by Mark Albany
“So, when you called me a rogue mage last night, that had nothing to do with whatever powers you think I possess?” I mused. I felt stupid for asking these questions, but I was completely out of my depth. I wanted to believe she was right. Over the years I had come to terms with the fact that I would never be able to master magic, but that had never faded the fact that I wanted it for myself.
“Exactly,” she said as we came to a stop near the waterfall we had both just come from. She circled around in front of me. Despite the beauty of the surroundings, with the sun filtering through the trees to illuminate everything in a wistful and fantastical presence, all I could really see was the woman in front of me.
I smiled as this time I failed to mentally correct myself. Appearance did not make the man, or the woman, in this case. Horns and wings and odd colors didn’t take away from the fact that she was more woman than anyone that I’d ever met. Not in a sexual way, I thought. Well, not only in a sexual way. There was no denying that kind of interest in her.
My thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt as she stepped closer, placing her hands on my cheeks.
“There you go again,” she whispered. “Always lost in a tangle of your own thoughts and feelings. Stay with me, just this once. Stay in the moment.”
I nodded. “I’ll try.”
She smiled, tilting her head as she watched me. “Now close your eyes and let nothing touch your mind. Let no thought cloud it.”
I did as she told me. I wasn’t sure what she meant by letting nothing touch my mind. I’d never been able to keep my mind still. There were more than a few teachers that had used similar wording to try and instruct me, but never had I wanted to try as hard as I did now.
“You’re still doing it,” she whispered, her fingers moving up to gently rub my temples. “Empty your mind. Let it focus on just one thing.”
There was only one thing on my mind right now, but at the moment, that one thing was heavily conflicted. I wanted to reach out and touch her like she was touching me, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
As I reached the peak of my floundering, she leaned in and pressed her lips gently to mine. For a second, all the conflict disappeared. The softness of her lips was distracting enough that I found my mind going blank, as instructed. There was nothing in my thoughts to tear me away other than what was happening in the moment.
There was another sensation as well. It reminded me, in a way, of how Vis had pushed himself into my mind. The same sensation of shared consciousness was there, but without the torturous pain that the man had needed. Or maybe wanted, I was never sure.
And for a moment, I saw what she was talking about. Feeling my mind expand from beyond the limitations of the body that housed it. Reaching out, like an animal breaking from a long confinement in a cage. Unsure, and more than a little uncoordinated, but free and reaching out for more.
The moment passed, however. I felt her mind still with mine, and there was a moment of curiosity as she reached deeper, trying to touch on something that I’d kept hidden for so long. I wanted to let her, but before she could, the horror of what she might see and what she might think of me if she saw it woke something else in me. Something angry and primal.
Before I knew what I was doing, I pushed her away roughly.
“You were so close,” Aliana said softly.
“You had no right to see that,” I replied, taking a few steps away.
“Why not?” she asked.
“What I feel about Vis killing my parents is between me and him. It’s not… I can’t. You don’t understand.”
“Believe me, Grant, I know a thing or two about wanting revenge. I’ve even taken it on occasion.”
“You don’t know anything about me, do you understand that?” I pulled away from her, trying to put some distance between us. She reached out to grab my hand, stopping me, and a sudden and very painful fire rushed through my body. I saw red, and in an instant, all the pain and hatred I’d cultivated for so long about what had happened lashed out. I spun, throwing a wild punch at her face.
It hit nothing but air. I felt her hands roll over my arm, dragging me deeper into the inertia of the punch, which pulled me over her hip to hit the ground on my back. Hard.
A root jutting out of the ground dug deep into my back, knocking the breath out of my body. For a moment, I was confused about why I was suddenly seeing the sky, blue with tufts of white, when I had been facing Aliana only a moment before.
The rage faded and I realized that I’d just tried to punch the one person who was still on my side in all of this. I looked up at Aliana, who was staring down at me, her expression unreadable.
I groaned, pulling away from the root and rubbing the spot where it felt like it had indented my ribs.
“You forgot that I was more than capable of handing out pain and death to six mercenaries without breaking a sweat there, didn’t you?” she asked, an amused look touching her face as I managed to pull myself up to sit against a tree.
I was still finding it hard to breathe, so I just nodded, trying to rub the sore spot in my back and groaning.
“I’m sorry,” she said with a small smile, dropping to a squat next to me.
“Don’t be,” I muttered, still in pain but not wanting to be a baby about it. “I was being unreasonable and stupid.”
“Well, yes,” she agreed with a small smile. “But all things considered, I think you’ve earned yourself some unreasonable and stupid moments.”
I looked over at her, almost amazed that she was willing to throw off being attacked so easily. Then again, I supposed that if I’d ever really posed any real threat to her, she might have felt differently. I still felt ashamed, though, and it only got worse with each second that passed.
“Look,” she said, stroking my cheek with the back of her hand. “If you want to take revenge on someone like Vis, you’re going to have to be better at this. Attacking in anger never ends well. You’ve had some training, I know, but you completely forgot about it in that moment as you prepared to strike. Vis isn’t that powerful, but he is powerful enough to beat you right now. If you let me, I can prepare you for that, train you in both mind and in body.”
