“Evan kinda badgered me into it, to be honest.”
“Yeah, the people who love you will do that,” Stephen said dryly.
“You said Russ initiated the adopt a foster kid conversation, right?”
“He did.”
“It didn’t seem very you.”
“It’s definitely not something I would have pursued on my own,” Stephen agreed. “But now that we’re on the same page about it, I’m just as enthusiastic as he is.”
“Hey, I’m not disparaging it.” Jeremy held up his hands. “Because I honestly think this is great for you guys. You both have a lot to give and that kid is going to be lucky as fuck to have you both looking out for them and giving them a safe home.”
“If we do this, I want to give them the home you and Evan never had,” Stephen said, surprised to find himself a little choked up. “The one I never had.”
Jeremy gripped his shoulder. “Damn, Stephen.” He sounded choked up too. “You’re going to be a fucking awesome dad.”
And then Stephen was too choked up to say anything, so he just hugged Jeremy hard.
He caught a glimpse of Russ across the room. As if he felt Stephen’s gaze on him, he turned his head and gave Stephen a small smile. There wasn’t the remotest flicker of jealousy in his gaze as he saw Stephen embracing his ex. ‘Love you,’ Russ mouthed.
‘Love you back,’ Stephen mouthed back. He let go of Jeremy and stepped back, wiping his eyes.
“What about you and Evan? Have you discussed kids?” he asked when they’d both composed themselves.
“We’ve discussed it, yeah.” Jeremy leaned against the counter. His voice sounded a little rough too.
“No consensus on it though?”
“It’s a maybe for both of us, honestly,” Jeremy said. “I mean, Evan’s not even twenty-five. He’s fucking mature as hell for his age, but he’s still young. I feel younger than I did for years during my recovery, but I’m just enjoying this chance to really build a good life for myself. I think we’re both okay just focusing on our careers and our relationship for a good long while, you know?”
“Yes. I understand that.”
“Someday? I dunno. Maybe. I guess we’ll know when the time is right. Or we’ll fucking do it anyway.” Jeremy chuckled. “I wasn’t ready for Evan, but he showed up when I least expected it and was the best thing that ever fucking happened to me so …” Jeremy shrugged. “We’ll see what happens.”
“I think at this point, that’s the best way to deal with life in general,” Stephen said. “Just assume nothing will go as expected and learn to roll with it.”
Jeremy held up his drink. “Amen to that.”
They clinked glasses.
“I know I’ve said this before, but every day I’m more and more grateful for the accident.”
Stephen raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“Because there’s no way in hell I would have been right for Evan without it.”
Stephen nodded slowly. “I can understand that. High price though.”
“Yeah, it was.” Unlike in the past, there was no bitterness in Jeremy's voice or in his eyes. Just a calm acceptance of the hand fate had dealt him. “But it got me here,” Jeremy said passionately. “I’m living with a guy I’m fucking crazy about, we’ve got a cute as shit dog, my pain levels are manageable, and I’m thinking about the future again. It’s so fucking good I can’t believe it.”
“I know that feeling,” Stephen said. “My life is about to be upended and I’ve never been more excited.”
“You should be,” Jeremy said. He clapped a hand on Stephen’s shoulder. “And, you know, take advantage of the time alone with Russ while you’ve got it because that’s all about to change.”
“True,” Stephen said.
“At least with a puppy, I can shut it in a crate for a few hours without getting CPS called on me.”
Stephen snorted. “Every time I think you’ve matured; you say something like that.”
“It’s all part of my charm.” He grinned broadly. “You know you love it.”
“I guess I do,” Stephen said. “But remember, the more you laugh, the more I’m going to call you to watch the kid when my husband and I need a night out.”
“I did not agree to that shit,” Jeremy said with laugh.
Stephen slung an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders. “No, but Evan will agree if we ask, and we all know you’d do anything for him.”
“Goddamn it,” Jeremy muttered and, laughing, they rejoined their friends and family.
