“I remember. That sucks, man. At least he had a long life.”
“Yeah. Right, that’s what everyone says. But here’s the thing. I can’t get it out of my head. Just the idea that he died because of me. If I hadn’t been blocked, I could have gotten to him, and I—”
“Dude, you were blocked by burning beams. What the hell are you talking about?”
“Thanks for the sympathy.” Cash took the stairs two at a time up to Siena’s apartment. “Listen, here’s the thing. It fucked with me, okay? I don’t like it and I don’t even understand it, but ever since, I’m taking risks, Duke. It totally fucked with my head. I’m doing shit I’d never do before, like leaving my partner behind and staying in after the evac call. Tommy and the guys covered for me at first, but they’re giving me shit, and the chief is, too.”
“That sucks, Cash. What do you think’s going on? PTSD?” Duke asked.
“Who the fuck knows? I talked to a therapist, but it didn’t help. Here’s the deal. I’m seeing this woman, and I’m not sure if I should tell her or not.” He sat on the top step outside Siena’s apartment and lowered his voice.
“Do you like her?”
“Yeah. A lot.”
“Then what’s the question? Honesty, man. You know that. Without that, you don’t have shit.”
Cash nodded and ran his hand through his hair. “Right. I know that. I just needed to hear it from someone else.”
“Anytime, bro. I need to run, but listen, if you want to talk about this, call me or come see me and we’ll try to figure it out. Part of me says just force yourself to stop taking risks—or pull out. You can’t put Tom and the other guys’ lives at risk. You know, face your fears and all that, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do or not. I’m just throwing it out there.”
He pictured Duke in his business suit and tie, his dirty-blond hair just mussed enough to add an edge to his otherwise pristine image. As a real estate investor, he spent his days negotiating and traveling and his nights in the arms of some of the most beautiful women in the world.
“Thanks, Duke. I appreciate it. Good luck at your meeting.”
“Luck? Skill, baby. Love ya, Cash. We’ll have to meet for a beer at some point, preferably when there’s not a snowstorm. Hey, that woman you rescued was okay, right?”
He thought of Siena, naked in his bed beneath him, his name on her lips as she came.
“Perfect.”
“You just gave away your hand, my friend.”
“Whatever. Go to your meeting. I have to get inside. Thanks, Duke.” He ended the call and stared at the door to Siena’s loft. He had to tell her, especially after the discussion they’d had in the shower. Just thinking about the shower aroused him. Christ. He had to get his emotions under control.
SIENA ANSWERED HER cell phone as she pulled a sweater over her head.
“Hi, Mom. What’s up?” She pulled on a pair of jeans and went to the bathroom to put on makeup.
“Hi, honey, I just wanted to see if you’d called Hal Braden yet about the pictures.”
Shit. She’d forgotten. “I had that date last night, and it slipped my mind. I’ll call after we hang up.” She leaned over the sink and applied a thin line of eyeliner.
“A date? Oh, I almost forgot.”
Sure you did.
“Did he pass your checklist?”
Siena heard the smile in her mother’s tone, and she pictured her lifting her eyebrows. “With flying colors.”
“Oh. Goodness.” Her mother paused. “So, you’ll see him again, then?”
“Yeah. We’re spending the day together today. Actually, I’m about to head out with him.” She heard the door to her apartment open, then close.
“I won’t keep you. Are you going to tell him about the date with that athlete?”
Siena’s stomach clenched again. “No.” She looked at herself in the mirror and watched her smile fade.
Her mother didn’t respond.
Damn it. She knew how her mother felt about honesty. She didn’t have the time—or the desire—to argue with her mother about her dating life. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about going out with Gunner, and talking about the situation only made her angrier.
“Mom?”
