by A. E. Murphy
She’s right, I mean… I’m right. No. Hell. “James.”
“Yeah?” he stops at the door and turns to face me.
“I’m sorry it’s like this.”
He steps over to me and wraps me in his arms, I return the tight hold. “Me too.”
We stand like this, body flush to body in the middle of our daughter’s room just holding each other for… I don’t even know how long. I think we’re both scared to let go. Me especially. I mean if he’s only just realized we are in fact finished, does this mean he will suddenly start dating? What if he gets another girl pregnant? Will he suddenly not want me and the baby anymore? Of course the rational part of my brain tells me he’d never let this happen… but I’m still scared. What of you ask? I have no idea. I’ve come to terms with my choice to end it. I’ve accepted the fact that it’s over. So why am I so sickened by the thought of him with someone else? I’m sure it’s normal, my heart doesn’t know that he doesn’t belong to me anymore. We’ll get through it, we have too.
We must have been holding each other a while because I hear the door slam and footsteps in the hall, that’ll be Jacob. After another brief squeeze we pull apart, I already miss the sound of his heart beating against my ear. He kisses me forehead and we step out of the room. Jacob is in the kitchen making lunch I assume so I see James to the door.
With one quick glance back he closes the door behind him leaving me aching and empty. “Lucas is having us both over tomorrow,” Jacob calls from the kitchen. “Sylvia made you a cake with Amelia. She figured you wouldn’t take it from James but I’d never deny a cake that Amelia is so proud of.” Clever woman. I laugh with him. “I’ve booked my flight for next Wednesday.”
Of course he has. I’m going to miss him. “We’ll still talk though right?”
“Nothing could keep me away.”
And suddenly nothing feels right anymore. I’m going to be alone… again.
“So you don’t want any pain relief?” DJ asks with a smirk. “Just gas and air?”
I nod. “I’ve been researching the epidural and apparently it can have long term effects on your back. Not something I want to deal with.”
“Fair enough. You can’t have one in a birthing pool anyway. Any particular reason for this choice?”
“Then I won’t be all bloody and dirty and the baby might not be so gunky.” Meaning I won’t be as freaked out when it’s thrown into my arms.
He grins broadly, “This is a great birthing plan. I’ll try my best to make sure you get it.”
Thank fuck for that. Where the hell is James?
It’s bad enough that Jacob left two days ago. Of course we had an awesome time doing things that I’m allowed to do and pigging out on food. Marie has yet again been a constant although something is going on with her whenever I try to talk to her about it she says it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll trust her judgment… for now. Summer is currently in the process of planning my baby shower with Sylvia, which should be a fun few hours. It’s in two weeks. When I’m officially seven months pregnant. Did you know technically you’re pregnant for ten months but they say nine because some months have five weeks in them. And you’re technically only pregnant for thirty eight weeks instead of forty because they add two weeks on so it dates back to your last period. Makes no sense to me if I’m honest.
Where the hell is James? He should be here by now. Six other couples and I are sat on mats in a circle around a large light room with weird wooden changing stations pushed to the sides and large gym balls and other equipment I’m not sure why we need. I’m the only person who’s alone.
“Right, today we’re going to do breathing exercises,” blah, blah, blah. She goes on about the breathing techniques and sits on her own mat. I’m purely mesmerized by her hair, so yeah, she’s not the most attractive woman but she could be if she didn’t have her hair pulled up on top of her head in an Elvis styled quiff. Finally the door opens and James bursts inside, panting like an overexerted dog.
I pat the mat, he rushes over after introducing himself to Lady Quiff. From the side, the quiff is really big. “I think it has its own brain,” I whisper to James who starts chuckling. It’s so obvious what I’m talking about I don’t even need to point at the object to which my remark was based. “It’s talking to me. Comb me, comb me.”
The men start sitting behind their partners. James slots himself beside me and puts his thighs against mine. I lean back into his chest. Hoo, hoo, hee. That’s me breathing just so you know.
“And when you push, you push into your bottom like you’re having a great big poop,” a few people chuckle but get on with it. I feel like an idiot.
Push! Parp. That did not just happen.
“Shut up,” I hiss giggle at James whose body is shaking mine so hard the baby is a few short movements away from becoming scrambled. “Shut up. It’s not funny.” He’s trying to stop himself from laughing out loud and ends up snorting.
Everybody else is completely oblivious. Thank the lord.
You are vile. You just let one rip in public.
It was the baby. Totally not my fault. He’s still fucking laughing. I hear him clear his throat as to calm himself. It doesn’t work. I can’t help being gassy! The other day I walked from my bedroom to the kitchen and with each step a parp snuck out. Completely involuntary but there was nothing I could do to stop them. Jacob, as you can imagine was laughing so hard he fell to his knees and then onto his back. I found him there ten minutes later still laughing as unfortunately the same thing happened as I left the room too.
We continue on with our pushing and breathing exercises for the next twenty minutes before doing some weird yoga and pelvic floor exercises. At one point I’m in the doggy position in front of James as he rubs my lower back. He actually started sporting wood! Even went as far as to press it against me! Who does that?
Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it.
