by Tamie Dearen
“You’re angry with me.”
“No, I’m not.” Jaxon deliberately unclenched his jaw. “Okay, I admit I was angry at first. I never liked your friends, and I warned you about them. If you hadn’t been out with Wendy, and she hadn’t been driving when she was stoned out of her mind, that accident never would’ve happened.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I wish it had never happened?”
He was surprised to find his face wet. “Yes, I know. I know that now. And I’m so sorry I left without even talking to you. Without at least making things right. I know you didn’t mean to spoil all our plans. But I was selfish. All I could think about was how the accident messed up my life. It was like my life and my future ended that day. I didn’t have any compassion for you at all… for how your life and future ended, too.”
“I know. It’s okay.”
Silence fell. Only the whisper of the wind broke his reverie.
“I need to let you go, Jessie. I need to let go of the hurt so I can move on. I need your forgiveness.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. I loved you before. I love you now. I always will.”
“Are you happy, Jessie? I’ve just got to know… I think maybe, if I could picture you being happy, I could let you go.”
“I’m happy.”
Jaxon shivered as a sudden gust of wind whipped under his jacket. “You’ll always have my heart, you know.”
He knelt and laid the daisies on the ground in front of the tombstone.
“I love you, Sis.”
Part 27: Discarded Rose
“G’MORNING, MACK. How was your trip, yesterday?” Nate unlocked the gym doors and stepped inside, holding the door open for Jaxon.
“Long and tiring, but I took care of something I’ve been putting off for a quite some time.”
“That’s great. I like the new you, Mack. You’re really taking care of business. When are you signing the papers on the new place?”
“It’s all contingent on selling this building, you know.”
“I know, but you’ve already got an offer, right? Isn’t it pretty much just paperwork now?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” Jaxon stole a quick glance through the window.
“Oh no… I see you looking across the street at the flower shop again. You’re not having second thoughts are you? I thought you changed your mind about that building. Didn’t you say you wanted to get away from here?”
“I did, and I do. I really need to get away.” Jaxon resolved to stick to his plan. He needed to move the gym to a place where he wouldn’t be reminded of Elyssa every day. She wasn’t his responsibility, and she certainly didn’t want his advice.
“That’s good.” A relief-filled smile bloomed on Nate’s face. “Too bad you were gone yesterday. You missed seeing that flower shop girl.”
“Elyssa? Elyssa was here?” Jaxon’s resolve melted away as he felt his heart thumping in his chest.
“Yeah, she spent about two hours working out with Sadie.” Nate stepped on a treadmill and pushed the buttons, starting at a walking pace.
“Oh… did she… eh-hem… did she mention me?”
“As a matter of fact, she asked to talk to you. But we got it all worked out. She mentioned you’d offered a free trial week, so we honored it.”
“So she’s coming back again?” Jaxon tried to work up enough spit in his suddenly dry mouth to wet his parched throat.
“I guess so, unless Sadie scared her off. You know how over-enthusiastic she can be.” Nate turned the speed up to a slow jog. “The poor girl could barely move when she left here.”
Jaxon imagined the torture of watching Elyssa work out and felt his stomach churn as beads of sweat broke out on his face. “I don’t want to see her.”
“What?” Nate missed a step, catching himself on the arms of the treadmill and moving his feet to stand astride the rotating track. He punched the stop button and stepped off the machine, mumbling something unintelligible.
Jaxon turned to escape toward his office, but felt his arm grabbed from behind.
“What do you mean, you don’t want to see her? When did you see her? Have you two been secretly dating?”
“No, we're not dating... I promise you. And she has a very low opinion of me, anyway.” Jaxon shook free of his grasp. “It’s just as well, anyway. Something terrible would happen to her if she got involved with me. I’m bad luck for girls.” Hadn't Elyssa almost been killed? It was too bizarre to be a coincidence.
“How would you know whether you were bad luck for girls? In the six years since I’ve known you, you haven’t so much as gone on a date.”
