by Linda Huber
Amanda had a brief moment of panic – was she supposed to have heard? No, she’d just got back, hadn’t she? ‘What happened?’
‘Dropped dead at the back door yesterday. They got help straightaway, but it was too late. Poor Ella’s distraught, I hear.’
There was something unattractive about the way the woman was so avid to pass on the little sensation.
Amanda put her purse away. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Um, I don’t want Jaden to hear… See you again.’
She passed Cedar Road on the way home. Now that she’d been told the terrible news, she should go by and offer her condolences, shouldn’t she? She turned the buggy and continued towards Rick’s house. Rick’s home, to be strictly accurate.
The garden was deserted and Amanda strode up the path with the buggy. She could offer to babysit, too. She wasn’t supposed to know that Rick and Soraya were away, and this way she might find out where they were.
Ella was pale, and guilt washed through Amanda. Poor soul, she had lost her father and soon she would lose her husband too. Stammering, she made her condolences and asked if she could help with Soraya. There was a long pause while Ella fumbled with a tissue, and Amanda felt more and more uncomfortable. This was horrible.
‘Soraya’s away with her dad for – for a bit,’ said Ella at last, wiping her eyes. ‘It’s better for her; my mother’s still here and of course she’s terribly upset.’
‘I can imagine. Are they nearby? And – is there anything I can do, Ella? Shopping or something? Shall I call you tomorrow morning before I go to the supermarket?
Ella appeared to pull herself together. ‘Oh yes please, Amanda. That would be so helpful. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’
There was no way Amanda could think of to prolong the conversation, and she didn’t like to ask about Rick and Soraya again. She would try calling him later when Soraya would be asleep.
Thinking about Ella’s dead father was a horrible reminder of her own dead husband and Amanda blinked back tears. Gareth had died, just like that, in a stupid, fluke accident, and here was another unexpected death. There was no guarantee of tomorrow for anyone. Imagine if she lost Rick too… but she didn’t even have him yet, not really.
She was walking down the hill, hunched over the buggy to hide the tears, when a dull knock inside her abdomen jerked Amanda upright. Her baby – her baby had moved! She massaged firmly and was rewarded by another knock from within. Wow. How – how brilliant. Her baby was helping her at exactly the right time. That would be something very positive to tell Rick when she called. His baby was kicking. Amanda shivered in delight.
Chapter Eight
Thursday 31st July
Ella put the house phone down. Thank you, thank you. Life was maybe sheer and bloody hell, but people were helping. She went through to the living room where her mother was slumped in an armchair, an untouched cup of coffee by her side. Poor Mum – she was a broken woman.
‘That was Mary on the phone, Mum. She wants to take you to stay with her for a few days. I think you should go – it would be easier for you. It’ll be hectic here when Rick and Soraya are back.’
Dread – and anger too – pulled at Ella’s middle as she spoke. She still had no idea when Rick was planning on coming home. They’d spoken twice on the phone and he’d answered two of her texts, but all she could glean was Soraya was well and they were ‘at the beach’ – which could be anywhere. And he’d refused point-blank to come home while June was still there. It was so unfair of him to keep her and Soraya apart but with her mother to look after there was a limit to what Ella could do about it.
June’s expression couldn’t have been more listless. ‘All right. Whatever’s easiest. Once I have the ashes I’ll think about getting back home.’
Ella sat on the arm of her mother’s chair and rubbed the hunched shoulders. ‘Take your time. You don’t need to rush into anything.’
It was so hard. Her father, who had been so full of life and enthusiasm, would soon be reduced to ‘the ashes’. Never again would she visit ‘Mum and Dad’, and Soraya’s memories of her grandfather would be sparse at best. It was heart-breaking.
But oh, the biggest question of all, the one that had sick dread pulling at her middle, overpowering the grief – was the adoption going to work out? Rick was having an affair, and if he’d taken Soraya to be with his mistress Ella knew she would never forgive him. She wiped her eyes on the tea towel and tossed it into the washing machine. Everything was out of control – she didn’t know where her child was, her husband was having an affair, and her father was dead. And the adoption agency was clueless about what was going on. What would they do if they found out?