Whatever. I haven’t had sex in ages and incase nobody told you this before… pregnancy makes you horny as fuck.
All of the women here are between seven and nine months. I only look about five months pregnant compared to them. It’s a little scary, the scan this morning with DJ showed she’s growing fine. It was only a quick 2D scan as the next proper scan won’t be for another four weeks. That will be the final scan before birth.
My blood results are fine, her position is fine everything is fine. I just need to keep reminding myself this.
Chapter Twenty Two
“I can’t believe you farted,” James chuckles as we climb into his car. I got a car service to drop me off when he called to tell me he’d be missing my doctor’s appointment just in case you were wondering why I’m leaving my car behind. I ignore him and proceed to tell him about my time with DJ and all the good news.
“It’s called a four D scan by the way.” Just thought I’d add that. I stare at his lips and squeeze my thighs together to stop the burning ache that is screaming fulfillment. “And I felt your mini James rise up in class. That’s just naughty.”
He grins mischievously at me, “I felt you squirming.” That I was.
“I’m horny,” I state simply. “Really horny.”
His breath catches and I watch as he puts his foot down.
Thank the heavens we’re finally getting some!
“You sure?” he asks and glances sideways at me as we weave in and out of traffic.
I nod, a little desperately, “Yeah. I’d rather it be you than someone else.” Apparently this is the wrong thing to say. Eep. He looks really angry. “I mean. You’re first choice. I wouldn’t even think about doing it with someone else. At all. I haven’t. And I won’t.” Keep digging…
We pull up outside my place. Fuck.
I shut my eyes for a moment, when I reopen them James’ hands are gripping the steering wheel pretty damn tight. “So… you want to?”
“Not really,” he bites out. He’s dismissing me. “I’ll see you at the baby shower.”
D
efinitely dismissing me, “James. You know I have a talent to say the wrong thing.”
“It wouldn’t change anything if we did would it?”
“Well… no.”
“Then go find somebody else.” Ouch.
He even leans over me to open the car door. I undo my seatbelt and climb out.
At least we have that awesome vibrator.
Ah, my new best friend.
He spins out of the driveway before I can even fully shut the passenger side door. Alone again. I head inside, dump my keys in the bowl on the desk by the door as I kick the door shut behind me. After shrugging off my coat I hang it on a hook on the wall, place my shoes on the shoe rack beneath it and go straight to my bedroom. Where did I put you? Ah! Found it in my drawer.
Ding, ding. “Fuck,” I groan and throw it back in my drawer. Who the hell is here now?
“Hello!” Lucas grins and walks straight past me followed by Amelia. “Hungry?”
“I’m always hungry.”
“Sylvia sent another cake, Amelia decorated it,” he places the cake box on the counter and the scent of warm chocolate and fudge fills my nostrils. Amelia toddles off with a slice on her plate, I hear the TV come on a moment later. Lucas senses my aggravated mood, “S’up?”
“James wouldn’t scratch my itch,” I grunt to myself and take a huge bite of my slice. Heaven!
“Say what?”
“I pissed him off. We were at the antenatal class and she had us doing all kinds of stretches. James got a little friendly and then on the way home we decided we were going to… why am I even telling you this?”
He starts chuckling and sits beside me, “So, you’re horny and we disturbed you and James won’t screw you?”
Yes and you dear are looking to be a mighty fine substitute right now.
“Pretty much. I made him angry again. I’m always doing that without meaning too.” Another large bite. God, that’s almost as good as sex. Sinus blocker deserves a medal. “And tell Sylvia I don’t care who she sends these cakes with. I’m not getting them often enough.”
The baby starts wriggling in my stomach. That’s so annoying.
“We’ll get going in a minute,” Lucas laughs and pats my head like a dog.
“I don’t want you to go!” I say a little too desperately. “I’m lonely. It sucks now Jacob’s gone.”
“Ok, we’ll watch movies.”
No sex then?
He’s James’ brother!
Right now the lines are blurred in a haze of horniness. You know he’s packing. Just get him drunk and seduce him.
My mind is evil. Pure evil. “What are you thinking about?” Screwing your brains out!
“I’m actually wondering about you,” and what you feel like. “And what’s going on with you. You’re constantly disappearing. Has it anything to do with that drug addict person, woman, girl, whoever?”
“Yeah. Things are… tense at the moment. Nothing to worry about. James just texted me.” He clicks his message open. “Are you at Maya’s? (Pause, tap, tap, tap.) Yeah why?” We wait a few moments. “He says, Get out. I’m on my way back.” He winks at me. “I think I should go.”
“But…”
“Have fun. Come on Amelia. Time to run.”
I give them both hugs and watch as they leave. Fine then. Abandon me.
It’s no more than three minutes after they left when the door flies open and James storms right up to me. I shudder when he grabs me under my arms and knees, hoists me up and carries me to my room.
“James, what are you…”
“No talking. I’m so damn horny I can’t see straight.” And my top just hit the floor. “Lie down.” Yes sir.
