“Hi…” Kiana steps into my office, and she’s all smiles—goddamn, her smile is so intoxicating.
“We need to talk.” I walk to her.
“Am I not allowed to surprise you at work?” She bites down on her bottom lip and steps into my arms. I embrace her out of instinct.
“It’s not that, it’s…” I’m silenced by a kiss. Instinct kicks in again.
Kiana’s lips are more intoxicating than her smile. One kiss. Then I can tell her everything. It’ll have to be a rushed discussion, but she can’t be in the building when her father is literally working a few offices away.
I tell myself, once again, that last night was my opportunity. I let temptation take me away and savored it until morning, then I left without ruining any of our moments.
I really hope this doesn’t ruin everything.
“Wait, there’s something…” I let out a gasp when our lips finally part.
“I know, I’m being a very bad girl by visiting you at work.” She smiles and her hand moves to my cock, then she lifts up to silence the next thing I try to say.
In my head, every word that needs to be said spills across my lips. But that doesn’t happen. Instead of saying the words, my body reacts to our touch, and I kiss her one more time. My hands move to her hips. She’s so fucking amazing. I wish I could just hold her all day. I feel myself slipping into the same swirl of desire that consumed me last night. No, I can’t…
“What the fuck!?” A voice startles me, a voice I recognize as well as my own—the voice of a very confused father.
“Mr. Brooks, you can’t go in there. Oh my god!” Joanna’s voice is next, and while I assumed that she knew after Kiana’s arrival, it’s clear she didn’t put every piece together.
Everything seems to move in slow motion. Kiana’s lips jerk away from mine. Her eyes fill with panic, and I’m sure mine reflect the exact same thing. I turn in time to see the look on Lawson’s face shift from confusion to rage while Joanna continues to look like she’s just witnessed a murder. That may be exactly what she’s going to witness—fuck, why did I let myself get so consumed and distracted.
“Dad! What are you doing here!?” Kiana’s eyes fill with tears.
Lawson doesn’t respond to her. He walks toward me. Kiana shatters in an instant. It overwhelms her. Then she runs. Away from me, away from her father, and she nearly knocks Joanna down when she bolts from my office. I turn my attention back to Lawson in time to see his fist coming.
I could dodge.
I could block it and break his arm if I wanted.
But I don’t.
I take the punch I deserve. It crashes into my jaw so hard I’m sure I feel something crack. I spin and don’t try to keep myself steady. I go down in a heap. Several kicks come next. Into my back, into my ribs, and one hits my kidney.
Absolute chaos.
Lawson screams with rage.
Motherfucker. Bastard. Son of a bitch. He hurls every insult as he continues to attack me. I could’ve avoided it all if I had just told Kiana—if I had just turned Lawson away when he came to me for help. But I didn’t. This is my reward.
The beating stops. I open my eyes enough to see security in the room. Lawson is tackled, but he doesn’t stop screaming, even when they finally drag him away. I put a hand on my desk and see blood pooling on the floor. It’s dripping from my face, probably my nose or my mouth, but it doesn’t matter. I’d bleed for Kiana every day of the week if I had to.
“Mr. Ward! Oh my god! You need to go to the hospital!” Joanna rushes to my side and tries to help me stand.
“I’m fine!” I push her off and catch a glimpse of my reflection in my office window. I’m a fucking mess. “Just leave me alone!”
Joanna’s concern turns into compliance. Security drags Lawson away, and Joanna slowly backsteps until she reaches the door. Behind her, I see a room full of people who are thoroughly confused. They heard the commotion and came running, then they witnessed a nightmare.
There is one more sigh of concern from Joanna before she pulls my door closed.
My head is pounding, and my entire body hurts, but the only thing on my mind is Kiana. I fumble around in my pocket until I pull out my phone and grimace when I see that the screen is cracked. I try to turn it on, and it flickers a couple of times before it dies. It must have broken when I hit the floor, or one of Lawson’s kicks finished it off. Either way, it isn’t working. I don’t even know Kiana’s number—it was programmed into my phone.
