by Becky McGraw
“That was beautiful, sugar…” he said in a choked voice, then went over and took Angel from her and gently laid her in the middle of the bed, then pulled Jess into his arms, and covered her mouth with his.
Her lips were the sweetest thing he’d tasted in a year, and he feasted on them, and pulled her closer against him. She whimpered then slid her hands around his neck, and kissed him back with equal enthusiasm. Desire slammed into the wall he’d been trying to build around his heart and crushed it. With a groan, he deepened the kiss and she opened for him, then he was lost, swamped with a craving for her, he had no hope of controlling.
Someone cleared their throat behind them, and Wade pulled back reluctantly, breathing heavily, then turned toward the door. Jazzie stood there in a huge t-shirt that fell below her knees, with a sleepy smile on her beautiful face, then said, “The smells coming from the kitchen, weren’t going to let me stay in bed anymore. It’s all your fault I’m standing here…sorry, if I interrupted.” Her smile widened then she turned toward the kitchen and left them standing there.
Jess’s face turn red, and she flitted around him nervously, putting pillows on either side of Angel on the bed, then she walked right past him out the door, without another word. Wade figured that was his cue to go take that shower, because he needed it more than ever now, so he followed her out and then went to the bathroom.
With Jazzie’s eyes burning a hole in her back, Jess went into the kitchen and fiddled around arranging the toast she’d made on a plate. She hoped her friend didn’t ask questions about finding her kissing Wade, because she sure didn’t have answers. It was just he’d been so damned nice to her, and sweet to Angel, since they’d been here…and he was so damned good looking he set her panties on fire every time she looked at him.
Resisting him, hating him, when he was being an abrasive, overbearing ass, was easy, but when he was nice and charming, she had no hope against the magnetism that tugged her to him. Memories of the night they’d shared a year ago, and how damned good it had been between them, taunted her every time she closed her eyes now. And there was not a damned thing she could do to make it go away, short of repeating the experience, which was something her body was definitely on board with, but her mind resisted.
Putting the toast on the table, Jess told Jazzie, “I’m going get Angel cleaned up and dressed, go ahead and eat.” When it looked like Jazzie was winding up to fire questions at her, she hurried toward the bedroom.
Before she made it to the hall, Wade came out of the bathroom, shirtless and still damp from the shower, his jeans riding low on his hips, and all the moisture in her body flooded south. Lord have mercy, that man was hot enough to scorch her eyeballs, she thought, then in a squeaky voice, she told him the same thing she’d just told Jazzie, and fled to the bedroom locking the door behind her.
Most likely, being in this confined space with him was the problem here, she tried to convince herself. Maybe once they found a house and she and Jazzie moved there, and she could put some distance between them, she could get her head back on straight.
Getting closer to Wade physically or emotionally right now, would lull her into trusting him, and Jess couldn’t afford to trust him. If she made him mad again, he could try and alienate her totally from her daughter. He’d gotten the custody order, without a second thought, and he now had the power to do more. Until she could hire a lawyer to get the whole custody thing settled, Jess wasn’t letting down her guard.
Jess put some of the blame for his actions on herself too for taking off, but Angel was her daughter, and she had called the shots, so she had every right to leave. If she took off now though, he could have her arrested, and take Angel permanently, so she wasn’t going anywhere. She would do things his way for now, until she could hire a lawyer.
The little angel shorts set was on top of the stuff in the diaper bag, and she pulled it out and tore off the tags, then wiped Angel down with a wet wipe and changed her diaper. After she put it on, she stood back and admired how truly beautiful her daughter was with her daddy’s black hair and her green eyes. Jess kissed each cheek then put a little red barrette in her hair that matched the outfit, and little yellow shoes.
Wade was going to love it, she thought, their baby girl did look just like an angel. Jess already knew he loved Angel, it was evident in every thing he did for her, from feeding and changing her, to playing with her to make her smile. There was fierce and blatant love in his eyes when he looked at his daughter.
Although that pleased Jess, her heart squeezed and oddly a little twinge of jealousy shot through her, when she saw them together. Sharing her baby’s love was something she’d have to get used to, but the jealousy she felt wasn’t all because of that…she wanted someone to love her like that, unconditionally.
Jess knew she was stubborn and hardheaded, and had enough issues to fill a magazine subscription, so it would take a special man to love her warts and all. She wasn’t going to settle for less than that though, so it would probably be a long time before she found that man, if ever. How could she not have issues though?
Growing up, although she knew her parents loved her in their own way, they hadn’t exactly been great role models. Her father had been more concerned with his lifestyle and making money off of her singing, than he had making sure she, Travis and their mother was happy. He’d given up his job when they moved to California, and the family depended on him getting gigs for her to sing, so they could contribute to the commune. Jess had gotten experience, and honed her singing and songwriting skills, and although she appreciated the opportunity, it hadn’t been her choice, it had been forced on her.
