“I’m … uh, just shocked—and disappointed that you already know my news. I thought I’d gotten a big scoop—even Jenny was surprised. Who else knows?”
Luke shrugged. “Probably just the town council. Your story will be news to most folks.”
Jack settled back in her chair. “Yeah, I suppose. But how will we get by without the additional income?”
“We’re not destitute, Half Bit. The house is paid for, plus when your ma and I got married, I had most of my army pay saved and invested. With the railroad coming to town, Garrett’s business will slack off. He and I are going to buy some brood mares and a quality stallion and start raising stock horses. We’re already looking for a section of land that’s not too far from town, where Carly and he can live after they marry.” He took a deep breath, then continued. “Your ma has enough to do with just caring for the family and this big home. You sound disappointed.”
“No. Just mulling things over.” Suddenly a pleasing thought dashed through her mind. “If we aren’t taking in boarders, can I have my own room?” She grinned and waggled her eyebrows.
Hope sparked in her ma’s eyes, taking Jack by surprise again. “Does that mean you’re not going to Dallas?”
They knew? About the letter? Were all her secrets public knowledge? She jumped up, flinging her arms out sideways. “Did Jenny spill the beans? Nobody else knew.”
“No.” Her ma bit the edge of her lower lip. “I went upstairs to check on Abby yesterday, and she’d gotten in your lap desk. She had the letter and was just getting ready to write on the paper.” She ducked her head. “I shouldn’t have read your letter, but I was too curious not to. I’m sorry for that, but”—she glanced up with wounded eyes—”how could you even consider such a thing without talking to us? Do you have any idea what it’s like in a city that large?”
Luke patted her ma’s shoulder. “Now, Rach, I’ve been to Dallas several times, and it’s not a bad town.”
The look her ma gave Luke could have boiled frozen water. “Whose side are you on?”
“Nobody’s—I mean both of you. Jack’s not an ordinary young lady.”
“But she is a woman—and no woman should go off alone to a big city. Who would protect her?” Her ma blinked her eyes several times, then looked at Jack again with a watery gaze. “What about Noah? I thought something was developing between you two.”
Jack fidgeted in her chair. She might have been oblivious to hurting her ma when she was young and half wild, but she didn’t like it now. “I was going to tell you. In fact, that was one of the things I wanted to talk about tonight. I’ve decided to turn down the job offer and stay here.”
“Really?” Ma smiled and wiped her eyes with the hanky she’d pulled from her pocket. “I know that must have been a hard decision since you’ve wanted to be a reporter for so long.”
Jack shrugged. In truth, she hadn’t made her final decision until she’d seen how upset the thought of her leaving made her ma. What job compared to love of family?
“So, does Noah have anything to do with your staying?” Ma asked.
Jack stared out the window into the twilight. “Maybe.”
No, more than maybe—most definitely. But for some reason, she was uncomfortable saying so in front of Luke. He’d grown quiet, which meant he was stewing on something.
“You’d make a good pastor’s wife.”
“Ma!”
“Rachel!”
Both Jack and Luke spoke at once.
Luke stood and started pacing the room. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to be talking like that?”
Rachel grinned. “It’s springtime, and love is in the air. Look at the Kesslers—and Garrett and Carly.”
Luke snorted. “And what about the Lord? Does He still have a say in our lives?”
Rachel fluffed the pillow Luke had been leaning on. “Of course. I’ve prayed about the man Jacqueline would marry for much of her life. I knew God would bring the right man in His timing.”
Jack just stared at her mother. How could she be so confident? Was she actually voicing her approval for a union between her and Noah?
“All that matters is that you’ve prayed about your relationship with Noah and that you love him.”
Luke grunted and ran his hand through his hair. What was wrong with him? She thought he liked Noah.
“I have prayed.” Jack’s gaze darted to her ma and back to Luke. His behavior was making her uneasy. “I—care for him.”
