelief.
“I was never allowed, I would always travel in the vans with the prospects.”
“Well, today will be an experience you will never fuckin’ forget,” he grins, escaping the room.
The grin spread across his face does things to me that has never happened before. Before he comes back and changes his mind, I jump into my new jeans and a sweater, throwing my new jacket over the top and tying my hair into a ponytail. Looking in the mirror, Sparky was right. My new concealer had done a pretty good job of hiding the bruises on my cheek. For once, I’m not repulsed by my reflection. Staring back at myself, I can see the beginning of a new woman appearing. It’s refreshing what a few new clothes and safety from a different class of bikers can do to a person. I like it.
Sparky reappears and takes in my appearance, he nods in approval, which makes me happy. I keep close to him as we walk through the club, the men hanging around acknowledge him but turn their heads away from me.
Awkwardness at its best.
It’s not until we’re outside and walking towards his bike that I realise I will have to touch him, like literally cuddle him from the back. At least when I’ve done that the last couple of times I was asleep. This time we’re both wide awake and aware.
He hands me a helmet and climbs on his bike. Taking a deep breath, I put the helmet on and fiddle with the straps. Here it is, time to climb on.
God must be looking down on me today, because he gave me the art of grace. I slipped on behind him easily enough and went to hold onto his shoulders. When he noticed what I was doing, he grabbed my hands and pulled them down and readjusted them around his waist, tightly. The whole process had my chest pulled tight against his back, leaving no space between us. Being this close to him and rubbing against my sensitive parts was beginning to drive me crazy.
My legs automatically clenched around him and he stilled. He must have got himself together as he put his hand on my thigh for a fraction of a second and started his bike.
Wow, if I weren’t feeling the need between my legs before, I definitely was now. The rumble from the engine was blowing me apart from the inside out.
He rode out of the gates I arrived through a few days ago and my heart beat frantically as he picked up speed and headed out of town.
My legs felt like jelly when I got off the bike, as we arrived at the prettiest place on earth I have ever been to.
“When I told Cas I was takin’ you out, he suggested here. No one around to see you and I thought it would be better to look at then my room,” he said, walking up beside me.
The lake was beautiful with the sun shimmering across the water, but his room wasn’t bad while he is in it too.
“It’s beautiful here, thank you for bringing me,” I smile, keeping my eyes on the water.
“You’re welcome.”
I spot some large rocks to our left and move to sit on one of them. Sparky follows and sits beside me, scooping a handful of smaller rocks as he does.
Being this close to him is intoxicating me. He smells like leather and a dark, spicy cologne. All I can see around me is nature at its quietest yet my body feels like its humming with electricity.
Sadness creeps over me as I think to myself how much I’m beginning to want him and know he wouldn’t come near me because of who I am.
Ignoring all yearning thoughts of him, I opt for striking up a conversation.
“So, you know about my dad when no one else does. Why don’t you tell me something about you?” I say, turning my head slightly to see him.
Something flickers across his face and I immediately know why.
“It doesn’t have to be anything to do with the club. Actually I’d prefer it not be. Trust me, I’ve had enough of club talk to last more than a lifetime.”
He throws a couple of the rocks across the water before he answers.
“My mother left when I was two years old, couldn’t handle being a mom so I’m told. My dad raised me on his own. He could be a mean bastard sometimes but he loved me and made sure I didn’t go without,” he said casually.
“Do you miss her?”
I miss my mom more than anything. A part of me is content she isn’t around anymore because she isn’t suffering still. Who knows what would have happened to her when my father died.
“You can’t miss what you don’t remember,” he mumbled.
“Have you ever thought to try and find her?”
“I did once. I asked Slade to see if he could track her down. It didn’t take much as she left a trail of debt all over the place. He pulled up an address for her and I went to see her. Turns out it wasn’t only me she couldn’t handle but life too. She was a whore funding her crack addiction. A year after I found her, she had an overdose and died.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say.
“Don’t be. I didn’t know her, she wasn’t a mother to me.”
“What happened to your father?”
“He died a few years ago to cancer.”
“Well I am sorry. At least you know your father loved you.”
“Yeah he did,” he murmured, throwing another rock across the water. “Surely your father loved you in his own way?”
“I don’t think so, he was incapable of love. He only tolerated my brother to keep the club in the family,” I tell him. shuddering from memories springing to mind.
“He was no brother to you if he didn’t stand up for you. He should have looked out for you, that’s what brothers are for,” he said bluntly.
“As far as I’m concerned I have no one now and I’m happier that way.”
“You say you ran from them, do you think they will try to find you?” he asks.
“If they do, it won’t be because they miss me,” I say, sadly knowing it’s the truth.
“But they won’t find me, as long as I don’t stop running they won’t catch me. Eventually they will give up,” I add.
“That ain’t no way to fuckin’ live,” he mutters. As if I don’t know that.