Then after she left when she was eighteen, Ray, her on and off older boyfriend, the one her father had tried to make her marry to satisfy the communal leaders, had gone with her to Dallas calling himself her manager, and she’d let him. He’d controlled her money, her gigs and her personal life to the degree that he’d taken all the songs she’d written since she was fourteen and copyrighted them in her name, then sold them to the highest bidders, as her manager, without her knowledge.
The only reason she found out, was because she happened to hear one of her songs on the radio one day, being sung by someone else, a big name country singer, and she’d told Jazzie, then they did some digging and figured out what he’d done.
Although he’d deposited the money into her account, he had quickly funneled it out again. When she contacted an attorney, he told her there wasn’t a damned thing she could do about any of it. She had made him her manager, she had allowed him the control he had, and she had put him in charge of her money.
By the time the dust settled, she was flat broke, after working her ass off, since she was fourteen. Three years ago, she’d parted ways with Ray, and from that day on, she vowed that nobody, except her, was going to control her life. And she’d kept that vow…until now.
Jess huffed out a frustrated sigh, then picked up Angel and walked to the door and unlocked it. Shoring up her backbone, she headed up front to eat breakfast herself, then she’d get ready to go too. Thank god, Wade had put on a shirt by the time she walked back into the kitchen, and he was sitting at the table, refilling his plate. She smiled and walked around the table to sit down on a bench with Angel on her lap, then grabbed a plate to dish up some eggs.
Wade put down his fork, then got up from the table and walked around to her and said, “Here, sugar, let me take her, so you can eat,” then held his arms out for Angel.
Jess looked over at Jazzie at the end of the table, and her friend gave her a big goofy grin, then looked down at her plate and took a bite of eggs. Hell, from the way Jazzie acted around Wade, she’d almost think her best friend had a crush on him. That was all she needed, Jess thought. That would really complicate things, not to mention it would really piss Jess off. Wade was with her first, and they had a baby together, Jazz needed to back off, if that’s where her head was.
She lifted Angel up and handed her to Wade with a smile,
“The outfit you got her is adorable…thanks. She’s about outgrown all the newborn stuff, except for the t-shirts, because they stretch.”
“Well, we’ll just have to go shopping, won’t we baby girl,” he said then chucked Angel under her chin with his finger, and Angel cooed. Wade groaned and looked up at Jess with a smile. “Never thought I’d hear myself say I’d voluntarily go shopping with a girl,” he told her then laughed, and Angel giggled, then put her hand up on his chin.
“Eat up, darlin’, then we’re going house hunting,” Wade told Jess, then walked around the table and sat back down, but now his daughter held more interest for him than the seconds he’d dished up on his plate, or her. Wade’s eyes didn’t leave Angel, who was staring up at him in fascination.
Jess swallowed down the stupid jealousy that pushed up inside of her, then finished making her plate, and ate without saying a word. When she was done, she announced she was going to take a shower and change, and would be ready shortly. Nobody seemed to notice, because Jazzie was staring at Wade intently, and Wade was staring at Angel intently. Grabbing a garbage bag to cover her cast from under the sink, Jess went to her bedroom to get fresh clothes, then headed for the shower.
Since Travis had taken the truck to go pick up Mike and the rest of the band from the hotel, and bring them to the bar to get settled in, she didn’t really have to hurry getting ready. They’d have to set up the instruments he and Wade had loaded in the truck, so that could take a little while. Tomorrow would be their first night playing at the bar and in spite of her reservations, Jess was excited. The arrangement Wade had worked out for them really was a good one for their forced hiatus.
But living here at the bunkhouse wasn’t working for her…and one way or another, she was moving out soon.
Once Travis got back, they met the real estate agent at the first house he had to show them, which had been the start of an all day ordeal that had them both frustrated several hours later. They’d looked at five houses, and none of them fit with what Wade was wanting them to have.
The house was either too small, or the lot was not big enough for a swing set for Angel, or it was too old and had peeling paint that could be lead-based in his mind, which he’d read could be harmful to small children. There was only one that was a maybe, a cute three bedroom cottage, with a big fenced yard, but it was too far away from the Double B for him.
She could tell he was aggravated and so was the real estate agent, who told him that there weren’t anymore in their price range available. He told the man to go back the drawing board and find acceptable houses, not price ranges, then he’d stormed out of the last house and got back in the truck and they headed back to town.
