My Life - Wishy Washy

by Alexander Paw

  ***

  Chapter 11

  It was well past midnight and the cemetery was closed for business. I brought along with me his favorite comic book, cookies and a carton of cold chocolate milk. It is going to be a long night a night that I would remember forever. A night I was not looking forward too.

  As I embark up the roadway, I began to see icons, figures of dead people and I heard voices telling me in the saddest voices that I have ever heard. “He isn’t here, they came for him, we tried to stop them – this is our home and now the boys home … what could we, do we’re dead and the Demon Gods are so strong they scare us. We have family members who are still alive upon this earth – everyone can watch.”

  In my son’s absence, the voices have returned to whispers of confusion as regards the living dead.

  What they left behind were cards of humans – games of humankind. A jigsaw puzzle waiting for me to put the pieces together only for my eyes to understand to come, get my boy, and take him home. Home is where the true love is, home is with Kellianne and Buddy in a little brick and mortar house with a white picket fence, one-puppy dog two cats and a lots of cookies and milk to go around.

  I have given up on ever having an ordinary life, a good life as my mother put it.

  I felt a sudden chill realizing that I was about to see my son’s dead body. My abdomen had never been strong. It was a weakness I had discovered while killing humans and making love to them afterward. I was just about to the top of the hill. There was another chilling voice it spoke, “Abyss.” My eyes looked at the final card in the open space. The card read

  ENTER THE CLOSET THE UNSEEN PLACE

  Chapter 12

  I turned the key. As the door of my mother’s three hundred years old house held together by spit, glue and wooden nails swung open, a blast from the past hit my face. I fell back in bafflement. I was gazing across the entrance hall of an alien world. The inside of this godforsaken house immersed in song . . . demonic words. They swirled around the crystal chandeliers and yelled in my ears three words. The unseen place!

  Fighting a wave of nausea I felt the vomiting rising in my throat, I let my eyes fall to the floor. I lost the battle. I wondered if the extreme chill now entering through my veins was from the air-conditioning or from Satan himself and then I remembered my mother’s house did not need air-conditioning. It was always cold.

  Chapter 13

  The body on the table was not my son but that of my wife, she lay on her back, legs spread open, stripped naked, her skin reddish-white where the demons have been. Around her neck she wore her favorite locket – inside was a picture of Buddy and myself.

  My heart pounded as I circled her body, looking at the pictures, reaffirming my love for her. I was sure that she loved me right up to the end.

  “Charrrlie, Charlie Browne?”

  I did not hear my name being called. I was in another world … my world, my building block, a world where daily living is not always a surprise, but you do look forward to starting a new day.

  “Charrrlie,” The voice said louder.

  I did not want to hear the voice. Did not want to see the image it belonged too. The voice now intensified my thoughts within myself not spoken. “How long will you abandon me?”

  I finally spoke to the voice, “for as long as it takes.” “So you want to play games? I love playing games.” “And you always win, I’m sure.” “Yes.”

  My eyes were riveted on his face. Satan said nothing more. He smiled minimally, I think he was waiting for me to say something first sure why not. Nothing came.

  I looked away, glancing at my wife frozen with an images in her eyes. I read somewhere that the last image the brain records is always in the mind’s eye.

  I cried inside. I would not let my master see how much my wife and son had meant to me – if I allowed that to happen I knew oh yes, I knew I could never ever get away.

  The mind’s eye was by no means a simple one. I will freeze to death trying so see what my wife wanted me to see. Maybe death is the answer although not as common to man – the idea that a doorway into our souls after death seemed utterly impossible but not to me. Most Doctors of science decided the mind’s eye was just a fairytale with no more mystery than mom’s homemade banana pudding - but mama mia what a pudding.

  Chapter 14

  The Devil and his Demon Gods have deserted me. I strode quickly now, her blue-green eyes filling with love once again I guess they always have. I leaned over my wife calling out her name echoed in her eyes.

  I laughed at Satan and his evil ways. Time stopped in the abyss, time is a thing in the past, and time was the last thing on my mind. Time is for dying. I am on a vision quest, and you always had time while on a quest. It had begun, and I had the key to unlock her eyes.

  All the same, I had to move quickly before they came back and taking control once again of my body, but now I preferred a different kind of pleasure. I looked at my wife’s cold nude body – an over-sexed, well lubed, loving doll, with cork-screw nipples beginning to be sucked on even if they couldn’t speak for themselves I know the feeling.

  Feeling a familiar anticipation swelling between my legs, I moved faster to my objective. I arrived back at my mother’s old house in my room outside my closet and laid my wife down on the divan.

  I put the key back in my right front pants pocket. Covered my wife up to her breasts with the only paper towel in the room I knew she wouldn’t mind.

  Chapter 15

  I saw what I was looking for pass the cornea through the anterior chamber beyond the pupil resting in the lens, where the image rested.

