Finn took another step closer.
I could smell the musky scent of his skin, feel his breath feather over my face. It took all my willpower not to throw myself at him, beg him to hold me. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and my throat dried.
“Finn?” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
I moistened my lips, and watched him watch the action. “I know the icemaker was your version of a love letter.”
“I guess it was,” he said, his voice raspy. “So was my desk.”
Glancing over the desk I’d bought him, I admitted that with a nod. Then I focused back on Finn. “I learned something. It doesn’t matter that you never said the words—I’ll always know you loved me. And your love was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not just that you did, but the way you loved me. I don’t know what the future holds, if we can become friends again at some stage or not, but I wanted you to know that.”
“Don’t want to be friends,” he said, and I felt the world fall away from underneath me. It was all for nothing. We’d well and truly ruined the single-most important thing in my life. My eyes stung with the tears I refused to let form.
“That’s… That’s okay.” It was all I could manage to say.
“I learned something, too.” He edged infinitesimally closer. “The reason I didn’t try to move things beyond friendship before the kissing lessons was, I hadn’t taken The Scarlett Factor into account.”
I forgot to breathe for a full three seconds. “There’s a Scarlett Factor?”
“Oh, yeah.” He smiled and moved closer again. “I thought I had things all worked out. About life. About love. And all along I’d based it on faulty evidence.”
I swallowed. Hard. “Faulty evidence is a genuine problem that doesn’t get near enough attention.”
Another smidgeon closer, so we were almost, almost touching and I had to arch my neck to see his beautiful blue eyes. “I’d convinced myself I couldn’t fall in love. Couldn’t risk having my life torn apart again if I lost that person. But….”
“But…?” He was killing me here.
His expression intensified. “I realized that the risk is worth it if it’s the right person. The right person is worth the possibility of being hurt, because being with them is everything.”
I grabbed the front of his new black T-shirt in my fists. “If you don’t say that right person is me, Finn McKenzie, I’ll be breaking some furniture, and not in a good way.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely, it’s you, Scarlett,” he said, smiling despite the danger his shirt was in. “The Scarlett Factor is that you are worth any risk. In fact, I vote we forget your charts and graphs. I have a formula you might be interested in testing with me. You plus me equals happiness.”
He threaded his hands through my hair to cradle my head as he leaned down. I met him halfway, putting everything I had into the kiss, holding nothing back, now or ever again.
When we eased apart for air, I smiled and whispered, “I think that’s my favorite piece of mathematics ever.”
“And I want you to know I’m not planning on a career in fieldwork. I’m going to do everything I can to give you what you need. A stable life. Security.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you, Scarlett.”
I opened my mouth to reply but the words wouldn’t come. He loved me? Finn, who couldn’t say those words, hadn’t said them to anyone since his parents died…
He moved in closer. “I haven’t loved many people in my life—my parents, my sisters”—he placed a kiss, feather-light, on my lips—“and you. I’m head over heels about you, Scarlett. Lost in love.”
My heart squeezed so tight with love for this man, I didn’t think I could stand it. “I love you, too. And the only thing I need is you. If we spend our lives moving around, then so be it. I can get teaching work in other countries. You’re my home, Finn. As long as I have you by my side, I’ll feel as safe and settled as I’ll ever need.”
His eyes widened and shone. “You’d do that for me?”
I kissed him lightly on the lips. “That and more. I propose we start with a clean slate and make a plan for our future that suits us both. As partners.”
He pulled me tight against his chest and I felt his heart racing as fast as mine.
“Always,” he said into my hair.
We were all gathered in front of the house to see Billie off on her adventure, Amelia and me crying just a little, Finn tense, and Billie sparking with excitement. Harvey was confused, not sure if he should be excited like Billie or tense like Finn. He leaned against Finn’s leg, waiting to see what happened.
Billie had packed all her supplies into the old VW Beetle she’d bought after working at Ferguson and Johns for six months, and was ready to hit the road.
“Okay, I’m off,” she announced and put her arms out to Amelia. Her sister gripped her tightly.
“You’ll still call every week?” Amelia asked through the tears.
Billie rubbed her back. “Finny boy has made me promise to call at least twice a week.”
“Good,” Amelia said, then stepped back. I put my arm around her while Finn said his good-byes.
They hugged tightly, and Finn whispered something in her ear. Against all my expectations and experience of her, Billie burst into tears. He held her a couple of minutes longer, rubbing her back, before Billie pulled away, swiping at her face.
Then she turned to me and hugged me.
“You have a great time,” I said. “I’m looking forward to lots of stories and photos when you get back.”
