Instinct

by Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Arching an arrogant brow, Aeron stared at the bird. "I know this realm better than anyone." He returned his silvery gaze to Nick. "But you have to keep faith in me, Malachai. If you doubt me at all, for even an instant, I will vanish. Those are the laws of me existence. No matter what happens or what you see, you must continue to believe that I'm leading you to your destination. Do you understand?"

  "Got it."

  "Then follow me and ignore everything else." He glared meaningfully at the bird. "Especially the barking dogs who are trying to distract you from your goal."

  "I'm not a dog, puck."

  "I'm not really a puca, bird. I was born the son of the Morrigan and the Dagda."

  Bemused by their banter, Nick did have one thing that concerned him about Aeron. "Before we start, can I ask you something?"

  "Sure."

  "Why are you helping me?"

  He glanced away, but not before Nick caught the bitter sadness in his shimmery gaze. "You freed Xevikan when no Malachai ever has. For that kindness, I be owing you."

  Nick scowled at the absolute last thing he'd ever expected Aeron to say. "How do you know about that?"

  "You are the Malachai. Had you drained him and returned him here to this hell to suffer more for that which he didn't do, he'd have immediately come home to me. And that he didn't."

  Okay, take that earlier statement back. That was the absolute last thing Nick ever expected Aeron to say.

  His eyes widened in complete and utter shock. "Oh."

  Aeron laughed at his gaping expression. "We are brothers and friends, Malachai. Nothing more."

  "Ah ... Gotcha. Whatever you say."

  Looking around at the dark forest, Aeron sighed warily. "Here, family and friend are hard to come by. When you are lucky enough to find one, you hold on with both hands and treasure him or her with everything you are. I hope you will appreciate my brother and give him the regard he's due."

  "I'm trying. But he doesn't always make it easy."

  Aeron laughed. "None of us do, especially when you've been so bloody wounded by everyone around you. Just remember, you owe him your life. Had you not done right by him, I would have left you to them what wanted you today, and let them have their wicked ways with you." He winked at Nick. "No matter what anyone else tells you about Xevikan, he's a good man. A loyal friend. Better than any I know."

  "That's what I sense, too."

  Aeron inclined his head to him. "Listen to your heart, Malachai. It will never fail you. Other senses lie. Especially the tongues of others. But it never does." He turned into a small bluish-white light that hovered at eye level. "Now, follow me and I'll help you."

  Livia curled her lip at Aeron's small, ghostly light form. "He looks like a little fairy."

  Aeron snorted. "I am a little fairy in this form, woman. It's what a puca is. If you're trying to insult me masculinity, you'll have to try a lot harder. I was a Celtic warrior and war god who fought, wrestled, played, and went to war naked with other men, including me brothers and uncles. I'm quite comfortable in me skin and with me life choices, whatever they've been. Excepting the stupidity what led me here. It'll take a lot more than some waspish wisp of a fey shrew calling me names to hurt me feelings, and make me doubt meself."

  Nick laughed. "You remind me a lot of a Dark-Hunter I know named Talon of the Morrigantes. Must be a Dark Age Celt thing."

  Aeron didn't comment on that.

  "This is not the way to the Nemed!" Lerabeth warned as she flew low, next to Nick's shoulder. "Where are you taking us, puca?"

  "The shortest route through the cursed woods."

  She cawed loudly before she spoke again. "It's a trap, Malachai. You cannot trust him! Pucas are all about deception and lies. Their jobs are to take unwary travelers into the woods and strand them there. It's what they do."

  Aeron's light began to dim.

  "I'm not doubting you, Aeron." Nick narrowed his gaze at both women. "I have faith in people to do the right thing. It's what my mother taught me. Until I have a reason to, given to me by Aeron himself, I refuse to listen to the evil spewed against him by others. I will trust his actions and my gut instincts, not the words of others who don't know the truth of what lies in his heart."

  Aeron hesitated. "You are not a typical Malachai."

  "So everyone keeps telling me. Though I'm not sure if it's a compliment or insult the way they say it."

  Aeron laughed lightly as he led them through the dense forest.

