by Hazel Kelly
“But ever since that day in science class, we’ve been on a journey, don’t you think?”
“A journey full of days I didn’t enjoy nearly as much as I’m enjoying this one.”
I sighed. “That may be, but perhaps you’re only enjoying this day so much because you lived all those other days.”
“Okay, fine.”
“Fine?! That sounds like a cop out.”
“It is,” he said. “I’m happy with your assessment, and I’m too busy enjoying my journey right now to argue with you.”
“Our journey.”
“Right,” he said. “Our journey.”
I shook my head.
“What?”
“Remind me not to get sappy with you again.”
“Ahh.” He hugged me close. “I don’t mind if you get sappy. And I know you’re right. I do. After all, I spent the last several years telling myself that my family’s safety was a destination when, if I’d just looked at it differently, we might’ve been able to take a step in the right direction sooner.”
“I’m so glad your mom is taking her life back,” I said. “You must be so proud of her. What she’s going through can’t be easy.”
“Of course I’m proud of her,” he said. “But the best thing is that she isn’t going through it alone. She has all this support now, support neither of us even knew existed.”
I smiled.
“I just wished I’d asked for help sooner. Or that I’d even thought to ask. I don’t know.”
“Shh. None of that matters now. What matters is that it’s all going to be okay.”
“How did you get your mom to help?” he asked. “What did you say that made her intervene?”
“I’m not sure it was anything I said.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think it was more a matter of how I said it.”
He furrowed his brow. “Said what?”
“That I’m in love you.”
“You told your mom that?”
I scrunched my face. “Not exactly.”
“What exactly?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.
“She just saw it. She knew. I can’t explain it. Maybe it was mother’s intuition. Or maybe after doting on me my whole life, she knows me better than I know myself.”
“Wow.”
“It was kind of freaky,” I said. “But I guess the whole situation comes down to one big love chain, and you and I and our family members are like links holding it all together, making it work.”
“Stronger together.”
“Definitely.”
“Well, I know I said it already, but thanks again for putting yourself out there. I know better than anyone how hard it is to ask for help.”
“You don’t need to keep thanking me, Luke. You would’ve done the same for me.”
“I would’ve,” he said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I feel lighter than I have in years. Like I can actually be the man you deserve now.”
“You already were.”
He looked at me like he was bursting to keep the kind words coming but thought better of it, and in that moment, I felt more loved, seen, appreciated, and understood than in all the days leading up to it combined.
“Well,” I said, breathing him in. “I hope today is the first of many where I make you proud.”
He offered me a sideways smile, his dimple deepening in a way I felt in my chest. “I’ve no doubt that will be the case,” he said. “And I can’t wait to see how you surprise me next.”
“Speaking of surprises,” I said, feeling him swell against my stomach. “Are you getting all worked up again?”
He rocked his hips towards me. “I told you I liked this destination.”
“Journey,” I said. “It’s a journey.”
“That may be true,” he said, rolling back on top of me. “But even so, wouldn’t you consider this a good rest stop?”
“That depends.”
“On what?” he asked.
“On whether rest stops are for resting.”
“There will be plenty of time for resting later,” he said, flashing his eyebrows. “For now, though, I have other plans.”
“Plans I’m going to like?”
He laughed and dropped his forehead against mine. “There’s only one way to find out.”
F O R T Y F O U R
- Luke -
“You played great today,” Nikki said, leaning against the wall in the front room of the football house. “Must be nice to end the season on a high note.”
“Thanks,” I said, swirling the lukewarm beer in my Solo Cup. “Just glad I survived it, to be honest.”
“Do you have to train over Christmas break?” she asked, sipping on her jungle juice.
“No. You?”
“No. Thank God. I definitely need a break. Not just from cheering, but from the squad.”
“I can imagine,” I said, scanning the room to see if Rosie had returned from the bathroom yet. “Though Kimberly has grown on me.”
“She and Jordan have really hit it off, haven’t they?”
“Could’ve been you.”
“Naw. He’s too nice for me,” she said. “I would’ve chewed him right up. They’re a much better match.”
I wondered if I should ask about her love life, but it seemed disingenuous to pretend I cared.
“You and Rosie have any special plans for the holidays?”
I slung a thumb in my jeans pocket. “Just chillin’, I guess. Maybe some family time.”
“I heard you won her parents over at Thanksgiving.”
“Did she tell you that?” I asked.
“Yep.”
“Well, that’s good to know,” I said. “Her dad didn’t give anything away.”
“He’s a tough nut to crack, Mr. Bennet, but he’s crackable.”
“I’m open to suggestions,” I said. “Talking football is obviously not the way to his heart.”
“He likes DIY stuff,” she said. “If you really want to win him over, ask his advice on how to build or repair something. You’ll get big points just ’cause he’ll feel like you asked the right guy.”