Maybe she went back to my place. It’s wishful thinking, but I have to try.
I take a moment to clean myself up with a few napkins from lunch, and then I leave my office. I can feel every eye on me. All of my employees, they probably think the worst of me; office gossip doesn’t take long to spread. It isn’t that hard to put the pieces together.
“Mr. Ward, should I call someone for you?” Joanna stands as I walk past her desk.
“No, I’m fine.” It comes out like a bark with a tone much harsher than she deserves. I’ll have to apologize later.
My face is on fire. My body feels like it has been stomped into the floor. Fuck it, the pain is good for me. It’s a physical reminder of the hurt I’ve caused by being careless. There would have been a time when Kiana and I had to eventually tell Lawson about our relationship. His reaction might not have been much different, but at least it would have been a little more controlled.
Kiana doesn’t have the best relationship with him, but she definitely didn’t want him to find out like this. I know that, even if we’ve never discussed it.
Everything could have been avoided if I had just told her the truth last night—or this morning. I allowed myself to get drawn into temptation until the inferno I feared was bellowing around me, and it may have consumed everything we had.
I pray that isn’t the case. I don’t know where we go from here, but I’m not prepared for it to end. Not like this. Not ever.
I can’t lose her…
The elevator takes forever. It feels like a descent into hell with uncertainties hitting me like harsh realities I don’t want to face. I finally make it to the parking garage and fumble for my keys. I normally don’t fumble like this. Did Lawson’s punch kill a few brain cells in the process? I hope it’s just adrenaline wearing off.
“Bram Ward?” A voice startles me, and I turn to see a thick-bodied Hispanic man step out of the darkness.
“Yeah?” I raise my eyebrows in confusion.
I don’t recognize him. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a few gold necklaces hang from his neck. I draw myself into a defensive stance. Is he going to rob me? He knows me by name…
“Mr. Diaz wants to have a talk.” He takes a few steps toward me, and I clench my fists. He stops abruptly and a cracks a smile before motioning to a car that is idling nearby.
“What? It’s not time for my next payment,” I say apprehensively.
“He still wants to have a talk.” His tone stiffens, and it’s clear that this is not a request.
I don’t have time for this. I need to get to Kiana. I could probably take this thug in a fight, but who knows how many other guys Diaz has with him. Some fights aren’t worth starting, nor are they worth the repercussions. I would take a hundred punches and kicks from Lawson if it meant I could hold Kiana when his rage was gone, but Diaz represents actual danger—for Kiana, for her brother. I’ll just have to make time.
“Okay.” I nod and walk to the car.
The door opens, and I see Diaz alone in the backseat. He beckons for me to enter. Another one of his guys is sitting in the driver’s seat, and the thug who approached me walks up to the passenger side.
“Is there a problem?” I sit down and close the door.
“We need to have a little chat.” Diaz smiles. As soon as the thug is in the car, it starts moving.
“We can talk if you want, but I have somewhere to be…” I tighten my jaw and get a quick reminder that it could be broken.
/> “It’s about your payment arrangement.” Diaz ignores what I said and motions for his guy to keep driving.
“You’re going to get your money, just like we agreed.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“I’m starting to have a few concerns about that agreement.” Diaz nods. “I normally allow people who aren’t in the best position financially to pay off their debts—I consider myself a generous man. I don’t like it when someone takes advantage of me.”
“I hope you aren’t saying that I’ve taken advantage of you.” I tilt my head slightly. Even that hurts. “I came to you and made a deal…”
“A one-sided deal, yes.” He nods again. “Your company makes a lot of money, Bram. I feel like someone in your position should be able to pay their debt in full.”
“My debt?” I growl under my breath. “I told you from the beginning—I’m just trying to help out my friend’s kid. Ten grand a month is extremely generous. That’s a lot more than you were getting from Kiana!”