Luke kicked a table leg, whether accidentally or on purpose, she wasn’t sure. Her ma gave him a curious glance. “And I believe he cares deeply for you.”
“It’s too soon,” Luke said. “You’ve only known him a few weeks. How can you care for him that much?”
Jack shrugged again. “I can’t explain it. From the first moment I looked into his eyes, I felt something—as if we’d been bound together for a lifetime.”
Rachel hugged the pillow. “I know just what you mean. I felt that about Luke when I first met him, too.”
“You were in first grade, Rachel. How can you remember that?”
“A woman just does.” She batted her lashes and gave him a coy smile.
Luke finally stopped in front of Jack, and she had to lean back to see his puckered brow. “Has Noah talked to you?”
Jack opened her mouth to respond, but paused, baffled by his question. “Uh … we talk everyday.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Luke’s hand lowered to where his gun normally rested, then he closed his fist. Something was definitely bothering him, but she had no idea what it could be.
Luke squatted and looked her in the eye. “You promise me—before you let your feelings for him grow any more—that you’ll have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Tell him he’d better tell you everything—or he’ll answer to me.”
Jack glanced at her ma, seeing the same confusion she felt. Luke bounced up and strode out of the room and down the hall. What was the “everything” he was referring to?
The front door opened, and Noah strode in, his eyes shining. He shut the door, removed his hat, and noticed them. He walked into the room with a wide grin pulling at his cheeks. “Evening, I just got some rather exciting news—at least it seems that way to me.”
Her ma lifted one brow. “Oh, and what is that?”
Noah sat down on the edge of the chair next to Jack’s. She studied each detail of his handsome face. His eye was all healed except for a faint bruise, and a slight red mark remained just above his lip from the cut. His nose was perfectly straight, and dark stubble made him even more appealing. His beautiful eyes beamed. How could this kind-hearted man be hiding a secret so bad that it would send Luke into a tizzy?
Noah leaned toward her. “The Taylors have decided not to return to Lookout. The town council offered me a permanent position and use of the parsonage.”
He was staying! Jack’s heart leapt for joy. She jumped up and almost hugged him, then remembered her ma was still in the room. “That’s wonderful news.”
Rachel also stood and clapped her hands. “Yes, that is. I’ll miss the Taylors, but I know they’ve wanted to move back home for a long while. Do you mind if I tell Luke?”
Noah shook his head, and she left the room, leaving them alone. He reached out and took Jackie’s hand. “Are you happy?”
She looked happy but not delirious, as he’d hoped. When he first heard the news, he’d wanted to flee the Manns’ home and run back here to tell Jackie, but he couldn’t. He had to sit quietly and listen to what they expected: no more preaching about pelicans and the discussion about his salary, which was a decent amount plus the offer to use the parsonage. All the time, every part of his being was bouncing.
“I am happy.” She squeezed his hand and smiled.
“But?”
She broke his gaze and shrugged.
“Don’t you know what this means, Jackie? I have the support of the town council, a home, and a salary that I can support a family on—if we’re careful.”
/>
“We?” She stared up at him, her blue eyes looking enormous.
Did she not yet know his heart? Or maybe she didn’t feel the same. He knew little of women and their ways. Had he misread her?
He closed his eyes. He wanted to obey God and do His work, but if she didn’t share his feelings, how could he stay here?
He’d thought God was answering his dream and giving him this opportunity. More than he ever hoped for. Much more than he deserved.
But without her …
“I’m thrilled, Noah, but there’s something I have to know. What is in your past that you don’t want to tell me about?”
The moment he’d dreaded the most was here. He hadn’t told the council about his secret yet. He wanted to talk to Luke first about how to approach it. They’d given him a week to decide, but he could tell they weren’t happy that he hadn’t made an instant decision.
“Noah. If you truly care about me and want a future together, there can be no secrets between us.”
He sighed and nodded. “You’re right. I’m just … scared, I guess.”
She took hold of his other hand and gave him a sweet smile, but her eyes held a teasing glint. “You’re scared of me?”