Her mobile vibrated and Ella grabbed it, disappointment spearing into her when she saw Amanda’s name on the screen and not Rick’s. Still, Amanda was proving a good friend, saving her from the eyes in the supermarket like this. Eyes staring at the woman whose father died on the kitchen doorstep. Amanda knew what it was like to face those eyes, and it was kind of her to spare Ella the horror.
The shopping list was on the kitchen table, and Ella sat down to pass it on, trying to sound positive. ‘You’ll come in for a coffee when you get back, won’t you?’
Amanda accepted, and Ella went upstairs where June was packing. She was struck, horribly, by how frail her mother looked. Death did that to you. Only now could Ella appreciate how brave Amanda had been – and still was – getting through her own tragedy with a little one to support and another on the way.
Mary arrived and Ella was glad to see a little more colour come into her mother’s face as the cousins loaded June’s things into the car. It would be good for Mum to be with someone of her own generation, someone who had known her all her life. And with Mum at Mary’s, Ella would be able to concentrate on Rick, and getting Soraya home again.
She stood in the front door as Mary drove off, then turned back into the hallway and stopped. Not a sound, nothing moving, silence everywhere. Surely it had never been this quiet before? Or was it that after just a few short weeks of having a lively, quirky six-year-old to laugh with, she wasn’t used to hearing nothing in her home? Ella closed her eyes against burning tears. How very much she missed Soraya; more than she missed her father, if she were honest. But this was the time to be active and get her girl back.
Pulling out her phone, Ella texted Rick. Mum gone to Mary’s, please come home. She waited a few minutes, but no answer came and she bit her lip. Rick’s behaviour was beyond that of a man in shock after witnessing a sudden death. Was she doing the right thing, not telling Liz that she didn’t know where Soraya was? What Rick was doing almost amounted to abduction – and it wasn’t the first time.
The doorbell rang and Ella flew to answer it, but it was Amanda with her shopping.
Jaden ran straight through to the living room. ‘So-so-so!’
‘I don’t think she’s here today, sweetie,’ said Amanda, depositing a supermarket carrier on the table.
Ella swallowed. ‘No, she’s not. Look, Jaden – biscuits.’
He ran back and accepted a chocolate digestive. Amanda took him on her knee while Ella made coffee, feeling a strangely awkward silence fall. Amanda was cuddling Jaden, staring round the kitchen, not meeting Ella’s eyes.
Eventually she spoke. ‘How’s it going, Ella?’
‘Oh, Amanda, I don’t know what to do!’ It was out before she’d thought, a real plea from the heart, and Ella didn’t miss the apprehensive expression that crossed Amanda’s face. It wasn’t fair, this woman’s loss was so much greater than her own – she must be in bits still too.
‘What is it?’
Ella clasped her hands together. ‘Rick’s having an affair and I don’t even know where he’s taken Soraya. He’s in a terrible state with Dad dying like that. I don’t know if I should contact the adoption people or the police or what.’
As soon as the words were out she wished them back; confidences like this didn’t belong in her relationship with Amanda.
But Amanda would understand. She was grieving too, and she was a mother.
Amanda’s face was horrified. ‘Oh no. Surely he’ll be back soon, Ella. Have you heard from him since he left?’
‘A couple of texts and calls. He’s done this before – driven off somewhere with Soraya to get back at me after a row, but he’s never been away this long. I think I should tell someone.’
‘Oh, Ella, that would mean police and heaven knows what. I would wait another day, I really would. Now your mum’s gone he might feel able to come back.’
Ella sat making crumbs with her biscuit. It was what she wanted to think too. She came to a decision. ‘I’ll text him again and tell him I’ll call later and he should answer it. Then if I don’t get hold of him I’ll get in touch with our adoption worker.’
Amanda leaned across the table. ‘But that might mean – they might cancel the adoption or something. Or delay it, anyway. I think you should wait until you’ve been able to talk properly to Rick – I’m sure you’re worrying about nothing. It’s, um, I mean – after a death in the family people don’t react the way they usually do.’
