Shiva XIV

by Lyra Shanti

  Before he knew it, the ride was over. Soon they were walking into the heart of the city, and this time, the merchants in the shops didn't scare Ayn like before. He and Zin passed by the music shop that Luc's sister, Velna, owned, and for a moment, it seemed to Ayn that Zin wanted to stop inside. He resisted, however, as they continued walking to Luc's club.

  When they got to Luc's, Ayn's feet really hurt. He wondered why Zin had rejected his suggestion of taking a public hover-car when they were at the Chord Station, though he had a feeling it had something to do with Zin not wanting to spend the money. Being that Ayn had been raised unaware of the material world and didn't really understand the whole system of money to begin with, he kept quiet about it. Walking, however, was not Ayn's first choice of transportation, and he planned on doing the least amount of it when they finally did reach Kri.

  Much like the previous night, Ayn sat down at a table near the stage and watched Zin perform alongside the beautiful and mysterious Lady Raven. With her long, silky black hair and her soft, black wings, she intoxicated everyone in the room. It was an effect she seemed to have every time Ayn saw her perform, especially on the men, some of whom he recognized from the night before. Clearly Lady Raven had a following.

  Zin was truly in his element, closing his eyes while fingering the elenon, as if he were making love to the instrument. Watching the way Lady Raven responded to Zin made Ayn slightly angry, yet he had no idea why. He wondered if it was because he was used to being the center of Zin's attention, but it didn't quite feel like that.

  Sipping his paya-na fruit drink, Ayn tried to dig deeper into his emotions to find the answer. The only thing he could come up with was that he wished he himself could be like Zin: graceful with music, charismatic, and flirtatious with women. Ayn’s whole life, he fantasized about being a romantic, heroic figure from an ancient love story. In reality, he was only ever fated to become The Bodanya. It was something he was proud of, but his destiny did not seem to match who he felt he was inside – just like the paradox of his body.

  Becoming moody and melancholy, Ayn ate his dinner. Instead of MahMah stew, he chose to have something different. It was a vegetable based steak bathed in an unfamiliar, yet sweet glaze. Ayn thought it was rather excellent, and he had to hand it to Luc; not only did Luc’s lounge present great entertainment, but it had some of the best food Ayn had ever tasted.

  Shortly after their last song ended, Zin and Lady Raven joined Ayn at his table. Zin held the chair out for her, and then sat down next to Ayn. Introductions were made, and even though Ayn was nervous, he couldn't help but be fascinated by Lady Raven's every word and movement. She was so very different from any woman he had seen growing up at The Dei's temple. She was beautiful and glamorous, and reminded him a little of his mother, which saddened, yet warmed his soul.

  Ayn watched Lady Raven as she pulled out a long, fancy looking smoking pipe. She then elegantly lit the end of it with an oval, red lighter. She completely fascinated Ayn, but when she looked at him and smiled, he quickly looked away, turning almost as red as her lighter.

  “I've got good news, Ayn,” said Zin, wiping the beads of sweat that had formed on his brow while playing his elenon. “I talked with Luc right before going on stage, and he said he'd be willing to give me half of my earnings tonight and the other half by the end of the week.”

  Expressionless, Ayn shrugged and returned to eating his vegetarian steak. Zin hated when Ayn did the silent routine, but he figured Ayn was just being moody about the ship being stolen. “Oh,” added Zin, “and Luc also said there is an opening for a bus boy, if you want the job.”

  Slowly, Ayn's head rose to look at Zin. His expressionless face turned to one of bewildered disgust.

  “Or... maybe not,” said Zin, grinning.

  “Ayn... That's your name, isn't it?” Lady Raven said through an exhale of smoke. Ayn nodded nervously in response, noting right away how smooth and silky her speaking voice sounded – much like her singing one. “Well, Ayn, do you have any talents? Perhaps you could join Zin and I on stage.”

  Vigorously shaking his head from side to side, Ayn blushed. “No, Lady Raven,” he shyly replied, “I could never do that.”

  “Why not?” she asked him.

