by Jana Petken
“What are you saying?” Belle looked into his face.
“I’m saying that if the North continues with their anti-slavery policies, some of the Southern states may secede from the Union.”
Chapter Forty-Five
On the fourth day, Mercy’s fever broke, and she finally opened her eyes. She looked around the room. She couldn’t remember where she was at first. She wasn’t afraid, yet she remembered feeling flames engulf her, a dead man, her bloodied hands, and Jacob’s face. She opened her eyes wider. The room was bright and hurt them.
First she saw Jacob. He was holding her hand. At the other side of the bed was Isaac, dampening her brow. Both men were smiling. Why were they smiling? she wondered. Her mouth felt so dry, and her body was damp and ached all over.
Her memory began to return. Jacob and Elizabeth were getting married. She’d gone for a walk. She’d fallen in the snow too many times to count. There had been dips and small hills in the fields, all hidden by the thick layer of snow that had been so high in places that it had reached her knees. She hadn’t meant to walk so far, but the blizzard had been dark and wild, like her mood. She felt as weak as a newborn baby now and couldn’t move her head or raise a smile to the two men in return.
She stared into Jacob’s eyes and saw his love. It was still there, but then she remembered the Coulters. Tears dribbled down her cheeks, and Jacob dabbed them away. “It’s all right, my darling. You’ve been very sick, but Isaac is making you better.”
Mercy tried to speak, but her mouth couldn’t release the words. She turned her head away from Jacob and looked at Isaac. He looked so tired and afraid. She finally smiled softly at him and then fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Leaving Abby with Mercy, Jacob and Isaac headed to the dining room.
Belle was sitting with Hendry. Breakfast was being served, and for the first time in days, Jacob and Isaac ate a proper meal.
It was going to be the most difficult, heartbreaking day of Jacob’s life, but he knew what he had to do. Looking at the others, he said in an unsteady voice, “We’ll have to leave at noon.”
“I’m sorry, Jacob, but I’m not going with you. Hendry will stand by your side. I’m not leaving Mercy,” Belle said.
“I figured, and I agree with you. I think it would be better for you to remain here. It’s too cold for you to travel in your condition, and I would feel happier knowing you were with Mercy. She’s so very weak, and she’ll need someone to talk to.”
“And to clean up your mess,” Belle said, and then regretted her words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“You’re right. This is my mess, and I am leaving you here to deal with it. Jesus, what have I done?” Jacob said in a voice laced with guilt.
“You’ve been a darn fool,” Belle spat.
“It’s a miracle she pulled through at all,” Isaac said. “I thought we were going to lose her. She’s a fighter, a real fighter, our Mercy.”
“Yes, she is. And she’s also very hurt. Jacob, she won’t be here when you get back. You do know that, don’t you?” Belle said miserably.
“She will. She has to stay. I don’t know how to fix this, but I’ll figure it out,” Jacob told her.
“So you think you’re just going to walk back in here with your new wife and Mercy’s going to be at the door to welcome you both? Sometimes I want to slap you!” Belle’s eyes were sparkling with anger.
“Belle, please. I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t want to marry Elizabeth Coulter. I want to marry the woman upstairs. But you know I have to do this, for you and Hendry too!”
“Don’t you dare blame Hendry and me. You should have honest.”
“I can’t live without Mercy. Don’t make this harder for me.”
Belle shook her head. Tears stung her eyes. “Say no. You don’t have to go through with it. I agreed with Hendry last night, but I’ve changed my mind. Don’t do it, Jacob – I implore you!”
“Hush, sweetheart,” said Hendry. “Don’t you go upsetting yourself. Jacob has no choice, and your getting all riled up won’t change that. He has to marry her. There ain’t nothing else for it.”
Jacob’s conflicted emotions were mixed with exhaustion. He shook his head and shared his thoughts with the others. “Y’all know Elizabeth wants to be mistress of this plantation more than she wants me. I reckon she might not want it so bad now that you two are home,” he said to Hendry and Belle. “She might—”
“No, she won’t call it off,” Belle interrupted. “She’s got her mind set on this house, and in her mind, only God almighty is going to stop her from having it. But I don’t think that woman has any love for you either, Jacob, and that gives me hope.”