  As they walked onward, Nick considered his earlier fight with the stick and stone people, and the Hail Mary play he hadn't had time to implement. Now that he had breathing room, perhaps it was time to do something he should have done a while ago.

  He pulled out his grimoire that was filled with pages where he could consult the spirit that, like Aeron, had been trapped by another's trickery.

  Caleb and Kody had told him that there was no way to free Nashira from the book, but he'd been thinking about that a lot lately, and it seemed to him that if a Malachai had trapped the yokai, a Malachai should be able to free her.

  Just like Nick had done with Xev and Livia. Surely the book was just another type of dimensional prison like this one.

  Right?

  That made sense to him. If there was a way in, there had to be a way out. Yin to yang. That seemed to be the one definite rule of the universe.

  But maybe they were right and he was wrong. There was still so much about being a Malachai he didn't understand. So much about all this that he was absolutely clueless on. Most of the time, he felt like an infant trying to learn to walk.

  Unlike the others who'd come before him, he hadn't been raised by a demon mother or demon surrogate who'd instructed him from birth on his true nature. His burgeoning powers had been bound and hidden. Restricted.

  He'd been weak and sickly, even for a human child.

  Until Ambrose had told him about all this, he'd had no idea of his true birthright. No idea of this hidden world or of any innate preter ability.

  He'd only known it existed for less than two years.

  Two years. That was it. Until he'd been shot by guys he thought were his friends and saved by Kyrian and given a job, he'd had no idea about Dark-Hunters, Daimons, Were-Hunters, or anything else.

  The concept of a Malachai was something he'd never dreamed about in even his most delusional Nintendo-Manga-infested state. It still blew his mind whenever he really thought about it.

  So little time to adjust to it all and yet it seemed like eternity in some ways since the day he'd learned the truth. Like he'd always known it was there, somehow.

  Maybe it was a form of Malachai instinct that had sensed it was there long before the truth had been revealed. The hidden world just below the surface of the human one. Always lurking in the shadows.

  Watching him. Like that creature in the closet that all kids knew was there, yet it vanished whenever a parent opened the door to investigate the darkness.

  Yeah, that dude was real, too.

  And now that he knew who and what he was, the knowing was so dangerous. Not just for him, but for those he loved and couldn't protect.

  Those like his mother, who were still unaware of the truth. It was bad enough for the Kodys and Calebs, who knew. It was so much more for those who had absolutely no clue.

  I have to learn to use and control this power. To master it. Not to use it for harm. To use it to keep his family and friends safe from all the ones who would hurt them to get to him.

  He'd tried to hide the powers so that his enemies couldn't find him and hurt them, and that hadn't worked.

  His only choice was to embrace them. To become what he was born to be.

  The Malachai.

  There were other creatures born of dark powers who didn't succumb to them. Creatures who tapped the darkness for good and stayed anchored on the right side without corruption. Acheron. Xev. Caleb. Dagon ...

  "Aeron?"

  The puck light paused. "Aye, lad?"

&

nbsp; "Do you think you can show me how to control the Malachai within me? You know, like you were trying to tell me, during the fight? All that stuff about using the pain and not the hate? Was that bullcrap or the truth?"

  He laughed lightly before he continued on his path through the woods. "It's not control you need to learn."

  "How do you mean?"

  "The Malachai is never controlled, boyo. He's unleashed."

  His words only confused Nick more. "But isn't that what we're trying to stop?"

  Aeron paused before he took his human form so that he could stand even in height with Nick.

  Eye to eye, he met his gaze levelly. "Are you willing to trust me, Malachai? Really trust me? Not just with your life? But with the life of all you hold dear? To lay in me hands the hearts and souls of everyone who matters to you? Mother, lover, brother, family, and friend? Think before you answer. Because once you walk this path, there's no way back for you. You'll either be saved ... or damned for eternity."

  CHAPTER 14

  "Why do you trust Aeron when you shouldn't?"

  Nick closed his grimoire as Livia came up to him. They were taking a short break to rest and eat before they renewed their journey into the deepest and most dangerous part of the forest. "Why shouldn't I?"