“Yeah. I’m here, honey. Okay, well, you know how to handle your affairs, so…”
Siena sighed. “Mom, it’s not like I enjoy keeping it from him. I want to tell him, and I know it’s the right thing to do, but I told Jewel I wouldn’t, and this isn’t a game. It’s my career.” She pulled her shoulders back and looked in the mirror. “I need to go. I’ll call Hal.” She ended the call and tried to separate herself from the guilt that gripped her. If her mother were there, she’d see the conflicting emotions in Siena’s eyes. She only hoped Cash couldn’t.
She found him standing by one of the windows.
“You don’t like curtains, huh?”
“You noticed.” She joined him and looked out over the streets below. The snow had nearly all melted, leaving the sidewalks and streets clear but wet. “I’ve always hated them, and no one can see in up here, so why block the light? I noticed that you had bedroom curtains, but I don’t remember seeing curtains in the rest of your apartment.”
“I hadn’t thought about it, but I guess you’re right. But I’m a guy. I always thought women liked their privacy.”
“I do, but I also like the light. No one can see in. My loft is too high.”
“Makes sense to me.” He put his hand on her lower back and kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful, and you smell delicious.”
His lips on her cheek and his low, sexy voice sent a shiver through her. “Thank you.” She hooked her finger in his jeans. “Before I forget, I have to make a call real quick. Do you mind? I can make it while we go.”
“No need. Go ahead and call and we’ll leave after you’re done.”
She walked to the kitchen as she scrolled through the numbers in her phone. She didn’t have Hal’s number, but she had Treat’s. He answered on the second ring.
“Siena Remington. How is my soon to be sister-in-law?” Treat was Savannah’s eldest brother. At six foot six with dark hair and darker eyes and a body that rivaled even Cash’s, he was quite a catch for his pregnant wife, Max. Max was beautiful in her own right, petite and dark haired, smart and strong willed. Siena was excited to become an official part of their family once Jack and Savannah married.
“I’m well, Treat. How are you? How’s Max feeling?” She sank into the couch.
“She’s feeling well, a little tired, but you know Max. She never stops moving.”
“Wonderful. Three more months until the baby’s due, right?” She watched Cash as he moved through her kitchen as if he lived there. He looked comfortable as he reached into the cabinet for a glass, then filled it with orange juice from the fridge.
He held up the glass and mouthed, Want some?
She shook her head and mouthed, No, thanks.
“Yes, three months. She’s really looking forward to Savannah’s bridal shower, and we’re all looking forward to seeing everyone.”
“That’s kind of why I’m calling. My mom and I want to put together a photo album of Jack and Savannah. Something that shows them through the years, sort of side by side. You know, like when Jack was in the army, it’ll have pics of Savannah doing whatever she was doing during those years, all the way up to now. I was going to call your dad, but I didn’t have his number.”
“That’s such a thoughtful gift. I can get you pictures. That’s what you need, right? Just tell me how many and I’ll send them out tomorrow.”
Treat was always generous and accommodating. It dawned on her that all of the Bradens were, Savannah and each of her five brothers. And of course their father, who had raised them alone after their mother passed away from cancer when Treat was only eleven.
“We don’t need too many. Maybe a few from each year? Do you think your dad will mind? I don’t want to take them if he’ll miss them.�
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Cash finished his juice and washed his glass in the sink, then dried it and put it back in the cabinet. Siena watched him with interest. How many men would be so thoughtful?
“He won’t mind one bit. You know my father. He lives and breathes for romance. Anything else you need?” Treat asked.
“Nope, that’ll do it. Thanks, Treat. Let me give you my address.” She gave him her address, and he said he would FedEx the pictures the next day. She ended the call and apologized to Cash.
“No need to apologize for a phone call. I was trying not to eavesdrop, but I heard something about a photo album. I’m making albums for Vetta.” He reached for her hand and helped her up from the couch.
“Really?”
“Yeah. She had this big box of photographs and they were all in envelopes. So I figured it was the least I could do.”
She noticed his jaw clench, his eyes narrow.
“I mean, putting them into albums would make it easier for her to look at them. I figured she would want to see her husband now that he was gone.”
