Ana joined her sister upstairs and they painted until they could barely lift their speckled fuchsia arms and Eva’s walls were thoroughly coated in Pepto Pink (Ana’s private name for the color).
She began the cleanup process while her sister mysteriously disappeared.
Her pocket began to ring and she pulled out her cellphone, careful not to get paint on it.
“Hello?”
Chance’s deep voice filled her ears. “It’s me. Sorry I missed your call—I was out on a walk. So, what’s up tonight?”
It was ridiculous how happy she felt hearing his voice again. She chastised herself for getting so excited.
“Well, if you don’t mind meeting my aunt and uncle, eating trout and getting assaulted with never-ending fishing stories, then you’re welcome to come over. I forgot they were going to be here tonight.”
“Um, sounds great—when do you want me?”
“The sooner the better. I’m headed to the shower now so I don’t look like cotton candy when you get here.” Ana pulled her hair free from her ponytail and picked at pink spots on her arms.
“Hmmm, hold on, let me picture it. Nope, wait ten minutes so I can see for myself.” Chance laughed into the phone. “Don’t like pink?”
Ana threatened. “Ha, ha. I have enough paint for you too.”
“Okay—be right there.”
“Bye.” Ana shut her phone and dropped it back into her pocket.
After she sealed the paint can, Ana grabbed the rollers, brushes, and trays, and carried them all downstairs. On her way outside she passed her mom and called to her, “Chance is on his way—he’ll be here soon.”
Melissa ran to open the front door, held it open and said, “Great! Can I put him to work? That light bulb needs changing on the back porch.”
Ana snorted in response and hurried with the paint supplies to the shed at the end of the driveway. She cleaned the brushes, tossed the used rollers into the trash and walked back to the house. When she approached the house, she noticed a dust trail rise behind the glint of black paint.
Chance pulled up and got out of his truck and appraised Ana with a grin. He stood back and made a show of checking her out from head to toe. Ana curtsied and flipped her hair as she played along.
“Okay, you caught me in my shining glory.” She held her arms out to display her ratty clothes, oddly comfortable in front of him even at her worst.
He walked up to her with his eyes on her hair and said, “May not be your favorite color, but hey, you’d look good in anything.” He reached up and rubbed a smear of paint off her neck and laughed.
Ana closed her eyes at his sudden touch. Electricity coursed under her skin. Her cheeks burned and she swayed in place, dizzy from exhaustion. Chance’s fingers pressed against her shoulders, holding her steady. When she looked up at him his eyes drifted past her face to the edge of her droopy t-shirt. Ana tugged at the back of her shirt, pulling the v-neck upward, and quickly covered the light line on her chest that rose to the top of her sternum.
As if he understood how uncomfortable he’d made her, he placed his hand on her back and guided her into the house. “You deserve your shower now.”
***
After Ana showered, washed her hair and cleaned the paint from beneath her fingernails, she felt human again, albeit a tired human. She didn’t feel like wearing anything more than her favorite pair of sweats and long-sleeve shirt. Once her hair had been combed through, she made her way down to the kitchen, where she found Chance and Melissa talking as they prepared a dish for dinner.
“Putting him to work, already?”
“Hey now, he volunteered. Tera and Jace are on their way—think you can go start the barbecue for me?”
Ana withdrew a long lighter and went out to the back deck. The sun created a soft sepia light that illuminated everything around her in an apricot veil. She sucked in the crisp air and tasted the fir trees on her tongue. Ana thought she heard the sound of tires on the driveway and lit the barbecue, then went back inside to tell her mother.
Melissa was busy doing something with carrots that didn’t resemble any dish Ana was familiar with. She looked up at Ana, a knife held midair. “Baby—can you get the door for me? My hands are a mess. Welcome them in please?”
Chance stopped chopping his pile of vegetables and joined Ana who beckoned him to the living room to greet her family. She opened the door just as Aunt Tera’s hand was mid-air and prepared knock.
“Hi, sweetheart! Oh, the house looks so cute! I can see your mother’s touch. And it smells like it’s been airing out nicely. Where’s Mel?” Aunt Tera stepped inside with a flowery bowl filled with potato salad and stopped in front of Chance. “Oh! Now, who are you?!”
