Then one afternoon, she opens her eyes. The sun is shining brightly into the room, filling the space with hope and love. It’s almost 2 p.m., and I’ve just gotten back from lunch. I find my usual seat, facing her and the window. When I get out my phone to check my email, I see her. At first, I don’t believe what I’m seeing. Her eyelids flutter a bit, just like they had all these times before. It’s a function of the brain working somewhere in the background, the doctors have explained, and it gives people the sense that the person is just about to wake up, but that’s not necessarily true. I’ve been tricked by this eye movement before. Especially during the first couple of days. But something is different about today. I keep looking at her. Then, slowly but surely, one of her eyelids opens. And, soon after, another.
“Chloe? Chloe?” I grab her hand.
She nods her head slightly, then presses her index finger into my hand.
“Oh my God, Chloe!” I take her hand to my lips. I kiss her over and over, and big, round tears start to roll down my face.
“You’re awake,” I whisper.
Chapter 25 - Finn
Over the next few weeks, Chloe continues a steady recovery. I continue to stay with her, and we have a lot of fun together. At first, she can’t even sit up in bed, but she can hear everything so I spend my days reading to her. I discover that she doesn’t have too much of an interest in anything serious or disturbing. Current events and hard-boiled detective fiction is definitely out, but Emily Brontë and Michael Crichton go over nicely. I’ve never read either, and I really enjoy Wuthering Heights, even though it runs a little bit too long for me. I do, however, enjoy Crichton immensely. Sphere is my favorite, even though Chloe is partial to Timeline. In addition to reading a lot of books (or rather, me reading and her listening), we also spend a lot of time watching Netflix and old movies like Beetlejuice. By the time we get to Beetlejuice, Chloe is already sitting up in bed and eating on her own. She has some movement in her neck, but her head is still bandaged up.
“That was so funny,” I say turning off my iPad. My stomach aches from laughing so hard.
“I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before,” she says. “It was hilarious.”
I look over at her. Her face is still puffy, and her eyes are like two little slits, but I love the smile that pushes her bandages apart.
“My nose hurts,” she says.
“Oh no, why?”
“From laughing,” Chloe explains. Her nose got broken, and they had to reset it. There’s a big bandage on top of it, with some sort of hard metal thing underneath. I can’t lie. It doesn’t look pretty.
“My eyes are actually watering,” she says wiping away tears from laughter.
I look at her. She doesn’t like me staring at her too much, but I can’t help myself.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
“So why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because I’m just so happy that I can enjoy this moment with you. I sat here for a week when you were in a coma not knowing if I will ever talk to you again. Or if you’ll even recognize me again. And now, you’re here, laughing so hard you’re crying. It’s just amazing. You’re amazing.”
“Don’t say that,” Chloe casts her eyes away. I can’t really tell if she’s blushing, but I have my suspicions. “Besides, even if I hadn’t recognized you, I’d know who you were. You should hear what all the nurses are saying about you behind your back. You’re a rock star.”
“A movie star,” I correct her.
She rolls her eyes. “Ouch.”
“Serves you right for rolling your eyes,” I smile.
“Finn…can I ask you a question,” Chloe suddenly grows serious. I turn to her and wait.
“What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Why are you here every day? I mean, I really enjoy your company, and it definitely makes me one of their favorite patients. But don’t you have something better to do?”
I’m taken aback by her comments.
“Do you not want me here?”
“That’s not what I said. I love that you are here.”
“I’m here because…because I want to be. When I first heard what happened, I thought I was going to pass out. I was so scared. Terrified. And coming here and staying here with you made me feel better.”
“And now that I’m better?”
“And now that you’re better, I want to spend time with you. I know that I didn’t get the chance to explain this properly before, but I was a total jerk before. You were right to get upset. I’m just sorry that I never got the chance to make it up to you. I shouldn’t have lied. I don’t have a good excuse. It was totally stupid and immature, and I just hope that one of these days, you can give me another chance.”
“Another chance?”
“Another chance for another date. I’d like to take you out again, Chloe.”
She smiles and lights up the whole world.
* * *
Finally, the big days is here. Chloe is getting discharged tomorrow, but she’s getting the bandages taken off today. She has been uneasy about this for a few days now. Agitated and uncomfortable. Lila is in the room with us, trying to calm her down.
“Everything is going to be okay, Chloe,” she says. “You’re going to look great.”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” she shakes her head. “What if it’s all disintegrated underneath there?”
“Well, it’s going to be good just to get them off, won’t it?” she asks.
“I don’t really know. I’m actually kind of used to them now.”
I look at her. So small in her hospital gown and in that big hospital bed. The sun is still up, and the fluorescent lights aren’t on full blast. This is good. No one looks good underneath those things. I’m an actor. I know very little about lighting technology or how it works, but I do know one thing. Lighting is everything. It sets the mood, it makes the more regular people look extraordinary and you do not want to remove bandages and look at your first face for the first time in weeks without having the right lighting.