Jacob murmured, “Hope? What hope do you see?”
“Hope that Mercy will remain calm enough to see that running away from you isn’t the answer. We’ve been talking about this, Hendry and me, and we’re going to ask her to stay in our town house in Portsmouth. When you’ve settled in, you can go see her whenever you want. We’ll all make sure she’s financially secure, and she can recuperate there. I know it might not work, but at least it will give you time to convince her that all is not lost.”
“God damn it! Am I the only sane person here?” Isaac said angrily, looking at Jacob. “Do you really think that Mercy will agree to become your mistress? Listen to yourselves! Do you think you can own her like you own your slaves? Jacob, are you figuring on using her when you tire of being with your wife? She’s got her pride – Jesus, she’s still alive because she’s strong and resilient. For the love of God, let her go. Give her enough money to start over and don’t be so fucking selfish!”
“Isaac, my wife!” Hendry warned him.
Isaac ran his fingers through his tousled hair and put his hand up. “I apologise, Belle, but I’ve heard enough. Jacob, you’re so tired that you’re not thinking straight. Belle, you seem to be on some quest for a happy ending. And Hendry, you sit there silently defending your brother when you should be telling him not to marry a woman he has no affections for. I ain’t goin’ to your wedding either, Jacob. I won’t sit there and listen to speeches and vows and choke on your wedding cake! I’m staying here to make sure Mercy is on the road to recovery before she storms out of this house. Then I’ll take her wherever she wants to go. No one here should put silly ideas into her head about becoming Jacob’s concubine. You Southerners with your backward traditions make me feel sick to my stomach! Mercy’s only eighteen years old. She deserves a life, a good one. You brought her to Virginia, Jacob, so you have to think hard now about what you’re doing and how you’re going to let her go. Because let her go you must, and if you don’t—”
“What, you’ll look after her? Is that what you wanted to say?” Jacob shouted back.
Isaac stood up to leave and then faced the others, who were still shocked at his outburst. “If you throw Mercy aside for Elizabeth Coulter, I will make it my duty to take care of her.”
“Yeah, I reckon you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Isaac? Do you think I haven’t noticed how you look at her? You’re in love with her. Any fool can see it. But why? How can you be in love with a woman who loves another man and has never given you any cause to hope?” Jacob mocked. He was also on his feet by now, and he had moved towards Isaac. “You’re happy about this situation! Why, I believe there’s nothing you’d like better than to take Mercy for your own when I’m out of the way.”
“Yes, damn you, I do love her, and God knows she’d be much better off with me than remaining here, waiting for you to call on her!”
Belle stood up and banged her fist on the table. “Enough! Both of you sit down right now.” She was sobbing. “Isaac’s right. If you marry Elizabeth, Jacob, you have to let Mercy go. She deserves better. This is awful. How could we have even thought about her being a mistress? We’re being selfish, Jacob – we are.” Belle sniffed.
Belle’s tears calmed the situation. She slumped and covered her face.
“If either of you t
wo upset my wife again, I’ll throw both of you out of here,” Hendry threatened. “Jacob, I’m your brother, and I hope you know that all I want is your happiness, but not marrying Elizabeth will ruin you, and you know it. Virginia’s looking at some tough times ahead and you, me, and every other planter round these parts need all the friends we can get.”
“I know, Hendry – God help me, I do.”
Defeat resonated around the table. No one spoke; no one ate. In two hours, Hendry and Jacob would leave, and Jacob would marry Elizabeth.
Jacob got up and walked from the room. He wouldn’t – no, he couldn’t – say goodbye to Mercy. He would write her a letter and beg her to wait for him in Portsmouth, where he’d go to her and promise her a solution.
