by Katy Kaylee
“Stop it.” Maggie finally took a small step back. “You’re not going to—to—charm me or whatever. I’m not changing my mind.”
“And in all this time you never once thought of changing your mind and contacting me, telling me the truth.”
“No.” Maggie raised her chin defiantly. “I haven’t thought about you at all. Just like I’m sure you haven’t thought about me.”
“You’re wrong.” The words were bitten out of me, growled, yanked out of the back of my throat. “I’ve thought about you far too much. I’ve thought about that night like you’re an actual goddamn ghost haunting me.”
Maggie stared at me, her eyes going wide and her face flushing in shock. “You… what?” Then her gaze grew cold and hard again. “Liar.”
“Liar?” Yeah, right, I’d show her… “I’ll show you just how much of a liar I am.”
I grabbed her and hauled her to me, kissing her.
Maggie snarled against my mouth, grabbing onto my shoulders, and for a moment she almost pulled away—but then she hauled me closer to her with a small cry, and I slid my tongue between her parted lips.
Maybe I should have been gentler, gone a bit more slowly, teased her the way that I had that night five years ago. But that night had taken me by surprise. My lust had snuck up on me. Now, I’d had five years to dwell on my desire for Maggie, to dream of her even when I knew that it was wrong, to think of all the things I wanted to do to her.
It was making me nothing less than feral.
The last time we’d done this it had been right on the floor, only ten feet from the front door. I grabbed Maggie with half a mind to take her to the bedroom and do this properly, but my feet stumbled and I only got about halfway there before I thought, fuck it, and I pressed her against the wall instead. I could remember how well she’d liked that last time.
Maggie cried out against my mouth, still wonderfully vocal I could see, and I loved it. I pressed my knee in between her thighs and she parted them, riding my leg like she was seconds from getting off.
I ripped her shirt off and attacked her breasts with my mouth. I hadn’t gotten nearly enough of those last time, and now she’d had a kid and nursed her, her breasts were fuller, even more for me to play with. Maggie was chanting my name, Cal, Cal, Cal as I circled her nipples with my tongue, bit down on them, rubbed them with my thumbs, teased them.
Her hips never stopped restlessly fucking against my leg, and with a cry, she went stiff.
I pulled back, hard as a fucking rock, staring at her. “Did you just…?”
Maggie’s face was red, and not just from pleasure, but from embarrassment. “It’s—it’s been a few years, all right?”
That stunned me. A few years? That implied that she hadn’t—
Before I could complete that thought, Maggie yanked me back into her and began to yank at my clothes. Whatever inhibitions she’d had, she was ignoring them for now, just as determined as I was to see this through and to fuck.
Only this time, she was a lot bolder. The Maggie I’d slept with five years ago let me lead, let me orchestrate things. This one was a little hellion, and she grabbed my cock, pulling it out and swiping her thumb over the head. It throbbed in her grasp and she gave a throaty laugh, stroking me a few times, her grip loose and teasing.
“You’re going to kill me,” I growled.
“Not yet I’m not,” she said, and I just couldn’t let her get away with thinking she had entirely the upper hand after that.
I grabbed her and pushed her further up against the wall, lifting her up off the ground. Maggie immediately sensed my intent and hooked one of her legs around me, letting me hold her up by grabbing the underside of her thigh.
“Are you su—” I started to ask, because I wanted to make sure she was ready, that she wouldn’t hurt herself doing this, but Maggie just growled in frustration. I laughed. “You sound like a darling little kitten.”
“Call me kitten and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”
“Sure thing… baby.”
Maggie didn’t object to that, in fact she shivered, and I remembered how I’d called her baby girl the last time and how she’d responded.
“C’mon,” I whispered, right in her ear as I started to slide into her. “Take all of me, sweetheart, be a good girl for me.”
Maggie cried out, clenching around me, and oh fuck she was as tight and hot as I’d remembered. I waited there, my breath caught in my chest, heat spreading through me like a wildfire, waiting to make sure she was okay.
Maggie slowly lifted her head, her heavy-lidded eyes dark with pleasure. I was sure I’d never seen anything more attractive in my life. “Cal,” she murmured. My name sounded amazing on her lips. “Fuck. Me.”
Hell yes I would.
8
Maggie
Cal fucked me hard and fast the second that I told him to. Or begged him to, really, we both knew I was desperate for it, and I didn’t even try to hide it. He felt so good, sex felt so good after years without but I was sure that even if I’d slept with hundreds of men in the meantime, none of it would’ve felt as good as Cal did right now.
At first I tried to be quiet, feeling a bit embarrassed at how turned on I was, how quickly I was being shoved towards a second climax, but then I remembered how much Cal had liked it when I was loud the first time and I gave up on trying to hold anything back. It was frenzied, rough, so much rougher than before—as if Cal knew now that I’d had sex once, and had a child, that he could afford to be rougher with me.
I loved it.
At last he yanked me away from the wall, right as the pleasure inside of me threatened to spill over. I started to protest, upset that my climax had been snatched from me, but then Cal laid me down on the floor instead.
