She smiled, even as she said, “I’m serious.”
“I know. And I have been thinking about what you said that day, and you’re probably right.” It went against the grain to put feelings like these into words, but Scarlett deserved to know, so I steeled myself and went on. “Somewhere deep inside me is a belief that if you don’t commit you can’t be abandoned.”
“I’m not asking for a commitment, Finn. Well, no more than what we just talked about. But I don’t want you holding back, either. If we’re giving this a go, then we should give it a proper go.”
“I’m all in,” I said, meaning it, but hoping and praying I was capable of following through.
She bit down on a smile, but it still peeked out. “Me, too.”
Then she reached up and kissed me, and all my doubts evaporated. If I could just keep her near, things would stay clear and everything would work out fine.
Chapter Sixteen
Finn
The next night I was in a surprisingly good mood considering I was cooking dinner. Our new relationship status had started with good omens—we’d told my sisters over nachos and Amelia had squealed so loudly my ears rang for minutes afterward, and Billie had been—thankfully more quietly—thrilled we were taking the relationship public.
We’d gone to our own beds that night, as agreed, and neither one of us had sneaked into the other’s room. It didn’t seem right with my sisters in the house and now potentially listening for us changing rooms after lights out—a situation that would most definitely need addressing.
So all in all, things were pretty damn good in my life. The only thing that could dampen my mood was slicing onions—I always managed to get the juice into my eyes no matter what I did.
There was a knock on the door, and I dropped my knife onto the cutting board. Billie had taken Amelia shopping for more school supplies after work, and Scarlett was due any minute, so I was the only one to answer it. I swiped a hand at my stinging eyes, but that only made them worse.
I swore as I opened the door and Rakesh stood there, surprised and amused.
“If this is a bad time, I can come back later.” He grinned.
“Onions,” I said over my shoulder as I turned away and headed for the kitchen.
“Ah. You know you can avoid that if you order takeout.”
“Amelia is a kid. Kids need vegetables.”
His grin faded. “Good point. Have you tried cutting them under water?”
I sliced into another onion. “I’m sure you didn’t drop over to critique my kitchen skills.” I paused to slide the chopped onion into the pot with the others. “And remember I have a knife in my hand, so you might want to get to the point.”
He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “I need you to do me a favor.”
“Depends.” I crossed to the sink and washed my hands, then grabbed two beers from the fridge. “Am I going to like this favor?”
Rakesh nodded as he took the beer. “I was supposed to represent the department at the opening night of the Etruscan Treasures display at the museum, but something’s come up.”
He handed me two tickets and I took them, still watching his face. “Is that something that you just found out the fact that Laura’s going to be there?”
Rakesh’s ex was only recently back in the country and working at another university’s ancient history department. They’d broken up a while ago, but it had been pretty brutal, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if he wanted to avoid her.
“Possibly.” He took a long pull from the bottle. “Yeah, okay, she’ll be there. Do you want the tickets?”
“Sure,” I said, feeling generous because my love life was doing so much better than his right now.
The front door opened and Scarlett’s voice called out that she was home. My heart gave a double thump. A few seconds later she appeared at the kitchen entrance, looking slightly disheveled from her day, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms tightly around her and never let go.
“Oh, hey Rakesh,” she said when she saw him.
Rakesh looked at her with stars in his eyes. This was the first time I’d seen them together since the night of the university fundraiser, when he told me he’d had something of a crush on her. The night Scarlett and I had gone on to have sex up against a wall in my office.
And now that I was watching for the signs of his infatuation, I could see it.
“Hey, Scarlett,” he said.
She smiled back and headed for me, and I realized I had about two seconds before she kissed me hello and announced to Rakesh that we were together.
He’d be hurt—I needed to break this to him another time, when I could do it gently. Though I was aware of a lump of guilt lodged in my gut for lying to him that night of the fundraiser, telling him she was seeing someone when she wasn’t. If he knew we were together now, it would be obvious I’d pulled an asshole move.
So I opened the fridge, grabbed a beer for Scarlett, and held it out before she reached me.
She hesitated mid-step, assessing the situation, then smoothly took the bottle and moved to the far counter.
“Hey, Finn. How was your day?”
Smiling my thanks for going with the flow, I told her about the excuses students had given me today for needing an extension on their assignments, and Rakesh threw in a few others, until we were all laughing, and the beers were empty.
“I should get going,” Rakesh said. “Let you get back to your onions.”
We saw him off at the front door, then Scarlett trapped me against the closed door by pushing herself against me, chest to hips. Any thoughts that this was a seductive maneuver were quickly scattered by her narrowed eyes.
“Explain to me why you cut me off when I went to greet you.”
She wasn’t using any force, but she held me pinned just the same—I wasn’t leaving while her lush curves were making so much contact with so much of me.
“You looked like you could use a beer.” I adjusted my stance, just to feel the friction of her body as it moved against me.
“Rakesh doesn’t know we’re together, does he?”
“Not so much,” I said, and gave in to the need to smooth my hands down her back, pulling her closer as I went. Her breath hitched and she stood on tiptoes, aligning our bodies even more.