“Yeah?”
“Guaranteed.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I owe you one.”
“In that case,” she said. “Maybe you could introduce me to number forty-four.”
“Forty-four?”
“On the basketball team.”
“Ahh jeez, Nikki. Not that guy.”
“Pleeaase.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine, but for the record, I don’t approve. The guy’s a total user.”
“I’m not looking for a husband,” she said. “Just something to make basketball season more interesting.”
“Fair enough,” I said, my eyes locking on Rosie as soon as she came back in the room.
“What took you so long?” Nikki asked, taking the words right out of my mouth. “I’ve never spent longer than I can hold my breath in the bathroom here.”
Rosie shrugged. “I went next door.”
Nikki crinkled her nose. “Next door?”
“Yeah,” she said. “It’s a football house, too, but they never have parties there, so the bathroom is, like, a hundred times more bearable.”
“Good tip,” Nikki said.
Rosie smiled.
“Can I get you a drink?” I asked, noticing she’d returned without a cup.
“No, I think I’m good,” she said. “I was actually thinking I’d go for a short walk. Get some fresh air.”
“That’s exactly what you’ll get with this cold snap,” Nikki said. “You can count me out.”
Rosie raised her eyebrows at me.
“Well, I’m hardly going to let you walk around alone,” I said. “Especially dressed like that.”
“Excuse you,” Nikki said. “Those are my clothes she’s wearing.”
“No shit,” I said.
Rosie laughed. “He’s always very attentive when I wear your clothes.�
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Nikki rolled her eyes. “I’ll leave you guys to it. Call me if you find a better party.”
Rosie pressed her cheek against Nikki’s and then went to wiggle her red coat from the pile on the couch by the door.
I drained the rest of my beer and left the cup in a stack of empties on the windowsill before following her out.
“So are you wasted or did you really just want some fresh air?” I asked, linking her arm on the sidewalk.
“A little bit of both,” she said, smiling at me. “Plus, I heard there’s a free concert in the park at the end of the block.”
“A free concert? It’s December.”
“Romantic, isn’t it?”
I looked up just in time to see the first flakes of snow drifting down from the gray-blue clouds. “It is now,” I said, lifting my eyebrows to call her attention to the flakes.
Her eyes grew wide as she watched them drift down around us.
“You were great today, by the way.”
“Did you see the tape?” she asked.
“See it? I’m the one who put it on YouTube.”
“Wait, what?”
“That was me,” I said. “From the very beginning.”
“But—how did you—”
“Friends in high places,” I said.
She squinted at me.
“Stewie’s the TA in my lit class.”
She shook her head. “But why—?”
“Because I want the whole world to know how freaking talented you are, and because I’m your number one fan.”
Her eyes smiled. “I’m actually starting to believe that.”
“Good,” I said, keeping hold of her arm as she stepped off the sidewalk onto the woodchips that covered the park floor. “I don’t see any concert happening here.”
She turned and linked her hands behind my neck. “Maybe you should get your eyes checked.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“Hey,” she said, rocking from side to side. “Mine have been checked. I’m due for contacts next week.”
I hung my hands on her hips. “Just for your reports, though, right?”
“You really like my glasses, huh?”
“I’ve always liked you in layers. Makes you more fun to unwrap.”
She rolled her eyes, her heavy lashes batting beneath her brow.
“You’re drunker than I thought.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked.
“Because you’re slow dancing to music only you can hear.”
She looked up at me. “You can’t hear that?”
I looked over her head at the empty park. The snow had started to stick at the bottom of the slide and on the seats of the U-shaped rubber swings.
“It’s our song,” she whispered.
I strained to hear. “Ahh yes.”
“The original one,” she said. “‘I Swear.’”
“Kind of ironic that we first danced to it because we hoped we’d never hear it again.”
“That’s not why we danced to it,” she said.
“No?”
She cocked her head. “We danced to it because it was only a matter of time.”
I pulled her closer.
“If it wasn’t this song, it would’ve been another. Eventually. Don’t you think?”
I smiled. “I do.”
She leaned back, sticking her tongue out to catch a fat flake.
“How was it?” I asked. “Tasty?”
“I can think of things I’d rather have in my mouth.”
“Careful,” I said. “More talk like that and we’ll never make it back to the party.”
“Fine by me,” she said. “I’m not opposed to a French exit.”
“Meaning…?”
“You know, when you just sneak out without saying goodbye.”
“And just let everyone think you blacked out?”
“Who cares what anyone else thinks,” she said. “I only care what you think.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think your charm and talent are matched only by how stunning you are.”
She scoffed. “And I think you’re trying to get laid.”
“Trying or succeeding?” I asked.
“I thought you said there is no try.”
“I did say that, didn’t I?”
“Any New Year’s resolutions?” she asked.
“Isn’t it a bit early to be making those?”