“I can fuck you better this way,” he growled, a savage, possessive look in his eyes. He was so damn hot in that moment that I felt myself getting even wetter in response, clenching involuntarily around his cock. He was so thick, stretching me wide, and I felt absolutely claimed. I loved it.
Cal didn’t waste a moment, sliding out of me almost completely and then slamming back in, making me scream. He did it again and again, slow at first, taking his time, but then speeding up until we were both completely lost in it. It felt like fire was building behind my eyes, in my blood, and all I could do was writhe at the ecstasy that consumed me.
He was so deep inside of me—deeper than he had been that night, I was sure of it—thrusting so hard and fast I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see anything, stars exploding in my vision. I kept screaming helplessly, wordless cries of pleasure that sometimes bordered on sobbing. It was so good, I felt like I was a star about to go supernova. I clawed at the floor and realized distantly that I was begging—begging for more, more, please, oh God, please, please.
When I came I couldn’t even make a sound, my cry strangled at the back of my throat. I was shaking like an earthquake, and I felt wonderfully used as Cal lost all sense of holding back, fucking into me sharp, fast, out of his mind, grunting with the force of it. He was completely lost, lost in me, and it was as intoxicating now as it had been five years ago.
He came with a possessive growl, as if he was marking me up inside, and I nearly collapsed. The both of us stayed there, panting, sweat sliding down our bodies, and I became aware of how much I ached all over.
God, that had been good. So good. As good as the first time.
…and we all knew what had happened the first time.
Fuck! What was wrong with me!? How could I have let this happen!? I’d planned on just saying my peace and leaving and now look at me, I’d slept with Cal Monroe all over again, like some kind of braindead idiot!
I pulled away, scrambling to my feet. Shit, I needed to—clean up—I ran to the bathroom and grabbed tissues, hastily cleaning myself up, splashing my face with water, trying to make it look less like I’d just gotten fucked within an inch of my life. My legs nearly gave out on me a few times, that was how intens
e the sex had been. I wanted nothing more than to sit down and let the aftershocks of my orgasm work through me, but I had to get out of there. I had to leave before I did something else monumentally idiotic.
Cal was just getting to his feet as I came back into the room, yanking my clothes on. I probably reeked of sex. Shit. Good thing my parents were probably asleep. I could just sneak past them and they’d be none the wiser.
“Hey, hey—” Cal grabbed my arm as I made for the front door, stopping me once again. “We aren’t done talking.”
“You sure?” I snapped. “Because you seemed pretty done with talking when you grabbed me and kissed me.”
I had given into the kissing, sure, but he’d been the one to start it. Curse my weakness for him.
“Things can’t go back to the way they were,” Cal started, but I interrupted him. I couldn’t let him talk too much, obviously, otherwise he would convince me all over again, just like he had with sex.
“That’s exactly what things are going to do,” I replied. “Nothing has changed. You’re still my father’s best friend. You still knew me—we’re still—revealing who Fern’s father really is would destroy your relationship with my family. I can’t do that to my father. And I don’t think it would be fair to do that to you, either. I know that you care about my father just like he cares about you, I don’t want to get in the way of that friendship. And how would destroying that relationship prove that you were a good father? Hmm?”
That last bit was perhaps a bit cruel. I knew that I was being harsh. Part of me wanted to stop it, but I felt like a train going off the rails, without the brake. It felt almost like self-preservation. I had already given into him once this evening. And if I were to give him any leeway… it felt like a slippery slope and I’d be stupidly, hopelessly in love with him again, and imploding my family in the meantime.
Cal opened his mouth, I was pretty sure to say something, but I couldn’t let him speak. I couldn’t. I was on such thin ice already. “I’m sorry. My mind is made up. I’m raising Fern on my own, and this… this between us…” I gestured. “This can never happen again.”
With that, before he could speak, I hurried out the door.
I couldn’t sleep all that night. I tossed and turned fruitlessly for hours until I just gave up and started packing. The sun rose as I furiously folded and stuffed things into my bags. I felt like shit for just bailing on my parents so early, one day after Thanksgiving, especially with Fern. They would hate to have her yanked away from them again so soon, and Fern would miss them. But it was far too dangerous to stick around. I’d only been around Cal a couple of hours and I’d already ended up in bed with him.
I had to get back to Nashville and away from Cal as quickly as possible.
9
Cal
I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened last night. That sex was the most fucking amazing of my life, and that was after five years of pining over the last time we’d fucked. But the conversation… that was probably the worst of my life. Talk about a goddamn rollercoaster.
I regretted what was said, and I hated the way that we left things. I knew that we could work things out if we could talk without Maggie throwing up defensive walls constantly. Not that I didn’t deserve that. I had told her that it was a mistake, the first time, and I’d shut her down. Been condescending. She had every right to be angry with me now and to want to protect her child. And I was willing to tell her that—but I also couldn’t accept what she was offering. We would have to find a way to compromise.
After spending most of the night pacing or tossing and turning in my bed, I headed over to the Simpson house, rehearsing what I would say. I didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings and I didn’t want to regret any more of our conversations. I wanted to find a way to be a part of my child’s life. I wasn’t going to reject Fern. I wanted to be in it, properly.
