I scratched at the back of my head, not wanting to let her leave. What I wanted was to drag her into the shower with me and have her take care of me the way I really needed her to.
But I was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be up for that.
“I’m going to have your car looked at today. Where are you working?”
How pathetic was it that I didn’t know a thing about her? Where she’d gone and how she’d truly been. Only knew these few minor details that were so major that my head was still spinning, nearly as fast as my spirit was reeling.
“Nelson Dentistry,” she answered.
“All right,” I told her, calculating how I was going to make all of this happen today.
She stood a foot away, itching, the air between us alive. “All right. I’ll see you tonight at seven.”
“I can’t wait.”
She grabbed her shoes from where she’d left them on the floor and threaded the straps through her fingers. Her hair fell all around her, those lips and those eyes so dominant in her slender face.
So goddamn gorgeous I wanted to reach out and touch her again.
She looked up at me with the full force of that beauty.
“Just . . . be careful with him, Maxon. That child has endured enough pain for a lifetime.”
She turned and started for the door, and the second she did, a million questions started coming at me. Faster and faster. Blow after blow.
Finally, couldn’t keep it in, and the words were getting loose from my tongue. “Dillon’s dad?”
Jealousy burned on my skin.
Had no right to it. But it was there. Wound up in that cute kid who’d been bouncing around, nothing but a pistol.
She froze at the doorway, spine going rigid. Slowly, she turned to look back at me. “That’s not somethin’ I want to talk about, Maxon. This is about you and Benjamin. That’s it.”
“You sure about that?”
Couldn’t help but exert it.
This.
Us.
The fact it was going to happen.
She held me with nothing but nostalgia and regret in that mesmerizing gaze. “You hurt me, Maxon. You hurt me somethin’ fierce. I’m not sure I can handle that kind of hurtin’ again.”
Then she left me there, my fists clenched at my side, a silent promise on my tongue.
She was mine.
And I’d never let a fucking thing hurt her again.
Thirteen
Izzy
“You spent the night at his house?” Faith screeched through the line.
My attention went darting around my surroundings, and I lowered my voice to a hiss as if it were the world’s most sordid secret. “Would you be quiet? Someone might hear you.”
Light laughter rolled out of her. “Like who? Your conscience?”
“This isn’t funny,” I said. “You know it wasn’t anything like that.”
Except for all those stupid feelings that had kept rising to the surface the whole time. The turmoil that spun, his and mine, the need that had become partner to it all.
Not to mention, having to sleep in that chair next to where he was lying, the man moaning throughout his sleep, whimpering my name the whole time.
It’d done a number on me.
“You’re the one who told me I needed to tell him, and look what happened,” I accused without an ounce of anger.
I could almost feel the shift of her demeanor, her mood sobering as she exhaled in what sounded like sympathy. “You knew it wasn’t gonna be easy, but you knew it had to happen. Living with that weight was nothin’ but a burden to you, Izzy. It was time. Way past time.”
“I know.” Exhaling long, I pressed my trembling fingers to my forehead where I stood beneath a tree trying to hide out from the blazing sun.
I’d slipped out for my lunch break and called Faith, needing someone to confide in.
Get this disorder of emotions off my chest.
“I’m proud of you for going back over there. That took a lot of courage,” she added.
I paced a circle. “I just . . . I’m terrified of what happens now. He’s insisting he wants to be a part of Benjamin’s life, but he doesn’t have the first clue what that really means. I mean, God, you should have seen the way he took off runnin’ when he saw Benjamin. The man was the definition of a cowardly cat with his tail caught on fire.”
“Did you expect anything different? You knocked that man for a loop . . . Jace and Ian got a call to go down to Monty’s to talk the guy down, he was so distraught. Shocked. He deserved that time, and it didn’t take him all that long to come to his senses.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours. Mack’s. Benjamin’s. Love’s. Whatever you want to call it.”
Sometimes her belief was infuriating.
“Can’t you just man bash him with me for a little while?” I all but begged. Still, the hint of a tease was weaving its way into my tone.
I could almost see her pursing her lips, not sure if she wanted to laugh or chastise me. “Is that what you really want? To bash that man more after what he went through last night? Not to mention the fact that you walloped him a good one, too.”
Regret churned in my spirit as I let myself grasp how serious this was.
The man could have died.
What she was so conveniently forgettin’ was that he’d walloped me a good one first.
And that was the crux of Maxon Chambers.
He’d give. Give and give and give. In all the wrong ways.
Believing his own safety wasn’t of worth. Making all the wrong decisions when he thought he was bein’ noble.
And I couldn’t help but worry that was exactly what he was doing now.
Doing the honorable thing and trying to do right by his son. That was all good and well except for the fact our hearts were tangled in the middle of it.
“No, it’s not. Of course, not. Doesn’t mean that makes it any easier.”
Faith pushed out a slow sigh, and I could hear her wavering, struggling with what to say, and I knew she was getting ready to lay it out the way she always did.
No holds barred.