“I just couldn’t bring myself to date. Not after Shelly…”
“But you and Shelly never even dated, did you? I thought you were just good buddies. Not that it wasn’t tragic and all, but I don’t see what it has to do with you dating. Or not dating, as the case may be.”
“We were more than buddies... we were like family. We grew up together—me and Shelly and my sister—and we all had dreams of making it in the city. Now both of them are gone, and I can’t risk another girl getting involved in my life.”
“Are you trying to say Jessie and Shelly died because of you? I don’t think—”
The front door crashed open and Sadie’s cheery voice interrupted. “Hey guys! I just finished a ten-mile run. I’m so pumped—I’m way ahead on my marathon training schedule.”
Jaxon took advantage of Nate’s distraction, slipping up the stairs as Sadie rambled on about her new fuel belt. Almost to the safety of his office, he heard Nate’s voice, and turned to find him lunging up, two steps at a time.
“Not so fast, Mack! Just hold up.” Nate reached the top and stepped to block the office door. “You haven’t told me the story about your flower girl. What’s her name? Rose?”
“Rose is her last name. She’s Elyssa Rose, but she’s not my flower girl. She’s just the girl who owns the flower shop across the street. That’s all.”
“Really?” Nate’s face had a surely-you-don’t-expect-me-to-believe-that expression.
“Really.”
“Then why did your face turn red when I talked about her coming to work out here? And why did you say you didn’t want to see her?”
“No reason. I guess I’m still mad about the whole building thing. That’s all.”
“So it’s about the building? It’s not about the girl? What’s her name? Elsa?”
“Elyssa. Her name’s Elyssa.”
Nate bit his lips, obviously trying not to laugh. Why do I let him bait me like that?
“Sorry… I’m bad with names.” Nate’s tone didn’t even hold a hint of sincerity. He moved away from the office door and leaned on the loft railing, overlooking the workout area below. “But like you said before, you’re not dating her, right?”
“Of course not.” Not unless you call one kiss, working like slave labor at an event, and her telling me to stay out of her life, dating.
“So you don’t like her or anything.”
“No way.” I hope he buys my story this time. It’ll be true once I get away from here so I don’t have to think about her all the time.
“Then you don’t mind if I ask her out, right?”
“Huh?”
Nate looked back with a lopsided smile, waggling his brows. “’Cause she’s pretty hot.” He pointed down to the workout area with a sweep of his chin.
Part 28: Winning the Race
“YES, AUNT LAUREN, I’m going back over there this morning, but I’m telling you it’s a waste of time. I won’t be able to impress Jaxon today even if he’s back in town. I’m so sore I can barely hold my cell phone up to my ear. I could hardly clean my teeth—I had to lay my toothbrush on the counter and move my head back and forth. I didn’t even have enough strength to lift the mascara tube.”
“I’m certain you look beautiful without mascara, Elyssa. You have a lovely face. You don’t need makeup at your age.”
“But I won’t be able to work out. It hurts too much.”
“You just have to push through the pain, Sweetie. It’ll feel better after you get started. Why, after I ran my marathon last year—”
“Wait! You ran a marathon last year? At your age?”
“My age? I’m only fifty-five—it’s not like I have one foot in the grave. But the truth is I ran two half-marathons last year. So I figure two halves make a whole.” Her laughter rang over the phone. “But I'm telling you the best thing for sore muscles is to work the tenderness out.”
“I don’t know, Aunt Lauren…”
“You can do it. Just keep your eyes on the prize—that Jaxon boy.”
“He’s not a boy, Aunt Lauren. He’s a man.”
“And you can tell that from just one kiss, huh?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Thank God she can’t see how red my face is right now. “I’m saying I think he may be thirty years old, or close to it.”
“Fine then—keep your eyes on that man.”
*****
Jaxon moved beside Nate to peer over the guardrail, scouring the workout floor below. “Where is she? I don’t see her.”
“That’s a good thing, right? You said you didn’t want to see her.”