  She scowled at him in disbelief. "You don't know him. At all."

  "I know him as well as I know you."

  Livia snorted disrespectfully. "I'm your Sarru-Ninim."

  Yeah, right. Like that made her better, how? He was supposed to implicitly trust one of the generals whose sole creation was to lead an army of demons to destroy the world.

  Sure. Made sense.

  Never.

  "As chosen by another Malachai. Not me," he gently reminded her.

  And still she scoffed at his arguments. "Aeron was so little trusted by his own family that he was banished here to this realm to live out eternity. Doesn't that give you any kind of qualms?"

  "No. Not really. Why should it?" Nick gestured to the forest around them. "This is where one of my own generals was banished after his family cursed him." He gave her a pointed stare to remind her of how tenuous this argument was. "Do you really want to open that deck, Liv? And have me ask why you were given your position and banished? Trust me. You can't win playing this hand. Think about it."

  She pressed her lips together as she fumed. "I can teach you to use your powers, too, you know?"

  And every fiber of his being warned him against it. He didn't know why, but he didn't trust her.

  Not even a little bit.

  "Liv, this isn't a contest. You're not winning or losing. Relax and breathe."

  She bristled. "It feels like one. You always make me feel like I'm second place and unimportant. With everyone. Whether it's Kody or Caleb or Zavid. And now Aeron. I feel like you like everyone more than me."

  Was she serious? Or insane?

  Or just whiney and annoying?

  Nick couldn't believe she had all the power she did and he had to placate her damaged ego. For real?

  Yet he did. How could she be so needy and insecure? For that matter, how could she be so dense and immature?

  He was the teenager. She was thousands of years old. Surely she didn't need him to stroke her ego. Did she?

  One look at the expression on her face and it was apparent, she did. How weird was that?

  Sighing, Nick shook his head at her. "C'mon, Livia. Some of that can't be helped, and you know it. You are a very attractive woman, and you tend to stand a little too close to me at times."

  "Meaning what?"

  "Meaning I love Kody, and I don't want her to get the wrong idea about us. Nor do I want her feelings hurt. And not that I ever would, but I could sit naked on top of Caleb's lap all day long, and spoon him in bed, and eat from his spork at school while he hand-fed and burped me, and she wouldn't care. You sit next to me while she's across the table, and it's open war."

  "That's not fair."

  "Fair or not, it's how feelings work. I wouldn't care if she sipped on a single straw with Brynna during lunch or licked chocolate sauce from between Brynna's fingertips ... or shared a single shower stall with her and LaShonda after PE class--in fact, I've had that fantasy a few times. But if Kody ever held hands with Caleb or kissed his cheek, I'd go Liu-Kang-Mortal-Kombat all over his giant, hairy ass."

  He narrowed his gaze on her. "As the queen of jealousy, you are well aware of how this works, so don't play all innocent with me like you don't know."

  "She should trust you."

  Yeah, right. "This isn't a matter of trust and you know that. It's a matter of respect. Kody trusts me and I trust her because we respect each other's feelings when we're together and apart, and we don't play those games with each other's emotions. I don't try to make her jealous and she doesn't do that to me. We don't have to. So I'm sorry that you feel like you're second place, but you're not my girlfriend and you're a little handsy with my body's no-zones whenever you're near me, so I do, and will always, maintain three car lengths' distance between us at all times."

  And then she did what she always did whenever she was near him. She walked into his personal space and put her hand on his chest before she trailed her hand lower. "You and I could have a good time together, Nick. If you'd let us."

  He pulled her hand away as it neared the waistband of his jeans. "I don't think of you like that."

  "You could."

  And that was the problem. "Yeah, and I don't want to be that guy. It's just a short jump from that to wearing obscene Mardi Gras beads and hanging out on Bourbon Street and sexually harassing women who'd rather switch teams than look at me. No offense, I don't want to be the poster boy for why women should consider swearing off men altogether, for eternity. I'd rather be a stand-up guy who speaks well for my gender rather than a two-timing mandork."

