by Noah Harris
“Thank god, I was so worried you’d be mad!” He was saying, still hugging Dylan.
Dylan glanced over his shoulder to his sister, hoping that maybe she knew why Alex was acting so strange. Why would Alex be worried about his opinion or even his approval? Cynthia met his eyes, but she wasn’t smiling or rolling her eyes at Alex’s antics, as he had thought she would. She was looking at him sadly, her lips twisted into a partial frown. Dylan furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head in question. But she just shook her head. Now wasn’t the time. But whatever it was, she knew about it, and she was acting just as strange.
“Why would I be mad?” He said as Alex pulled back. He tried to smile reassuringly, but he always felt his smiles just looked awkward when they were somewhat forced. Only Blake had managed to make him smile so frequently and so naturally that he hadn’t felt it looked strange. “I’m happy for you.”
Alex looked like he was on the verge of tears. He hugged Dylan once again. “Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Okay, okay, enough with the waterworks. Come on, dude, be happy.”
Alex leaned back, wiping a few tears from his eyes. “I am. I’m very happy.”
Dylan glanced at Cynthia, who was watching Alex with a look of pity and sympathy. She glanced at Dylan, and she really looked like she wanted to say something, but he knew she wouldn’t in front of their cousin. He looked back to Alex. “So who is the lucky guy?”
Alex blinked, his smile fading. “You don’t know?”
“Of course, he knows!” Cynthia cut in, chuckling. “Dylan, don’t be mean! Not after all that. That’s a cruel joke.”
Dylan looked at her blankly. “I don’t-” She cut him off by digging her heel into his thigh near his groin. He winced and nearly jumped, catching her foot before it slipped and hit him in a more sensitive area. “Right, a joke, sorry to ruin the moment, Alex.”
Alex looked back and forth between them, his smile gradually returning. He laughed and punched Dylan in the arm. “You had me going there for a moment! Good to see the Navy hasn’t taken away your sense of humor!”
Dylan and Cynthia chuckled, but it sounded strained. Alex didn’t seem to notice. Cynthia pulled her feet off of Dylan’s lap and slipped her shoes back on. “Alex, is your mom still hosting a family dinner soon?”
“Yeah, sometime in the next week. Dylan isn’t the only estranged family member flying into town this week. Cousin Ronney and his fiancé are gonna be here, and so is Aunt Nancy. Rebecca is flying in with her baby, and I heard Uncle Ed was coming.”
“Oh god, Uncle Ed. This’ll be a fun dinner.” Cynthia put a hand on the table and one on her back, standing with a small groan. “Well, we’ll see you around, Alex. Dylan and I need to go find Jared.”
There was no doubt in Dylan’s mind that Cynthia didn’t need them to find Jared. She was merely using an excuse to get out of there so they could talk. His sister had always been great at manipulating the people around her and the situation. Dylan stood, putting one hand on the back of his chair as he walked around it, pausing to face Alex. “See you around.”
Alex smiled, small and genuine. “Yeah, thanks again, Dylan.”
“No problem.” And it really was, because Dylan didn’t understand why Alex thought it would be a problem.
“Alex? You in here?” They heard the door open, and a voice called out through the house.
Dylan froze. He knew that voice. He knew this moment would probably happen eventually. There was no avoiding it. Dylan’s ex-boyfriend, Benjamin, lived here, and he didn’t doubt that Benjamin would always be here. It was part of the reason he left when they broke up. Dylan knew he’d never get away from him if he stayed. He’d always be there, haunting him. Dylan hadn’t seen or heard from Ben since he left. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, what he was supposed to do. He knew this moment would come, but he wasn’t at all prepared for it.
It was during this moment, while Dylan was still recovering from the shock and slight panic of suddenly hearing his ex’s voice that he realized what Ben had actually said. He had called for Alex.
“In here!” Alex called. His entire face and body language seemed to brighten. He was positively beaming as he turned to face the kitchen doorway, practically bouncing on his toes.
It started to sink in, but the progress was slow. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. But it would make sense. The reason why neither his mom nor his sister had told him about Alex’s fiancé. The reason why Alex was worried Dylan would be mad. Everything made sense, and the logical part of Dylan’s brain was telling him this was the answer. This was what he had been missing. But he still didn’t want to believe it.
His eyes slowly slid to Cynthia. Her eyes had gone wide, and her jaw had gone slack. Her lips were parted as she turned to meet Dylan’s gaze. She looked surprised and worried like this was the last possible thing she wanted to happen. It was obvious that she didn’t know how Dylan was going to react. Hell, he didn’t even know how he was going to react. But one thing was for certain, judging from the look of terrified sympathy his sister was giving him: his ex-boyfriend was his cousin’s fiancé.
“Alex?” Ben appeared in the kitchen doorway, and Dylan turned to look at him. He seemed to turn in slow motion, feeling as if the flow of time had stalled. The kitchen continued on forever in his eyes until they finally settled on his ex-boyfriend.