“Shut up! Where is she?” Jaxon had the urge to wipe the smirk off Nate’s face.
“She’s not here. I was just testing a theory.”
“What theory?” Jaxon’s voice came out as a growl.
“My theory that you’re in love with Elyssa Rose… And it turns out I’m right. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Nate clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s about time, buddy. So what’s the holdup?”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not in love with her. I haven’t even known her that long. And anyway, she hates me.”
Nate's eyebrows rose to the top of his forehead. “Are you kidding me? Every girl who comes in this gym makes a play for you. I’ve never seen a woman who didn’t fall all over you.”
“I could say the same for you.”
“Ha! True, but there’s a big difference. You always turn them down—every single one. So I guess it’s only fair you’re finding out how it feels to be rejected.”
“There’s nothing to reject. I barely know the girl. We’ve never even been on a date.”
“Yeah, right. That’s why you almost threw me over the rail when I mentioned asking her out.” Nate chuckled. “Come on. You can at least admit you like her, even if you won’t use the other L word.”
The front door opened, and a pair of shapely legs entered, topped with a perfectly proportioned body and a pert face with huge green eyes and rosy lips, framed by a blond ponytail. Elyssa’s head swiveled from side to side as she searched the gym before looking to the loft where Jaxon stood in stunned silence. Her lips parted as her eyes locked with his. Jaxon’s heart flipped over inside his chest.
“Okay… I like her.”
*****
Elyssa almost forgot to breathe. It’d only been five days since she last saw him, but she’d forgotten how good-looking he was. He’d obviously skipped shaving this morning, and the stubble on his face only accentuated his strong masculine jaw. She was drawn into his piercing blue eyes, unable to tear her gaze away. She swallowed hard.
She’d hoped to salvage a tiny bit of pride. Her plan was to entice him into coming to flirt with her, as he had in the past, while she pretended cool indifference. Then, when he made a teasing offer to do something together, she would surprise him by accepting. But here she stood gawking at him the moment she stepped inside the gym. So much for cool indifference. He turned his back to her and disappeared into his office. So much for enticing him to flirt. Now what?
“Elyssa… I’m glad you came back today.” Sadie’s sweet, perky voice invaded her consciousness as it had invaded her dreams during the night. More like nightmares, really. Urging her, ‘Just ten more! Come on! You can do it!’ Over and over. All night long. Until she woke in a cold sweat.
“Hi Satan… I mean, Sadie. Yeah, I’m back. But I have to warn you, I’m really stiff and sore. I think I need to take it really slow today.”
“Awww, I’m sorry you’re sore. Why don’t we start out with a slow jog on the treadmill? That’ll get you loosened up. And then there’s a spin class starting in thirty minutes.”
“I’m willing to try the treadmill at a slow walk.”
Sadie giggled as she punched buttons on the machine’s flashing controls. “Okay. You can start at a walk. Just use this up arrow when you want to speed up.”
“That’s fine. But I promise I won’t want to speed up.” Elyssa ventured one last glance at the loft before mounting the treadmill, but Jaxon’s office door remained closed.
*****
The door creaked open behind Jaxon as he slid into his desk chair.
“What're you doing?” Nate followed to lean forward with his hands on the desk, wearing an accusing glare.
“I’m doing paperwork.”
“No you’re not. You want to know what I think you’re doing?”
“Not really.”
“I think you’re hiding. You’re a big fat chicken. You’re afraid to face a girl who probably only weighs a hundred and twenty pounds.”
“I said, ‘Not really.’”
“And you know what else I think.”
“No, and I don’t care to know. But somehow I think you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“I think Shelly would kick you in the butt, if she were here.”
“That’s low, Nate. You can’t bring up Shelly. You know how close we were.”
“You’re not the only one who loved Shelly, Jaxon. You act like her suicide was your personal loss and yours alone. You may have known her longer, but we all loved her. And we all felt guilty about it, too. But you know I’m right about her. How many times did she fuss at you for sidestepping long-term relationships? She always said, ‘Avoiding love is like driving a race car at twenty miles per hour. You won’t get hurt, but you have zero chance of winning.’”