Uncle Jace wiped his shoes off on the mat and popped inside after Tera’s exclamation. He was wearing the same hat as last time, his damp hair curled beneath the darkened band.
“Aunt Tera, Uncle Jace—this is Chance.”
Jace hooted. “Finally! One more for the team! Please tell me you fish?!” His brightened eyes were ready for an audience and he held out a large zippered bag with four dead trout packed in ice.
Chance shifted his weight to his back foot. “Yeah. I go out with my dad sometimes.” Chance’s eyes darted to Ana, who gave him a thumb’s up sign and a guilty smile.
Uncle Jace seemed to taste victory. For once in a long time, he wasn’t alone in a sea of estrogen. His eyes sparkled. Ana thought he could hear angel’s singing—or maybe fish splashing.
“Now, calm down hon. It doesn’t mean you can unbutton your pants after dinner or go leaving the toilet seat up. Us girls still outnumber you!” Aunt Tera patted his shoulder and winked at Ana before she went to the kitchen. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chance.”
After Jace’s boisterous welcome, Chance appeared to take everything in stride. He did, however, adopt an amused expression like he was watching a really bad “B” movie he couldn’t help but enjoy. Uncle Jace’s unabridged fishing stories streamed one after another and Chance remained in rapt attention. Ana wondered if he was truly interested, if he was counting ceiling beams, or if he was bored beyond belief and a convincing actor. The only danger he appeared to be in was falling into a coma induced by boredom, so Ana gave him a sympathetic glance and disappeared into the kitchen.
Aunt Tera was deep in conversation with her sister when Ana entered. “…It’s so great she’s finally reached out to someone, but why hasn’t she told him…”
After they saw Ana, their discussion grew quiet and Aunt Tera started up about the kitchen décor. “I think a creamy buttercup yellow would lighten it up considerably. If you put a nice white valance above the window it would look so cute.” She pointed at the bare casement.
“Don’t let me interrupt your conversion.” Ana muttered and walked up to a cupboard just to shut it with a bang.
Melissa and Tera exchanged a glance. Then Melissa said with a nervous laugh, “I guess we can’t fool her like we used to.”
Aunt Tera nodded in agreement and said, “Caught.” Then after a moment of silence she smiled. “So, Chance seems like a nice boy.”
Ana responded through her clenched jaw. “Yes, we seem to have a lot in common.”
“He’s quite good looking.” Aunt Tera grinned and gave her a wink.
Ana blushed and was prepared to leave when Aunt Tera wrapped her arms around her. Trapped.
“You deserve all the best, sweetie. I’m so happy to see you with a new friend,” Tera whispered in her ear.
Although her aunt was overbearing, Ana knew she meant well. Ana reluctantly turned and hugged her back. She sighed, “Thanks, Aunt Tera.”
“So, tell me about him?”
Ana freed herself from her aunt’s embrace and answered, “Well, I met him in photography class. He likes being outdoors like me. I guess he works at an auto body shop and his family’s really nice. His mom’s a nurse and his dad has a jewelry shop near some ma
rina.”
“That’s great, Ana. It sounds like you have some things in common.” Just when Ana thought she had escaped without too much humiliation, her aunt continued, “I was wondering though—why you haven’t told him about your heart?”
“Nice, Mom. Thanks for talking about me behind my back.” Ana glared at her mother. Ana couldn’t believe that what she’d told Melissa in confidence had been shared with her aunt.
Melissa flinched and covered her face before she pleaded with Ana. “I’m just concerned, baby. I know you like him and understand why you don’t want to tell him. I just worry that holding onto your secret will hurt you more in the end.”
“It always ruins everything!” Ana said with a hiss and stomped her foot. “I’m enjoying being normal. Everything will fall apart anyway. So, I might as well enjoy a piece of cake before it goes bad.” Ana kept her voice low, not wanting to alert anyone in the other room about their discussion.
Aunt Tera adopted a bewildered look and said in astonishment, “Ana!”
