She crossed her arms as she regarded me. “Have you considered that this might be about something else?”
“Like what?” Did she suspect that the kissing problem was all on my side? Maybe Peter had said something?
“I don’t know. It’s just that you seem…a little too eager. What if there’s a hole in your life that you’re trying to fill with dating?”
A hole in my life? “Are you saying I’m empty?”
“Not empty, just maybe missing something.” She dug into her sushi container and pointed an avocado and seaweed roll at me. “You think it’s about dating because everyone tells us we should be hooking up at our age, but what if it’s not?”
A missing piece? I chewed the inside of my cheek as I considered her point. “I already have a job, a home, a half-finished degree, and friends. What else could I need?”
“A hobby, maybe?” she said as she squirted soy sauce over her lunch.
“I have painting. In fact, I do it all the time. Finn gave me the attic to use just as an art room.” It had been the nicest thing he could have given me—my own little space where I could lose myself in my art.
She frowned, thinking as she chewed. When she swallowed, she said, “Okay, what about a puppy?”
My insides went gooey at the idea. We’d had lots of dogs and animals when I was growing up. Strays and those in need seemed to find us, and my parents would never turn someone in need away, whether they were human, dog, or chicken. In fact, I was missing having a pet, but it wasn’t an ideal time.
I shrugged as I pulled a piece of mushroom out of my salad sandwich and flicked it onto my plate. “Finn and I have talked about a puppy, but we’re both out all day, so it doesn’t seem fair.”
“Another hobby?” she suggested, undeterred. “I’ve heard skydiving is fun.”
A shiver raced down my spine. “And very high in the air. I’d probably faint from fear before I reached the ground. Besides, I spend most of my spare time painting.”
We sat in silence for almost a minute before her eyes flashed. “I know! What about knitting? You don’t need extra time for that. You can do it in front of the TV.”
I thought about celebrities I’d seen knitting on movie sets. They always seemed both Zen and hip at the same time. Of course, I’d tried using chopsticks once and failed so spectacularly that I’d ended up using them as a hair accessory instead, so my optimism wasn’t high that I could master any skill that used two straight sticks. But I was willing to give it a go.
I took my blue glasses off and gave them a quick wipe with my silky top. “That could work. But do you really think knitting can replace dating?”
“You won’t know until you try,” she said brightly, but I had a feeling she didn’t believe a word of it.
I checked the time—my lunch break was almost up, so I screwed the salad roll wrapper into a tight ball and threw it at the bin, making it by the barest of margins. “Okay, but in the meantime, you’ll still set me up with someone else, right?”
“Sure. And you can wear your new knitted scarf out on the date.”
As I headed back to my desk, I tried to picture myself knitting like a movie star, but couldn’t quite imagine it. Maybe if I bought some movie star sunglasses…
Finn
My cell rang as I was walking to class. Juggling the books in my arms, I dug the cell from my pocket and checked the screen—my youngest sister, Amelia. I thumbed the answer button.
“Hey, Amelia. Great to hear from you but I have exactly three minutes before I reach my class.” I called her at her boarding school every Sunday night and tried at least once during the week, too, but she usually called me at random times, and was used to catching me at awkward moments like this.
“Are you teaching them about rubbish piles today?” She giggled but it sounded a little fragile.
“No, this is a first year class. They dream of learning about ancient rubbish piles. They’re only up to pyramids.” I adjusted the books in my arms and moved the phone to my other ear. “So how are things?”
“Well, I have some news, and you have to promise not to get worked up.”
I stopped walking, my stomach sinking. “Just tell me.”
“Do you promise?” she repeated, her voice wobbling.
“Okay, I promise.” Which was a lie, but I was starting to get worried. “What’s happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m coming home to live with you,” she said brightly. Too brightly. “It’s going to be great!”
Amelia was my good sister, the one who always did what she was supposed to do and followed the rules, so this news was the last thing I’d expected. When our parents had died and I’d taken on custody of both my sisters, Amelia had been eleven, and Billie sixteen, so managing Billie’s rebellious behavior had taken up most of my time. Amelia had been sweet and eager to please, as opposed to Billie’s anger at the world. Though, I couldn’t blame Billie—I’d been pretty angry at the world, too.
When Amelia had begged to be allowed to go to a boarding school that had a specialized dance program, it had seemed like the perfect solution—she’d have the dance classes she wanted, as well as adult women around her to help her into womanhood in a way I couldn’t.
I started walking again, double time, so I wouldn’t be late. “Why do you want to come home?”
“I miss you,” she said, and I could tell that, at least, was genuine.
“I miss you, too, sweetie. How about you stay put and I come up at the weekend so we can talk about this?”
“Um. It’s a bit late for that.”
There were tears in her voice, and adrenaline flooded my system. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. The most powerless I ever felt was when something was wrong with one of my sisters and I couldn’t fix it. I sent up a quick plea that whatever was going on here would be fixable, and that she was fine.
“What’s going on, Amelia?”
“The school says I need to leave as soon as possible. It will take me a couple of hours to pack my stuff, so any time after that will be good for you to come get me.”
