by Lym Cruz
At some point, Robert, David, and Christina showed up. I barely said two words to any of them, I just wanted all of this to be over.
“Jesus, what’s taking them so long?” I muttered under my breath.
The stillness was frustrating, and my mind’s replaying of Melissa being run over was unbearable. Why didn’t I go after her when she left? Why?
The door to the waiting room opened, we all glanced up, and my stomach curled. A doctor in blue scrubs entered and I stood. He looked exhausted, but he was a man of age and with age came experience.
“Melissa Alford?” the doctor said to no one in particular.
“Yes,” we all answered at the same time. The doctor’s brows furrowed slightly.
“I’m Doctor Collin,” the doctor said. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting for news; I know it’s very stressful to not know what’s going on with your loved ones. Here’s where things are right now: Ms. Alford has had a head injury, fractured ribs, and some abrasions, but she’s expected to make a full recovery. However, ... I have sad news about the baby. We did an ultrasound and I’m sad to say that the baby didn’t have a heartbeat. We did all we could, but unfortunately, the baby did not survive. I know this news is very upsetting, I’m very sorry.”
My knees buckled and I stumbled back a few steps. Someone placed their hands on my back, sustaining me.
“When can I see her?”
“Soon. She’s being transferred to a room on the third floor. A nurse will call you once she’s settled. She’s under and will be for a while.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”
Dr. Collin nodded back and left us.
“She’s fine,” Christina whispered and tears streamed down the side of her face. “She will be all right. That’s all that matters.” More tears flowed but they were happy ones. She was relieved and to be honest so was I. I didn’t want her to lose our baby but I was glad that Melissa was all right.
I found my seat and shut my eyes. I opened them when I felt someone sit close to me and placed their hand on my knee.
“Do you, um, want us to call her parents for you?” Erica said.
Fuck. I hadn’t had the chance to call her father about the baby and now I was going to deliver him this tragic news. His daughter was in the hospital and lost the child he knew nothing about.
“It’s okay, I’ll do it.”
∞∞∞
Melissa was settled into a room. A sterile room with the clinical smell of the hospital. Her breathing was strong and her heartbeat steady. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. She wasn’t too roughed up apart from stitches on her forehead and a few scratches on the right side of her face. Her body was covered with a white sheet, a hospital gown peeking out from underneath. I held Melissa’s hand tightly and sank to the chair by the bed. To me, she was still the most beautiful person in the world.
I took a few minutes to be alone with her before I let anyone else in. I talked to her for a while, even though I was sure she couldn’t hear me. But it felt good nonetheless. Then I let everyone else in. Their visit was brief, long enough for them to see that Melissa was all right. When Mel was with Erica and Christina, I stepped out to call her parents. They didn’t ask for details, all they wanted to know was whether Melissa was all right. Once I’d reassured them that she was, Anthony said he’d be here sometime tomorrow morning. He’d get a private jet and fly in immediately.
Then we were alone again, save for a few times a nurse came to check on her. Eventually, there was nothing left to do except to watch Melissa sleep.
Chapter 28
Melissa
My eyelids were heavy. I tried to lift them but they fell back down. When I managed to keep my eyes somewhat open, my surroundings were blurry. I couldn’t clearly make out what I was seeing and my body was burdensome—I couldn’t move. Then I registered a sharp pain on my head and the pain descended to the rest of my body. It was more intense on my left side.
I tried swallowing, but my mouth was dry. I heard sounds. Voices, lots of voices. They were familiar and they were whispering. Then, there was a maddening sound that kept repeating itself in short, constant intervals.
Beep. Beep. Beep. There it was again. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I squeezed my eyes shut then forced them open—it was bright… too bright. I saw faces but they were blurred. I blinked until their features came into focus.
Why were all these people here? And why was I in so much pain?
My parents, Andrew’s parents, Erica, David, and Christina.