I nodded. “Wait, you approve of this?”
“Like I said, I’ve taken my fair share of revenge before,” she said with a small, cheeky smile. “And I can tell you from experience that if you wish to survive the attempt, you have to approach it with reason and caution. As we kissed, I could feel that you reached out and used your talent. It drew back when you did, but it was there. Now that you know you have the talent for it, all you have to do is emulate the state of mind you were in when you did.”
“Arousal?” I asked. That was the state of mind I was in, to be honest.
She chuckled. “Something like that. Who knows? Maybe one day, with practice, I won’t even have to be kissing you to bring results.”
I opened my mouth, trying to figure out what she meant by that, but she quickly rose and offered me her hand. I was feeling better although there was going to be a bruise on my back, so I took her hand and let her pull me to my feet.
Once I was up, she kept hold of my hand and forced me to look her in the eye.
“Whatever feelings you might have about your parents’ death, they won’t be resolved by avenging them,” she said, looking me firmly in the eye as she spoke.
“I thought you said you approved?” I asked.
“It probably can’t hurt,” she said with a shrug. “But the point remains. You’ve learned over the years to wall these kinds of emotions off from yourself, but you need to understand that you’re walled in there with them. So long as you put off that personal resolution, there will always be a part of your potential locked away, too.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but she stopped me, placing a finger on my lips.
“I don’t mean that you should resolve them now,” she whispered, stepping closer. “But you will have to, one day. You may no
t trust me, but know that I want to help you in every way I can.”
I ground my teeth, fighting back the surge I could feel welling from my gut. I remembered what it had felt like to be truly alone in the world when my parents died, and, in order to survive, had put those emotions aside. They were painful and put me in a destructive mood each time, so I’d gotten quite talented at keeping them below the surface.
If there was no need to address them now, then I wouldn’t, I thought, forcing a smile to my lips.
“Fair enough,” I lied. “Now… What was that you said about training me in both mind and body?”
11
I blinked the sweat away from my eyes. It proved of little use as my eyes ended up stinging anyway, but I ignored the pain. More an annoyance, really, but at this point, distractions could prove a good deal more painful. I blinked again.
It made no difference. I ground my teeth, gripping the practice stick in my hand tighter as I darted forward.
Aliana smiled, tracking my movements and taking a few steps backward as I feinted to the right, spinning on my heel and coming back around to the left, my ‘blade’ arcing for her neck. She swayed away from the strike, waiting as it sailed harmlessly past her neck before she aimed a strike at my face with her practice weapon.
I dodged as well, leaning backward to avoid the cut. I moved a few steps backward, around and to her left, aiming a strike at her flank that she wasn’t ready for when my foot caught on an rock. I grunted, tripping and falling hard on my face but not before tapping lightly at her exposed back.
“Well that was embarrassing,” she said with a grin, placing her stick on my neck before I could recover. “Almost as embarrassing as that…what do you call it? Beard?”
I scratched at the stubble that had started to grow over the past two weeks or so. It wasn’t quite a beard, but it would be in another month or so if left untended. I wasn’t overly pleased with it. It looked scruffy and undignified and itched incessantly.
Lacking any tools to shave it, though, I was forced to keep it in place for the moment.
“You’re one to talk about questionable choices,” I said, pushing myself smoothly to my feet in a single motion, keeping my ‘sword’ in hand and pointing it at her hair, “with those ridiculous bangs. And how is it that over the two weeks we’ve spent here, my hair and ‘beard’ have grown unruly, while yours remains the same, laughable though it may be?”
She reached up to stroke her hair in an instinctive motion, opening her mouth in mock offense. “My hair was considered quite fashionable in my time. And it has never grown. One of the benefits of being what I am is never having to worry about that sort of thing.”
“Yes, it was fashionable… what, fifty years ago?” I asked, grinning. “Maybe more?”
“Oh-ho!” she exclaimed, twirling her weapon around. “That’s quite a sharp wit you have there. Have you been honing it instead of your fighting skills?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, moving into a ready stance. “I had you in that last bout.”
“Oh please,” she replied with a laugh. “You sacrificed your footing and balance for a light tap to my back. That can hardly be considered a victory.”
I grinned and would have continued if she didn’t move forward again at a blinding speed. I was almost used to seeing her move like that by this point. Fourteen days of practicing to better my skills with magic and combat. Each day brought new challenges, though as a rule, my mornings were spent trying to get a full grasp on my magical talents while the afternoons were spent learning how to fight. She encouraged me to use my magical talents while fighting as well—I knew she did the same, now—and while I still needed practice, much more had been acquired over these past fourteen days than in my entire time at Vis’ manor.
I ground my teeth. Just thinking of the man was enough to boil my blood, but I forced myself to focus on the task at hand.
Too late, I mused as she slipped underneath my attack and hammered her stick into the back of my knee. A shot of pain went up my leg as I was forced down to one knee before she hammered her fist into my jaw, dropping me to the ground. The blow left me sprawled on my back, rubbing where she’d punched.