She sniffled and managed a raspy, “I will,” before she pulled away, gave Harvey a pat, and headed for her car. Finn closed the driver’s door behind her, and as she reversed out onto the street, we all waved.
Once she was out of sight, Amelia looked up at Finn. “I think Harvey should move into my room,” she said.
Finn nodded. “That’s probably a good idea.”
“I’ll get his teddy out of your room and move him in now. Come on, Harvey.” She walked inside and Harvey trotted at her heels.
He draped an arm over my shoulders and I happily leaned into his side. “You were right about Amelia needing him,” he said.
“I’m not sure how long he’ll stay in her room though. He’s seemed pretty attached to you.”
“Harvey’s a smart dog. He sensed I needed him while you were gone, and he’s stayed around since out of habit. But now Amelia is upset about Billie leaving. I bet Harvey would have moved in with her even if she hadn’t encouraged him.”
“So you’ll have extra space in your bed?” I looked up at him and fluttered my lashes.
Since I’d been back, we’d been taking it slowly, and I’d moved into my old bedroom. Most nights, one of us had sneaked into the other’s room, but we still had the personal space if we needed it. We’d been through so much, I didn’t want any extra pressure while we were finding our way.
But I had a feeling it was time we stopped going slowly.
“You know someone who might like the spot?” he asked with a lazy smile.
I tugged on his hand, dragging him inside, and closed the door behind us. Then I pushed him against the wall, in the exact spot where he’d given me a kissing lesson all those months ago. And I smiled. “I’m thinking we don’t need to play it safe anymore. I believe in us.”
“You really want to share a room?” His voice lowered, promising everything my heart had been dreaming of. “Share a bed?”
“I really do,” I said with all the certainty inside me.
He kissed me, sweetly, reverently. When he pulled back, he cupped my face in one hand, gaze locked on mine as if he could see into my soul. “I love you, Scarlett Logan.”
My knees wobbled. Luckily he had an arm around my waist. I might never get used to him saying that.
“Was that a real ‘I love you’ or was it more like ‘I’m going to love all the sex we’ll have in my bed’ kinda thing?” I teased, once I had my breath back.
; He laughed and pulled me a little closer. “How about both? Though, speaking of those words, you gave me something important the night you came back. You accepted me as I was, not expecting me to say I love you. And I’ve been thinking about that a lot.”
“And what did you work out?” I asked gently.
There was a long pause, but I waited patiently, knowing he’d always share everything with me. He was both Best Friend Finn and Lover Finn and that was an amazing combination. Nothing could hold us back now.
“The last morning I saw my parents before they died… I’d always known it was illogical to be superstitious about telling them I loved them. But I realized recently how much worse it would have been if I’d wanted to say it that day and missed my chance. I’d be eaten up with regret. I want the people I love to be certain I love them.”
“That’s what you said to Billie, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He glanced at the front door. “She said she’d always known, but it seems that it meant something to her to hear it.”
I laid a hand over his precious heart. “Especially just before she went away.”
“Yeah,” he said, a worried frown crumpling his forehead.
“Oh, hell.” I winced as a realization struck. “You’re going to go the other way now, aren’t you?”
His head swung back to me. “What other way?”
“You’re going to say it all the time just in case something happens.”
He grinned. “Oh, yeah. I’m going to be nauseating and tell you twenty times a day. Fifty on a weekend.”
I sighed melodramatically, but not-so-secretly loving it. “You’d better get started.”
“I love you, Scarlett.” He leaned in and whispered near my ear, “I love you, Scarlett.” He kissed me and spoke against my lips. “I love you, Scarlett.” He arched back to see my eyes. “Sick of it yet?”
I happy-sighed. “I don’t think I’ll ever be sick of hearing you say that.”
“Me either,” he said and lifted me up to carry me down the hall. “I love you, Scarlett.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned down to kiss him as he walked, sure in the knowledge that Finn would always be a factor in my life. And, no matter where we ended up, I’d always be a factor in his.
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Acknowledgments
Huge thanks and hugs and all good things to Amanda Ashby, Barbara DeLeo, and Sharon Archer for their brainstorming, critiquing, and cheerleader impersonations. You all rock!
About the Author
Rachel Bailey developed a serious book addiction at a young age (via Peter Rabbit and Jemima Puddle-Duck) and has never recovered. Just how she likes it. She went on to gain degrees in psychology and social work, but is now living her dream—writing romance for a living. Her books have hit the USA TODAY bestseller list, are published in over twenty-six countries, and have been translated into more than sixteen languages. She lives on a piece of paradise on Australia’s east coast with her hero and their dog pack, and loves to hear from readers.
www.rachelbailey.com
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