She didn’t want pity or a lecture, so Ana stormed out the back door to get a breath of fresh air. Overwhelmed, and with eyes stinging, she ran on the path to her sanctuary. Perched cross-legged on the rock, her vision blurred as she let her tears flow. Warm drops found a pathway down her cheeks and a soft groan broke from her lips. She picked up a small rock and threw it as far as she could, tracking its arc into the dark wilderness. A branch snapped behind her and she turned to see Melissa emerge from the trail. Ana spun back and folded her arms across her chest.
“I’m sorry to intrude, but I need to apologize. I’m sorry I talked to Tera about everything. You know I’ll support you in all of your decisions and I don’t try to question you. You’re old enough to make your own choices. I guess you are technically an adult now.”
Ana grimaced at the horizon and released her tension. She opened her palms upward. “I know you just worry about me, Mom. I know you mean the best. It’s just that, it’s been bothering me too.”
Her tears started to flow again. Her body shook and she began to sob. Through choked breaths she continued. “I don’t want to lie to Chance. Maybe it isn’t really lying, but it feels like it. I don’t want him to know. I’m afraid he’s just going to leave when he finds out.” Ana threw her head into her hands in defeat, her shoulders slumped. Her mind spiraled into a tornado and her mother’s hand anchored lightly on her shoulder.
Melissa’s emotion was close to the surface when she said, “Baby, it was never your fault. Your dad didn’t leave because of you. I don’t want you carrying around this pain inside. Dad and I just weren’t meant to be. He would have left even if you weren’t born different. He was never mature enough to have a wife and kids. Don’t let your dad ruin what you have with Chance. I can see how you feel about him and I want you to be happy. You’re a caring, unique person who deserves to be loved—broken heart and all.”
Ana saw her mother’s watery eyes and the love within. Her mother was right. But she couldn’t help feeling like a bug repellant for people—extra strength formula.
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.” After studying her hands, she noted the slight purple tinge near the tips and said, “I know you’re right, I just want a little more time.”
In so many ways.
It was time to make choice. Doing nothing was just as much of a choice as telling him. Ana took a deep breath. “If he hangs around for another two weeks, I’ll tell him after my doctor appointment—no later. I will tell him.”
Melissa said, “I can’t remember where I heard it, but it clicked for me—‘The truth will set you free, but first, it’ll piss you off.’”
An involuntary laugh ripped from Ana’s lungs as she wiped the tears from her face. Then she pressed her cool hands against her puffy eyes and knew they were beyond splotchy. She could imagine a neon sign above her head that said, I’ve been crying. She hated to draw attention to herself which is why she never got so upset.
“By the way, baby—this is really nice. No wonder you spend so much time out here. I’ll see you inside—take your time. I won’t let anyone know. Love you.” Melissa blew her a kiss and walked back to the house.
Ana sat for a few more minutes and hoped her inflamed eyes would fade so she wouldn’t need to explain. She walked back and when she spotted Chance her anxiety ebbed.
***
He was happy to see Ana again and noticed how bright her eyes were. She must have been crying. He wanted to comfort her, but had seen how sensitive and proud she was. He moved near and allowed the warmth from her closeness to satisfy his need to soothe her. It would have to be enough.
Ana swayed on her feet and leaned against him for support. Chance squeezed her hand. When she met his eyes, he looked at her with concern. Just at that moment, Jace appeared with a platter of fish and exclaimed, “Prepare yourselves for the best thing on earth.”
He set the platter at the center of the table with an extra flourish. All throughout dinner, Ana seemed to struggle to keep her eyes open while she ate. Chance grew unsettled while he observed her and noticed her lavender fingers and lips. Unsure what was wrong, he sensed he should protect her, but from what, he didn’t know. All he wanted to do was keep her safe and happy. He wondered how easy that would be.
After dinner, Tera and Jace gathered their things to go. Melissa attempted to send the fish leftovers home with her sister, who laughed at her when she tried. “Are you kidding, Mel? I have enough fish in my freezer to repopulate the Great Lakes.”
Uncle Jace waved and led Aunt Tera outside as she continued to chat with her sister until Jace shut her car door with a satisfied grin.