“It sounds like heaven compared to going back there. I don’t have any other choice.”
“But you won’t tell me what happens to you there?”
“No.”
“Okay, will you tell me why you have a different name to Hunter?”
I’d rather answer this than talk about Tommy.
“Hunter despised the thought of having a daughter. He only gave his name to my brother Joe. Hamilton is my mother’s name.”
I don’t catch what he mutters under his breath but it didn’t sound good. I don’t necessarily like talking about myself but I do like the back and forth of conversation between us, so I carry on.
“So, you know about my name, why don’t you tell me how you got yours?”
I know their club names all have a story behind them. When I was back with the Ghost Riders I had my own names for everyone but I never shared them because they weren’t kind.
Sparky looks at me for a long moment before answering.
“My real name is Jason Carter. I was given the name Sparky ‘cos I have a talent with things that go bang.”
I like that he’s always truthful when I ask him a question. If he doesn’t want to answer, instead of lying he says nothing or mutters it’s club business. My father was adamant the explosion at his club house was down to the Lost Souls. It was the catalyst of Alannah being taken from the cabin.
“You’re the one who blew the place up?” I gasp.
His head snaps back towards me and studies me for a moment before replying.
“I heard you were caught up in it?” he asked, avoiding my question.
It was the first time I tried to escape and failed.
My father’s anger at my apparent lack of loyalty to him was soon replaced with a sickening glee when he found out where Alannah was staying.
“I was there. I was on my way to see Alannah when I was knocked down.”
“I’m not saying it was me but if it was then I wouldn’t have done it if I knew you were there” he says, still avoiding making eye contact with me.
I don’t know whether I believe him on either account. I think it’s likely he was the one who put the explosives in place and I doubt I’ll ever know if he would have gone through with it or not if he knew I was there.
We mutually agreed it was the end of that conversation as he sits just as quietly as me, content to be outside without anyone around us. Transfixed with the sway of the trees in the light wind and the soft ripples through the water, I daydream about my new place again. I think I’d like it by the water, there’s something relaxing about being here.
After a while he asks me all sorts of questions, I sit answering each question on what music I like, apparently my music tastes suck compared to his. I’m more soul and country while he loves heavy metal and rock. I was surprised to find out he reads too. He is more of a horror fan where as I like the romances with the happy-ever-afters. He likes the action movies and I like the chick flicks as he calls them. The more we talk, the more we find out we have nothing in common but I still feel an attraction to him. Unless I’m reading into things wrong, I think he feels the same about me.
We had been talking so intently, neither of us had noticed the sun going down until his cell rang. It’s not technically eavesdropping on his call but I could still hear him as he walked off to talk. By the sounds of it, he was being checked up on and he didn’t like it. He agreed to something and hung up.
“Time to go?” I asked as he walked back to me.
“Afraid so.”
“It’s getting cold out anyway,” I say, making my way to my feet.
I take one last look around at our surroundings and find they are still as beautiful during sun set, a wash of different colours. Simply beautiful.
“I can bring you back again sometime, if you like?” he shrugs.
“I’d like that,” I smile.
“Especially if you wrap your legs around me like you did on the way here,” he says, suggestively.
At the beginning of this week I would have found this flirting humiliating but after spending time with him today, genuinely talking and laughing, I find myself laughing out loud.
I climb on his bike behind him and intentionally give my legs an extra squeeze around him.
I feel his back vibrating from laughter, then I feel myself vibrating from the engine in a good way…definitely in a good way.
Chapter Eight
Bonnie...
I know I should be gone now. I’ve felt physically the best I’ve ever felt in years and the only marks I bear now are the scars I’ll never be rid of. So I ask myself again, why am I still here? It’s the same answer every time…Sparky. Since he took me to the lake a couple of weeks ago, something has definitely changed between us. When he stays in his room with me, I feel he wants to, not because Cas is making him. I don’t know how Cas feels about me still being at the club because I don’t see him much, but I do remember how adamant he was that I had to leave when I was stronger. As ever, Alannah is more than happy I’m around. She truly is my best friend and however much I find I’m not welcome by the others, she makes up for that on her own.
I know I’m getting too used to being here and somehow we have fell into a routine. Each day begins with us waking up in each other’s arms. Obviously even in my sleep I still want him because I certainly don’t go near him when I’m awake. He goes off and gets us breakfast while I shower and then we eat while a movie is playing on his TV, which I didn’t know was in here until he removed a tee shirt covering it in the corner. He learned quickly I wouldn’t want to leave his room unless we were going to the lakes so we have spent an awful lot of time there, it’s like it is our world. Twice he has dragged me to the bar, but I’m too self-conscious to stay long. They still stare at me like I’m from outer space or something and it’s easier to stay out of sight. Sly touches and brushing past one another has become more frequent too, trying to fall asleep in the same bed as him sends me into fucking overdrive, I’m surprised he can’t feel my need for him a mile off. I hate to think what it is going to be like sleeping on my own when I eventually leave. I’m not stupid, I know I’ll be going soon.