  Ayn didn't know how to respond. Her deep, burgundy-colored eyes made him want to tell her anything she wanted to know, but he was well aware that he couldn't freely talk to her, or anyone for that matter - certainly not about anything too personal for fear they might realize he was actually The Bodanya. Ayn knew there were unsavory people on Xen, not just from Zin's description, but from his own gut instinct, and he didn't want to divulge too much to the wrong person. He decided to act like he didn't understand the question. He shrugged, and then went back to eating his food.

  “Ayn,” said Zin, “I'm just going to go speak with Luc for a moment about my payment, and then I'll be right back. You'll be alright, won't you?”

  Shooting Zin a look of desperation, Ayn quickly shook his head, silently begging him to stay.

  “Don't worry, Zin,” said Lady Raven with a gentle smile. “I'll keep your friend company.”

  As Zin got up to leave the table, Ayn found himself alone with the most beautiful woman in the room. He didn't know what to say or do, so he sat still, looking off to the side, fidgeting with his napkin.

  Even with his head turned away, he could still feel her burgundy eyes staring at him. Ayn didn't know whether Lady Raven was just curious about him or if she thought him strange, or worse, if she somehow recognized him from the news.

  Taking a deep breath and gathering his strength, Ayn turned to face her. He found her smiling at him as she delicately took a sip from her fruit cocktail.

  “How old are you, Ayn?” she asked, still smiling.

  “Four- er, I mean... sixteen,” he replied, sweaty-palmed.

  Grinning and clearly amused, Lady Raven took another sip from her drink. “Sixteen, huh?” she said. “You look quite handsome and manly for your age.”

  Ayn immediately blushed as red as a rose. “Stop,” he protested, suppressing an embarrassed giggle, “you're just teasing me.”

  “No, my dear boy,” said Lady Raven, “I meant what I said. If only I was ten years younger. You and Zin are both delectable.”

  Ayn was now squirming. He nervously smiled, and then gulped down his drink, silently praying to The Great Adin for guidance.

  Finally, after what seemed to Ayn like an eternity, Zin returned to the table with a big smile on his face. He was holding a card of some sort in his right hand, and Ayn had a feeling that Luc had paid him in credit.

  “Did you miss me?” teased Zin.

  “More than either of us could bear,” replied Lady Raven, smirking at Ayn.

  This kind of flirtatious banter was entirely foreign to Ayn, and he wished someone would just say what they actually meant for at least five minutes – just long enough for him to regain his equilibrium.

  Unfortunately, the two of them continued their flirty exchange for far longer than five minutes. After Zin had eaten a hearty meal of Zeewah flank and sauteed Ohrian root vegetables, he and Lady Raven had conversed about their favorite music, instruments, and contemporary singers – all of which Ayn was sadly lacking knowledge.

  “Can we go now?” asked Ayn abruptly.

  Zin and Lady Raven stopped mid-conversation and looked at Ayn.

  “Sorry,” said Ayn, embarrassed, “I would like to leave now, if that's alright. I'm very tired.”

  Zin cracked a smile, half amused and half annoyed. He turned to the elegant Lady Raven and kissed her hand. “I'm sorry, my dear,” said Zin, “but we'll have to carry on this fine conversation some other night. It seems my friend is rather spent, and I must help him find lodgings for the evening. Perhaps we might continue our extremely enjoyable discussion in private sometime later, say, tomorrow night... over dinner?”

  “Wow, thought Ayn. How did Zin learn to be such a smooth talker with women?

  Lady Rave
n subtly smiled and nodded at Zin with restrained approval. Both young men understood that her body language meant they should play their cards right when dealing with such a fine, sophisticated woman.

  Walking to The Blue Wave Hotel - the same hotel they had stayed the night before - Ayn marveled at how easily Zin charmed Lady Raven with his romantic words and demeanor. He wanted to ask Zin how he did it, but felt too embarrassed to even approach the subject. Zin, however, could feel his soul-friend's eyes upon him, and he had a feeling Ayn desperately wanted to talk about something.

  “What's on your mind?” asked Zin as they walked, dragging their rolling suitcases behind them.

  Ayn shrugged, trying to act as if nothing was bothering him.

  “Come on, Ayn, you've been much too quiet,” prodded Zin, “and that's not like you. Are you angry with me?”

  “No,” Ayn replied.

