by Frater, Lara
“It’s going to be tough,” Jim said, but then he smiled. “In the short run we should be okay. We can’t live on canned food forever. We have to start thinking about farming.”
“Come on. Bet everyone wants to get out of here. We got enough food and water for a while.”
“What do you think, Grace?” he asked me.
“I can steer us.”
“Even with us commoners?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll teach everyone how to sail and shoot, no strings attached?”
“And no more dope for shooting?” Tanya asked. “Cause I won’t be a dope dealer, not anymore.”
“I will shoot, I will sail. I will teach. That is all I will do. No payments.”
Tanya went over to consult with the others. With the exception of Henry and Eric, they all seemed happy about her idea. She came back to us.
“Is Henry going?” Jim asked. He didn’t ask about Eric.
“Yeah, but he gets sea sick. Luckily, we took a big thing of Dramamine. Everyone else is good.”
“I’ll cast off when you’re ready. Pick out where you want to stow.”
“Don’t want the best bedroom, Grace?” Tanya asked.
“No. A bunk in the crew quarters is adequate.”
I don’t know how long I drove around, the end was fucking nigh. If it wasn’t zombies, it was people looting food stores. No one wanted to steal my car, a silver Lexus, when there were plenty of free cars to take. My three rifles kept the leeches away. The population had taken the warning and stayed home when they were sick. Most died at home in bed, like Daddy.
When I figured out that there was nowhere to run, nowhere safe to go, that’s what the last radio broadcast said, I hunkered down in a place I could easily defend. It was an apartment above a store. It was easy in the beginning. There was still water, electricity and gas. I took a bath every day. I cooked food that had been left over. I drank water from the tap instead of my reserve supply.
First the electricity went. But that didn’t matter. The radio and TV no longer broadcasted, the internet didn’t connect so who needed it and I had eaten all the perishables from the refrigerator. I had plenty of candles and a flashlight. I could still cook and take my bath. I spent the day perched at a window, waiting for zombies, while stoned on pain killers and booze. At night, I slept locked in the bedroom.
Then the gas went out. No more cooking, ate beans out of the can, ate Daddy’s powerbars. Had cold showers instead. They were nice because without electricity, there was no AC.
I tried not to think about murdering my brother even though he asked me to.
Then the water stopped coming. I had lots of bottled water. I wish that I filled up more from the tap.
I think it was the fact I was running low on booze and pills that caused me to leave.
I got close enough to marina so that they didn’t have to walk far although the boat was too big to get close to the parking lot where the truck was. I got off the boat, leaving Jim to watch it and work out living arrangement. Dave said he’d look at the electric system to see if he could get it up and running. Mike had some fuel. The boat might need new spark plugs to start again. Both Henry and Tanya volunteered to figure out how to hotwire it.
I went to shore to watch for zombies as the others brought suitcases and bags back and forth. I wasn’t ready to do manual labor, other than putting up the sails. Daddy taught me to sail, said sometimes you had to be alone without servants. While I could get the sail up, I was still an amateur at it. We would be okay as long as we stayed near shore.
The sun was high in the sky. It was getting on noon. Sunset was around seven. We would have to park the boat before then. Without light, electricity or GPS, I wouldn’t be able to see what was out there.
We caught a break. A lovely breeze took us four knots and by the time we dropped anchor, we had passed Fishers Island and were on the ocean. It was quiet, dark and lovely with a sunset beyond amazing. With no lights from the island, and a lack of pollution made it a pinkish and yellow matte painting. Even the seas were calm. People spent the day sorting, working out their room arrangements and trying to figure out a place for the bulkier items. Dave and Mike threw unnecessary things overboard like the big screen TV which I watched sink into the murky water.
In the end, the yacht looked like a refugee boat camp but I guess that’s what we were now. I was no longer a princess but a lonely refugee.
Dave took a crew bed with Olive, and Tanya took the other with her cat but I didn’t know how comfortable she would be in a confined space. Mike, Hannah, and the three kids took the two-cabin suite, Jim and Eric took the small cabin and Annemarie and Henry took the other. I thought about sleeping outside as long as it wasn’t too cold.
In the morning, we took the boat about another ten miles. I could even see the Vineyard. My mother got the summer house there and the Paris apartment in the divorce. I imagined her dead or living it up without children the way she always wanted to. Tanya and I went below deck and she sealed the doors. Jim was chatting with Tanya in the lounge area. Dave sat on one on the couches with his dog. I heard voices from the bedrooms. I had been up for 24 hours but didn’t feel sleepy.
I opened my bag and rummaged around it. I pulled out a two large bottles. I didn’t want to give them up, but I knew if I had to face this new reality. A reality without Edina, Uncle Len, Joe and Daddy, without my money, or my prestige or tailored clothes. There’s that or again. I had to face it sober. I walked over to Jim and handed it to him.
He looked it over. “Vicodin and Xanax?”
“I did take some but I saved the rest.”
“What were you saving the rest for?”
“When we ran out of bullets.”
Jim didn’t get a chance to respond because I began to cry, not the misty eyed tears Jim gets when thinking about Cameron, sobbing.
Jim and Tanya looked unsure about my weeping, so Jim held me. His strong arms reminded me of my brother. I didn’t want to cry in front of them, but when my father died, when Joe died-- I never cried for them. They were my life, my rock, everything to me.
When I realized I had broken down in front of them, that I let them see me vulnerable, I pulled away. Jim was silent as I left his arms. I turned around to face the pretty picture window and the blue sky
Then a flash lit it up, brighter than the sun. It looked beautiful.
Coming Soon: the sequel: Stuck in the Middle. Expected publication date: October 2013.
Follow me on http://www.facebook.com/LaraFrater or https://twitter.com/FraterLara
COPYRIGHT 2012 Lara Frater Desperate Measures Press
Cover by Dave Mauzy 2012
Acknowledgments.
I’d like to thank the following people for their wonderful help: Frannie Zellman, Maxime Laboy, Jonathan Frater, Dave Mauzy, and Lesleigh Owens for their helpful feedback, criticism and painful proofreading.
If you open up the doors, we'll all come inside and eat your brains. – Jonathan Coulton Re:Your Brains