Chance eyed the door and said, “Well, you look tired. I think I should leave too.”
“It’s only eight o’clock though,” Ana said discouraged. “How about watching a movie on the couch?”
Without an answer she grabbed his hand and led him to the sofa. She put on a comedy and settled in beside him. Eva joined them, while Melissa went upstairs to gather a load of laundry. Ten minutes later, she came into the living room with a basket of clean clothes. “Make yourself useful, Eva. Can you fold these for me?”
Melissa had dark bags under her eyes but a spring in her step. She disappeared into the kitchen and soon he heard the familiar sound of dishes being washed.
“Fine.” Eva dragged herself off the couch to fold the mish-mash of white laundry that stuck out of the battered blue basket.
Something heavy weighed against him. Ana’s head rest on his shoulder and he realized she had fallen asleep. Rather than being amused, he grew even more concerned. He turned to Eva, who hummed as she busily balled up socks. She broke off after she looked at her sister with solemn eyes.
He asked Eva, “Maybe I should carry her to bed?”
She nodded, averted her sad eyes and continued to fold the laundry in silence. Chance scooped Ana up in his arms and walked to the kitchen. The entire time, Ana didn’t stir. Melissa turned when he approached and without a word, led the way upstairs. She pointed to the end of the hallway and Chance pushed through the door into a darkened room. Melissa flipped the switch and pulled down the sheets to Ana’s bed.
With a deep breath, Chance filled his lungs with Ana’s scent, lay her down on the bed and brushed his lips past her forehead. Melissa turned away quickly, but Chance saw her reflection in the window. Her cheek quivered and he heard her deep raspy breathing. When she returned to her daughter’s side composed and in control, she removed Ana’s shoes and without a sound, he left the room. While he descended the stairs, sheets rustled and a soft whisper met his ears, “Good night, baby.”
Melissa rubbed her eyes when she joined Chance in the kitchen. She seemed sad, but she wore the emotion like an old pair of jeans. It made him uneasy.
“Thanks for taking her up,” Melissa said and touched his arm. She stared at the floor for a long moment before she looked up and held his gaze. “It’s nice having you around. It�
�s good knowing there’s someone else looking out for her.” Melissa seemed to stop short as though she had said too much.
“Anything else I can help you with tonight?” Chance asked. He needed to feel useful.
Melissa’s eyes softened. “You’re sweet, Chance.”
Frustrated and powerless, he knew something was wrong. It was as clear as day, but he just didn’t know what. Everyone was skirting around the subject, but it was as obvious as a smoking caterpillar on a toadstool.
Melissa stepped forward and gave him a hug, as though she hoped to smooth his concerns. “We’re fine, really, thanks for offering. Don’t worry, Chance. She’ll be okay after a good night’s sleep. You’ll see.”
Chance nodded and reluctantly wandered into the living room as Melissa trailed behind. He gave Eva a high five before he pulled out his keys. Outside by his truck, he stood and listened to the trees sway around him. The sounds from other animals were absent, but he knew they were there. He could sense them.
Chapter 11
Late Sunday morning Ana woke with a start. She squinted at the window, having the feeling she was being watched, but nothing was there but the trees rustling outside. Had she heard wings flapping? Strange sounds had coaxed her from sleep throughout the morning, but she’d only plunged her head deeper under the pillows.
Ana looked at her clock and saw how late it was. She couldn’t remember how she got to bed or when Chance had left. Clothes stuck to her moist skin and she realized she was still wearing what she had on yesterday. Nice.
With a shake of her head, she peeled off her sweaty, wrinkled garments, threw them in the hamper and grabbed a fresh set. Maybe I was abducted by aliens, she laughed to herself. She gazed at her tangled reflection in a small mirror on the wall and combed out the bird’s nest.
“Good morning, sunshine,” Melissa said as Ana emerged downstairs.
The sound of cartoons drifted in from the living room. Ana rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched, triggering an unwelcome head rush. Her arm shot out and she leaned against the wall for support. Melissa eyed her cautiously and then forced her daughter onto a kitchen chair.
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