I arrived at the classroom and pushed through the doors. “Just tell me you’re okay. You’re not hurt,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t break while I was being watched by the students.
“I’m fine. I promise.”
Letting out a deep breath, I dropped my books on the desk at the front of the room. “Look, I have to go, but I’ll call you as soon as I’m on my way. Will you be okay till then?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice soft. “Thank you, Finn.”
My heart breaking, I tried to sound calm so I didn’t freak Amelia out before I unearthed the full story. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“I love you,” she said.
“Hang tight. I’ll be there soon.” As I disconnected and looked at the roomful of students in front of me, I tried to remember what the class was about. All I could think about was Amelia.
Chapter Five
Scarlett
The reception phone rang, and I clicked the button. “Good morning, Ferguson and Johns. How may I help you?”
“Scarlett, it’s me.” Finn’s voice had an edge that immediately had my attention.
“Are you okay?”
He blew out a breath. “I’m fine, but I need your help.”
“Name it,” I said, without needing to think.
“Is there any chance you could get the afternoon off?”
I glanced around. “Maybe, I don’t know. Why?”
“Something’s happened with Amelia and she has to leave school today. I’m driving up to get her.”
Amelia? My stomach clenched. She was such a sweet kid. If she was in trouble, I wanted to be there. Also, if something was wrong with one of his sisters, Finn would need support. They were the world to him.
“I’ll see what I can do and ring you back in a few minutes.”
Thankfully, when I explained to my boss that it was a family emergency, and Cathy said she w
as happy to help cover the front desk for the rest of the day, I was able to take the afternoon off as half a sick day. Finn picked me up at the front of the building about ten minutes later.
“Thanks,” he said as he pulled the car away from the curb.
“Always,” I said. “Do you have any details yet?”
“Nothing that explains anything.” He shrugged and I noticed how pale his face was. “She called as I was going into class, but I couldn’t concentrate, so I gave the students some extra reading and cut the tutorial short.” He winced. “I hope Professor Davids understands once I explain.”
“Of course she will,” I said, trying to sound reassuring.
“When I called Amelia back, she said she was packing her things but wouldn’t give any details. I didn’t want to push too hard until I see her face-to-face.”
“I’m sure it will be all right,” I said, despite not being sure at all.
We stopped at a red light and he threw me a grateful smile. “Thanks again for coming. I might need someone to hold me back when I talk to the principal.”
The only time I’d ever seen Mr. Cool and Calm Finn lose his temper was the night we’d met, and even then his actions had been efficient and controlled. I couldn’t imagine him ever really losing it.
“Have you spoken to the school yet?”
“The school secretary called after Amelia to inform me that she was being expelled, but wouldn’t tell me why. She said the principal would talk to me when I arrived.” He smoothly changed lanes to overtake a car travelling under the speed limit. “The other thing is, I don’t know what shape Amelia is in, and it might help to have a woman with me.”
In the past year, while I’d been living with Finn, I’d been around for all of Amelia’s visits. And even before that, in the years before I officially moved in, I’d spent lots of time with Finn and his sisters during the holidays. Billie had become a friend, and Amelia was practically a little sister.
“I really like Amelia, so I’m glad I can help. And I’ll drive home if you need to sit in the back with her or anything.”
He reached over and grabbed my fingers, squeezed them, then returned his hand to the steering wheel. For the rest of the trip, I talked about my day at work, the songs on the radio, anything I could think of to divert his attention so his fears didn’t swamp him. It might have even worked a little.
Finn
When we arrived, we were told Amelia was waiting outside the principal’s office. Scarlett grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze, which helped, but my gut was clenched tight and I couldn’t drag enough air into my lungs.
As soon as I saw her, sitting on a wooden bench in the corridor, my heart broke. She was so very young, with her long, dark ponytail draped over her shoulder, and she looked completely alone. Her head lifted and she saw me, her eyes uncertain, but when I held out my arms, she ran into them and hugged me tight. I enveloped her, cradling her head with a hand, as if I could physically protect her from the world. If only.
“Finn,” she whispered, her voice cracking.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll sort it out.” Of course, I still didn’t know if she was traumatized by whatever had happened, or she was scared of being kicked out of her dream school, but whatever it was, I needed to fix it. I met Scarlett’s eyes over the top of Amelia’s head, grateful and relieved she’d come with me.
A woman in a pantsuit appeared. “Ms. Crosby will see you now.”
Nodding, I disengaged Amelia from my waist and, with a protective arm around her shoulders, led her to the door. From the corner of my eye I saw Scarlett grab Amelia’s other hand, and I smiled my thanks.
Ms. Crosby stood as we entered the room, with a stern, disappointed expression. I used the same one on my undergrads when they failed to hand in an assignment, so I wasn’t intimidated.
“Ah, Mr. McKenzie.” She held out her hand and I shook it briefly.
“I don’t know what’s happened here, Ms. Crosby, but Amelia’s behavioral record is spotless, so I can’t think of any reason the school would be talking about expulsion.”
She didn’t flinch. “Amelia had a boy in her room last night.”