She felt herself open up to him even more. “That’s the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever heard. How do you know her?”
He grabbed her coat from where it hung by the door and held it open for her, then helped her into it. “Her apartment was in a fire we handled.” He pulled on his coat and opened the door. “Have your purse? Keys? Gloves?”
She grabbed her purse from the coffee table, her gloves from her coat pocket, and she looked at him with her hand out for the keys. He placed them in her palm, and she pulled him down by the collar and kissed his lips. “Yes. Yes. Yes. See? I do listen.”
They walked down to the café where they’d had hot chocolate and ordered croissants and coffee, then ate them as they walked through the Village.
“At least it’s not freezing out today,” Siena said as they slowed to look into a store window.
Cash draped his arm around her neck and pulled her close. “I liked it when it was colder. Then you cuddled up to me.”
“I’m an expert at pretending.” She nuzzled against his side. Each time he pulled her close, she felt guiltier for not telling him about the date she was supposed to go on.
“So, tell me what I don’t know about Siena Remington,” Cash said as they walked down Fifth Avenue toward Washington Square Park.
“What you don’t know? Let’s see. You already know I can be a little stubborn, and you know I like hot chocolate, and about my family.”
“That’s all the first date stuff. I want to know about you. What do you love to do? What do you despise? What are you afraid of? What’s your favorite color?” He held her hand as they entered the park.
“That’s pretty easy. I love to dance, and I love to eat ice cream, even if it ends up all over my clothes. I like to shop, but I don’t really love it unless I’m doing it for someone else.” She breathed in deeply. “And I love this. Being here with you, without a plan.”
His eyes grew serious and he asked, “How do you know I didn’t plan this?”
“Did you?”
“No, but…”
“Ha! See, I knew. Oh, maybe you didn’t know that about me. I’m really intuitive.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder.
“Yeah, right. If you were intuitive, then you would have known I wasn’t bragging in the shower.” He pulled her close and wrapped his hands around her waist and gazed into her eyes.
“So I lied. I’m not that intuitive, but I knew you didn’t plan this.”
“You do know I wouldn’t brag about stuff like that, don’t you?”
The way he looked at her sucked her right in and sent desire rushing through her. His eyes locked on hers, filled with sincerity; his brows furrowed just a little.
“I do now,” she managed.
His lips met hers, and everything else faded away. The sound of the birds, the din of the other people in the park, the noises from the cars on the road. It was just the two of them, his tongue caressing every part of her mouth as if he were memorizing it. His lips pressed firmly against hers, the peppering of stubble scratching lightly against her upper lip.
When they drew apart, it took a minute for Siena to catch her breath. She didn’t have long to figure out how to breathe again before Cash was dragging her over to the area where people played chess in the park. They walked hand in hand behind the tables. Cash scrutinized each one. Siena loved watching the competitions. She always had. There was such rich diversity among the players. She loved watching an older African American man playing with a twenty-something guy who dressed like Eminem, and a middle-aged Rastafarian playing against a gray-haired older man with a beard that touched his protruding stomach. Later in the afternoon, the older crowd would be joined by higher-thinking school children trying to show their skills.
Cash stopped beside a table. “What’s it cost to play?”
“Play?” Siena watched the bald African American gentleman scrutinize the board. His eyes darted from one spot to the next. The man he played against looked homeless. He wore three old, wrinkled coats, one atop the other. His brown beard and hair were a scraggly mess, and his hands looked like they were stained with dirt.
The bald man eyed Cash, then Siena. The edges of his lips curled up. “Two bucks.”
Cash pulled out his wallet and set two dollars on the side of the board.
“You’re going to play?” she asked.
He draped an arm over her shoulder and held her close. “Nope. You are.” He didn’t look at her. He watched the game unfolding before them, studying every move.
She stepped out from under his arm. “What? No way. I hardly know how to play.” She’d played chess with her brothers when they were younger and she’d lost every time. Strategy games were not her forte. “Scrabble or Boggle—those I can play, but chess? I’ll lose your money faster than you can say…oops.”