“That last one was really nice, Wade…you should think about it,” she told him, because she didn’t want him to break the bank trying to find them a house. He’d done so much already, the clothes, the groceries, setting things up for them, he needed to take a break from it and breathe for a minute.
“It was nice, but it was too far out, too rural. If something happened, ya’ll wouldn’t be close enough to a doctor or hospital…and forget cell phone service, or getting the police out there quickly.”
“C’mon, Wade…every place we looked at had something wrong, according to you. We really don’t need much! I don’t want you going into mountains of debt, there’s no need for it!”
“Luke offered me a parcel on the back side of the Double B to build a house, and I’m thinking that would probably be for the best, now.”
“Really? That’s an idea, but it would take months to build something right?” God, she couldn’t imagine having to live with him in the bunkhouse all that time, but maybe she could deal with it. A new house, near people who could help if something happened, sounded pretty damned good, from a practicality standpoint. And it would be convenient for Wade if he had to stay at the house, when she was on the road.
“Probably at least four or five months, unless the contractor can bring in pre-fab panels or something.”
“Are there some models we could go look at or something?” she asked him hopefully.
He looked over at her, his brown eyes curious, “You think that’s something that might work for you?”
“Hell yeah, that sounds perfect…if we do the pre-fab thing and own the lot, we could probably get more house for the money too.”
“Okay then, I’ll talk to Luke and the contractor and see what they can come up with,” Wade told her with a grin that caused that damned dimple to pop in his cheek and her heart kicked in her chest.
Jess looked up in the rearview and saw Jazzie sitting there with her arms folded under her breasts, looking out the window. Her friend had been awfully quiet through the whole house shopping adventure, not really offering any kind of opinion, while they looked. Since Jazzie always had an opinion, her quietness worried Jess. She’d have to find out what was up with her friend later, when they were alone. It wasn’t that she was pouting or anything, she was just…neutral…not engaged.
“I wonder if we can get into the bar before it opens and do a little practice session,” Jess said then turned in the seat to look back at Jazzie. “I think we need one, don’t you?”
“Yeah, that would be good,” Jazzie agreed but didn’t look away from the landscape outside the window.
“We could stop by there, and check out the stage set up too, if you want,” Wade suggested looking in the mirror at Jazzie. Anger nipped at her and Jess bit her tongue, so she didn’t say something smart to him, like this was her band, not Jazzie’s. She realized she was being prickly again and reined herself in. Maybe he was just talking to Jazz, because noticed how quiet she’d been too.
But when she saw Jazzie look up into his eyes in the mirror and they smiled at each other, Jess lost her generosity and ground her teeth. Something was definitely up there, and she didn’t like it one bit. She spun in her seat to face forward, then crossed her arms and looked out the window, trying to control the simmering anger and jealousy inside of her.
Wade pulled up in front of the bar and parked, then came around and opened her door, then opened the back one and helped Jazzie down. Jess huffed out an angry breath, then slid down to the ground. She was already out and hobbling toward the front door, by the time he came back to help her. Walking as fast as she could in the cast, she pulled open the front door and walked inside the dim building. Jazzie and Wade walked in behind her and stopped by her side.
Jess could tell the acoustics in here were going to be crap. They’d have to make speaker and amp adjustments to try to compensate, because it might be a low dollar venue, but she still wanted to sound good.
She saw Mike, Denver and Tony setting up instruments on the stage and hobbled that way. “Hey guys, how’s it going?” she said with a big grin, then grabbed the rail to take the stairs up to the stage. Before she got a foot on the first tread though, her feet were swept out from under her, and Wade carried her up the stairs then set her down.
“Be careful you don’t trip on a wire, sugar,” he told her then went back down the steps.
All three of her band mates walked over and gave her a big hug, Denver was last and he lifted her off her feet and hugged her tightly. She put her arms around his neck and gave him a big kiss. “Glad ya’ll didn’t desert me…”
“Never darlin’…you know we love you,” he told her then squeezed her again, before setting her down. “You wanting to practice, doll?”
“Thought we’d better make sure I didn’t break my voice along with my ankle,” she told him with a chuckle.
Denver shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, then told her, “I can’t believe you dance around up here on this stamp sized stage like a gazelle, then you run across an open pasture and break your damned ankle.”
“Try it in high heel boots and you’ll understand how it happened,” she told him, and he laughed.
“No thanks, I’ll stick to my combat boots…they’re safer,” he said then walked back behind
the drum set and made some adjustments, then nodded.
Mike adjusted the amps, strummed his guitar a little, then adjusted some more, before he nodded too. Tony was last, and played a little run, and nodded, then walked over to pick up a stool, a mike stand and her acoustic. He set the stool and stand down by her, then handed her the guitar. “There you go, sugar,” he told her with a wink and a big smile.