  Zin looked at his uncharacteristically quiet friend, and then stopped walking. “Ayn, is this about the ship being stolen?” he asked. “If so, I promise I'll get us a new one as soon as I've made enough money. Then, you can go to Kri and be The Bodanya thing... and I'll no longer be a burden to you, I promise.”

  Ayn stopped walking and looked at Zin, annoyed. “You're not a burden,” he said, frowning. “I just... I sometimes feel... I mean...”

  “What? Just spit it out,” Zin interjected, agitated and tired.

  Ayn took a deep breath and tried to focus his jumbled-up thoughts.

  “Well, it's just... how are you so good with girls, I mean, women?”

  “Women?” asked Zin, confused. “All your pouting and silence is about... women?”

  At first, Zin stood still, a little stunned. Finally, he burst into laughter. Ayn didn't like the idea that his friend was laughing at him for something he was so sensitive about. He folded his arms in brooding protest.

  “This isn't funny,” said Ayn.

  “No,” said Zin, suppressing his giggle fit, “of course not.”

  “You're being rude,” Ayn replied, pouting with knotted brow.

  Calming down, Zin shook his head and took out a long smoking pipe. He then lit it with an oval plasma-lighter, much like the one Lady Raven had. He took a small puff, then held it in his mouth for a moment. “Oh Ayn,” he said as he exhaled, “you're so funny sometimes.”

  Ayn failed to see the humor in what he said. He also didn't like the idea that Zin was now smoking a pipe.

  “Where did you get that... thing?” asked Ayn.

  “Lady Raven gave it to me,” replied Zin

  “I thought so.”

  “You don't like her, do you?”

  Ayn was starting to get more annoyed.

  “I like her quite a lot, actually!” Ayn defended.

  Zin's face slowly changed from skeptical to illuminated. “Oh!” said Zin, “You like her! You little devil!”

  Ayn shook his head and tried to repudiate Zin's claim, but all that came out of his mouth was a small giggle through a red face of embarrassment.

  “You do! You like her!”

  “No!” Ayn shouted with a wide, irrepressible grin.

  Zin smiled in return. “Oh, Ayn, it's alright. Just admit it. She's very beautiful.”

  “Well, yes... I admit that she is indeed rather beautiful,” Ayn said bashfully, “but that doesn't mean I like her… like that.”

  Zin smirked at Ayn with a doubtful eye, then slung his bag over his shoulder as he continued walking, dragging his suitcase behind him. Ayn quickly responded by grabbing his own suitcase, running up to walk by Zin's side.

  “Why are you asking me about women if you're not attracted to Lady Raven?”

  “I didn't say I wasn't attracted to her,” Ayn mumbled under his breath.

  “To be honest,” Zin added, “I'm surprised you even noticed. Most of the time you seem so... oblivious.”

  Ayn looked at Zin, confused and slightly offended. “What do you mean 'oblivious?' I am The Bodanya! I'm never unaware of anything!”

  “Shh, Ayn,” said Zin with a slight laugh, “don't say that so loudly, and don't get so upset. I didn't mean you were oblivious about normal, everyday things or even about the universe. I meant about... love or sex. It just didn’t seem like something you were interested in.”

  Ayn didn't know what to say or how to respond. Did Zin really think he had no interest in love? Ayn couldn't believe that someone who seemed able to feel his feelings so easily wouldn't realize how often he had thought about love.

  “I'll have you know,” Ayn rebutted, “I have many times fantasized about the romantic stories I've read involving the Gods and Goddesses of heaven, especially between The Great Adin and his most beloved consort, Sri Unda!”

  Zin snickered and said, “Oh you have, have you?”

  “Yes I have!”

  “How often have you... fantasized?” Zin said through a giggle. “How many times a day, Ayn?”

  “I... I don't know. Why?”

  Zin laughed, trying to stop himself from further teasing his naive friend.

  “What's so funny?” Ayn innocently prodded Zin.

  “Nothing,” Zin replied, “I just hope you're not making the Gods in heaven go blind with how many times you fantasize about them each day.” Zin couldn't help but giggle even more.

  Ayn didn't get his joke, but he could sense Zin was teasing him. The stories about the heavens of Deius meant a great deal to Ayn, and he wished Zin was taking it more seriously.

