CHAPTER XVIII
CAPTAINS BORIS AND JORIAN PROMOTE PEACE
Now this is the report which Captains Boris and Jorian, envoys (very)extraordinary from the Prince and Princess of Plassenburg to thereigning Duchess of Hohenstein, made to their home government upon theirreturn from the fords of the Alla.
They wrote it in collaboration, on the usual plan of one working and theother assisting him with advice.
Jorian, being of the rotund and complaisant faction, acquiesced in theproposal that he should do the writing. But as he never got beyond "Toour honoured Lord and Lady, Hugo and Helene, these----" there needs notto be any particularity as to his manner of acting the scribe. He mendedat a pen till it looked like a brush worn to the straggling point. Hesquared his elbows suddenly and overset the inkhorn. He daubed an entirefolio of paper with a completeness which left nothing to theimagination.
Then he remembered that he knew where a secretary was in waiting. Hewould go and borrow him. Jorian re-entered their bedroom with a beamingsmile, and the secretary held by the sleeve to prevent his escape. Bothfelt that already the report was as good as written. It began thus:--
"With great assiduity (a word suggested by the secretary) your envoysremembered your Highnesses' princely advice and command that we shouldinvolve ourselves in no warfare or other local disagreement. So when weheard that Hohenstein was to be invaded by the troops of the Prince ofCourtland we were deeply grieved.
"Nevertheless, judging it to be for the good of our country that weshould have a near view of the fighting, we left worthy and assuredsubstitutes in our place and room----"
"The parchment commission with a string round his belly!" explainedJorian, in answer to the young secretary's lifted eyebrow; "there he is,hiding behind the faggot-chest."
"Get on, Boris," quoth Jorian, from the settee on which he had thrownhimself; "it is your turn to lie."
"Good!" says Boris. And did it as followeth:--
"We left our arms behind us----"
"Such as we could not carry," added Jorian under his breath. Thesecretary, a wise youth--full of the new learning and of talk concerningcertain books printed on paper and bound all with one _druck_ of a greatmachine like a cheese-press--held his pen suspended over the paper indoubt what to write.
"Do not mind him," said Boris. "_I_ am dictating this report."
"Yes, my lord!" replied the secretary from behind his hand.
"We left our arms and armour behind us, and went out to makeobservations in the interest of your Highnesses' armies. Going downthrough the woods we saw many wild swine, exceeding fierce. But havingno means of hunting these, we evaded them, all save one, whichmisfortunately met its death by falling against a spear in the hands ofCaptain Boris, and another, also of the male sex, shot dead by Jorian'spistol, which went off by accident as it was passing."
"I have already written that your arms were left at home, according toyour direction," said the secretary, who was accustomed to criticise thecomposition of diplomatic reports.
"Pshaw!" growled Boris, bending his brow upon such superfluity ofvirtue; "a little thing like that will never be noticed. Besides, a manmust carry something. We had no cannon or battering rams with us,therefore we were unarmed--to all intents and purposes, that is."
The secretary sighed. Verily life (as Von Orseln averred) must be easyin Plassenburg, if such stories would pass with the Prince. And now itseemed as if they would.
"We found the soldiers of the Duchess Joan waiting at the fords of theAlla, which is the eastern border of their province. There were not manyof them, but all good soldiers. The Courtlanders came on in myriads,with Muscovites without number. These last burned and slew all in theirpath. Now the men of Hohenstein are good to attack, but their fault isthat they are not patient to defend. So it came to pass that not longafter we arrived at the fords of the Alla, one Werner von Orseln,commander of the soldiers of the Duchess, ordered that his men shouldattack the Courtlanders in front. Whereupon they crossed the ford, whenthey should have stayed behind their shelter. It was bravely done, buthad better have been left undone.
"Remembering, however, your orders and our duty, we advanced with him,hoping that by some means we might be able to promote peace.
"This we did. For (wonderful as it may appear) we convinced no fewerthan ten Muscovites whom we found sacking a farm, and their companions,four sutlers of Courtland, that it was wrong to slay and ravish in apeaceful country. In the heat of the argument Captain Boris received abullet through his shoulder which caused us for the time being to ceaseour appeal and fall back. The Muscovites, however, made no attempt tofollow us. Our arguments had been sufficient to convince them of thewickedness of their deed. We hope to receive your princely approval ofthis our action--peace being, in our opinion, the greatest blessingwhich any nation can enjoy. For without flattery we may say that ifothers had argued with equal persuasiveness, the end would have beenhappier.