My mother was curled on a couch, snuggled next to my father. They were both dozing. Andrew’s parents and the others were talking and didn’t notice that I was awake.
The beeping sounds. The pale blue walls. There were flowers everywhere around the room. The scent of bleach and antiseptic made me aware of where I was.
I panicked, hit by my last memory. A car. Heading towards me… I closed my eyes, blocking the pain and the memory itself.
Where was Andrew? My eyes flung open. I turned my head slightly and noticed the IV attached to my arm. I looked down and saw Andrew sleeping. He was sitting beside me leaning on the bed with his head resting on his folded arms. The next thing I heard was a high-pitched scream of my name.
“Melissa,” Erica squeaked.
Andrew startled awake, raising his head. He blinked his sleepy eyes awake and I smiled over the ache, reassuring him. Andrew jumped to his feet and threw himself on me.
“Melissa.” His shaky cry was both of amazement and relief. “You’re awake.”
I winced. As much as I wanted the hug it hurt. “Ouch.” My voice was throaty.
Andrew lurched back. “Sorry, I… um, let me get the doctor.” He ran out and the other faces immediately hovered over me. My mother kissed me, weeping. Her tears fell onto my skin. I wanted to tell her that I was fine, but she wouldn’t stop. Thankfully, my father pulled her away before he showered me with kisses himself.
“Papa.” My voice was barely audible. I cleared my throat. “I’m fine. I need air.”
He held my face in his hands, his bright green eyes were glowing with tears. “I love you so much, my love.”
It had been a while since I’d seen him and only then I realized how much I missed him. I forced my lips upwards, and he stepped aside, giving space to others.
Jennifer air-kissed both my cheeks and Andrew’s father simply nodded in my direction. Then it was Erica and Christina. I’d never been kissed this much in my life. My mother was at my side again and took my hand in hers telling me how happy she was to see me.
I was genuinely happy to see all of them but having the room full was overwhelming. I was tired, in pain and slightly confused. All at once, they spoke, asking me questions. It was too much information to process.
As I stared at them, my mind raced and my heart rate increased as a sudden surge of heat overtook my body. With the increase of my pulse, my breathing became shallow and I couldn’t catch a breath. I felt as though the walls were closing in on me. My chest constricted painfully ensuing the onset of trembling, I shook all over yet I was boiling hot.
My mind was screaming that I was dying, I couldn’t breathe. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I could hear my mother hysterically calling my name, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t respond. My grip tightened around her hand, not wanting to let go. But the room was dimming, and everyone’s faces turned into little spots of light. And then it all faded.
∞∞∞
When I woke, I could still hear the beeping. A twinge of relief swept over me when I heard voices—male voices and I instantly recognized my father’s. Right after that, all I felt was pain. My head, my body, everything hurt and felt heavy.
I opened my eyes and there weren’t as many people. I only saw my parents, Andrew and elder man in a white coat, who I assumed was a doctor.
I coughed lightly and they all turned to me but this time they stayed back. I could see the relief on their faces though.
&nbs
p; Only the doctor moved towards me. He introduced himself and helped me sit up. Sitting up was something I normally did without putting much effort into it, however, this time the simplest movement was difficult to execute.
“What’s your name?”
“Melissa.” I cleared my throat. “Alford.”
“Good.” He took my hands in his and asked me to squeeze. “And do you know where you are, Melissa?”
“Hospital … I think.”
He nodded and then shone a light in my eyes and told me to follow it. “Count backward from ten to zero.” I succeeded with the task given and the doctor continued his examination. He was kind and gentle, but as gentle as he was, I flinched when he touched my ribs.
“You fractured a few ribs and suffered a minor concussion. All your exams came back clean and everything seems to be in order. But as a precaution, I’d like to keep you here for further observation since you took a blow to the head. A nurse will be here shortly to take you for an MRI and then we’ll get you something for the pain, okay?” I nodded even opening my mouth to speak was arduous. “Meanwhile, if you feel any dizziness, nausea, or an increase to your headache press this button immediately.” He pointed to the nurse call button.