TEN
Stephen studied Russ, puzzled, as he approached his cube. Russ sat at his desk staring at his phone. He wasn’t using it, just looking blankly down at it.
“Hey, are you ready to head to lunch?” Stephen asked quietly. Russ whipped his head up and stared at Stephen wide-eyed like he’d shouted at him. “Is everything okay?”
“Did you get the phone call?” Russ asked hoarsely as he rose to his feet.
Stephen reached for his phone. “No, I was in a meeting. I haven’t even looked at … wait, what phone call?”
“The call. They said yes. It’s a go-ahead. They want to arrange a time for us to do the final paperwork to take Austin home.”
“Holy shit.” Stephen felt dizzy all of a sudden. “That’s … wow.”
“Yeah. Wow.” Russ was glowing, his eyes bright and his smile wide, and Stephen loved him so much that it didn’t matter that his heart was suddenly galloping in his chest at the thought of being responsible for the life of a whole new person. “I can’t believe this is finally happening.”
“You’re going to be great at this,” Stephen said quietly.
“So are you.” Russ threw his arms around Stephen. “Congratulations. You’re about to be a father.”
“You too. I think I might need to sit down though,” he admitted, dazed as he hugged Russ tight. Jesus, what if I have a heart attack and drop dead, leaving Russ to raise Austin alone? he thought wildly. “I’m not quite sure how I’m standing right now.”
“Oh God, I know.”
“This is really happening, huh?” he asked as he drew back.
“Yeah, it is.” Russ beamed. “I’m terrified and excited all at once.”
“So am I.” Stephen smiled back at him. “Want to go out to lunch and celebrate?”
“I don’t know that I’ll be able to eat, but yes, let’s get out of here for a while. We’re going to be fathers. We should … celebrate. Or breathe into a paper bag. I’m not sure which.”
When they pulled away from each other, a spontaneous burst of applause broke out, and Stephen suddenly remembered where they were—in the middle of their crowded office. People got to their feet and surged around them, clapping them on the backs, congratulating them.
Sherri said, “I’m sorry we were all eavesdropping, but we’re all very excited for you. Congratulations to you both.” Her eyes looked watery as she held out a hand.
In a daze, Stephen shook hands with their co-workers as they talked a little more about what was happening. It was like when they’d gotten back from their honeymoon, only bigger, and he was touched to see how excited their coworkers were for them. It was a hell of a moment for a man who had grown up feeling like he never quite belonged in the same world as everyone else.
“If we’d known, we could have held a little office party!” Sherrie chastised them. “We always give new parents a shower.”
“It’s not necessary, but you’re very kind,” Stephen said.
“Yeah, it’s not like we need diapers and formula,” Russ joked.
“I know, but we could have done a cake at least,” Sherri said. “Any excuse for a party, right?”
They both chuckled. Stephen didn’t need a party—he’d celebrated with the people who really mattered—but it felt fantastic to be included. Like he and Russ were absolutely no different than any other new parents out there. And that he treasured more than he could ever put into words.
“What’s all
this?” Peter called as he came out of his office. Several people scurried back to their desks like they were afraid the boss was going to get mad, but Stephen knew him well enough to be sure the frown on his face was mostly for show.
“Russ and I are celebrating,” Stephen said proudly. “We’ve been approved as foster parents to a teenage boy named Austin.”
Peter smiled widely and hugged him. “That’s fantastic. I am so pleased for both of you.” He shook Russ’s hand as well. “So, I assume you’ll be using more of your PTO in the future like we talked about, huh?”
“Probably,” Russ said, and Stephen nodded.
They’d both sat down individually with members of the management team to discuss how this might impact their work schedules. Stephen’s meeting with Jerry—the CEO—had been a little tense.
“This isn’t a great time, Stephen,” he said. “Your role is expanding.”