“You’re going to look beautiful,” I say. “You know how I know? Because you are beautiful.”
She shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively. She’s still doesn’t have full motion of her neck, otherwise, I’d know that she would shake her head as well.
“But if you want to look your best, it’s better to do it now, rather than later. The light streaming in that window is amazing.”
She takes a deep breath. The nurses offered to help, but she said that she wanted to do it herself. She had seen them do it a million times before when they changed the bandages.
“Okay, you two hand me that mirror and look away.”
Lila and I turn around and wait. It feels like an eternity passes before she speaks again. I wait for her to gasp or cry out. Or laugh. But I don’t hear her exude any noise. The suspense is killing me.
“Okay,” she says. “Turn around.”
Lila and I turn around. I see the most beautiful girl in the world.
“You look…amazing,” I whisper.
She smiles.
“Yeah, really, really good Chloe.”
She looks at us and then in the mirror.
“You two are insane,” Chloe concludes.
“What?” Lila asks.
“My hair is matted, my cheeks are still really puffy and I’m ridiculously pale. And my nose…well, other than the bruise, I guess it looks okay.”
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” I say without missing a beat. I’m not acting. In this moment, she is.
Chapter 26 - Chloe
I have no memory of the accident. One minute, I was driving on the freeway and the next, I’m in the hospital staring at the bright lights and all the staff looking down at me. They are milling around, yelling something, but I can’t really make out any of the words. I’m somewhere far away. Not above
them, but definitely not entirely in my body either. After that, it all fades to black. I lose all sense of time. When I wake up, Finn is the first person I see. He’s there sleeping in the chair next to me. I can’t speak out to him. I can’t move a finger. He looks so peaceful sleeping sitting up like that. I watch him. I don’t entirely believe that it’s him. Why would he, of all people, be here? Where’s Lila? Where are my parents?
Blackness descends again. Sometime later, I wake up again. My eyelids feel heavy. Finn is there again. He’s looking at something on his phone. I want to call out to him, but my mouth is too difficult to open. He sees me. At least, I think he does. Then, I realize that I can move my finger. I press it as hard as I can into his hand. The most beautiful smile forms on his face. His eyes fill with hope, and I know that it’s going to be okay.
Over the next few weeks, my recovery is slow, boring and cumbersome. My parents come see me. Lila tells me that they flew out the night of the accident and have been here ever since. They come visit me for hours each day, along with Lila. They both seem to like Finn a lot. They talk to him all the time, and he continues to stay with me. It feels like he’s never not here. To pass the time, he reads to me and we watch Netflix together. I fall in love with the quietness of his voice and the roar of his laughter. He laughs with his whole body. Unapologetically. I remember when I used to laugh like that. But nowadays, my laughter is limited by all the tubes, bandages and fear of pain. Then the bandages come off. I’m terrified of the person I’d see underneath. Horrified of not having my old face again. In the past, I remember freaking out about every stupid pimple or imperfection. But now, I want to have my old face back more than anything. When I look in the mirror the first time, I see her looking back at me. I’m a little disheveled and rough around the edges, but overall, I’m me. When I turn to Finn, the look on his face tells me what he’s thinking.
He thinks I’m beautiful. Finn Dalton thinks I’m beautiful!
“Wow,” Finn says coming into the room. The nurses have helped me change into the loose fitting, black dress that Lila bought for me. I had an hour or so to get my hair and makeup in order. I’m getting discharged tomorrow and, to celebrate the occasion, he is taking me out on a date. Not far, just to the roof. But it’s still a date!
“You look…breathtaking,” he says. I smile as my heart fills with joy.
“Thank you. You too,” I mumble. That’s quite an understatement. Finn is dressed in a tailored grey suit without a tie. The white button-down shirt is perfectly starched, bringing out the olive color in his skin and the brightness of his eyes. His hair falls loosely into his eyes, but in that perfect casual way which makes girls swoon.
“Are you ready?” Finn asks. I nod and he wheels me away. We take the service elevator to the top.
“Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?”
“No,” he says, nonchalantly. “But I got everything ready.”
When the elevator doors open, I see a little set up at the edge of the roof. String lights wrap around the railing creating a cozy atmosphere around the little table and one chair.
“One chair?” I ask.
He points to my wheelchair.
“Oh, of course!”
He laughs and pushes me forward.
“What are we having?” I ask.
“Something very gourmet. California pizza kitchen.”
That sounds perfect! I love their pizza, and I haven’t had it in ages. When we finally get to the table, I see that the food may not be gourmet, but the setting definitely is. The table is covered in thick, white linen and set with expensive plates and cutlery. There’s even a daffodil and daisy centerpiece.
“Lila told me that these were your favorite flowers,” Finn says.
“They are,” I say.
When he opens the covered silver platter, I see a variety of pizza slices placed carefully in a round pizza.
“I wasn’t sure which ones you preferred, so I got a little bit of both.”
“I’ll start with a slice of pesto,” I say.