  Her reflection in the mirror and the picture of our son hanging behind her on the wall – resting in his coffin with his eyes open unaware of the demons around her about to take her life away, her fingers lightly touching the necklace around her ivory skin. They were all clues, clues only I could understand. Dead silence.

  I held the key out in front of the mirror and it pointed the way. I checked the clock on the wall: 12.06 a.m. It is crazy to be here so late, I Still I knew that Satan and his demons were preparing for the bewitching hour, something told me I was still in the game. Tonight, however, the demons took no note of my goings-on.

  I was now staring at my fine-looking wife bathed in an eerie Demonic fluid. A faint smell permeated the room. The overhead light flickered shadows on the walls of the area. Suddenly, a long shadow materialized over my wife. Shaken, I fell backward with all my weight.

  Dizziness started to set in, and my mind wandered in the “Demon’s hole,” If it was breathing the smells from my wife or watching the demons fuck the hell out of my wife in front of my eyes, there was nothing I could do about it however, that had turned my blood cold. It was the fact that the picture on the wall was not there anymore.

  I gasped being so taken with the shadows I had not even seen noticed it had been removed. Sheepishly I moved toward the wall. The disgusting odor of the demons coming straight for me was overwhelming.

  Before I could turn away, I felt coldness on the back of my neck. I spun around to see Casper the friendly ghost a human name that I gave one of the demons long, long ago when I lived in the “big house” it’s been years since the last time that he wanted to enter and possess my body.

  The last time he almost killed me. “What the hell are you doing here?” “I missed you,” Casper replied. “You want me to penetrate your soul?” I glanced at him and could not make out what was in his hand. “It’ll be a cold day in hell if that ever happens again.” “I can make that happen too – no problem.” I rubbed my neck.

  He handed me what was in his hand, as he came closer the smell from the wall brought back the same old recollections. I knew I was going to be abused and abandoned in all the wrong places.

  I took the picture and moved slowly toward him. Vigilantly, he advanced and took control of my body and thoughts. As he directed my mind, my eyes traced the inside of my son’s coffin. The casket was lit and about six fee
t from corner to corner. My eyes looking everywhere, and they finally found what Casper wanted me to see. I lay next to my son and the lid began to close. Six feet down, the noise of dirt being heaved upon our treasure chest. It became quite, dark, and cold. Earthy! Like father like son.

  I wanted to cry. “Daddy’s here,” I said, forcing myself not to take my eyes off of him. My son was a whitish outline against my earthly skin.

  I did cry the lifeless corpse that lay beside me. Yet, I stared. There was something very strange about the way my boy was placed. He called out, “Daddy?” I looked at his face more closely. There was no movement; it had to be the demons playing games with me again.

  As the echo of his voice faded away, I felt paralyzed, pinned somewhere between vomiting and dread. I had failed my boy once again, and I lay there withered in this coffin from hell, feeling a darkness that went on without end.

  Chapter 16

  The bewitching hour was soon approaching and the Devil and his demons would pull me further into the black hole of hell. I expected that much.

  He was a good boy.

  I took a deep breath looked around, asking as soothingly as I could, “Buddy?” “I am here Daddy.” This time it was not the demons speaking. “How did you get here? Daddy.” “I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m here.” “Me too Daddy, me too.” “The demons scare me Daddy.” “Don’t worry my son, they won’t harm you anymore, I promise, and a promise I will have to keep.”

  ***

  “That’s what Mama told me too. Promises are good Daddy.”

  A moment later, I emerged from the demons hole. I realized today was going to be a day of endless demonic surprises. Stepping out through the back screen door in her short-shorts and pink sleeveless see through top, Kellianne Browne looked nothing like a dead person that I saw and fucked a few minutes ago, maybe a few days ago – hell when you are in the abyss of Satan the Devil time stands still.

  She was tall with tanned skin and long blonde hair that swirled behind her as her hips moved left and right. Her face was unmistakable like an angel’s – not overly beautiful, but possessing full, heroic features that even at thirty-six seemed to radiate a raw sensuality as the surroundings around her, I admired her slender torso and extremely large breasts.

  I watched her approach. She had obviously been crying, another clue I was sure, her dazzling eyes filled with love and hate for which I could not understand. Still she kept moving toward me with fire and authority. She was still the Kellianne I knew – still smelled like Kellianne, and I knew she was still in command. She gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Did you unlock the image?” I patted her ass the same way I always did when I meant “yes.”

  Nice ass.

  We were alone again – but for how much longer we we’re not sure. “Where is our son?” she demanded to know. “Ours,” I smiled back. “Yes, ours,” She smiled back.

  “In a religious building that the Devil and his demons won’t enter and have no knowledge of what’s happening inside.” “Do you mean a house of Yahweh?” “Yes, that is what I mean.” “I want to see him,” Kellianne said.

  “Kellianne,” Our son was brutally murdered. He doesn’t look the same as before.” Kellianne began to speak but thought otherwise. I stared at her, saying nothing more. She sensed in me a resolve of love and pity for not being there for the both of them when they needed me most.