“Why didn’t you tell him?” But the demand had gone from her eyes, replaced by a growing lust-haze.
For a full second I considered telling her about Rakesh’s crush, before I remembered thinking that he was perfect for her. I knew she wanted me now—the way she was stroking closer and closer to my hard-on left little doubt—but would she always?
Fully aware it was petty and beneath me, I decided not to tell her. Which left me with no explanation for not having told Rakesh yet.
So I leaned down to bite the spot that drove her crazy, where her neck sloped into her shoulders, and when she moaned, I lifted my mouth to her ear.
“It’s a long story,” I murmured. “I could tell you, or we could use the hour or so until my sisters get home in a more constructive way.”
Without hesitation, she grabbed a fistful of my shirt and tugged me in the direction of my bedroom.
“You make a good point,” she said over her shoulder. “Now, show me what else you can do well.”
I grinned, more than happy to use every last minute we had alone doing exactly that.
Scarlett
Thirty minutes into our first official date and I was starting to reconsider the whole thing. I was attending an event at the museum as Finn’s plus one, as I’d done countless times before, except this time I wasn’t merely a plus one. I was his date.
He’d even worn a green shirt he must have specially bought. I’d almost fainted when I saw him in something other than pale blue.
When we’d arrived, he’d come around to open my door. I hadn’t been expecting it so I’d opened it myself—straight into his face. Hopefully his nose wouldn’t bruise.
/> “What the hell?” he’d said.
“Sorry!” I’d jumped out and grabbed a tissue in case his nose bled. “But you’ve never done that before. I wasn’t expecting it.”
His eyes had been pained, and not just from the car door hitting him in the face. “You’ve always been my friend when we’ve gone out before. This time you’re my girlfriend, so I was opening the door for you.” He said it with such obvious patience, as if I should have known, that I wanted to smile.
“Thanks?” I said sheepishly as I examined his nose. “It doesn’t look like it’s going to bleed. Do you want a painkiller?”
He started to shake his head, then stopped, wincing. “I’m fine. Let’s just go in.”
It was the opening night launch of a new museum display: Etruscan Treasures. Finn was here representing his department at the university, so none of his friends were around, and I recognized nobody. Finn knew a few people from his networks in the Australian archeology scene, and he took great pains to introduce me each time as “Scarlett Logan, my girlfriend.”
When we had a moment clear, I dragged him by the elbow behind some potted ferns.
“What are you doing?” he hissed.
“Finn, I don’t think you have to point out that I’m your girlfriend each time you talk to someone. It’s weird. Besides, I think they’re just going to assume it since I’m here with you.”
He frowned. “But you went to events with me when you weren’t my girlfriend.”
“The hand on my waist has been pretty much giving it away, but does it really matter what they think our relationship is?”
He pushed me a step farther behind the potted palms, the heat in his eyes blazing to life. “You betcha it does. I want every single person to know that the most beautiful woman in the room is here with me.”
I melted inside. “If I didn’t have red lipstick on, I’d totally kiss you right now.”
He leaned down until his warm breath fanned over my face. “I’m not scared of a little lipstick. I have the tissue you gave me at the car in my pocket.”
Then he closed the remaining distance and kissed me. It was light, sweet, and left me smiling.
“Okay,” I said a little breathlessly, “let’s go back and mingle.”
Ten minutes later a waiter came past with a tray of canapés. Hungry, I took one without thinking, and only as I swallowed it did I realize my mistake. The main flavor had been garlic. After all the effort I’d gone to in making this night special—buying a new dress and wearing sexy lingerie—I’d gone and given myself garlic breath.
Finn finished talking to the woman on his other side, and turned back to me. “Come with me,” he said and tugged my hand. Before I knew it we were in a dark corridor and Finn had pressed me up against the wall. In general, I had fond memories of being pressed up against the wall by Finn, so this was something I could approve of. Except for the garlic breath.
He leaned in to kiss me and I turned my head to the side. Undeterred, he nibbled on my jaw then turned my chin and kissed me. All I could do to salvage the situation was hold my breath, so I did. His tongue slid into my mouth, and I kissed him, still holding my breath.
He eased back. “Is something wrong?”
I turned my head to the side to breathe out and gasp in a new lungful of air. “No, everything is good.”
“That kiss lacked any passion, or even interest, whatsoever,” he said, his eyes narrowed.
I put a hand over my mouth as I said, “I’m just overwhelmed by the Etruscan display tonight.”
“Truth, Scarlett.” In that moment, he sounded every inch the university tutor that he was.
I screwed up my nose. “I ate a garlic canapé. I was holding my breath so you didn’t get icked out.”
“By your garlic breath?” His eyebrows drew together.
“Yes,” I said, turning my face to the side, still trying to protect him.
“I think you might have underestimated how badly I want to kiss you. Garlic breath is pretty much irrelevant at this point.”
“You say that now, but after experiencing the power of the garlic breath, you may never kiss me again.”