“And I told you that once we made the deal, it was your debt to pay.” Diaz’s eye twitches. “You said you understood that.”
“You said we already had a deal.” I feel my blood pumping harder in my veins. “We shook hands.”
Diaz picked the wrong day to fuck with me. I made a deal with him. I honored it. I’m paying him ten grand a month, which is a whole lot more than Kiana would have ever been able to pay. He’s getting the best end of this deal—but he’s trying to press me for more. I’m far past the point of being in the mood to deal with an overzealous loan shark, because I have matters that are a lot more pressing.
“You’re right, Bram.” Diaz’s eye stops twitching, and a smile spreads across his face. “We’ll stick with the terms that we agreed on.”
“Thank you.” I reply cautiously.
“You can pull over here. This is his stop.” Diaz motions to his driver, and the car grinds to a stop.
I won’t even ask if he can take me back to the parking garage where he picked me up. The faster I’m out of this car, the better. The chances of maintaining my cool if this conversation gets even more heated are slim. I feel like punching something or someone, and Diaz’s face looks like a damn fine target, so it’s best if I just go.
“I’ll see you at the beginning of the month.” I start to open the door, but Diaz’s thug beats me to it.
“I got it.” He grins as I step out of the car and slams the door on my leg before my foot hits the pavement.
“Watch it!” I glare at him and jerk my leg free.
“My bad.” His grin gets wider, and he slams the door. “Guess we’ll be seeing you around, Bram Ward.”
“Yeah.” I narrow my eyes and growl under my breath. “Guess so…”
The car speeds off, and I check my leg. It aches, but there’s no real damage. Just another dose of pain to feel on my way back to the parking garage. I’m already hurting so much that it’s barely noticeable after a few steps.
The abrupt meeting with Diaz gave me a moment away from my mental torment over Kiana. It returns faster than Lawson’s fist aimed at my skull. This is a purgatory I made myself, damnation of my own design, and I deserve everything that comes with it.
Except for losing Kiana.
I won’t let that happen.
I knew the risks when I took them. I drove myself mad before I ever pulled her into my arms. It was a decision that came with the weight of the world attached to it, and I accepted the hell that could come my way. I just wanted to shield Kiana from it, to help her avoid putting herself in the direct path of her father until she was ready, and that was something we should have been able to do together.
“Fuck…” I mutter under my breath as I finally make it to the garage and see how much ground I have to cover before I make it to my car.
I used to be able to hike through the desert in full gear, and the walk back wouldn’t have been that bad if I wasn’t so fucked up. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train named Lawson Brooks. A train might have been kinder.
The drive to my house has never been so urgent. I have to find Kiana, to talk to her—to try to sort all of this out.
“Kiana, are you here?” I enter my house like a madman, ignoring the pain that comes with every step until the emotional one kicks in.
She isn’t here.
She was, but now she’s gone.
I doubt she returned here after she visited the office. It looks like she had every intention of coming back because nothing she brought to my place is missing. I’m not sure I can blame her. I would have went in the opposite direction if I was in her shoes. But where would that be? Her apartment? Maybe. Unless she was afraid her father would come there.
I need to get my phone fixed. At least then I’ll be able to call her.
Her apartment is my first stop, just to be sure, and there is no response when I knock on the door. I have no idea if she would consider opening the door if she is on the other side. A phone isn’t perfect, but I can send her a text message. I can apologize. I can try to explain how it all went so wrong.
If she will even read them.
I wanted to protect her so fucking much, and all I did was throw her in harm’s way. Not all wounds are physical like the ones I currently wear. Emotional wounds can be so much worse, so much deeper, and Kiana already had plenty of them inflicted by her father before she ever graced my bed.
Lawson doesn’t deserve any sort of forgiveness for what he did to her in the past, but we’re not living there. We’re living in the present where he’s a father who just saw his daughter in the arms of his best friend—I’m sure it’s officially former best friend now. All he sees is ultimate betrayal, and he’ll never see how much we needed each other the first time our bodies gave in.