I nodded in response again.
“How long will that be?” My father asked. “The MRI?”
“Long enough for all of you to go home and rest. She’s fine.” The doctor turned back to me. “I’ll come back later to check on you as well, okay?”
Now that the doctor had told them that I was okay, I examined my loved ones thoroughly and frowned. Andrew looked awful. His hair was messy and his eyes bloodshot. He was wearing the same clothes I last saw him in and there was blood on his shirt. My dad’s tie was loose on his neck, hanging over a blue shirt. My mother was simply beautiful without trying but her eyes were tired.
“You guys should go then come bac…” my words trailed off as I remembered something no one had mentioned. “My baby?!” My voice croaked and my hand went to my stomach protectively.
“Excuse me,” the doctor said, nodded once at Andrew and then left.
“I’ll be outside if you need me,” my mother said in Portuguese and held my father’s hand as they walked out.
“Andrew,” I said, tears already forming in my eyes, fearing the worse. It was clear that whatever was coming next wasn’t pleasant. The pained expression Andrew held was scaring me. “Andrew.”
Andrew ran a hand through his hair and walked closer to me then shook his head.
I stopped breathing. The pain this time wasn’t physical it was coming from a place deep within me. My baby was gone. I shut my eyes, fighting to rein the hurt. But I couldn’t. And I couldn’t stop the tears that managed to slip from my clenched eyes.
Our baby was gone.
I felt the touch of Andrew’s fingertips on my face and then he brought my head to his chest. My chest was heavy, loaded with sorrow. I wanted to scream. I couldn’t keep the emotions in anymore. I opened my mouth and sobbed uncontrollably. There was so much hurt and agony in the sound of my own cries.
Andrew kissed my head and reassured me that we’d be all right. I wasn’t so sure.
My heart was split into two. Just like that, my life had changed in a drastic way. All of the images of the future I’d conjured up suddenly began to fade. Slot by slot they erased themselves from my mind. Then I was left with nothing but a blank page that I couldn’t see past. Almost as if I didn’t have a future anymore.
It was all gone.
I didn’t know I wanted our baby this much and I never imagined that losing it could hurt as much. I never, not even in my wildest dreams, thought I would lose my child.
What if Andrew heard it wrong? What if he made a mistake? I pulled back and looked up at Andrew. “Are you sure?”
A single tear rolled down his eye as he nodded. “Yes.” He swallowed. His face distorted with grief. “I’m sorry Mel. I…” His nostrils flared and he shook his head. I maintained my gaze locked with his, both our eyes were brimming with tears that were ready to tumble. I prayed that he’d say this was all a joke and that our baby was fine.
He didn’t.
Another ragged sob ripped through me. I held on to Andrew for strength. For support. For comfort. He was the only other person who understood how I felt because he felt it too. We stayed in the same position for a long while until I heard a light knock on the door. I cocked my head to see my parents walk in.
When I saw my mother, another wave of tears overwhelmed me. “Mama, my baby,” I wept, “my baby … my baby.”
She didn’t say anything and ran to me. Andrew gave her space and I cried even more. “You will be fine,” she whispered. “It will be all right.”
Once I was able to stop the tears, I moved away from my mother’s hold and sat up straight against the pillows behind my back.
“You should go.” Sniffing, I cleaned my tears. “I will be fine.” They all protested, but I was having none of it. “Please go! I need to be alone for a while. I need space.”
My parents were the first to leave, but Andrew was stubborn. “I can ask someone to bring me clean clothes. I don’t have to go. I don’t want to go.”
“Andrew, please I need a minute to myself. Go home, take a shower, eat something then come back. I’ll be right here.”