  Once, when my son was alive, I had heard my son’s voice through the screen door talking to his mother begging her to “stop and smell the roses.” That day, I went to the flower shop bought my wife and son the biggest bouquet of roses the shop had. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen but now thinking about my wife and son maybe it is the third most beautiful thing.

  The touch of a soft warm hand upon my neck pulled me back to the present. My wife and son were in front of me, pointing this way. “Is something wrong?” I asked, sounding more befuddled than normal. “Not at all, if we leave now,” Kellianne said, forcing Buddy toward the bright light. “You can’t go with us only angels can enter the whiteness.” “Angels I spluttered?”

  “Yes, that is what we are now superhuman, and angels to mankind.” “Wow.” I looked into their eyes as the whiteness began to fade, as my son and wife began to rise.

  I pictured the darkness where they left below them. I tried to block the demonic voices out by hitting my head on both sides with the palm of my hands right above the ears. It was working, until I heard the sweetest heavenly voice I have ever heard “saying we’ll won’t forget you.” My legs felt rubbery as I climbed up the staircase. I shrugged.

  Chapter 17

  The woman’s Hands were tied her wrists now purple and swollen from rubbing. I lay beside her, washed-out, admiring my naked reward. I wondered if her current catnap was just trickery, a wretched play to evade further service to the demons. Something I have done in the past.

  did not care. I had raped women like this one before. I stared at her I sat up in her bed. In my world, women were belongings. Tools of gratification sex slaves treated like any other piece of meat. Most understood their place. Sometimes, in this evil world of Beelzebub another name Satan goes by, women artificially developed a strength and independence that amused and excited me. Forcing them into animal submission was a satisfaction I had always enjoyed. Not unlike the way the demons used and controlled me,

  I cannot say no. I killed nine people last night, killed one woman and mutilated the others, the demons commanding me all over again and I obeyed for me killing keeps me sane like cocaine, each of my deaths satisfy me only for a short time before the monster in me starts longing for more blood. I am dehydrated. The craving had returned.

  I studied the sleeping beauty beside me. Running my fingers across her naked flower, I lick my fingers, I felt aroused just by the thought that I could kill her and not have any feeling for her. She is just a woman living in a man’s world, my world given to me by my creator and architect. My physically powerful fingers walked up to her neck, loving the velvetiness. Then, fighting within, I removed my hand. I will not do it. I will never kill again.

  I got out of bed, her bed, I cried in horror of what Satan wanted me to do. I could not grasp the purpose any longer and the authority he has over me. The only way out for me is to die.

  The demons had brought back to my forgotten memory the ultimate horror. I was the one driving the automobile that murdered my son. I alone was the one who gave Kellianne to the demons to have as a wife to do with her in any matter they desired. I realized now that I had no control over my actions and thoughts. I also knew that I could no longer be their hands and son of perdition. Their murderer and their courier of death is all the demons live for.

  Where is this strength coming from? I do not know but I still have the key that opens and more notably locks every door known to demon kind. Did I whisper abyss? Don’t worry you didn’t asked for another name of Satan my father, I give you this one freely. I won’t kill you.

  Chapter 18

  I left Satan the Devil that day and slapped Casper the friendly ghost right in his demonic face. It felt good. He held me down for a very long time, but now he cannot harm me. I mean he cannot kill me no demon can. Satan fucked up and gave me protection from his Demon Gods.

  Many over the years have tried – tried but failed, even Satan realized that he can no longer controls me or put thoughts in to my weak subhuman mind.

  He noticed the key I wear around my neck twenty-four-seven and has just disappeared from my sight they all have for that matter. However, what they left behind is the memory of what I had become – where I had been – whom I had killed my Son and wife. Something I don’t want to forget, I keep them in my heart and always find myself talking to them even though they never answer back I know they are watching me, waiting for maybe, perhaps for my death.

  I am over three hundred and seventy-five years young. I quit ageing after I entered the abyss. Longevity has its rewards and its curses too. I have had
many lovers over the decades and watch them grow old and eventually die that is my curse. Another one of my curses is that I am no longer able to read cards and clean up when I visit Las Vegas.

  They took that gift away too. Nevertheless, there is one gift they cannot take back – I am not sure why but I think it has something to do with the key that my wife gave me – the key given to her by God. Would you like to know what the gift is? If you haven’t thought of it already I‘m sure you have the gift of flying at night. When I fly, I am never cold or ever hot. Birds look at me and make a funny noise from their bird beaks.

  I think the chafing from the air keeps my body temperature normal.

  I am always trying to find my wife and son I know they are in heaven, but which one I am not sure if there are ten of them. I do know that God Almighty lives in the tenth heaven and that said; I do not even know where the tenth heaven is. So, I just fly, fly, fly and wonder if my son and wife have this gift also. A few times, I thought that someone was flying right beside me. I swear sometimes I had a gentle stroke the same way my wife always touched my neck during our nightly routine.