“I’m aware,” Stephen said. “And you know working here is something I love. But I’ve dedicated several decades of my life to my work here. I don’t think it’s unreasonable I focus on my family for a little while. I can continue to expand my role here. I am just going to need more flexibility with my hours. There will be appointments I need to go to and times I’ll need to work from home. I’m not asking for anything unreasonable,” he pointed out. “Straight parents are given the same privilege, and if I’m not afforded equal access to it, I will have to look for other recourse.”
Jerry blanched, like Stephen had threatened him in some way. He supposed he had, in a way. He’d always loved the working atmosphere there, but he was committed to being the best possible parent to Austin. Stephen wasn’t about to neglect Austin’s needs for work. Stephen loved his job, loved the company, but that loyalty only went so far.
“No need to do anything hasty,” Jerry said. “We’ll make it work.”
Stephen wasn’t sure if Jerry was more afraid of a lawsuit or of Stephen walking out, but if it came down to it, neither was out of the question. He’d made a commitment to Russ and to Austin, and nothing—not even the career he loved—would get in the way of that.
“And Russ will need the same flexibility,” he said calmly. “I know he’s in a more tenuous spot because his career isn’t as established, but he shouldn’t be penalized for choosing to become a father.”
“Right. Got it.” Jerry cleared his throat. “Of course, Vantage will do what it can to support you both.”
“Glad to hear it.” Stephen stood with a nod. “Have a good day, Jerry.”
Now, Peter just smiled. At least he would be behind them one hundred percent, no threats of lawsuits needed. “We’ll make it work. Just let me know what you need, Russ.”
“Will do.”
They were both grateful Peter was genuinely happy for them and much more flexible about what their new lives might demand. For someone who had never considered anything a greater priority than his career—mainly because he’d never been forced to choose between a partner and work—this was a strange new direction for Stephen.
“Okay, ready to go to lunch?” he asked Russ.
“I am.”
Ten minutes later, by mutual agreement, they found an unoccupied bench in a quiet park nearby where they could talk. The weight of what had just happened seemed to hit them both again.
“Holy shit, Stephen.” Russ’s voice was hoarse as he reached for Stephen’s hand. He gripped it tightly as he watched a couple of ducks waddle by. “We’re really doing this. Why do I feel wildly unprepared all of a sudden?”
He chuckled. “Because we’re turning our lives on end? And it’s a completely unknown challenge for both of us.”
“This is crazy.”
“We’ve got this,” Stephen said. “Remember, we’re not going to be perfect. We aren’t going to get it right all the time. But we’re going to try and we’re going to keep trying. And we’re going to do everything we can to make a happy, healthy, permanent home for Austin. That’s all we can do.”
“Right.” Russ turned his head and his face held the exact mix of hope, fear, and excitement that Stephen felt. “Thank you for doing this with me.”
Stephen glanced around quickly to make sure no one was immediately in view. Apart from a lone jogger heading away from them, there was no one nearby except for the ducks. He slid a hand along the back of Russ’s neck and pulled him in for a lingering kiss. “Thank you for asking me to do this,” he said softly as he drew back.
Over the next few days, Stephen felt like he sleepwalked through his life as they signed paperwork and set up the bedroom with all of the basics Austin might need. They made plans and lists and discussed rules and debated if they were too strict or too loose and it suddenly hit Stephen all over again that he was going to be a father. And every time, Russ talked him down, reminded him they could do this. And he was grateful all over again. Because he never, ever would have done this on his own. Never thought himself capable of it.
And then it was suddenly the night before Austin would arrive and both their nerves went galloping into overdrive again.
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing we got a bigger table,” Stephen said as he looked around after dinner.
“He’s one teenage kid,” Russ said with a little laugh as he cleared plates. “He won’t take up that much room.”
“I know. I’m just saying …”
“We made some great decisions when it came to moving to this place,” Russ agreed.
“We did.”
“What do you want to do after dinner?” Stephen asked.
“Wellll …” Russ grabbed Stephen’s belt loops. “I was thinking that we should take advantage of the fact tonight will probably be our last night completely alone together.”