He hesitated but eventually agreed. Andrew kissed my forehead, each of my eyes, my nose, both of my cheeks before he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “I love you, Mel. These past hours have been hell for me. I realized, one more time, how much you mean to me. My life is meaningless without you. I know this isn’t the perfect moment but will you marry me? Be mine for the rest of our lives. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. You, Melissa Alford, are it for me.”
“Of course, I will. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to ask,” I teased, attempting to break through the tension. “Where’s my ring?”
Andrew looked down. So much pain admixed with his features. “Sorry, don’t have one. I didn’t plan this.”
“Okay then, one more reason for you to go and make sure it’s a really big ring because …”
“Because you’re awesome like that.”
“Exactly.”
Andrew kissed me again and headed out the door. When I heard the door close my entire body slumped and I sobbed again, my body jerked with my constant sniffle and gasps for air. Then I remember my last ultrasound and a river poured out of my eyes. The tears wouldn’t stop coming and I didn’t want to stop them. I needed to lessen the ache in my heart.
Oddly enough, I remembered Ashlyn and empathized with her. What if the pain never goes away? The loss was another crack at my shell and I was bleeding through them.
∞∞∞
“Wake up, Melissa,” a woman said, gently shaking me. “Time for your scan.”
I blinked my eyes open and a nurse was standing over me. She introduced herself as Brittany and helped me into a wheelchair she’d brought. She had to be in her mid-thirties. Her long, dark hair was held back in a ponytail.
“I’m sorry about your baby,” Nurse Brittany said. “You’re young and according to your charts, there was no permanent damage. You can try again anytime.”
I didn’t acknowledge her comment because trying again was the furthest thing from my mind. She squatted to settle my feet on the footplate and gazed up smiling.
“You’re very beautiful. I saw your parents earlier when they arrived and it’s true what they say—mixed raced couples do have the most beautiful children.”
I smiled weakly. “Thank you.” She stood and took out from the pocket of her uniform a syringe with a clear liquid.
I knitted my brows horrified and the nurse laughed. “It doesn’t hurt. It’s for the pain.”
She asked me to stretch my other arm that wasn’t connected to the IV. I closed my eyes and flinched, feeling the prick of the needle on my skin but it was over in an instant. I looked at my arm and there was a bandage where she in
jected me.
“See,” she patted my head as if speaking to a child. “That wasn’t so bad was it?”
I chuckled. “No, it wasn’t.”
The nurse came around and wheeled the chair out of the room.
Chapter 29
Andrew
The security guard stepped back and raised his hands. “Calm down, sir, we’ll find her.”
“Like hell, you will,” I growled. “She wasn’t supposed to be missing in the first place.”
I was only gone for thirty-eight minutes and Melissa had disappeared. Nurse Kelly, who was supposed to take her for the MRI, had found the room empty and no one had seen Melissa since.
“Sir—” The security started to speak, but I yanked him up by his collar. Every inch of my skin prickled with rage. Someone had to take responsibility for what was happening.
“Don’t fucking sir me, where is Melissa?” I screamed in his face. I clenched my jaw so tight, I thought my teeth would crack.
“Mr. Malcolm, please calm down,” said Dr. Whitman, chief of the hospital. “Violence will not help. We need to focus on finding her.” I heard her, but I wasn’t listening. I was on the edge of losing my mind. “Mr. Malcolm put him down.” Trembling, I let him go and he fixed his shirt, giving me a displeased look.
“Did you follow up with radiology?” Dr. Whitman asked Nurse Kelly.
“Yes, ma’am. She didn’t make it there.”
“Oh God,” I breathed, running my hands through my hair. “Oh, God. No! This can’t be happening.”
“Put the hospital on lockdown,” Dr. Whitman ordered, “the ER, including trauma, goes on bypass. Until further notice, no one comes in or out.”
“Don’t bother,” Ricky said, every head in the room turned to him. “She’s not in the hospital. You should see this.”
I sprinted to where Ricky was positioned with his computer, followed by everyone else in the room. He amplified an image from the security cam footage. It was Melissa.