Maggie didn’t answer the door, which I hadn’t expected anyway. I already had an excuse planned when Mark greeted me. “Should’ve known you’d come over for leftovers,” he said, grinning.
I forced a laugh. “The thought did cross my mind, but really I just wanted to ask Maggie something.” The lie was so rehearsed it slid easily off my tongue. “We talked yesterday about a gallery in Nashville and I wanted to pick her brain a little more.”
Mark’s face fell a little. “I’m sorry, but Maggie’s already left.” He sounded disappointed. “I’d be happy to give you her phone number, as well as a turkey sandwich.”
What the hell? It was only the day after Thanksgiving and she was gone? Anger and sadness seized me in equal measure. Sure, I hadn’t behaved the best those five years ago but she wasn’t even willing to keep herself, or her daughter, anywhere near me?
Looking back over the last five years, it suddenly didn’t seem so confusing or odd that I hadn’t ever seen Maggie. She must have been purposefully avoiding me all of this time, keeping herself, and Fern, away from me. How many things had I missed out on? How many times had I possibly just missed seeing her because she was trying to keep me at arm’s length?
“I’ll take both,” I told Mark, accepting the phone number and a sandwich. It was only polite that we chat for a bit, and I managed to find out that Mark and Violet were surprised to have Maggie leaving so early.
“Crack of dawn, she was up and packing,” Mark said, shaking his head. “Sometimes I don’t know what goes through that girl’s head.”
I knew, but I wasn’t going to tell him. Maggie must have come home from my place and started packing immediately. That hurt. I almost couldn’t blame her, but at the same time, it wasn’t like she was really giving me a chance to explain myself and make things better.
Well, I wasn’t about to let that stop me. I had a daughter and I was going to do right by her. I just needed time to prove that to Maggie.
Maybe… Hmm…
Fact was, I didn’t have to stay in the house I was currently living in. I could do my artwork from just about anywhere. And with a successful gallery opening that had literally just occurred, nobody would be expecting me to put out some new art for a while. It gave me some breathing room.
What if I went to Nashville? What if I moved there and showed Maggie that I was ready to make a commitment, to be a father to Fern?
And maybe… just maybe… I could be something to Maggie as well.
10
Maggie
It was only a week after Thanksgiving, but I was getting a jump on the Christmas shopping. I couldn’t exactly afford to spoil Fern the way that I wanted to but dammit, my baby girl wasn’t going to want for anything. Santa was going to surprise her with plenty of goodies this year.
Of course, I might have tried to grab everything from the car at the same time, and so now I was struggling to hold it all and get the door to my duplex open.
“Maggie, here.” Leo grabbed some of my bags. “Let me help you.”
Leo was my next-door neighbor. He was tall and handsome, and a good guy, and I could tell that he wanted to be more than just friends. He was always giving me these overtures that were just enough that they could become more than just friendly, but never truly crossed the line into flirtation. It was straddling that weird in-between space and honestly I hoped that he would straight-up ask me out so that I could turn him down officially. I was tired of having to be polite and come up with excuses so that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea about us.
Not that I had anything against Leo. He was a wonderful guy. But he just wasn’t for me. I didn’t feel anything with him.
Especially now that I’d had another taste of Cal. Dammit. Could that man stop ruining things for me? Now I was going to be daydreaming about him all over again in the shower and I did not have time for that nonsense. It had taken me long enough to get him out of my head the first time.
Not that he had ever really left, but I liked to pretend that he had. Salvaged some of my dignity that way.
“Presents for Fern?” Leo asked.
“Yup.” I had always put my daughter first, over everything else, and I didn’t regret a thing. Fern was the most important thing in my life.
“That’s sweet.” Leo followed me as I went up to my apartment.
“Thanks for helping.” Leo always seemed to be there when I needed him—if my lawnmower wasn’t working, or I was struggling to carry something. I appreciated it, really, but I hoped that he wasn’t getting any ideas. Despite his best efforts to get me to see him otherwise, I was never going to see him as anything more than a friend.
“Y’know, I tried my hand at baking cookies today,” Leo noted as we got up to my apartment. “I’d love your opinion on my success, and Fern’s of course. I could drop by later with a batch and see what you think?”
“Ah, thank you, but I’ve got a busy day today. I’m behind on a project and I’m going to try and catch up during N-A-P time.” I had to spell it out as I opened the front door so Fern wouldn’t get all indignant about not needing a nap.
Jenn, my best friend and Fern’s frequent babysitter, waved from where she was finger painting with Fern. Leo set the bags down in the kitchen. “I won’t make a peep,” Leo told me, still focused on his mission. “I’ll just stand quietly while you sample my wares. Nobody will wake up unless you chew too loudly.”
“I appreciate the offer, really, but I just don’t think so. Maybe if I have time later tonight.” I opened the front door for him, smiling in thanks.
Leo’s own smile faltered a little, but he nodded and headed back to his apartment. I closed the door behind him with a sigh, feeling tension bleed out of me. I hoped that he would start taking the hint soon. It was only a matter of time until I couldn’t stand it anymore and blurted out that I wanted him to cut it out and give up hope, and I didn’t want to hurt him like that.