“That’s an excellent point.” Stephen grinned at him. “What did you have in mind?”
“Balcony sex,” Russ said promptly.
Stephen’s grin widened at the thought. “It is an awfully nice night out.” It was early April, but they’d had a nice warm spell for the past few weeks and had a string of days in the mid-70s and nights that weren’t too cool.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Lead the way.”
Stephen gathered the supplies and they both changed into robes. Balcony sex had become a semi-regular thing—in warm weather anyway—and they’d set up a private, screened-in area where even the building across the street that towered stories above them couldn’t see in.
Stephen loved the feeling of being nude in the fresh air and the tease of the sun or a light summer breeze along his bare body. Now, the sun was just setting behind the horizon as they stepped onto the balcony. They’d done plenty of sunbathing out here as well. Of course, that often led to sex as well. He had some very pleasant memories of a scorching late summer night with Russ’s mouth wrapped around his cock.
“Lose the robe,” Stephen instructed when they were behind the privacy screen.
Russ slipped it off and tossed it across a chair nearby.
“Good boy. Stand there and let me look at you.”
Stephen shrugged his robe off as well and spread it out over the lounger. He settled onto his back on top of it, then folded his hands behind his head, looking Russ over. The early summer sun glowed around him, kissing his skin with gold. Stephen felt his worry settle and fade away like smoke as he took in every inch of Russ’s body. His cock was hard, and he was so, so beautiful.
Goddamn am I a lucky man. “I’m all yours.”
“I know that.” Russ’s gaze was heated. “But I take it I’m in charge?”
Stephen smirked. “No, but I’ll let you do the work.”
“Let me, huh?” Russ crossed his arms.
“Yes. Let you. Come here.”
Russ dropped to his knees and crawled toward Stephen. Interesting. He’d never done that before. Stephen quite liked it though.
“Good thing I’m feeling very well-behaved right now,” Russ said teasingly.
“Good thing.” Stephe
n widened his legs, so he straddled the lounger, feet on the floor on either side of it. “Get me hard.” Truthfully, he was already halfway there but he wasn’t about to pass up on an opportunity to feel Russ’s mouth on him.
Russ began with this thigh, kissing his way up. His mouth was warm as he dragged his tongue up Stephen’s thigh before playfully biting.
“Careful, boy.” He grabbed Russ’s hair. He was wearing it a little longer now. The look suited him, but he wasn’t sure if Russ had done it because he liked the look or was encouraging Stephen to grab it more often.
“Lick my balls.” Russ’s gaze never left his as he pressed in, licking his way across them and sending heat through Stephen’s body. He threw his head back as Russ bathed his balls with his tongue, lavishing attention on them. The evening breeze combined with the wetness added another jolt of pleasure and he groaned. “Mmm. Suck them.”
When Russ took one of his balls in his mouth and sucked gently, Stephen eyes fluttered shut. He guided Russ by the hair between the two, urging him to give them both equal attention. “Now my cock.”
“Mmm, good boy,” he praised Russ as he took him deep. Like always, the wet heat of his mouth tempted him to spill down his throat, but he had a lot more planned for the evening. Before he came, he reluctantly let go of his hair. “Sit up.”
“Is that well-behaved enough for you?” Russ gave him a sly little smile as he sat back.
“It’s a good start,” Stephen said, smirking back.
“What if I told you I prepped my hole for you when I went in the bathroom?”
Stephen crossed his arms over his chest. A breeze wafted over his dick, still slick from Russ’s mouth and he suppressed a shiver at the cool sensation. “I’d tell you that you’re a very naughty boy and denied me my chance to watch you fuck yourself open on your fingers.”
Russ’s happy expression fell, and Stephen didn’t want that. He gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, you can make it up to me. Grab the lube.”
Russ reached for the lube he’d set on the side table earlier.
“Kneel on the ground, back to me,” he instructed.
Full Balance (The Peachtree Series Book 3) Page 13