She was right, thought Ella. Maybe she should give Rick until tomorrow to come home. He might even think he was being helpful, staying out of her hair like this.
Ella stood at the window as Amanda loaded Jaden into her car then sat manipulating her phone for a minute before driving off. Everyone was so accessible nowadays. With a push of a few buttons you could contact anyone, anywhere – yet she was struggling to get hold of her husband. She sat on the sofa to text. Will phone later, please answer. Am worried about Soraya. Don’t want to involve Liz or the police. Please.
And now – there was nothing more she could do. Grimly, Ella put the coffee mugs into the dishwasher and was wiping Jaden’s chocolate smear from the table when her phone rang. Her heart leapt; it was him, oh thank heavens, it was Rick. Her hands were shaking so hard she could barely take the call.
‘Rick! Is everything okay?’
His voice was low but he sounded more or less normal. ‘Everything’s fine. Don’t worry, Ella. We’ll be back tomorrow morning, and I want you and Soraya to move out.’
‘Let me speak to her, Rick, please.’ How awful this was, she was begging to speak to her own child.
‘She’s in the bathroom. We’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘Where are - ’
The connection was dead. Ella stood leaning on the table, panting. They were coming home, and she would do anything he wanted if they just came home. Rick was clearly still upset, but it was going to be all right, oh please, it must be all right.
Chapter Nine
Thursday 31st July
Rick tossed his phone on the bed. Good job Amanda had warned him. The call to Ella hadn’t been easy, but it was done and all things considered it had gone well. He should never have gone off with Soraya again – but it was the one way to make Ella cooperate. A few days without Soraya meant his wife would do as he wanted, and Mary’d made it all too easy for him to leave. He’d been fleeing the repercussions of Steve’s death and the look on Ella’s face when she yelled at him for not helping. And the frustration, and the anger, and the pain – his head was buzzing with pain.
And of course he should have helped Steve the moment he collapsed and not – what? Five, ten minutes later? Now Steve was dead and if the police started sniffing around they would find Gareth – or what was left of him.
If his hand was almost skeletal, what did Gareth’s face look like, with those empty grey eyes? Rick’s stomach heaved.
Relax, hissed the calm part of his brain. Even if the hospital did a post-mortem on Steve, surely they would never notice that five minutes had passed before anyone started CPR. He was worrying about nothing. But he didn’t know, that was the problem. And – how had he turned into some kind of adulterous mass-murderer? His brain shied away from the thought of first Gareth and now Steve… It was incomprehensible.
He glanced at Soraya, prone on her bed, colouring in with a glum face. They were in a B&B near Penzance, and as the weather had turned wet again they were stuck indoors in this crappy little bedroom that didn’t even have an en suite. After just five minutes in the guest sitting room this morning the landlady came in for a chat, and that was the last thing he needed. God knows what Soraya would say if anyone started asking her questions. She wasn’t happy, that was clear – it was ‘When are we going home to Mummy?’ every five minutes. And he couldn’t think straight because his brain was buzzing. Maybe a call to Amanda would help.
‘I’m going to the bathroom. I won’t be a minute,’ he said, and Soraya gaped at him speechlessly.
Amanda answered her phone on the first ring. ‘Rick, where are you? What are you playing at?’
‘I’m trying to keep my head above water, what do you think? I have to get Ella to cooperate and she will, this way. But she mustn’t go to the authorities. If the police start sniffing around they might find Gareth.’
He heard her intake of breath. Shit. That was a mistake. She didn’t know where Gareth was any more than the police did.
‘Rick, the reason Ella’s thinking about contacting anyone is because you’ve done a disappearing act with Soraya. Get her back home and everything’s fine. Should I talk to Ella?’
‘I called her. I said we’d be back tomorrow.’
‘Good.’ Silence. She was obviously mulling something over, and he waited. ‘Rick… what did you do with Gareth?’