“Think you need to ask yourself what it is you’re really scared of, Izzy.”
“You know exactly what it is I’m scared of,” I whispered bluntly.
No use in hiding it.
I blinked away the moisture that threatened my eyes.
Truth was, I was terrified. Terrified of the way he made me feel. Terrified of the power he still wielded. Terrified of those blue eyes that screamed sincerity.
The man just standing there with that beautiful body, begging for my trust.
And trust?
It was the pinnacle of loyalty.
The culmination of hope.
Grace given in love.
He’d held all of mine in the palms of those hands.
Fisted it so tightly that he’d crushed it.
I knew it.
Knew it in my gut.
That man could wreck me anew, and I couldn’t afford for that to happen.
“And maybe that is exactly what makes it worth it, taking this chance,” she urged in her soft way.
“I have to be strong for my boys.” It was nothin’ but a defense.
“And sometimes strength reveals itself in our vulnerabilities. In our willingness to lay ourselves on the line. Maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing.”
“Well, I guess we’re going to figure that out pretty quick since I went and invited him over to dinner tonight.”
I almost rolled my eyes at myself. I couldn’t even make the man suffer it out for a day or two before I was inviting him back through my door.
Nothing but a masochist.
But there’d been no resisting the sorrow that had been clear. The truth of it. The intensity of it.
Maxon was broken over this. But he’d been broken all his life. And I just prayed that brokenness didn’t destroy us all in the end.
Heavin
g out the weight of the worries, I glanced at my watch. “I better go. Lunch is almost over. I need to get back inside.”
“Okay, call me later and let me know how it goes tonight.”
“I will,” I said before I ended the call and peeked over at the office door where I’d started my new job little more than four hours before.
Luckily, I’d taken to it quickly, the software they used the same as at my old office. Suffice it to say, Helen had been pleased, going on about how I was going to work out just fine while I’d been struggling to focus on work at all.
Leaving the shade of the tree, I jogged across the parking lot and hopped onto the sidewalk running the front of the strip mall.
I was just getting ready to pull the door open when Dr. Nelson popped out of the fancy car that had pulled into a spot in the front, wearing another pair of scrubs, smiling his bright white smile.
He rounded the front of his car, tossing his keys in the air and catching them as he approached.
“Isabel.”
“Hello, Dr. Nelson,” I managed as I stepped back in his direction, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I tried to turn my attention to the job rather than the disorder I’d left whirling back under that tree.
Problem was, it was doing its best to follow me.
“How did this morning go?”
“I think it went pretty well.”
He tipped up a smile. “Pretty and modest.”
My brow lifted. “Excuse me?”
Did he just call me pretty?
He chuckled under his breath, waving me off. “Sorry, ignore me. I was just thinking out loud. What I meant to say is you’re being modest about it only going okay. Helen has told me no less than ten times that you’re the perfect fit for the office and basically saved her life.”
There was nothing I could do to stop the flush that rushed to my cheeks. “Well . . . I think she might be exaggeratin’ a bit.”
He grinned, leaning back. “I doubt that.”
More redness. This time rushing all over. “Well . . . I . . . thank you,” I finally settled on, not exactly sure what to say, feeling a little unsettled with the way he was appraising me.
“Thank you for stepping up the way that you have. We needed someone like you in the office.”
“I’m really happy to have this job,” I told him, right before my attention was getting hooked. Stuck on the roar of the big truck that rumbled into the lot.
My breath snagged in my throat when I realized who was driving, Maxon’s face so gorgeous when he pulled into an open spot and hopped out.
My heart that had barely leveled since I’d left his house this mornin’ shifted into overdrive.
This out of control pound, pound, pound that beat in time with every overconfident step he took. As if my entire being was emitting a thundering signal that begged him to come my way.
He wore jeans and a tight-fitted tee, just innuendos of those tattoos I’d seen last night peeking out the bottom of the sleeves, the rest of the innocuous shapes winding down into the art on his forearms.
The grime from last night had been washed away, but the butterfly bandage over his eye was still intact.
It only made him appear sexier.
Rougher and rawer and everything that shouldn’t be making my mouth go dry.
Dr. Nelson turned his focus in the direction mine had gone, and he reached out and set a hand on my arm as if he thought he needed to offer protection.
“You know this guy?” His voice sounded with speculation and distrust.
“Yeah,” I barely managed.
Maxon’s easiness faltered when he saw Dr. Nelson touching me.
His chin lifting and those eyes flashing possessively. If I didn’t know better, I would have been sure there was smoke puffing from his nose.
“Maxon, what are you doin’ here?” The words were a rasp.
“Told you I was going to get your car taken care of today. You didn’t think I’d forget, did you?” Confidence rode out with the question, and that strong brow lifted as his eyes dropped to Dr. Nelson who was still gripping my arm.
The problem was, I didn’t have the first clue what to think when it came to him.
What to say or what to do.
So I just stood there staring with my mouth hanging open.