You have no idea. “Not exactly.” He looked down and studied the floorboards. How do I tell her, Lord? I don’t want to lose her.
There was no easy way. He captured her gaze, gaining strength from the love he saw there. Ten years had passed. Maybe she didn’t even remember Butch.
“You’re a good man, Noah. It can’t be all that bad. What did you do?”
He shook his head. “It’s not what I did but rather who I am.”
The confusion in her gaze threatened to steal his boldness. He had to tell her before he lost his nerve. “I lived in Lookout a long time ago, and we went to school together.”
Her eyes went wide, and he could almost see her sharp mind racing, trying to figure out the puzzle.
“I—I’m … Butch.”
She crinkled her brow. Her eyes widened. She dropped his hands and stepped back, forming a chasm between them as wide as the state of Texas. He already felt her loss.
“Not Butch Laird?”
He nodded and ducked his head, hurt with how she’d spewed his name.
“How could you?” With a hand on her chest, she looked as if she couldn’t catch her breath. Leaning forward, she narrowed her eyes. “How could you kiss me and not tell me such a thing? Was this just a cruel game you were playing?”
“No, Jackie—” He ran his hand through his hair, seeing his dream dying. “I care for you—I always have.”
“That’s a lie.” She backed up clear to the piano. “You were mean. You picked fights and—and—you locked me in jail and left me there.”
“I’m sorry about the past, but I’ve changed. Haven’t you seen that?”
She shook her head. Tears ran down her cheeks. “Is Noah even your real name? Jeffers sure isn’t.”
“Yes, Noah is what my ma named me, but my pa never liked it and called me Butch. I adopted my friend Pete’s last name when he came to mean more to me than my own pa.”
Jack’s chin quivered. “You lied to me. More than once, and that’s all that matters. I thought you were above such things, but I was wrong. My first pa—he always lied. I told myself I’d never have anything to do with a cruel man or a liar.”
She hurried past him, making as wide an arc as possible. He was losing her.
“Jackie—wait.”
She skidded to a stop in the hall and looked to her left. His hope took wing. Would she hear him out?
Luke stepped into view.
“You knew!” Jackie’s word spewed forth like snake venom.
Luke nodded, sorrow etched in his face.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“It wasn’t my place, Half Bit.”
Jack swung toward the stairs. She stopped on the fourth one and glared down. “I’ll never trust either of you again.”
Noah watched her charge upstairs, his dreams dashed. He should have told her sooner.
Much sooner.
Chapter 32
Jack lay in her bed, her aching eyes matching her heart. Her whole body hurt. Her tears were spent. How could he be Butch?
How could he not tell her?
The thing she feared most had come true. She’d lost her heart to a man just like her pa.
She stared up at the half moon. How could she have been so stupid?
How could Luke have betrayed her like that? Wasn’t it his job to protect her?
She sucked in a breath and a dose of reality. Luke had tried since she first met him to protect her, but only the Almighty could truly do that.
But hadn’t He let her down, too?
Jack sighed and listened to her sisters’ breathing as they slept. How could she feel so alone with two others in the room?
Just when Noah had everything he needed to provide for her, she learned the shocking truth—he was Butch Laird, her childhood nemesis. And yet, even knowing that, she still loved him. She bolted up in her bed, her heart pounding. She honestly, truly loved Butch Laird.
The thought should have repulsed her, but it didn’t. Hadn’t she always been curious about him? Even tried to be friends once?
Noah or Butch—what did it matter when he lied to her? She could never trust him now. Her tears must have restocked because they started again.
Father God, make this hurt go away.
She wiped her tears on her pillowcase and her nose on her sixth and last hanky. Lying in the dark, she continued to pray. Show me what to do, Lord.
How can I stay in Lookout now? I can’t bear to see him again.
Should I take the Dallas job?
Jack jerked. She blinked in the darkness and noticed the moon heading toward the horizon. Had she finally fallen asleep?