I’ll take a thousand beatings like the one he gave me today if it means I get to hold her in my arms again.
I’ve made my choice.
It’s Kiana.
It’s always Kiana.
Chapter Nineteen
Kiana
I’ve seen disappointment in my father’s eyes more times than I can count. Today I saw rage. Real, unbridled rage. Beneath it was a festering disappointment for me that I never envisioned. Well, that’s not entirely true. I certainly envisioned it a few times when I was dancing on that stage.
But this was worse than what I imagined. It was fury mixed with disdain. He’ll never call Bram his best friend again, and I’ll be surprised if he even claims me as a daughter.
I thought I could handle it. I really did. In the back of my mind, I knew there would be a point when Bram and I had a difficult conversation with my father. I convinced myself it would be emotional instead of violent. I thought he would come to terms with it after time.
Realistically, I didn’t put much thought into it. Not enough to be prepared for the confrontation. I was shocked, confused, and when shit started to hit the fan, fight-or-flight kicked in. I couldn’t stand the look on my father’s face. I couldn’t stand to see what he was going to do to Bram.
I couldn’t face either of them in the aftermath of chaos, so I ran before I truly began.
“Can I help you, ma’am?” A voice startles me, and I look up to see the convenience store clerk with a perplexed look.
How long have I been standing in this one spot—seemingly staring at a vast array of snacks I have no appetite for?
“I’m fine.” I nod and fight back another wave of tears.
When I left Bram’s office, I got on the first bus I saw. I rode it for a while, and when most of the passengers were gone, I simply got off. I barely know where I am. The convenience store looked like a good place to stand aimlessly, but I’m drawing attention to myself, which is the last thing I need.
I just need somewhere to cry.
Somewhere to wallow in my own misery.
I can’t go back to Bram’s house. I can’t go back to my apartment. I’m not ready to face Bram or my father.
My phone buzzes in my purse. It’s
my mother. The fifth call I’ve gotten from her since the eruption of chaos in Bram’s office. She obviously knows. My father told her as soon as he got done with Bram.
I can’t listen to her tell me how much of a disappointment I am. I can’t deal with the two of them ganging up on me like they did so many times when I was younger.
I’m not sure I can deal with anything right now.
“Ma’am, if you need any help at all, just let me know…” The convenience store clerk gives me another glance.
“I’m fine,” I repeat what I said before, then I walk to the exit.
I’d rather be somewhere else, anywhere else. I don’t want to draw attention to myself. I just want to be miserable.
It’s what I deserve for whispering so many lies into my own ears.
I put one foot in front of the other until the sidewalk gives way to a populated area with a few shops and a hotel about two blocks away. That looks perfect. It’s certainly better than standing in a convenience store. The rest of the walk there feels like I have weights on my shoes. There might be a small degree of comfort in loneliness. My body doesn’t think I deserve it, but it’s all I can manage.
“Hello! Welcome to the Marigold Hotel! Can I help you?” A cheerful clerk at the front desk smiles when I walk up to the desk. It’s his job to be happy, and he pulls it off—a stark contrast to the despair I’m muddling through.
“I need a room.” I reach into my purse and pull out my wallet.
“Sure thing. IS there a room in particular you had a mind? We have a wonderful selection…” He motions to a placard that has a list of the rooms and rates.
“That one.” I point at the cheapest and hand him my debit card along with my driver’s license.
The transaction is simple. He tries to upsell me their loyalty program and tell me about the amenities. I ignore him until he hands me my stuff back along with my room key. I feel like I’m walking through a fog as I make my way to the elevator and up to room 402. It’s a room filled with the bare-minimums, but even the cheapest room has a mini-bar so that people can spend their money on overpriced little bottles.
Daddy's Possessive Friend (Once Upon a Daddy Book 12) Page 13