  “Wait a minute,” said Zin. “Wasn't Sri Unda the scientist who discovered plasma?”

  “Yes, she was,” replied Ayn, matter of fact.

  “Well,” said Zin, “correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't your religion look down on science and even blame it for the inconsistencies of The Un?”

  “Not really,” said Ayn with a shrug.

  “What do you mean?” Zin asked. “I thought being anti-science was the main reason The Tah rebelled in the first place, and ultimately, why our two home planets have been at odds so often throughout history?”

  “That might be true about our planets,” said Ayn, “but it is untrue to say that my people's religion is based on distrust of science. We more so believe spirituality is the driving force behind all sciences.”

  “Yes, well,” said Zin, “same thing really.”

  “No, it's not,” Ayn quipped.

  Zin laughed and said, “Alright, you win... as usual. I have to address your claim, though, that Sri Unda was Adin's consort. That's just impossible, considering Sri Unda was a real person in history, and Adin was most likely just a mythic legend - made up to soothe your people's hope for a savior.”

  Ayn stopped walking, then crossed his arms and looked at Zin with an angered face.

  “Oh come on, Ayn,” said Zin, “just admit that your people made up most of what is in your holy books. For example, there is no way 'The Great Adin' crossed The Un when he died, and then magically came back the next morning, fully alive and healthy! That's just ridiculous and completely unscientific!”

  “Clearly you do not understand the meaning of symbolism,” said Ayn, stoic and deadpan.

  Zin shook his head and angrily replied, “Yes, I understand symbolism, Ayn, but your people take it all as if it's fact! That's why they've now got The Tah at their heels.”

  Ayn cringed at Zin's second mention of the ones who murdered his beloved teacher. “Please stop saying their name,” he said, frowning at Zin.

  “I'm sorry,” Zin said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look... let's not argue about any of this. The fact of the matter is there is no historical evidence or documentation that suggests Sri Unda was Adin's lover. I don't know where you're getting that. Did you read that in some ancient scroll somewhere?”

  “No,” said Ayn sheepishly. “Well, yes, but... even if I hadn’t, I feel it to be true!”

  “You feel it?” teased Zin. “You're basing all this on your... feelings?” Zin snickered, then shook his head.

  “Actually,” said Ayn, “i
t is a little known fact that Adin was a co-writer of the sacred book called 'The Pure Light of The Un.' Having written it with Sri Unda, they wrote the scientific, yet spiritual book that would define and shape the way all people everywhere imagined The Un's creating force.”

  Zin looked at Ayn intensely. It was times like these he felt he didn't really know who Ayn was. Half the time, his friend acted like an innocent child, always in wonderment about everything and teetering on the edge of an emotional breakdown. The other half of the time, Ayn seemed to Zin as if he were some sort of ancient, wise priest from long ago, channeling through a boy's body.

  Zin shook his head and rubbed his eyes. His thoughts felt muddy, making him feel too stupid for such a heady conversation. Zin figured it was due to lack of sleep and walking all day. Looking around, Zin realized they had taken a wrong turn somewhere; The Blue Wave Hotel was nowhere to be found.

  “Ayn...”

  “Yeah?

  “Where are we?”

  “Um... I don't know.”

  The young men giggled at their own foolishness. “I guess we shouldn't talk and walk at the same time,” said Ayn, still giggling.

  “Yeah,” Zin replied, smiling, “especially not at night time. I can't see very well, to be honest.”

  “Really?” said Ayn. “That's strange. I thought Ohrians had excellent vision.”

  “Not me,” Zin said with a slight grimace. “I have terrible eyesight actually. I can't see objects that are far away or at night, for that matter. It started when I was about seven years old. Father wanted me to have an operation, but I refused. I didn’t want plasma in my eyes! That stuff has been overused, in my opinion, and the last thing I want is to die before I even... um, well, you know... fully become a man.”

  Ayn laughed and nodded, understanding what Zin meant.

  “Anyway,” Zin continued, “the only other option given to me was the use of lenses, which are specially made on Kri. They work wonders, actually, and unlike plasma-based lenses, they're all natural, though they do wear out easily. My last pair was on the ship... so I have to admit, I'm a bit blind right now.”