The shopper wandered over to the booth and caressed a green-and-blue beret. She saluted Dymphna with her biodegradable cup of chai tea, purchased from a stall across the asphalt. “I love your TV show,” she said.
“Podcast,” Dymphna said in a breathy whisper. “It’s just on the web. It isn’t a real TV show.”
The shopper held the hat up to the Southern California sky. The yarns sparkled, changing colors like a prism. She then expertly popped it on her head at a jaunty angle, studying herself in the mirror.
“Video, podcast, TV show, I don’t care, I just love it all,” the woman said, handing the hat to Dymphna with a smile. “This beret is just fabulous.”
Dymphna stared down at the beret. Did the woman want to purchase it? Or was she just handing it back? There were more compliments than sales at the Santa Monica Farmers’ Market. It was times like these when she wished she were a little more like Erinn—assertive and self-assured. Erinn would just come right out and ask the customer if she wanted to buy the hat. But Dymphna could never bring herself to be so blunt. She would just wait it out, until the woman made whatever decision she was going to make.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but are you going to buy that hat or not?”
Dymphna looked up. Sometimes people could get pushy and she was not one for conflict. It was Ms. Primb. Why was she still here? What did she want?
“So,” Ms. Primb said again to the shopper and pointed an accusing finger at the hat in Dymphna’s hand. “Are you buying that or not? We don’t have all day.”
We?
“Yes,” said the woman, handing over her charge card to Dymphna and blinking aggressively at C. J. Primb. “I am.”
Dymphna hurriedly rang up the sale and started to put the hat in a paper bag. Whatever weirdness was going on with Ms. Primb, Dymphna didn’t want to distress one of her customers.
The woman took her charge card back and put her fingertips on Dymphna’s arm. “That’s OK, sweetie,” she said. “I don’t need a bag. No need to kill a forest on my behalf.”
“I wouldn’t,” Dymphna said.
“Pardon me?” the woman said as she adjusted her new hat in the mirror. “You wouldn’t what?”
“I wouldn’t kill a forest on your behalf.”
The woman nodded quickly, first to Dymphna and then to C. J. Primb. Dymphna watched her as she drifted down the aisle to the vintage jewelry. Dymphna suddenly realized C. J. Primb was still studying the merchandise—or was she studying Dymphna? Their eyes met. Ms. Primb made no attempt to leave.
“May I show you anything else?” Dymphna asked.
“Not really. I just wanted to get a good look at you.”
Dymphna tried not to show her surprise. Many people watched the show and felt as if they knew her—and could say anything they wanted.
“Well, feel free to look around,” Dymphna said cautiously while looking around herself—mostly for something to do. She wished Erinn would come back. She started arranging embellished half gloves on a smooth manzanita branch that she used as a display rack. She tried to ignore the woman, who just stood, rooted, in front of her booth.
“Let me ask you something,” Ms. Primb said.
“Yes?”
“If you had all the money in the world, what would you do with yourself?”
“I . . . I really don’t know,” Dymphna said. “I’ve never thought about having all the money in the world.”
“Oh, really?” Ms. Primb practically snorted in disdain.
“What about you?” Dymphna asked. She had read somewhere that people loved to talk about themselves, and you could get out of practically any uncomfortable situation by asking your tormenters to talk about themselves. “What would you do if you had all the money in the world?”
“I do have all the money in the world,” Ms. Primb said as she walked away.
Photo Credit: © William Christoff Photography
Celia Bonaduce is the author of six novels and is currently a Field Producer on HGTV’s House Hunters. She has covered a lot of ground in TV programming, including field-producing ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and writing for many of Nickelodeon’s animated series, including Hey, Arnold and Chalkzone. Her successful Tea-Shoppe Stops, lectures and readings of The Venice Beach Romance Series; Merchant of Venice Beach, A Comedy of Erinn and Much Ado About Mother will continue across the country with the Welcome to Fat Chance series, although a better venue might be local rodeos. Celia lives in Santa Monica, California with palm trees, the Pacific Ocean and her husband, Bill.
Website: http://www.celiabonaduce.com/
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It’s been a year since an eccentric billionaire summoned seven strangers to the dilapidated, postage stamp-sized town of Fat Chance, Texas. To win a cash bequest, each was required to spend six months in the ghost town to see if they could transform it—and themselves—into something extraordinary. But by the time pastry chef Fernando Cruz arrives, several members of the original gang have already skedaddled . . .
Fernando’s hopes of starting a new life in Fat Chance are dashed when the town’s handful of ragtag residents—and a mysterious low-flying plane—show him just how weird the place actually is. His hopes of making over the town’s sole café into a BBQ restaurant for nearby ranchers threaten to turn to dust as a string of bizarre secrets are revealed. But just when the pickins’ couldn’t get any slimmer, the citizens of Fat Chance realize they might be able to build exactly the kind of hometown they all need—but never knew they wanted . . .
The Rollicking Bun—Home of the Epic Scone—is the center of Suzanna Wolf’s life. Part tea shop, part bookstore, part home, it’s everything she’s ever wanted right on the Venice Beach boardwalk, including partnership with her two best friends from high school, Eric and Fernando. But with thirty-three just around the corner, suddenly Suzanna wants something more—something strictly her own. Salsa lessons, especially with a gorgeous instructor, seem like a good start—a harmless secret, and just maybe the start of a fling. But before she knows it, Suzanna is learning steps she never imagined—and dancing her way into confusion.
“The Merchant of Venice Beach has a fresh, heartwarming voice that will keep readers smiling as they dance through this charming story by Celia Bonaduce.” —Jodi Thomas, New York Times bestselling author
Erinn Wolf needs to reinvent herself. A once celebrated playwright turned photographer, she’s almost broke, a little lonely, and tired of her sister’s constant worry. When a job on a reality TV show falls into her lap, she’s thrilled to be making a paycheck—and when a hot Italian actor named Massimo rents her guesthouse, she’s certain her life is getting a romantic subplot. But with the director, brash, gorgeous young Jude, dogging her every step, she can’t help but look at herself through his lens—and wonder if she’s been reading the wrong script all along . . .
Look out, Venice Beach—the Wolf women are all together again. But when 70-year-old Virginia arrives with her teacup Chihuahua and unshakeable confidence, she senses trouble. Erinn is keeping secrets—like being broke and out of work—and Suzanna is paying too much attention to the wrong man—a Latino dance instructor who nearly broke her heart once before. Virginia’s ready for the third act of her life, and she intends to make it rousing and romantic. Now she just has to convince her daughters to throw out their old scripts. If life has taught Virginia anything, it’s this: there’s more than one way to a “happily ever after” . . .
To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.
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Copyright © 2016 by Celia Bonaduce, LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
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First Electronic Edition: July 2016
ISBN: 978-1-6018-3433-1
ISBN-13: 978-1-60183-434-8
ISBN-10: 1-60183-434-9
Livin' Large in Fat Chance, Texas Page 26