Maxon cocked his head, waiting. Then he put out his hand as a smirk twitched up at the corner of that lust-inducing mouth. “I’m going to need those keys, beautiful.”
I nearly had a stroke right there. It was bad enough last night when he was mumbling those sweet things incoherently. But out in broad daylight? In front of my new boss?
Every cell in my body was seizing.
He edged forward, and I was inhaling, sucking down the overwhelming presence of the man. “Izzy . . . your keys?”
“Oh, right, right,” I fumbled, snapping out of the spell he had me under. Apparently, I went stupid when I had two very gorgeous men loomin’ over me.
Sucking in a breath, I stepped away from Dr. Nelson without drawing too much attention to the act and turned all my focus to digging around in my massive purse I had slung over my shoulder, kind of wishing it was big enough for me to crawl into so I could hide. Disappear.
I finally found them and pulled them out, and I held them up like a prize. “Here we go.”
Maxon sent me a smile. One of those smiles that had my tummy tumbling and my pulse going haywire. Dimple denting on one side of that cheek and those blue eyes dancing.
Oh lord. What was he tryin’ to do to me?
He stuck his hand out under them, and I dropped them into his waiting palm.
Kind of like he was asking me to do with my trust.
“Thank you,” I told him honestly.
Wholeheartedly.
His expression softened, and his lips pressed together. “It’s the least I can do.”
I bit down on my lip to try to keep the wash of emotion from floodin’ my eyes, and I simply nodded, taking a step back toward the office.
He seemed to take the hint that I needed to get back to work, though he hesitated, looking back at Dr. Nelson who seemed to be staring him down.
What in the world was happening?
But there was no missing the tension banging between the two of them.
Some sort of challenge being thrown.
Mack’s eyes narrowed before they slowly shifted back to me. “I’ll have this back before you get off.”
“Thank you again,” I whispered.
He nodded, then glared back at Dr. Nelson before he turned and started across the lot toward my car. He paused to glance over his shoulder. “Can’t wait for tonight, Little Bird.”
The oxygen jumped from my lungs, and my chest heaved at the outward affection, knees wobbling with the way he was lookin’ at me.
And I knew right then that I was in so much trouble.
Taking my discomfort all wrong, or maybe he’d gotten it exactly right, Dr. Nelson set his hand on the small of my back. “We should go inside.”
I nodded around the lump in my throat, and I let him open the door and guide me in, more than thankful for the blast of cold air on my face.
Anything to cool the burn.
God knew, I’d be a fool to stand in the flames.
Fourteen
Mack
I pressed the button to accept the call on Bluetooth in the Suburban. Didn’t even have the chance to say hello before Pete’s voice was coming at me through the speakers.
“You’re alive!”
He sang it like he was a cast member of some terrible Broadway show.
“Feel like death. Does that count?”
He laughed outright. “You were beat to shit, man. Have to be honest—you scared the piss out of me when I rolled up on the scene and you were flat out and facedown. Thought I might have lost you.”
“Apparently, Baren and Dominguez got there right as one of those pussies found themselves a nice steel rod. They’d have shown up
a few seconds later, and it would have been lights out for me. Too bad the rats scattered before either of them had made it out of their cruiser.”
Regret tightened my throat like a noose.
What if yesterday on Izzy’s porch would have been my only chance? The one time I’d seen my son? His one memory of me splitting like a bitch?
Sickness clawed, and I forced it down, hands cinching on the steering wheel.
Instantly, I wished I hadn’t done that, either.
Truth was, every movement was brutal. Every inhale agony. Ribs burning like a motherfucker, and my skin feeling like I’d gotten up close and personal with a cheese grater.
Funny how I didn’t think I’d ever felt so alive.
The sensation of Izzy’s presence still wrapped me like an embrace.
I inhaled, and I could still smell her.
Closed my eyes, and I could still feel the tender caress of those fingers. Could still hear the soft cadence of her voice.
Girl had taken care of me like I was something that deserved to be cared for, same way as she always had. Filling me up when I was nothing. Maybe that was the reason I’d gotten greedy.
Just like I was feeling then.
Because I was dealing with another problem when I closed my eyes—I saw that pompous fucker wearing scrubs with his hand on her like he thought he had every right to put it there.
Took everything I’d had not to rip it clean from his body since it’d been clear he was staking some sort of claim. Figured that wouldn’t go over all that well. All I needed was a headline about a local detective going rogue and coming unglued on some poor, unsuspecting nurse or whatever the fuck that he was.
Except I was pretty sure the asshole would be expecting it.
Gauntlet thrown.
“How’d it go with Woods?” Pete asked, breaking me out of the haze of anger.
Unclenching my locked jaw, I somehow managed a grin. “You know she loves me.”
Could almost see the disbelieving smile crack his face. “You asshole. Don’t tell me you got off scot-free again.”
Wanted to roll my eyes. Again was a stretch. Sure, I’d gotten into a few situations that weren’t exactly protocol. But I toed the line the best that I could. Respected the rules and my sergeant.
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