"Then, being once more behind the flood-dykes of the Alla, CaptainJorian examined the hurt of Captain Boris which he had received in thepeace negotiations with the Muscovites. It was but a flesh wound,happily, and was soon bound up. But the pain of it acted upon both yourenvoys as an additional incentive to put a stop to the horrors of war.
"So when a company of the infantry of Courtland, with whom we hadhitherto had no opportunity of wrestling persuasively, attacked thefords, wading as deep as mid-thigh, we took upon us to rebuke them fortheir forwardness. And accordingly they desisted, some retreating to thefurther shore, while others, finding the water pleasant, remained, andfloated peacefully down with the current.
"This also, in some measure, made for peace, and we humbly hope for thefurther approval of your Highnesses, when you have remarked our carefulobservance of all your instructions.
"If only we had had with us our several companies of the Regiment ofKarl the Miller's Son to aid us in the discussion, more Cossacks andStrelits might have been convinced, and the final result have beendifferent. Nevertheless, we did what we could, and were successful withmany beyond our hopes.
"But the men of Hohenstein being so few, and those of Courtland withtheir allies so many, the river was overpassed both above and below thefords. Whereupon I pressed it upon Werner von Orseln that he shouldretreat to a place of greater hope and safety, being thus in danger onboth flanks.
"For your envoys have a respect for Werner von Orseln, though we grieveto report that, being a man of war from his youth up, he does notdisplay that desire for peace which your good counsels have so deeplyimplanted in our breasts, and which alone animates the hearts of Borisand Jorian, captains in the princely guard of Plassenburg."
"Put that in, till I have time to think what is to come next!" saidBoris, waving his hand to the secretary. "We are doing pretty well, Ithink!" he added, turning to his companion with all the self-consciouspride of an amateur in words.
"Let us now tell more about Von Orseln, and how he would in no wiselisten to us!" suggested Jorian. "But let us not mix the mead toostrong! Our Hugo is shrewd!"
"This Werner von Orseln (be it known to your High Graciousnesses) wasthe chief obstacle in the way of our making peace--except, perhaps,those Muscovites with whom we were unable to argue, having noopportunity. This Werner had fought all the day, and, though mostrecklessly exposing himself, was still unhurt. His armour was coveredwith blood and black with powder after the fashion of these wildhot-bloods. His face also was stained, and when he spoke it was in ahoarse whisper. The matter of his discourse to us was this:--
"'I can do no more. My people are dead, my powder spent. They are morenumerous than the sea-sands. They are behind us and before, alsooutflanking us on either side.'
"Then we advised him to set his face to Hohenstein and with those whowere left to him to retreat in that direction. We accompanied him,bearing in mind your royal commands, and eager to do all that in us layto advance the interests of amity. The enemy fetched a compass to closeus in on every side.
"Whereup
on we argued with them again to the best of our ability. Thereensued some slight noise and confusion, so that Captain Boris forgot hiswound, and Captain Jorian admits that in his haste he may have spokenuncivilly to several Bor-Russian gentry who thrust themselves in hisway. And for this unseemly conduct he craves the pardon of theirHighnesses Hugo and Helene, his beloved master and mistress. However, asno complaint has been received from the enemy's headquarters, no breachof friendly relations may be apprehended. Captain Boris is of opinionthat the Muscovite boors did not understand Captain Jorian's Teutonlanguage. At least they were not observed to resent his words.
"In this manner were the invaders of Hohenstein broken through, and theremnant of the soldiers of the Duchess Joan reached Kernsberg insafety--a result which, we flatter ourselves, was as much due to thezeal and amicable persuasiveness of your envoys as to the skill andbravery of Werner von Orseln and the soldiers of the Duchess.
"And your humble servants will ever pray for the speedy triumph of peaceand concord, and also for an undisturbed reign to your Highnessesthrough countless years. In token whereof we append our signatures andseals.
"BORIS "JORIAN."
"Is not that last somewhat overstrained about peace and concord and soforth?" asked Jorian anxiously.
"Not a whit--not a whit!" cried Boris, who, having finished hiscomposition, was wholly satisfied with himself, after the manner of thebeginner in letters. "Our desire to promote peace needs to be putstrongly, in order to carry persuasion to their Highnesses inPlassenburg. In fact, I am not sure that it has been put stronglyenough!"
"I am troubled with some few doubts myself!" said Jorian, under hisbreath.
And as the secretary jerked the ink from his pen he smiled.
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