“Pesto, it is.” Finn takes a slice of Hawaiian pizza for himself.
After pouring us some wine, he sits down across from me and looks at me.
“I’d like to make a toast,” I say.
He nods.
“I’m not much of a toast maker, but I just feel like I have to say something to you. You have done so much for me over these last few weeks, and I will never be able to repay you. You have been there for me, even though…before this accident, I was horrible to you.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“Yes, I was. Don’t interrupt.” He flashes a coy smile and waits. “And so, I just want to take this opportunity to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything that you’ve done. From paying for all of my medical bills to just being there with me. Day in and day out. Without you, living in that hospital for so long wouldn’t have been that fun.”
“Thank you,” Finn says after I’m done. “And I would like to say something too. I’m so happy that you have made such a swift recovery. It has been a pleasure spending all this time with you. And I hope that we can continue to spend time together in the future.”
The rest of the dinner isn’t so serious. We joke, we laugh. We talk about stupid old movies and shows. He tells me that the first time he wanted to be an actor was when he saw the Brady Bunch on television. Mr. Brady made him feel like families on television were better than families in real life, and he wanted to go off and find himself a television family. I tell him that the first clothes I ever made were for my childhood cat. I used to torture her by running around and try to measure her to make the sweater just right. It was soon after that I realized that it was easier to get people’s measurements and made Lila a t-shirt.
After stuffing ourselves silly with pizza and wine, we take a break from eating. He wheels me out to the opposite side of the roof and runs back for his chair. He sits down next to me, takes my hand in his, and we look out over the lights of Los Angeles in front of us. The world is buzzing with activity, but we’re all above all that. Up here, there’s nothing but peace and quiet. Not even a single insect dares to interrupt our silence.
“I love you, Chloe,” Finn suddenly says, completely out of the blue. I turn to face him. He isn’t even looking at me. He’s looking somewhere far off in the distance.
For a second, I think that I had misheard him.
“What?”
“I love you,” he repeats himself in the exact same tone. He turns to me. “I’ve never said that to anyone before. Not to anyone but my mom.”
“You love me?” I ask skeptically. “But how…do you know?”
“I used to ask that same question. And now I know. I know because I love you. Because of a million different reasons. But mainly because I want to spend all of my time with you. In all of these weeks, even when you could barely speak, and now that you’re almost back to normal, I’ve always wanted to spend time with you. I looked forward to seeing you, no matter how much time has passed. Even if I had just gone out for a snack to the vending machine. I love you, Chloe. And I just wanted you to know that.”
I stare at him. At his intense eyes. His beautiful lips. I don’t know what to say. I should say what I feel. That I love him too, and that I’ve loved him since our first date. Since that moment when I thought that someone had stood me up and had rescued me. But for some reason I choke up. Tears start to gather.
“Oh my God, are you okay?” he asks, taking my face into his hands and wiping my tears with his strong thumbs. I nod.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize for crying more than anything else.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. That was too much for you. I shouldn’t have come on so strong.”
I shake my head, no. He doesn’t get it. These are tears of joy. Relief. Hope. I look into his eyes and then pull myself a little closer to him. When I close my eyes, his lips touch mine, and sparks of electricity course through me. It feels just like the first
time. His touch causes this chemical reaction in my body, one that I can’t control. His tongue makes his way into my mouth as he buries his hands in my hair and pulls slightly. My heartbeat speeds up, and we start to move as one. His hands run down my neck and shivers run up my spine. As his tongue demands more and more of my mouth, his fingers make their way along the top of my breasts. I start to breathe a little faster. I run my fingers down his body and stop at his thighs. I move my hand up and down his thighs, and his breathing speeds up to match mine. His erection is already full-fledged, and I press down on it, a little bit.
“Oh, Chloe,” he moans into my ear.
“Does it feel good?” I ask. He nods through the kiss.
We mess around for a little bit longer, but never cross the line. My doctor has made it clear to me that I can’t participate in any recreational activities quite yet, and that includes sex. As much as I want to violate that rule, I can’t. A big part of me is relieved when Finn pulls away first. He was there when the doctor explained all the rules of recovery to me.
After we stop making out like teenagers, he takes my hand in his and we again look out over the roof, admiring the lights below.
“Finn,” I say after a while.
“Yeah?” he responds after a moment. Lost in thought.
“I love you too.”
Epilogue - Chloe
It is our two-year anniversary. Exactly two years since our date on top of the rooftop of the Cedar Sinai Medical Center. Though my recovery has been difficult at times, and I still have some pain in my neck when it rains, I’m pretty much all better. After our rooftop date, I went home with Finn and pretty much never left. At first, it was all under the guise that I still need to help with getting better, my parents had to go back home and Lila had to go to work. But after a few weeks, it was because we both wanted it that way. Every time I thought that I was overstaying my welcome, Finn would convince me that I wasn’t. He’d ask me to stay for a few days more. After a while, I just moved all of my things in and we were living together.
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