“Yes, he is.” Mary Ellen smiled softly as she took Harrison from Mrs. Parker.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Randall asked as he entered Mary Ellen’s room. Mrs. Parker and Jane quickly exited, giving the married couple some privacy.
“Actually, wonderful. The pain isn’t near as bad as it was, and I may even try dressing in real clothes tomorrow!” She smiled brightly.
Randall sat on the edge of the mattress and watched as his wife held the child he believed was his son.
“I do have a favor to ask you,” Mary Ellen asked shyly.
“Anything.”
Mary Ellen laughed. “Oh, don’t say that so quickly. You have no idea what I intend to ask.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Randall chuckled. “What is it then?”
“I would like to cut my hair.”
“Cut your hair? Whatever for? You have beautiful hair.”
“Yes, but it’s also a tremendous bother. Plus summer is around the corner, and it gets so hot.”
“But you can always wear it up.”
“Lily used to dress my hair,” Mary Ellen said sadly.
Randall let out a deep sigh. “It is your hair. But please, select a feminine bob, if that is possible, and please, don’t take to smoking cigarettes and shortening the hems of your skirts.”
“Don’t worry, Randall. I’ve no desires to become a flapper.”
“Relieved to hear it.” He chuckled then asked, “Mary Ellen, I wonder if you feel up to having a guest this morning?”
“I thought the doctor wanted me to avoid the stairs for a few more days?” When she had arrived home, Randall carried her upstairs, a feat that was not easy for her husband.
“The visitors will come upstairs, and see you here.”
“I don’t know, who is it?”
“While I understand your reluctance in receiving visitors in your bedchamber, I promise you this will be fine. But if you really don’t feel like seeing anyone…”
“No, it’s all right. Anyway, now I’m curious.” She wondered briefly if it was William, but then remembered her husband said visitors, as in more than one person. William had visited her in the hospital, but since she’d returned to Coulson Estate he hadn’t come upstairs to see her or his son.
“All right then, I’ll go get them.”
“Do I look all right?” Mary Ellen asked, realizing she hadn’t looked in a mirror all morning.
“You look lovely, as always.”
Mary Ellen watched her husband leave the room. You look lovely, as always. She remembered how William had told her not to expect much flattery from her husband, as he tended to be a blunt man with little patience for such niceties. He’d definitely changed since his return from Chicago. However, she noticed this gentler side seemed to be reserved for her. After Christmas, they’d had an opportunity to go out socially before the state of her pregnancy became too obvious. She noticed the terse, impatient, somewhat sardonic husband she married was still quite alive and well, and on numerous occasions, she cringed when he’d snapped some undiplomatic response to one of their friends, who seemed to accept Randall’s sharpness.
She couldn’t help but wonder about the more intimate aspects of their marital relationship once she was completely recuperated. While she could no longer have children, from conversations she’d overheard between Lily and Jane, men simply enjoyed having sex and it was a wife’s duty to give her husband physical pleasure.
Looking down at Harrison, Mary Ellen understood she needed to commit herself to the marriage. In the eyes of the law, Harrison belonged to Randall. William had obviously accepted the fact she was Randall’s wife, and would do nothing further to interfere with the couple.
During the past seven months, she’d come to love her husband. It was not the same sort of love she felt for William, but more a sisterly love, like that she once felt for her brother Edward. While the idea of marital intimacy with Randall was not especially appealing, she had to admit he was an attractive man, and perhaps if she tried, she could come to enjoy the act as Aunt Rachael had once told her was possible. If there were some way to persuade her husband to make love to her in a different way—a more personal and caring way—then perhaps she would feel like his real wife, instead of the pretender she had become.
Mary Ellen heard steps coming down the hallway. She looked up to see who was with her husband.
“Papa!” she called out in surprised.
Edward Browning stood in her doorway, hat in hand. Nervously fumbling with its hatband, he stood for a moment before entering the room.
“Mary Ellen,” he greeted then walked closer. Behind him was one of her younger brothers, Charlie. She guessed he must have grown a foot since she’d last seen him. With a broad grin on his face, Charlie came closer. He carried a package wrapped in newsprint.
“Hi, Mary Ellen!” Charlie beamed. “Boy, I sure missed you!” Charlie, who was several years younger than Mary Ellen, raced past his father and planted a kiss on her cheek then looked down at his new nephew.
“Wow, he’s great! I brought a present for him.”
Mary Ellen was speechless. She glanced up and noticed her husband was lingering in the doorway.
“We figured you probably wouldn’t be up to too many visitors, so soon out of the hospital, so it’s just Charlie and me for now,” her father explained.
Mary Ellen looked up at Edward Browning. “It’s been months. You never wrote or called, not once. Not even when Mama died.”
Edward looked to the floor sheepishly.
“Mary Ellen, I am going to leave you three alone, so you can visit. But before I do, I need to tell you something,” Randall told her.
Mary Ellen looked at her husband.
“It’s my fault your father didn’t write or call. I was selfish, and I realize now I was wrong. I wanted a wife to give me sons, but I didn’t want to bother with her family. He simply was honoring the wishes of your husband.”