Ben had always been a big alpha. He had been on the football team in high school and had the build to match. Dylan had felt so lucky when he had been the one to catch Ben’s eye. His had white blond hair, cut short and pushed up in the front. He was always smirking with a cocky confidence that always gave the distinct impression that he had the upper hand. He was charming and charismatic, with brilliant blue eyes, a broad chest, and thick arms. He cruised through life on his looks, which, of course, hadn’t bothered Dylan back in high school. Now looking back on it, Dylan could see how thick, selfish, and empty headed Ben could be. That didn’t stop his heart from fluttering at the sight of him, though.
His chest tightened, waiting for the moment when Ben would see him. He didn’t look anything like he did in high school. It was well known that Ben liked the smaller, more feminine omegas. Which, he supposed, made sense as he apparently loved Alex, and his “pretty boy” looks. Still, Dylan couldn’t help but wonder … would Ben still find him attractive? Would he even recognize him? He didn’t know why it mattered, but it did.
But Ben didn’t see him right away. He only had eyes for Alex. “There you are, babe.” He sauntered into the kitchen and wrapped an arm around Alex’s waist, pulling him in for a deep kiss.
Dylan watched, feeling a strange sense of detached horror. He felt like he was watching the scene from far away like he wasn’t really there. Everything felt numb and strange, and he was so far removed from his emotions that he wasn’t sure how he felt. He was still having a hard time processing what he saw and what he heard.
He did, however, feel the way his stomach clenched, and the way a heavy mass sunk deep into the pit of his gut, festering and oozing heat. Babe. That had been what Ben had called him, and now that was the nickname for his cousin. He watched them kiss with a mix of horror and nostalgia. He remembered being on the other end of that kiss. Ben had always been a fantastic kisser. And fantastic in bed, too. At least by Dylan’s virgin high school standards. He wasn’t sure if Ben had managed to improve, but he had the strangest desire to find out.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds, though it felt like time had stood still for an eternity. Alex put his hands on Ben’s chest and pushed him back, breaking their kiss. He was blushing fiercely and had the decency to look embarrassed. He cleared his throat. “We have company, Ben.”
“So?” He said, smirking. He had never been embarrassed by public displays of affection. He turned to see who was in the kitchen, one arm still around Alex’s waist. The moment their eyes met, Ben’s smirk died. Dylan found some satisfaction in that.
“Dylan, good to see you.” Ben said, his lips curling into a small smile. His eyes were half-lidded and smoldering as they stared each other down.
Dylan’s mouth felt suddenly dry. “Ben.”
Until that moment, he didn’t know how he was going to react. Everything had been coming in slow and numb with his sense of shock, but as Ben looked at him with a smoldering smirk that grew more amused by the second, everything seemed to speed up. He was suddenly thrust back into his body, where all his emotions were chaotic and haywire. Had he still been the young Dylan that Ben knew, he would have thrown a fit. He would have shouted and cursed and flipped them off before stomping out of the house. That was no doubt what Ben was waiting for. Something to prove that Dylan hadn’t grown up. Something to tell his friends, ‘so glad I got away from that crazy one.’ He thrived on attention, and Dylan being upset that he was engaged to someone else would no doubt be a huge boost to his ego.
But Dylan had grown up. He had grown up, and he had been trained to reign in those kinds of wayward emotions. He refused to give Ben the satisfaction. He hid behind his soldier mask. He stuffed away all his emotions, locking them away and standing up straight, lifting his chin, and falling into a mental parade rest. He felt a surge of calm wash over him. Calm and control. It was fragile, but it was enough for now.
He turned his head to look at his sister. She was eyeing him curiously with her lips pressed together and her brow furrowed. When they made eye contact, she raised an eyebrow in silent question. It was obvious that she, too, expected him to act childish about the whole thing. “If you don’t mind finding Jared on your own, I’m gonna go get more ice before Aunt Maryam has a heart attack.”
He let go of the chair he had been holding, feeling a little shaky as he let go of his anchor. Still, despite how much his legs felt like jelly, he managed to keep his balance and stride away with dignity and purpose. “See you all later.” He had said before he left the kitchen, leaving them all in surprised silence.
He left the house, feeling a momentary relief in the fresh air. It didn’t last long. Looking around, seeing all the people there who knew that his cousin was marrying his ex, all he could see was their barely controlled pity. He felt stifled, and trapped, and he needed to run. He needed a moment to himself to process this new development, outside of the watchful eyes of the others.
He left the block party as subtly and as quickly as he could, then once he was out of sight, he jogged to his parents’ house. He grabbed their car keys and took one of the family cars. He headed in the opposite direction from the house party, out of the back end of the neighborhood. He drove for roughly an hour without any set course or destination. He didn’t want to think, and he didn’t want to go back. So he drove around his old town, reliving memories and haunting the streets like a ghost.