“On your back, legs spread… isn’t that supposed to be my place?” she asked, her head tilting slightly sideways as she swept her gaze over me, grinning. She offered her hand to help me back to my feet.
“Shut up,” I grumbled in response, taking her hand, letting her help me back up to my feet.
“Never make fun of my hair again,” she replied.
“Noted,” I said with a cheeky grin, letting her realize that I would never make such a promise, but would only avoid actually doing it until I was confident enough in my skills that she wouldn’t be able to retaliate if I did.
A few more hours passed as we moved on from the practicing sessions to going through different forms of combat, from evasive to power to defensive. I could feel my muscles burning by the end of it, but unlike all those times I’d felt the same way back at Vis’ manor, I felt like I was walking away having learned something of value, something that would help come the next time I was placed in front of a table and told to move an apple with my mind.
I was able to move more than apples now, though it was still difficult to keep a grip on the talent. Aliana said it had more to do with my personality than the actual talent. It was an extension of myself that I’d never really controlled, so anything I was on the inside, was reflected in my power.
Which meant that deep inside, I was an annoying, stubborn, horny creature. Good to know.
As the sun set, Aliana moved away to find us something to eat. I made my way over to the waterfall that we used for fresh water as well as to clean ourselves. I pulled my clothes off and slipped under the falling water. Just water and nothing else to clean oneself with had its difficulties, which meant that we were slowly becoming more and more like forest creatures. Well, me, anyway. Aliana somehow managed to look just as good as she had when we’d first arrived. It was distracting, but she said that my being distracted meant that my mind wasn’t doing its thing of overworking itself, which allowed me to be able to more easily focus on reaching in.
And she had been right. I was learning to control my power even without having her nearby to keep my mind focused, but it was easier with her around. I was even starting to get used to being slightly aroused almost constantly. It was interesting how that effect didn’t fade over time, for some reason.
I washed the sweat from my body and moved back to reclaim my clothes only to find them missing. I knew I’d left them hanging over a rock, picked precisely for the purpose that it was still in the fading sunlight and still warm to the touch. I looked around, raising an eyebrow as I saw tracks leading back to the cave. There was only one person out here, which meant that for some reason known only to her, Aliana had taken my clothes.
She had been acting oddly. She’d told me that she would respect my wishes about not wanting to sleep with someone who was tied to me as she was, but that didn’t keep her from being rather affectionate with her hands and lips, making sure the arousal never really left.
So, sadly, I could in all honesty say that her stealing my clothes as a prank wasn’t really out of character for her.
I made my way back to the cave, not bothering to cover myself on the way there. Who was going to peep on me all the way out here who hadn’t already seen everything there was to see? It was actually rather liberating to live like this. I wasn’t going to pretend I didn’t miss having clean clothes to wear, or a hot bath and a razor-sharp blade to shave with. Aliana had refused to loan me her knives for the task.
As I approached the cave, Aliana stepped out, openly admiring the view.
“Very funny,” I said, crossing my arms over my bare chest. “Stealing my clothes as I clean myself. Hilarious. Now give them back.”
“I’ve given them a wash,” she said with a smile. “And they needed them.”
“I need th
em too,” I pointed out.
“Not for the moment,” she said, coming over to me and taking my arm, tugging me inside with her. I followed her deeper into the cave. Some effort had been put into making it more livable. Soft pine needles had been scrounged up from outside and wrapped to make improvised blankets, and a section of the cave had been marked off for a fire as well as what food and supplies we either had with us or were able to acquire this far out in civilization. I wasn’t sure if I could call it living, as such, but it was certainly a decent way to survive while we were out here training.
But something had changed. I wasn’t sure how she’d done it in such a short time, but most of the back of the cave had been arranged differently. There had always been the sound of water moving, but she had somehow found it, using it to fill a small pool, deep enough for me to submerge myself in, just barely.
“Get in,” she said with a smile. “It’s quite warm.”
“How?” I asked. Neither of us liked chopping wood for a fire. She couldn’t have taken the time to get enough to heat up that much water.
“As much as I want to say that I put a lot of work or magic into it,” Aliana said with a small smile as she nudged me closer to it, “I must admit that the mountain did the work for me.”
“What?” I asked, moving closer. As my feet touched the water, I realized she was right. The water was rather warm.
“The heat from the mountain warms the water beneath it,” she said, nudging me forward until I was thigh deep in the impossibly warm water. I had no idea how a mountain was supposed to warm water, but at the moment, I didn’t really care as I dropped, sinking my body into it with a loud, audible groan.
“Fuck, that’s good,” I sighed as everything from my neck down was submerged in the clear water. For the moment I almost completely forgot there was someone else in the cave with me. That was, until I felt the water shifting ever so slightly, indicating that Aliana was joining me in the pool. I opened my eyes and stared for a moment as I realized she had gotten rid of her clothes too. She knelt next to me, the water rising up to her stomach, almost to her breasts as she settled down next to me.