Her voice was almost a whisper and he wondered if she was worried about someone hearing. But a sound from the corridor told Rick he was the one being overheard. He jerked the bathroom door open and Soraya looked up at him, her little face dreary. He clicked his phone off.
‘What are you doing? Are we going home to Mummy now?’ Her voice was afraid and he made an effort to pull himself together.
‘It’s some work I have to organise. We’re going home tomorrow, so let’s get you bathed and your hair washed for Mummy, shall we?’
She rose to the bait and was soon splashing in warm soapy water. Rick retreated to the corridor and called Amanda again. No way did he want her ‘talking’ to Ella.
‘Listen. I need to persuade Ella to let me have the house. If she thinks it means she’ll get her precious daughter back, she’ll do it. But you keep out of this, Amanda.’
He switched off and was listening to Soraya in the bath when a disturbing thought came to mind. Sweat broke out on his forehead. Amanda wasn’t stupid. And he had just told her, in almost as many words, that Gareth was somewhere in or around the house.
Part Four
End Game
Chapter One
Friday 1st August
It was eleven-thirty and there was still no sign of Rick and Soraya. Ella tried to keep busy, but the apprehension that had her firmly in its grasp had long since turned to fear. But he would come – he would come. He’d said ‘tomorrow morning’. At quarter to twelve she gave up reorganising the cutlery drawer and stood at the living room window, watching for the car. It was typical of the new Rick that he was making her wait.
Minutes ticked by and at five to Ella allowed herself to formulate the thought that was lurking ever closer – what if he didn’t come? What if he’d just said he would to keep her out of his hair? And how pathetic it was that she’d been reduced to this, a frightened woman waiting for her husband, helpless to do anything to bring her child home.
At five past she turned away, sick at heart. Oh, he could have been delayed for any number of reasons… traffic, Soraya playing up, a queue at the petrol station… but somehow she didn’t think so. She would give him until one and then call him, but there was nothing to say he’d answer his wretched phone, was there? And now she needed a coffee like never before.
Soraya’s butterfly mug in the cupboard brought tears to Ella’s eyes, but she blinked them away with grim determination. She was not going to let Rick win here. A call was maybe too easy for him to ignore – she would text him that
if he didn’t appear within the next couple of hours, she’d report it to Liz… who would involve the police. But if that happened Soraya might be sent straight back to Mel when she was found. It was the perfect Catch 22 situation. Ella hugged the mug to her chest, her courage deserting her. This was horrendous – she could do nothing to find her girl.
The ringing of the doorbell had her heart rate soaring, but a glance outside revealed Amanda on the doorstep. Bless her, thought Ella as she trailed through to the hallway. She knows how tough this is and she’s doing her best to be supportive.
The younger woman gave her a quick smile. ‘Hi. I was passing and saw the car wasn’t here. Is Rick -?’
‘Heaven alone knows where. I can’t believe he’s doing this.’ Ella stood to the side. ‘Come in and have a coffee. Where’s Jaden?’
‘He’s with a friend today. We alternate with the kids once a week.’
Silence fell as they sat at the kitchen table, steaming mugs in front of them.
Ella broke it. ‘I’ll give him until three,’ she said, pulling out her phone and texting as quickly as she could with cold, nervous fingers. ‘Then I’ll call our adoption society worker. He can’t do this. I’m worried about Soraya.’ Hopefully the mere thought of the authorities being involved would be enough to bring Rick to his senses.
‘Oh dear, that does seem drastic. Do you think maybe he’s – not well? Depressed or something? Due to your father’s death?’
Amanda sounded flustered and Ella paused. Was she being too hard on Rick? No, because no matter what was going on with him, there was Soraya to consider as well. She finished her text and pressed send.
‘I can’t help him – or Soraya – while they’re not here,’ she said, feeling better now the way forward was more clear. And Amanda must be wrong – there was no reason for Rick to be so affected by Dad’s death. She was the one who’d failed to resuscitate him, not Rick. She was the one who’d lost a parent – and she was well on the way towards losing her husband as well as her child. Oh please no.