Mary Ellen said nothing, but watched as Randall nodded to her father and then left the room. She turned and looked at Edward.
“You still could have written, or called. Aunt Rachael did,” she said quietly.
“I suppose it was easier for me this way,” Edward admitted.
“It wasn’t easier for me.”
“Mary Ellen, can you please be mad at me later. I really would love to see my new grandson.”
On cue, Harrison began to squirm in his mother’s arms. Mary Ellen smiled down at her son, then let out a little sigh and lifted the child toward her father. Edward’s grin matched his son’s as he reached out and took the baby in his arms. It was obvious the man was not a stranger to handling newborns. He walked around the room with his grandson in his arms, jiggling the bundle ever so slightly as he talked to the child.
“How’s everyone?” Mary Ellen turned her attention to her brother while her father was focused on the newest addition to the family.
“Good. It’s not the same with you and Mama gone and I’m always having dreams about Ed. Most of the older brothers should be home soon, but I heard Fred and Wally were talking about going to New York and Frank said something about heading for California. The younger ones are growing like weeds.”
“Pa’s new wife isn’t so bad. She was real good to Mama. But I feel a little sorry for her. Pa’s forever slipping and calling her by Mama’s name.” He whispered the last sentence.
Harrison fell asleep in his grandfather’s arms. Gently, Edward laid the baby in the bassinette and covered him with a blanket. Then he went to Mary Ellen and kissed her forehead.
“You did good, Mary Ellen. He’s a handsome one.”
“Thank you, Papa. But he’ll be my only one.”
“I’m sorry about that girl, but glad to see you’re doing good. You had your husband really worried.”
“How do you know?”
“He called me every day you were in the hospital.”
“Really?”
“And
he’s prouder than punch over that boy.”
“I know he wanted more children”
“Sometimes God has different plans for us, girl.”
“I suppose so. How long are you staying?”
“Just a couple days. Mr. Coulson is going to show me around the Philadelphia plant tomorrow morning. Looking forward to that.”
“He is your son-in-law. I think you can call him by his first name.”
“No, it wouldn’t be right. He was my employer first.”
Mary Ellen looked up into her father’s face and realized he was serious. Had Randall really intimidated her father that much? So much that he would hand over his daughter and then agree to relinquish all parental rights?
“When I’m feeling better, do you think it would be all right if Harrison and I come home for a visit? Do you think your new wife would mind?”
“I think that would be nice, girl. And you should meet your new step-mama.”
Mary Ellen didn’t respond immediately. She was silent for a moment before she spoke.
“Papa, I understand you had your own reasons for getting married so soon after Mama’s death. And I sincerely wish you all the happiness in the world. I will be happy to meet your new wife, and I hope she and I can become friends. But please, I’m too old for a step-mother, and frankly, I really don’t want one. I had my own mother, one I loved with all my heart and she’s still with me. So please, I would appreciate it if you not refer to her as my step-mother.”
Edward stared at his daughter. It was in that moment he realized she was not the same girl he sent away less than a year earlier. She’d grown into a woman, one who seemed far more confident and strong willed. In some ways, the manner and tone in which she presented herself reminded him of Randall Coulson.
She is no longer a Browning, Edward thought. Mary Ellen is a Coulson
.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Uncle William is here!” Harrison raced down the staircase, nearly colliding with Jane, who was on her way upstairs with an armful of clean towels.
“Slow down, you young scamp!” Jane called after him as she quickly maneuvered out of his way.
William was just handing the butler his jacket and hat when Harrison came sailing toward him. The excited boy practically leapt into his arms.
“That is some welcome!” William laughed, carrying Harrison in his arms as he walked toward the doorway to the parlor, where Randall and Mary Ellen were standing.
“Did you bring me something for my birthday, Uncle William?”
“Greedy lad, aren’t you?” William laughed then tussled Harrison’s hair. “But it isn’t your birthday until tomorrow, so you’ll just have to wait and see.” He set Harrison on his feet, then gave Mary Ellen a brief hug and kiss on the cheek, before giving Randall a hardy handshake.
As Randall shook William’s hand, he used his free hand to pat William on the shoulder, then tugged him closer and gave him a quick hug.
“Good to have you home, William,” Randall told him.
“How was Chicago?” Mary Ellen asked as the three walked into the parlor. Harrison stayed close to William’s side and listened attentively to the adults.
“Things are going well, but it’s good to be back. I must say Harrison, you’ve grown a foot.”
“I have?” Harrison beamed.
“Yep. But what are you going to do with three feet?”
“Oh Uncle William! You’re silly!” Harrison giggled.
“Brandy?” Randall asked as Harrison took a seat on the small couch.
“I’d love one. Same supplier?”
“No, unfortunately I had to find a new supplier. I believe the other one is currently in jail.” Randall handed William a glass of brandy.
“Pesky prohibition.” William chuckled and took a sip.