A boy in her room? Little Amelia? The idea was laughable. “No, she didn’t.”
Ms. Crosby crossed her arms. “Ask her.”
Everything around me started a slow spin. I looked down at my little sister, unable to put the two concepts together. “Did you?”
Amelia’s sweet face crumpled. “We were only listening to music.”
“Hang on,” Scarlett said, “you’re throwing her out of school for listening to music with a boy in her room?”
Ms. Crosby’s eyes flicked to Scarlett then back to me. “As I’m sure you can understand, this is a girls only school, and I need to promise the safety of all those girls to their parents. A boy in the dormitory is a threat to that security, so we have a zero tolerance approach. It’s a rule that Amelia was well aware of before she broke it.”
My mind was racing with the idea of Amelia with a boy, and Amelia breaking a rule in the first place, and also how to fix this so she could stay in the school she loved.
“So,” I said straightening my spine, “you’ll give her a warning and maybe a detention and she won’t do it again.”
Ms. Crosby looked at Amelia and, for a moment, she seemed genuinely regretful, before her face fell back into the blank mask. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. If I let our standards slip on this issue, I’d have half the student population withdrawn by the end of the week.”
“Surely you’re not serious,” I said, stunned. “She has an unblemished record. She’s not a rule-breaker kind of kid.”
“I’m sorry, Amelia has been a good student, but my hands are tied.” She shrugged one shoulder, then indicated some papers on her desk. “We have some paperwork to go through, then you can take Amelia home.”
Reeling, I looked from the principal to my sister, unable to form coherent thoughts, then Scarlett’s hand came around behind Amelia to sit at the small of my back. I blinked, and took a breath, willing myself to be calm. For Amelia. The warmth coming from Scarlett’s hand kept me centered as I went through the motions of ending my sister’s time at her dream school.
Scarlett
I’d offered to drive, but Finn insisted he would. It probably gave him something to do when he clearly felt things were spinning out of control. I sat in the back with Amelia, who looked devastated. She kept sneaking glances at Finn in the rearview mirror, but either he didn’t notice, or he wasn’t ready to give her the reassurance she needed now they were on their way home. So instead, I did what I’d done on the way out, and filled in the silence, talking about the scenery we drove past, the music on the radio, anything I could think of. My fellow travelers only spoke when I asked them a direct question, but that was fine.
When we reached home, Finn carried Amelia’s bags to her room then said he had to touch base with some people at uni about cancelling the class this morning. Amelia’s red, watery eyes followed him as he took out his cell at the dining table, until I couldn’t bear it.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s make some iced chocolate.”
Her gaze flicked back to Finn, then she nodded. I filled two tall glasses with milk, ice cream, and chocolate powder, then added extra ice cream. If ever a day needed an extra scoop of ice cream, it was today. Amelia stood watching me, her long arms and legs looking awkward, as if she wasn’t sure where to put them or how to stand. I grabbed the drinks and herded her into her room.
As soon as we were alone, sitting on her bed, she said, “He’s mad at me, isn’t he?”
“I think he’s upset about the situation, not necessarily mad at you.” Actually, I suspected he was feeling completely out of his depth, and as soon as I had Amelia settled, he was my next port of call.
“He hates me,” she said, her bottom lip trembling.
“Oh, honey. Finn could never hate you. He loves you and Billie more than anyone in the wor
ld.”
Her brow furrowed in the same way Finn’s did when he was thinking about something, then she crossed her legs and looked pointedly at me.
“And you,” she said.
I shook my head. “He loves me as a friend, but he loves you as a sister. There’s nothing you can do to destroy that.”
She sipped her chocolate, still obviously thinking deep thoughts. “I bet there’s nothing you could do to make him hate you, either.”
To hide my flinch at how she’d zeroed in on the consequences of my preoccupation with her brother, I gulped my drink, wishing I’d thrown some Baileys in when I had the chance. “Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. My point is, Finn will always love you.”
She put her glass down on a side table beside a framed photo of her parents, and threw her arms around my neck. “Thank you for coming to get me, Scarlett.”
“You’re welcome.” I pulled back a little so she could see my eyes. “I’ll always be here for you, too.”
She nodded and suddenly looked tired. She probably hadn’t had much sleep last night, either before or after being discovered.
I ran a hand down her arm. “You look worn out. Do you want to take a nap?”
She pulled her hair band out, and all that long, straight hair spilled down around her shoulders. “Actually, yeah,” she said, yawning.
While she lay down on the bed, cuddling a stuffed toy to her chest and looking far younger than she was, I pulled an old throw rug that her mother had made from the closet and tucked it around her. “I’ll tell Finn you’re sleeping.”
Amelia mumbled something, but she was already half asleep, so I sneaked out and quietly shut the door behind me.
On the way past the back windows, I glanced out at my parents’ tent. They were out for the day, but Amelia was going to be thrilled when she found out they were staying. They loved to spoil her when they passed through town.
I found Finn at the dining table where I’d left him, but he was staring at the ceiling.
“How is she?” he asked when I sat down across from him.
The Finn Factor Page 6