“If it is, then it’s probably too early to start thinking about who I’m going to kiss when the clock strikes twelve, and I’m guilty of that.”
“Wonder who the lucky guy is.”
She blushed. “I’ll let you know when I decide.”
“Resolutions. Hmmm.” I twisted my mouth. “I suppose I could make a few.”
“Like what?”
“I could resolve to not take you for granted—”
“Or interrupt me when I’m reading,” she added.
“Unless I have a good reason.”
“If by good reason, you mean urgent erection, then I accept.”
I laughed. “And you?”
Her eyes lit up. “I could resolve to be patient and accommodating when you have a good reason to interrupt me.”
“Didn’t you have some reading you were trying to do tonight?”
“No. I’ve been drinking since the game ended.”
“Shame,” I said. “’Cause I can think of a really good reason to interrupt you right now.”
She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed me, the steam from our mouths mingling as we parted our lips.
After a while, Rosie pulled away to catch her breath, looked me in the eye, and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Take me to bed, Luke Hudson.”
I scooped her up in my arms and started across campus. “I thought you’d never ask.”
E P I L O G U E
- Rosie -
Spring of Senior Year
When I first laughed in Luke’s face in science class our freshman year of high school, the last thing I could’ve predicted was that I’d be by his side eight years later during the NFL draft.
Okay, so I wasn’t technically by his side. I was by Patrick’s, but that was only because they wouldn’t let us any closer to the action than the auditorium seating, which we’d spent all night trying to secure tickets for.
“Rosie,” Patrick said, his voice several octaves lower than when I’d first met him four years ago.
“Yeah?” I asked, my eyes fixed on the stage so I wouldn’t miss Luke when he came out.
“You’re hurting my hand.”
“Sorry.” I let go and offered him a nervous smile. “I’m just excited.”
“Me too,” he said. “I know this is supposed to be Luke’s big day, but I’m so amped it’s like I’m the one who’s about to get drafted.”
“I know what you mean,” I said, tapping my toes. “I’ve been studying so much crazy football stuff so I’d know what the heck was going on when I got here, but my brain has gone to mush.”
“I can’t imagine how Luke feels,” he said. “He’s wanted this for as long as I can remember.”
“Did he tell you what he’s hoping for?” I asked, searching Patrick’s blue eyes. “Because I know he was sort of torn between Miami and Denver but—”
He shook his head. “That’s all I know, too. I think he was worried he’d jinx it if he said more.”
I exhaled slowly and clapped for some enormous guy on stage I’d never seen before.
“He should be up soon,” Patrick said. “What are you hoping for?”
“I’ll be happy as long as he’s happy.”
“You don’t have to spew those platitudes at me,” he said. “Be honest.”
“I like Miami’s colors better.”
He laughed. “God, you’re such a girl.”
“Nice observation,” I said, looking over my glasses at him.
“What about your job?”
“I’ll be excited to work at any station that
will have me,” I said. “I’m up for the adventure.”
“Let’s hope Luke’s attitude is just as positive.”
“As long as the three of us can build a nice life together-”
“The three of us?” He put a hand on my shoulder. “I know we get along great, Ro, but I can’t move across the country with you guys.”
I felt the color drain from my face.
“Holy shit.”
My eyes went wide. “Please don’t say anything.”
“Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”
I scrunched my nose.
He raised his eyebrows. “Am I going to be an uncle?”
“Shhhh.”
“Does Luke not know?!”
“I’m going to tell him,” I said. “I just didn’t want him to be distracted with this coming up.”
He dropped his head back. “Fuck.”
“I know the feeling,” I said. “This wasn’t exactly part of the plan. I mean, we discussed starting a family young, but I didn’t think anything would stick this soon.”
He rolled his shoulders back and let out a smug grin.
“Don’t make that face.”
“What?” he asked. “Can’t a guy be proud of his brother’s swimmers?”
I covered my burning cheeks.
“Relax, Rosie. I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you,” I said, turning to him.
“We’ll wait until the excitement dies down.”
I nodded.
“Except—hold on—that’s not going to happen because he’s about to get drafted.”
I followed Patrick’s wide eyes to the stage and held my breath as I strained to hear the man with the mike over the blood pounding in my temples.
Patrick grabbed my hand and squeezed it even harder than I could squeeze back.
“And the ninth pick of the NFL draft goes to the Denver Broncos, who select Luke Hudson…”
I burst into tears as Luke stepped into the spotlight with raised arms, the bright lights bouncing off his handsome face. And when he put the orange and blue hat on his head and held out his brand-new jersey for the cheering crowd, I couldn’t help but think that he looked larger than life.
As I blinked back the tears, it was hard to imagine that he was my sweetheart, my goofball, my partner in crime, because he looked like a hero up there. Of course, as far as I was concerned, he was. My hero. My rock. My best friend.