He drew in a pained breath, said a quick, “Stay here,” and left. Had he headed to the car for breath mints? I glanced around at the corridor, fiddled with the hem of my dress, tried to remember everything I knew about the Etruscan civilization, and hummed the lyrics to my latest favorite song.
A few minutes later he was back, grinning. “Okay, let’s try it again.”
“What did you do?”
“Tracked down a waiter and ate one of the canapés in question. Now our garlic breaths will cancel each other out.”
“Genius,” I said on a laugh.
He leaned in and this time I let him, welcomed him. I couldn’t even taste the garlic on his breath—I was too lost in him. Lost in the feel of his body pressed against mine, lost in the sounds of appreciation he was making at the back of his throat, lost in the freedom to kiss him freely now we were officially together.
It wasn’t long before he pulled back and whispered, “I wish we didn’t have to stop, but we’re in a museum corridor.”
I had to catch my breath before I could reply. “And you’re supposed to be out there, representing the university.”
“Yeah.”
I finger-combed his hair to undo the effects of my hands having just been there, gripping it in fistfuls, and wiped away my lipstick from around his mouth with my thumb, then did a similar patch up job on myself. “Okay, we’re good to go.”
“This is not finished,” he said, with a promise in his eyes. “As soon as I have you alone again, I’m going to make you scream my name. Twice.”
I linked my elbow into his as we headed for the main display area. “I’m going to hold you to that,” I whispered as we emerged into the light.
We spent the next half hour moving around the room, chatting to people and looking at the exhibit. Finn continued to stick close to my side, so the only time we were more than a hand span apart was my quick trip to the bathroom. When I found him again, he was deep in conversation with a tanned guy who looked to be in his forties.
Finn glanced up as I approached, and pulled me against his side, but kept his focus on what the man was saying.
“I have all the funding in place, and the logistics are almost organized.”
“That’s great, Ray,” Finn said. “I can’t wait to hear what you find there. It’s a region I’ve been excited about for a while.”
“You should come with us.”
I felt Finn’s quickly indrawn breath. “I’d love to, but I can’t.
“I’m serious. I could use an archeomusicologist on the dig. In fact, I’m in the early stages of planning the two digs after this one, and both of those teams could do with someone who has your specialty.”
I glanced up at Finn, waiting for him to say he was planning on a career of lecturing more than doing fieldwork. Instead he blew out a breath and gave Ray a rueful smile.
“I have guardianship of my sixteen-year-old sister, so I won’t be in a position to travel overseas for at least a couple of years.”
Ray’s eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t realize, but good for you.”
“If you have any openings on teams after that, I’d be more than interested.”
“Deal.” Ray held out his hand and Finn released me to shake it.
As the other man moved away, I felt as if I was watching the scene from far away. For some reason, I’d never put it together in my head that archeologists must live a fairly nomadic life. And Finn was an archeologist. Secure, reliable Finn. The man who’d given me my first taste of stability after growing up with hippies who moved around.
“Are you okay?” he murmured near my ear.
I nodded and stepped back a little to get a read on his expression. “I’m just surprised. I always expected you’d move from tutoring to lecturing and become a university professor.”
He frowned. “I’m plan
ning on that. Maybe after a few years of fieldwork.”
My gaze scanned his face as if I were seeing him for the first time. “You’ve never mentioned it before.”
“Probably not.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s always been so far into the future, after Billie and Amelia were independent, that I tried not to think about it much. They were my priority. But I’ve realized recently that Billie is now in charge of her own life, and Amelia is growing up fast. It’s time I started thinking about my career after she’s moved out.”
His career. His future. His nomadic future.
“And you want to spend that future traveling around the world.”
His eyebrows drew together as if he was having trouble seeing my point. “I’ve spent years studying this stuff. Of course I’d like to be part of actual discoveries as they happen.”
Which, now I thought about it, made total sense, and just what I’d want for him. But there was a big difference between wanting my best friend to reach his dreams, and thinking about my boyfriend’s future doing something I wasn’t sure I could be a part of.
He tucked my hair behind my ears and let his hand trail down my throat to rest on my shoulder. “If you’re thinking about how this impacts us, don’t. Nothing can happen for at least a couple of years yet, so let’s just take it as it comes for now, okay?”
“Okay, sure. I can do that,” I lied. Then I found what was hopefully a convincing smile, something that would cover the panic that was starting to rise from my stomach, threatening to engulf me. “Hey, I’ll be back in a minute. I just need to find the bathroom.”
He leaned in and kissed my cheek before releasing my fingers. “Hang on, didn’t you just come back from there? Are you okay?”
“There was a line, so I thought it would be easier to wait,” I said, lying again.
Needing space, I headed for the corridor where Finn had taken me earlier. As soon as I was out of sight, I gave in to the panic clutching at my stomach and sagged against the wall.
Finn’s future would be as nomadic as my childhood had been.
Living like that again was my worst fear, and if I stayed with Finn long term, it would become my reality. Either traveling with him, or having him come and go from the house, away for months at a time, no stability, no anchor.
The Finn Factor Page 19