After that hour, he decided it was probably time for him to return. No matter how much he didn’t want to, he knew he should. If anything to make it look like he wasn’t bothered by the situation. He didn’t leave this town, join the Navy SEALs, and go on dangerous missions monthly for his old pack to think he was weak. He would prove to them that he wasn’t the little boy they all remembered him to be. He wasn’t going to be a pissbaby omega.
He stopped by a gas station on his way home to fill up the car and to pick up a couple of bags of ice. While he went around the corner of the building to get to the ice container, he stopped, one hand on the brick wall. He stared at the sign that read ice, trying to ground himself and his emotions. Everything bubbled up suddenly. All his anger and frustration, at everyone, including his family for not warning him. Most of all, his anger at himself for letting this affect him so much. He had been over Ben for years, and then one look at him, and he starts feeling like a lovesick pup again. These feelings weren’t real. They were nostalgic driven and nothing more.
In a burst of sudden emotion, Dylan turned and punched the brick wall with enough force to crack a few of the bricks. A sharp pain shot up his arm, clearing his senses before it settled into a sharp sting and a dull throb. He looked at his knuckles. Several cuts were starting to ooze blood. He frowned at it but felt better overall for getting that out of his system. He grabbed three bags of ice and headed home.
By the time he returned to the block party, hand bandaged up and ice bags thrown over his shoulder, the food was already being served. His aunt rushed over to him to help him with the ice when she saw him, praising him and calling him a saint. He helped her pour the new ice into the coolers before going to grab some food of his own.
He was careful to avoid Alex and Ben. He didn’t want to face them again. Not unless he could help it. He also avoided his sister and his mom. They were obviously looking for him, but he’d seen them before they saw him, and he ducked into the crowd to disappear. He took his food to where his brother was sitting around one of the several fire pits. He took a seat next to him, and they ate in silence for a while before Ean started asking him if being a soldier was anything like the video games. Dylan laughed and told him no, it wasn’t. Especially not what he did, as a member of a paranormal team dealing with paranormal threats.
After that, they started talking about video games. Dylan didn’t have much time to keep up with most games, but he and his team played some first person shooters in their downtime between missions and their training regimen. Talking with his brother was a lot more relaxing than talking with his sister, especially when they were on a topic that Ean cared about and was interested in. The best part was that his brother never tried to meddle in his life or get him to talk about his feelings. They were both content to leave any sort of subject like that out and focus on other things.
Their conversation had lasted for about an hour before Dylan spotted Cynthia prowling nearby. He slipped out of his chair, squatting low next to Ean’s. “It’s been real, but I gotta run.”
Ean glanced up, following his line of sight and spotting their sister. “Ah, I gotcha, bro. If she comes by I’ll say I haven’t seen you. Come back later, though. We’re making s’mores.”
“Thanks, man.” Dylan patted him on the shoulder as he stood up and hurried away. He ducked into a house. It was the house on the other side of the street from the one he had been in earlier with his sister. Luckily, no one was inside at the moment. He closed the door behind him and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t need to use the bathroom, but he might as well hide out there for a few minutes.
He walked past the kitchen into a back hallway where there was a row of doors. Several of them were cracked, and he could see bedrooms through them. One was closed with a light on, shining through the cracks. He could hear running water and knew it was the bathroom. He leaned against the wall in the hallway with his arms crossed over his chest while he waited. The water shut off, and the door opened. He was prepared to smile awkwardly at whoever it was before slipping past them into the bathroom, but as soon as the door was opened, Dylan froze.
Blake stood in the doorway, staring at Dylan with blank-faced surprise.
“Blake,” Dylan said, he could hear the shock in his voice. If he were being truthful, he had completely forgotten about the man. Despite how often Blake and the ensuin
g emotional turmoil had been on the forefront of his mind, seeing Ben had completely derailed that. He had been so caught up in the nostalgia and the memories of Ben that he had forgotten about Blake. He had left his phone at home, so he hadn’t had the constant buzzing reminders of Blake’s unanswered messages.
“Dylan,” Blake breathed, his face slowly breaking out into a wide grin. His relief and uncensored joy at seeing Dylan were staggering. The reaction was so honest that Dylan found himself choking on guilt. “I hoped you’d be here.”
He stepped forward, closing the distance between them in a couple of long strides, and gathered Dylan into his arms for a back breaking hug. Dylan threw his arms around Blake’s neck, hugging him back and taking comfort from his embrace. It felt so nice. So much better than he remembered. Blake was warm and strong and surrounded him with his scent. Dylan buried his face in Blake’s chest and the curve of his neck, simply breathing in his scent. It teased his senses, bringing back memories of their time together at the Shadow Pack. Blake was breathing in his scent too, and obviously thinking about the same things. They were pressed close together, and Dylan could feel Blake’s arousal pressed against his thigh. It triggered his own.
“What’re you doing here?” Dylan asked. It was a stupid question, and he immediately regretted it, but it was the only thing his tired and shocked mind could think to say.
“My brother is one of the grooms,” Blake said candidly.