Chapter Forty-Six
Mercy lay awake and stared at the ceiling. Candles were lit, the fire was blazing, and her headache was receding. Abby had just bathed her, and she wore a clean cotton nightgown. Abby sat in an armchair, watching her as always. The poor girl had not left her side in days. Mercy had seen her face every time she’d opened her eyes, even when it was for just a moment.
The door opened, and Belle walked in. Mercy held out her hand, and Belle came to sit on the bed. She held Mercy’s hand and kissed it. “I love you very much, Mercy; you must know that. You gave us all quite a scare,” she said, stroking Mercy’s forehead.
“Jacob has gone, hasn’t he?” Mercy whispered.
Belle nodded, unable to say the word yes.
Mercy cried softly, without strength, to vent her sorrow. She lay listless, staring again at the ceiling, and then looked once more at Belle. “There was nothing else he could do. I understand him, but I feel dead inside, Belle. All my hopes and dreams – gone.”
“No, darling. You mustn’t think like that,” Belle told her, but without conviction. “Love finds a way. It always does.”
Mercy gave her a weak smile and then squeezed Belle’s hand. “Jacob gave me life. He saved me more than once. I will always love him – always. Without him, I would never have known the meaning of happiness. My heart was full of it. I suppose my memories of him will have to be enough for me now.”
“No, you’re wrong. Many paths will be open for you, and along the way, you will find love again. Even I believe we can love more than once. I also believe that great things can happen. Opportunities are endless on our journey through life. As God is my witness, I’ll pray every day for you, and I’ll ask for love to find you.”
Mercy closed her eyes, yet tears managed to squeeze between her eyelids. “As soon as I feel well enough to get up, I’ll leave. How long do I have before Jacob returns?”
“A week – eight days, maybe. Mercy, please don’t think badly of Jacob. He couldn’t say goodbye to you. You were still too ill. He didn’t want to upset you when you were finally sleeping peacefully. You slept for two whole days, and your fever has gone. He left a letter for you.” She watched Mercy’s face as Mercy digested her words. “Do you want to read it when you’re alone?”
“No. Read it to me. Please.”
Belle’s hands were shaking as she dismissed Abby. “Bring tea for Miss Mercy and me,” she ordered before Abby left. “And something light to eat for Miss Mercy too.
“Are you sure you don’t want to read this alone?” Belle asked, clearly hoping Mercy would not make her say Jacob’s words aloud.
“Read it. My eyes hurt. I need you to read it for me.”
Belle nodded and took the letter out of her dress pocket.
My dearest Mercy,
I know that you must hate me, and I can’t blame you. I want you to despise me, for I have been dishonest and unspeakably cruel to you.
I want you to know that my love for you is sincere in every way. You are the love of my life. You will always be in my heart, filling it with joy but also with immeasurable regret because of what I must do. There will not be a day that goes by when I don’t think of you and when I don’t hate myself and wish that I had done things differently. I have ordered Isaac to open an account for you in the Portsmouth bank. I refuse to allow you to say no to the money that will be placed there for you.
Belle and Hendry have a house in Portsmouth, and it is yours to live in. We are only a few miles apart. I pray that you will wait for me and grant me the opportunity to convince you that this marriage to Elizabeth will not deter me from having a future with you. I will find a way to resolve this.
I realise I am asking much from you, but I promise you that love can and will overcome all. You and I are meant to be together, Mercy. Please, please wait for me, and let me prove to you that even if I have to leave my home and disappear with you to wherever the wind takes us, I will do it. I will do it, Mercy. I have the money and the means to begin a new life. Belle and Hendry are with me on this decision. I just need time.
My love always,
Jacob
Chapter Forty-Seven
Isaac settled Mercy and Belle into the carriage and took one last look at the house, which held fond memories.
The carriage was quite luxurious, with thick curtains on the windows and velvet seats – one for Belle and him, and the other long enough for Mercy to curl up on. There were bearskin blankets, pillows, and flasks of hot drinks, including even more chicken broth, which Mercy had sworn never to drink again after being forced to taste it for nine consecutive days.
Handel and Abby followed in another carriage, which carried the women’s belongings. It would be their jobs to look after Mercy.