Her eyes ached, and she lifted her hand to touch their puffiness. Her head hurt as bad as when she’d gotten that concussion, but it was her heart that was shattered.
A metallic ching sounded near Emmie’s bed. Jack sat up and rubbed her eyes. Something banged and rolled across the floor. Had Emmie awakened?
As her eyes grew used to the darkness, the form of a man’s body took shape. “Papa?”
A masculine curse filled the room, and Jack gasped. The man hurled himself toward her. Before she could untangle herself from the sheet, a hand clamped hard over her mouth. Whiskey-laden breath filled her nostrils. “Where’s that bracelet?”
Jack’s eyes widened in the dark. She turned and could see the man’s face in the moonlight. She pulled his hand down. “Billy?”
“I need that bracelet.”
“I gave it to your ma.”
He sucked in a deep breath. “You stupid … you’ve ruined everything.”
He turned away and pulled open a drawer of her dresser—her unmentionables drawer, yanking out one garment after another. She tossed the sheet aside and stood, her nightgown sliding down to cover her legs. “Stop it. I don’t have the bracelet anymore.”
He grabbed her jaw. “I bought that for you. Why’d you give it to Ma?”
“You’re hurting me. Stop it.” She grabbed his hand, but he didn’t let go.
“Shut up, or I’ll hurt you like that fat, ol’ lady.”
Jack gasped. “You killed Bertha?”
“All I wanted was some money.” Suddenly Billy’s other hand careened toward her in the moonlight. It crashed into her jaw, knocking her back on the bed. Pain mixed with darkness. She fought to keep a hold on her awareness.
From a distance, someone screamed. Abby. She had to help her sister—as soon as she plowed through this quicksand of darkness.
Noah sat on the edge of the bed, unable to sleep. His heart had broken and fallen in pieces all over the floor. His prayers seemed to fall on deaf ears. He’d had everything he wanted in the palm of his hand for a few minutes—but he’d lost it all.
He’d lost her.
And w
ithout her, nothing else mattered.
He jumped up and strode to the window. A cool breeze lifted the curtains, reminding him of things greater than himself. The wind had always put him in mind of God. Something you couldn’t see but you knew existed.
“Did I hear You wrong, Lord? Wasn’t it Your will for me to come here, to make restitution for my past offenses? To have a chance to start over with Jackie?”
He should have told her the truth from the start. She would have reacted the same, but it wouldn’t have hurt so much.
Or maybe it would have.
“What am I going to do, Lord?”
He had to tell the church board who he was. He probably wouldn’t have a job after that, but with things like they were now, maybe that was for the best. First thing in the morning, he’d go see them.
He stared at the moon and longed to talk to Pete. The old man always put things in their proper perspective. Noah knew what he’d say, though.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Talk to your Creator.
Trust the Lord.
But hadn’t he done all that and still lost Jackie?
He wanted to throw something. Wanted to get on his horse and ride until he reached the ocean. Wanted things to be like they were when he’d kissed Jackie in the alley.
But they never would be.
A frantic scream broke into his misery. He bolted to the door, stumbling on the chair he’d left out earlier. A sharp pain ratcheted across his knee, but he ignored it when another scream came. He scrambled down the stairs and slid to a stop outside Jack’s bedroom door.
He’d overreacted. Abby was just having a bad dream. He could not go in there.
Something thumped hard on the other side of the door, and Abby screamed again. Emmie started crying, and he heard a muffled squeal. “Jackie?”
He reached for the knob. The squeals got louder as if someone called for help. He turned the knob and shoved open the door. Abby’s screams reverberated around the room.
His eyes focused on a large shape bending over Jackie’s bed—a man’s shape. His hand fumbled to light the lamp by the doorway. His eyes rebelled at the sudden brightness, but he rushed forward. Billy Morgan stood over Jack. Her cheek was red, and she glanced at him with a dazed stare. What had Billy done?
Finally a Bride (Texas Boardinghouse Brides 3) Page 31