Sparky left a short while ago to attend church and soon after Alannah came in and sat with me.
“Off to the lakes again?” she asks, noticing the warm clothes I’m laying out.
“Yeah, I love it there.”
“I’ve got to say, I don’t know who has changed more, you or Sparky?” she states, making herself comfortable on the couch.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you are still here even though you could have left a week ago. You’re stronger not just physically but emotionally. I’ve never seen you like this, you know smiling and happy. I like it,” she smiles kindly.
I like the new happy me too. I smile and sit beside her.
“How has Sparky changed?” I ask, intrigued what she has seen that I haven’t.
“I don’t know if you noticed but at college he was dying to get in your panties?” she laughed.
I nod. I did notice but I never had the confidence to speak to him, let alone let him in my panties.
“Since you’ve been here, I don’t know, he’s different with you. Sparky is very much a ladies man and from what I’ve seen, you’re the only lady I see him with. He missed last Saturday’s party and didn’t moan about it or get me to sit with you while he went.”
I snort with laughter, “Me, I’m hardly a lady.”
We burst into giggles and carry on gossiping until she has to leave. Between Alannah and Sparky, I don’t know who I am going to miss more.
Sparky told me to be ready for when church finishes and we can go to the lakes again. The length of their meetings vary in time so I decide to shower and then read until he comes back.
If Alannah has seen a change in him, maybe what I’m feeling isn’t one way? I pluck one of the razors I brought the other week out of the packet and take it in the shower with me, best to be prepared in case something does happen between us. Well, a girl can hope.
Then doubt creeps in again like the black plague. Alannah said he was very much a ladies man. I’ve been here a few weeks, what if he hasn’t been going without? This lifestyle doesn’t fool me, just because you have the ring on your finger doesn’t mean the man who put it there is faithful. Also, me and Sparky aren’t anything, we haven’t even kissed. If he’s been with one woman or ten, I have no right to feel anything about it. Forcing myself to think of something different, I carry on showering and hope tonight is the night that Sparky uses his muscles on me. For the first time in my life, sex is something I crave and need not something I dread and fear.
Sparky...
Bonnie’s confidence is growing every day, and it only makes me want her more. I figured she would be long gone by now but she’s still here. She was adamant once she was better, she would leave. Her bruises are virtually gone now and she moves fluidly, not like someone in pain. Yet I am still waking up to her snuggled against me every morning. I told her after church I would take her to the lakes again. It has become her sanctuary. Her whole body relaxes while she is there and I relax along with her. Slowly getting to know her I find she is funny as well as beautiful. Sometimes when she isn’t sure of herself, I put it down to her past that she still won’t tell me about and move on.
I know she will go soon but we both know she can’t stay held up in my room. But for the moment I am happy this way. As all of my time has been spent with Bonnie I haven’t been on any runs lately and I haven’t been involved in any of the rebuilding of relations with the Devils Bastards. Listening to the talk now at the table, the meet Oak set up last week didn�
�t go down well. They took Cas’s and my no show as disrespect and refused to do business.
“We need them to agree. If it takes my presence to remind them who is the superior club so be it. Oak, set up another meet. Same place, same time and then we’ll show them why they don’t want to keep fuckin’ us around. I want you with us as well Sparky,” Cas said.
“Sure.”
I’m already arranging for Alannah to keep Bonnie company while I’m gone when Cas speaks up again.
“Okay, Bonnie has been here a while now, she’s fully healed according to Lana. Do you disagree?” he asks me.
“She’s good now,” I say, not liking where this is going.
“Good, then I think it’s time she went. We haven’t heard a fuckin’ peep from her brother, maybe what she heard was all talk. A little boy trying to fill his father’s boots?” he says.
Heads around the table nod in agreement.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say, waiting for the backlash they’re going to throw at me.
“Sparks, we haven’t heard nothing. If Joe has started a war then he hasn’t brought it to our door. Maybe you and Lana were right, she only wanted to warn us, and protection to heal.”
“What if they want us feel safe, bide their time and catch us off guard? If we pitch her out, they’ll take it as we think she is safe and so are we.”
And here comes their taunts of my defending her.
“You just want constant fuckin’ pussy on lockdown in ya room,” Oak roars with laughter.
“It’s not like that,” I defend myself, and immediately wish I hadn’t.
“Oh, so you’re not fuckin’ her then?” Slade puts in.
Whether I answer a truthful no or lie and say I am, it doesn’t help my case.
“No wonder the bitch has got ya acting crazy, ya balls must ache.”
With that, the whole table erupts with laughter at my expense. I’m beginning to lose my patience with these fuckers and roll my neck.
Cas is the first to notice and brings order to the table again.
Biker Faith Page 7