I watch his eyes move over me, from the tight black leggings that reach my ankles, over my pudgy and to my face after lingering on my bra clad breasts which have fortunately grown about two sized. Then he rips off his own clothes and kneels by the bed. Leaning up on my elbows I watch him pull my boots off my feet and smooth his hands up my thighs.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he mutters and rolls my leggings down and off. I feel a cool draft on my aching core when he tears away my panties. Oh dear god. I need it now. A raging fire of lust is coursing through my veins. His lips touch my inner thigh. I shudder and moan. Everything feels so heightened. He pushes me back by trailing slow and gentle kisses over my pudgy and up to my breasts. With quick hands he releases the clasp at the front of my bra and takes a breast in each hand.
“James!” I cry out deliriously as he works on my neck and slides his body in-between my thighs making me buck against him, wanting to feel his length enter me, yet he keeps it pressed against my thigh. One hand leaves my breasts and a finger slides into my aching wetness. “More dammit!” Teeth sink into my neck as he rubs his thumb against that tiny nub. His fingers hook against my inner spot of glory and I explode. That was quick but fucking powerful. “Please James.”
Finally, he lifts himself to his elbows, his eyes squeezed shut with pleasure as he guides himself into me using only his hips. “Fuck.” He grunts and thrusts his full member to the hilt. Oh dear god I’m on fire. Move damn you move! Yes… that’s it. His hips rise and fall as he pumps into me, his stomach barely grazing my own.
With a sharp movement I’m empty and being dragged to my feet. “Grab the bed.” I bend over and grab the wooden footboard of the bed. He’s in me again in seconds. His hands slither around my front, one going to my swollen hood and the other going to my breast. The feeling is unreal, it’s so unreal my head feels like it’s going to explode. I’m a sobbing crying mess but not the tearful sobs or cries, the screams of pure pleasure and incoherent nonsense kind of cries.
“Yes!” he hisses through his teeth and slams into me a little more forcefully. I’m rising, up, up, up, it’s building inside, I can feel my feet burning I’m that sensitive right now. “Maya, come for me babe. I can’t hold out any longer.”
“Don’t stop,” I whimper and a bead of sweat trickles from my hairline and down my nose. “Harder. Please baby. I need more.”
I feel him tense, he’s trying to hold on. Just a little more, just a little. “MAYA!” his body jerks and spasms, his cock swells inside and I’m lost, I tumble forward with him still inside of me. He stops me from falling as we both come together, both pulse together. We collapse onto the bed with him still in me. His hands cup my pudgy and our breathing steadily calms. “Amazing.”
“Yeah.” I mumble my agreement and turn over to face him. Unfortunately his semi slips out but I don’t care. I just need to hold him.
“What are you doing?” he says a little sharply as I bury my face in his neck. “Don’t do that.” And then the warmth of his body is gone. I sit up and pull the bed sheet around me and watch him gather his clothes.
“Where are you going?” Ok, now I’m confused. I thought he wanted this yet he looks positively torn.
“Home,” he replies nonchalant. Now I’m even more confused. He tugs up his pants. “I’ll call you.”
Ouch. Is this how Paul felt when I… this really sucks. “Hey. Why don’t you stay a little longer?” Don’t leave. Not yet.
“Nah. I should go. Thanks though,” he kisses my forehead and then my pudgy. “Call me if you need anything.” I need you now. I need you to stay.
“So, you don’t want to do that again?”
“Yeah, just call me,” he checks his phone and pulls my bedroom door open. “See you when I see you I guess.” Ok… bye.
I’m still gaping, still got my hand in the air long after he’s gone. What the fuck just happened?
Karma is a bitch.
At least we aren’t horny anymore. I’m feeling rather satisfied and sated. How about a nap?
Good idea.
Maya: Hey.
James: What’s wrong?
Maya: You were really distant during class today???
We were taught how to bath a baby. Pretty easy to be honest and quite fun. I have no complaints on that matter. What I do hav
e to complain about is James. He barely spoke to me, he made it a point to have no physical contact whatsoever and only answered my questions with hums and murmurs. On the way home… that was tough. I tried to invite him in for a drink. He said he was busy and drove away. I’m afraid to say it has been eating at me all day.
James: Nope. I’m fine.
Maya: So you aren’t purposely avoiding me?
James: Nope.
Maya: Ok. Want to come round?
I can actually see the baby move now and it’s not as freaky as I expected it to be. I unfortunately forgot to tell James earlier. He’ll probably want to see it. It’s crazy, it’s like the movie Alien is it? Where the alien in the belly starts wriggling and you can see a lump move across the skin. Sort of like that but probably not as painful. Sure it’s uncomfortable but I find myself sitting with my belly out and staring at my bump. Watching her try to get comfy and then try again and again.
James: No. I’m busy.
Maya: You can see the baby move now. I forgot to tell you.
James: I’ll see it next week. Thanks for the offer.
What the fuck? What the hell has crawled up his ass?
Maya: You’re really pissing me off now.
James: Stop concerning yourself with me! You’ve got a baby in you that doesn’t do well under stress. I’m not your business anymore.
What a fucking prick! Well! I am not standing for that.
Maya: But I’m your concern? I’m your business?
James: Whilst you’re carrying my child yes. When she’s out you can do whatever the fuck you want as long as it doesn’t jeopardize her in any way.