“Dear, would you like something?” Randall asked his wife, who was sitting in the wingback chair adjacent to the couch. She wore her hair short and bobbed, which made her blue eyes look even larger. The hem of her skirt had risen significantly since Harrison’s birth.
“Since you insist it’s not illegal to drink—just to sell it—yes. Sherry, please.”
After he handed his wife her drink, he sat on the couch next to William. Growing bored with the adults, Harrison raced from the room to find more interesting entertainment.
“He has grown a foot.”
“Hard to believe he’ll be six tomorrow. You are coming to the party?” Randall asked.
“Of course. It’s an honorary uncle’s duty to attend all birthdays.”
Mary Ellen silently sipped her sherry as the two men began talking business. For the last two years, William had been dividing his time between Chicago and Philadelphia. Harrison adored William, and looked forward to his visits and Mary Ellen didn’t feel William had any inkling the boy was his.
William was still unmarried, yet she didn’t doubt he was seeing someone in Chicago, considering he was handsome, wealthy and charming. She never broached the subject with her husband or William, as she found the possibility too painful. She suspected someday she would be forced to deal with William’s bride, but would rather not think about it now.
She and Randall continued to have a platonic relationship, but as she approached her twenty-fifth birthday, she found her constant state of celibacy unbearable.
“Don’t you agree Mary Ellen?” Randall’s question brought her back to the present.
“I’m sorry, agree about what?”
“I told William he must stay for dinner with us.”
“Certainly.” She smiled at William.
Seeing William again after his four-month absence frustrated Mary Ellen, for she wondered when—and if—these feelings for him would ever go away. Playing the role of sisterly friend to both her husband and the man she loved was driving her over the edge.
During dinner, she ate very little, and drank too much. She’d only been tipsy a few times in her life. After dinner, the three retired to the parlor and Mary Ellen had another drink. By the time William finally said his goodbyes, Harrison was fast asleep upstairs in his room.
With a rigid posture, Mary Ellen held onto the handrail as she made her way up the staircase, taking deliberate steps in an effort to conceal the state of her intoxication. She was successful in her efforts, as Randall did not seem to notice his wife was any more than a little light headed.
Alone in her bedroom, she stood before the full-length mirror and removed her clothes, allowing them to fall to the floor in a forgotten heap. Once she was nude, she stared at her body. Lifting her right hand, she touched her left nipple. Giving it a gentle pinch she watched it pucker and thought of the time William took it into his mouth, making her feel things she never thought imaginable. Will I ever experience that again? she wondered.
Her eyes dropped lower, and she looked at the reflection of her belly in the mirror. Running her fingertips over the scar of her hysterectomy she thought it looked ugly. Is that why my husband doesn’t want me?
“I need to find out,” she said aloud to the empty room.
Boldly she grabbed her satin full-length robe and hastily pulled it on. After fastening the sash belt around her waist, she left her room and walked down the hallway to Randall’s.
Stopping at the closed door, she gave it a firm knock. Instead of waiting for a reply, she opened the door and barged in uninvited. She found her husband standing before his mirror fastening a tie around his neck. He had changed his clothes since dinner and was obviously going out.
“What is it, Mary Ellen?” He glanced her way and looked annoyed at the intrusion, then went back to securing the tie.
“Where are you going?” She stepped closer.
“Out. I thought you went to bed.”
“No. I’m not sleepy.”
“Then read one of your books.”
“Where are you going?”
“I just told you.”
“No, you said out. Where is out?”
H
e turned and faced her.
“What’s gotten into you, Mary Ellen?”
“I just want to know where my husband is going. I don’t think that’s asking too much.” She stepped closer. He was now at arm’s length.
“Why don’t you want me Randall?”
“Go back to your room Mary Ellen. You’ve obviously had too much to drink.”
She stepped closer; they were practically touching. Randall looked down at her.
“I need to know, what’s wrong with me?” Her question was barely a whisper.
Placing his hands on her shoulders, he looked into her tear filled eyes.
“There is nothing wrong with you, it’s me. Now go to your room.”
“Is there another woman?”
Randall closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath before looking back into Mary Ellen’s eyes.
“I haven’t been with another woman since we were together. I give you my solemn word.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Mary Ellen, if I take you again it would be like it was before. Is that what you want?”
Mary Ellen thought of the countless times he’d taken her from behind, never once caressing her body or offering kisses.
“I need you to kiss me,” she whispered.
Silently Randall took his hands from her shoulders, reached down, and picked up her right hand. Slowly he lifted it to his lips and placed a small kiss on the back of her hand as he had done countless times. Their eyes locked and he continued to hold her hand in his.
“I’m sorry, Mary Ellen. That’s all I can offer you. All that I am capable of. I will never divorce you, yet I can’t force you to stay with me. But I will never give up Harrison. Never. I am not heartless, and I understand you need more. The only thing I will demand from you is your discretion.”
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. Silently he grabbed his dinner jacket and made his way to the door. Mary Ellen silently watched him leave the room. She could hear him walking down the hall, and then heard the muffled sounds his shoes made as he made his way down the stairway.
Coulson's Wife (The Coulson Series) Page 13