Belle was going to visit with her parents, whose grand town house in the city of Portsmouth was situated in a highly populated residential area just off the long tree-lined street at the heart of the city.
Belle thought about Jacob and the look of misery on his face when he left for his wedding. He’d looked at her, made her promise to look after Mercy, and said, “The next time I set foot in this house, I’ll be married to the wrong woman. How ironic God is.”
Belle had the strength not to display pity or sorrow at Jacob’s plight. She had urged him to part on good terms with Isaac, but they had parted with a handshake and just one word: goodbye. She watched Isaac look back at the house, sensing that he would never return and that this would be another regret that Jacob would have to live with.
Mercy snuggled down under her blanket and smiled at Belle and Isaac. As the carriage left Stone Plantation’s fine arched entrance, she wondered if she would ever again set foot in it. Once again, her path had been diverted in an instant, her destiny changed, and her dreams shattered.
With her eyes closed, she concentrated on the smooth rocking movement of the carriage over ground that had shed the snow, so deep on that fateful day. It lay only on higher ground now and in small, sparse patches, thanks to a week of mild weather over Christmas. Mercy heard Isaac speaking to Belle. He had saved her life. She would always admire and love Isaac. He’s so kind. That was her last thought before a deep, dreamless sleep took hold.
Watching Mercy sleep, Isaac wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms, to see her look at him in the same way she looked at Jacob. During his heated argument with Jacob, he hadn’t denied his feelings for her. He wished he could take back some of the spiteful words spoken. He wished he didn’t have the feelings he had or the bitterness that grew every day. He would make Mercy a happy woman and give her a grand future if she were his. If only she would let Jacob go …
He would remain in Portsmouth for a week or so. He would try to convince Mercy to leave with him. If she refused, he would begin the long journey home to Boston alone.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Mercy was feeling better; so much so that she decided to take a walk to the haberdashery store to purchase ribbons for the belated Christmas party to be held that very evening at Belle’s parents’ house. Abby had asked to join her, but Mercy had ordered the slave to stay home. She had not been left alone since her arrival and wanted nothing more than time to herself and a brisk walk. Abby insisted that she take her med
icine. Mercy was not keen on this idea. It made her light-headed and sleepy. But she relented after being threatened with, “Miss Mercy, I’ll be telling Mr Isaac you be disobeying his orders.”
As she left the house, she laughed. She was taking orders from a slave and obeying them!
Out on the street, she breathed in the crisp, fresh air under a blue sky and thought again about just how lucky she was to be alive. Hendry was home, and Jacob would be at Stone Plantation with his new wife – yet she was happy. He was close by, and any day now, he would find an excuse to come to her. Life was short, she kept reminding herself. Happiness was fleeting. She had tasted it, wanted more, and would fight teeth and bone to hold on to it.
She felt no jealousy towards Elizabeth – she pitied her. Jacob loved her. Soon Elizabeth would come to realise this and give him up, for what woman would want to be with a man who loved another? She saw no happiness in her life without Jacob. No moon would look bright, no sun would warm her, and no other man would take his place in her heart. She was a mistress now, and it was an ugly word, but she was sure that one day she would be his wife. She would hold on to that dream.
She was immediately taken by Portsmouth’s beauty and character. Its long main road was lined with tall trees, giving it a country air. Shops were colourful, with wooden slats painted in white, cream, and terracotta. There was an array of small tea rooms with terraces looking onto the street, which Mercy could envisage being comfortable and cool in summertime.
A beautiful old church sat on the corner of a row of shops. She noticed a small gate and entered, following a path which took her to the rear of the building, where she found a graveyard. Some of the headstones were so old that the names written there had all but faded into the stone itself. She did see a few that clearly belonged to the long-dead soldiers who had fought in 1776 to free America from Britain. People had left plants and flowers. The graves were extremely well cared for. She left the church and decided to go straight to the Haberdashery before having a more in-depth look at the city centre. Belle had given her directions. Having only one road to manoeuvre, Mercy had to walk just a few hundred feet before the shop came into view.