  She scoffed at him and raked a sneer over his body that would have shriveled the gender of anyone who possessed lesser conviction. "You are a Malachai! Why don't you ever act like one!" She shoved him. Hard.

  Furious at her unwarranted attack, Nick tripped and hit the ground.

  Livia unleashed her wings and took her demon form. Her breathing ragged, she stood over his body, glaring down at him. "You're pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! You have all the power of the universe to take what you want and you never use it! What is wrong with you?"

  In that moment, he fully understood what Aeron had tried to teach him earlier.

  The difference between hatred and pain.

  This was the pain Aeron had talked about. The anguish Nick had felt all his life of being worthless and despised, and of feeling like nothing. That desire not to lash out and hurt others in his hatred, but to prove them wrong whenever they'd judged him for things he couldn't help. To show them that he wasn't poor gutter trash to be thrown away. That he wasn't invisible. That he was a human being with human feelings.

  That he mattered.

  This wasn't hatred in his heart.

  It was bitter shame.

  And it burned like a hungry fire in his gut. Throwing his head back, he let the fury of it roll out of him in a fierce, deep roar. One that echoed through the forest and caused animals to take flight and flee in stark terror.

  His wings shot out as his body instantly transformed to its true Malachai nature. Stronger and deadlier than ever.

  The color faded from Livia's face as she backed away obsequiously. She bowed low before him as she begged and pleaded for his forgiveness.

  From the darkness around them, Aeron came forward with an arch stare. He wasn't afraid of Nick, only cautious. "Are you in control, boyo?"

  Nick looked around the forest with his intense sight that not only saw, but felt the very air around him. For the first time ever, he was himself in his Malachai's body. There was no rage beast wanting to consume and devour everything within reach. No desire to kill or to maim.

  He was human and beast.

  Only more powerful.

  Fully in control. United. A single creature that understood both sides of its furious nature. The brutal and the compassion.

  Stunned to silence, Nick allowed the enormity of the moment to wash over him. Could it be? He held his hand up to see the marbled black and red flesh. The clawed hands.

  Yeah, he was definitely and fully demoned out.

  "Nick?" Aeron tried again. "Can you understand me?"

  "Yeah. I feel normal. But weird. Really, really weird." He sounded even weirder. It was the first time he'd been able to really converse with someone as a demon.

  Laughing, Aeron winked at him. "You found it, eh?"

  Nick nodded slowly. "I think I get it, though. Why you said it could endanger everyone I loved." He shifted back to his human body and brushed his hand through his hair. "Yeah, definitely, don't try this at home, kids. Only with professional drivers, on a closed track."

  A slow, knowing smile spread across Aeron's face. "But try it again? Just to be sure?"

  Nick did.

  And again, it worked. For the first time, he had complete control over his body and his powers. "Have I mastered it?"

  Aeron wasn't so quick to agree. "You're getting there. No doubt. It'll still take more practice."

  He offered Nick a proud smile. "Just remember, your temper will always be the key to unlock those powers, and you'll have to ride herd on that temper for all your days. As the Malachai, hatred will forever be your weakness. Your undoing. That special place where you'll want to go for comfort. But it's the one place you must avoid at all costs, less you want to eat your neighbors and family."

  "Yeah ... no. Think I'll pass."

  "Wise choice, lad."

  Livia straightened and watched him with a peculiar light in her eyes. One Nick wasn't quite sure about. But he didn't have time to worry over that. Let her have her tantrum later. Honestly, he was tired of dealing with her and her theatrics. The more he was around her, the more grateful he was for Kody, who never brought drama to his door--other than the demons who followed her there that she couldn't elude. Yet that wasn't her fault. She always did her best to get rid of them first.

  Right now, he had to save his mom and Caleb. For all he knew, his unknown, mysterious half-brother was nearing the end of his test.

  And Nick had to beat him to it. While he honestly would be glad to hand over the reins of Malachai to someone else, anyone else for that matter, he couldn't allow his mother to stay asleep.

  They had to get the berries to wake her. That was his goal.

  -->