His eyes shot to her, another firm look. “It’s worth it.”
She tugged his hand and stepped away from the table, sensing the eyes of the players on them. “I can’t play. I seriously suck,” she whispered.
“Don’t give me that pouty look. You know it kills me.”
Good to know. She honed it a tad, sticking out her lower lip a little farther and drawing her eyebrows together.
He kissed her forehead and shook his head. “You also said you couldn’t skate, but you could. One game. That’s it. Just one.”
“But—”
“For me?” He took both of her hands in his and stuck out his lower lip.
She laughed. “You need to work on that pout. Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll show you how to do it someday.” God, she loved how he pushed her. Even though she knew she’d lose, she felt the competition he’d sparked, and he gave her just enough of a doubt in her own belief that she sucked that she accepted the challenge. “Fine. One game. For you.”
He pulled her close again.
“But don’t think I’m going to enjoy it.” She turned back to the game, suppressing a smile, and studied the board. It had been so long since she’d played that she hardly remembered how each piece was allowed to move. As she watched the two men near the end of their game, it came back to her. And she also remembered how it felt to lose. This was not going to be fun, but at least it would be over quickly. Another Band-Aid. She looked up at the smile on Cash’s lips and wondered why he liked to challenge her. Her next thought was that she hated that their afternoon was passing by so quickly.
The man with the layered coats lost the game and relinquished his bench to Siena. Her leg bounced a mile a minute beneath the table. She was suddenly chilled, and she put her hands in her pockets and rounded her shoulders forward.
“I’m Siena.”
The bald man nodded and moved a pawn. “Frank.”
She smiled. “Hi, Frank. Oh, my turn. Sorry.” She had no idea where to move. She moved the same piece of hers that Frank had.
Cash stood behind Siena and settled his hand on her shoulder. The intimat
e, strong touch helped to ease her nerves.
They took their turns in silence, though it was killing Siena not to talk. She knew better than to talk through a game of chess in the park. Everyone knew better than to do that. These players were competitive, which was precisely why she had no business playing with them.
Cash leaned down and whispered against her ear, “You’re doing great,” before kissing her just below her earlobe, which Siena found terribly, excitingly, distracting.
When their game was almost over, Cash set down two more dollar bills on the side of the table.
Siena looked up at him. “I’m not playing again. I’ve lost this game in less than five minutes.”
He was looking so intently at the chess table that she wasn’t sure he’d heard her until he squeezed her shoulder again.
“Are you going to play?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’ll give it a shot.”
Frank lifted his eyes to Cash, and Cash smiled. “If you don’t mind. I mean, I’m not much better than her, but I can’t really ask her to put herself out there without being willing to put myself in the same position.” He shrugged.
Frank nodded.
Three moves later, Siena lost the game. She let out a breath, relieved to be out from under the pressure of it, even if it had lasted only a few minutes.
“Okay, you’re in the hot seat, Cash.” She stood beside the bench where Cash sat and watched as the two men leaned over the board and began playing. Cash took less than three seconds to decide on his moves, while Frank studied the board a little longer, lifting his eyes every few seconds to glance at Cash.
Siena ran her hand along the back of Cash’s neck, then rubbed the tension she felt there. Not a word passed between the men. Cash sat with one hand on his thigh, elbow out, the other on the edge of the table. He was taking Frank’s pieces, so he must be doing well, though Siena thought Frank was taking a lot of Cash’s pieces, too.
Cash wrapped his arm around Siena’s legs and ran his hand down her hip while his eyes remained trained on the board. She hadn’t seen Cash so intent on anything other than her body, and the memory made her shudder. She loved seeing this side of him, knowing his mind was strategizing, calculating, and also knowing that somewhere in that mind of his he was thinking about her at the same time. His intensity made him even sexier. Everything makes you sexy.
Flames of Love Page 14