“Fine. Okay, you’re right about me. But right now I have zero chance of winning anyway. Like I told you before, she hates me.”
“Look Jaxon, she’s here. She's on your turf. You’ve got the home field advantage. Get down there and do what you do best.”
“What’s that? Are you suggesting I go flirt with her?”
“No, that won’t work. But, I watched her working out with Sadie yesterday. She lasted longer than any other first-timer I’ve ever seen. She’s a competitor, Jaxon—she hates to lose.”
“So what should I do?”
A slow smile spread on Nate’s face.
*****
If Elyssa’s muscles had been blessed with voices, their oath-filled complaints would’ve been R-rated for obscenities. Her quads, her calves, her hamstrings… every muscle in her legs protested her ongoing march on the treadmill. She waited for the easing of sore muscles promised by her aunt, but no relief came. This isn’t working. And Jaxon’s ignoring me, anyway. I might as well go back home and soak in a tubful of hot water.
She reached toward the button to stop the treadmill when a noise on the adjacent treadmill startled her. Her hand froze, millimeters from the ‘stop’ button as she turned her head slightly to view the new arrival. Jaxon. A shirtless Jaxon. A delectable, shirtless Jaxon, who seemed oblivious to her presence. He kept his eyes glued to the screen as his fingers punched the control panel, and he settled into a fast-paced walk. She strained to read the numbers on his machine… four point zero.
Without hesitation, Elyssa punched the up-arrow, matching his pace while ignoring the objection of her muscles. But the speed that produced a long-strided walk for Jaxon forced Elyssa to jog, the jostling impact causing even more discomfort. Her ponytail bounced, as a few strands of hair escaped to plaster themselves to her perspiring neck. His hand snaked forward to increase the speed to four point eight miles per hour. That’s not too fast. She matched the speed on her treadmi
ll.
But before she had time to accustom herself to the new pace, Jaxon pressed the arrow again, the new numbers indicating six miles per hour. Elyssa knew she was approaching her limit. Maybe I can keep it up for a little while. She duplicated his speed, the pain in her legs forgotten as her heart and lungs shrieked with effort. When did I get so out-of-shape?
“It’s not a race, you know. You don’t have to strain yourself.” Jaxon trotted on the treadmill with ease, apparently exerting the effort required for a Sunday stroll.
“It’s not… a strain,” she said between heavy breaths. “I can run… faster than this… I used to… play soccer.”
“No offense. I just didn’t want you to push yourself beyond where you feel comfortable.” He gave her a smug grin as he moved his fingers toward the speed control yet again. Elyssa kept what she hoped was an impassive expression plastered on her face. The numbers went up and up, finally stopping at seven point five miles per hour.
All thoughts of flirting had fled her mind, along with every ounce of sanity. She only knew she couldn’t let him ‘win’. Her finger pushed the up arrow again and again and again. At eight miles per hour, her feet flew along the track. Her chest screamed as she gasped for breath. There was no oxygen in the air. Sweat drenched her brand new workout clothes and ran in rivulets down her legs. Every part of her body was in agony. But it was worth it—she was winning. Wasn’t she?
She risked a quick glance toward Jaxon’s treadmill. And then… her foot stumbled on the track.
It happened in slow motion. It happened in an instant. Her feet were behind her. Her arms flailed. Her face raced toward the rotating track. This is going to hurt...
Part 29: Falling in Love
JAXON WAS IN his element. Not even winded, he sprinted with ease on the gliding track, each step landing with the minimal impact of a perfect stride. He moved like a well-oiled machine. And he knew he had Elyssa’s attention. She struggled to match his pace, just as Nate had predicted. Her desperate and determined expression was adorable. Perhaps it was time to slow down and give her a break. He reached to press the down arrow, but paused as he noted she was now running at an eight-mile-per-hour pace. He turned to give her a benevolent smile and congratulate her before ending their impromptu race.
