It was as if I was reliving my childhood once again. But my childhood was something that I knew little about. It was as if someone erased it from my memories, and I started to live again at age fifteen when Detective Cole returned me to my parents.
“Have you read enough, and have your questions been answered?” Jumping with fright, I glanced up when I heard that cold voice again and I turned with a jerk to my left. Standing in the doorway was a man in his early twenties. Now I could see him clearly.
His hair dark and his eyes blue with green specks. Suddenly his eyes took on a warmth that hadn’t been there before, but the sadness prevailed in his face. His face spoke of beauty and power and his body spoke of strength. He stood tall, dressed in a black sweater, and black slacks. His shoulders wide, his arms long with large powerful hands.
“It’s you,” I said with relief burning through me. I let out a sigh and breathed through my teeth. “You saved my life.” His mouth barely opened but fell into an unconscious smile. His teeth white and dazzling, but I felt angry and uncertain about what I remembered about him and what I had heard.
“Your brother killed my friend. Why didn’t you come sooner and she would have been alive,” I said pounding on the desk.
“Do you want to know? If I tell you, you will never be able to go back home or be the same person again.”
“Yes, I want to know, and I will be able to go back home. There’s a detective looking for me. He will not rest until I’m found,” I said looking up at the cold voice with the beautiful white teeth. It was the first time I had seen a man as handsome as the one before me. I couldn’t control my feelings for him and it showed in my face. There was a sudden flush of heat causing a blush on my cheeks which gave me away.
“Don’t do that. When your temperature rises, you give off a scent and I can’t control myself.”
“Control yourself from what?”
“I said you don’t want to know and you shouldn’t. It’s too soon.”
“When do you think I should know? When another one of your family members come to kill me. I think it has to do with my kidnapping when I was a child.”
Tilting my head and locking eyes with him, I watched closely at his face when I made that statement. I thought maybe I could read something in his gestures. He showed no expression. All I saw was satisfaction and peace. He just looked at me the way a man looks at a woman when he loves her. But how could that be? I had never laid eyes on him until that night at the bar.
“Your father has a ring where he kidnaps children and then brain washes them or keeps them drugged where they can’t remember anything?” This was like a shot in the dark, hoping to hit something, what I didn’t know. I was probing to get a reaction.
“No. It’s not that,” he said with a furrowed brow.
“Then tell me. Tell me why I’m here.”
He gazed at me with those sparkling pool of bluish eyes and stone face. “You’re here so I can protect you.”
“From what? What the fuck are you trying to protect me from if it isn’t from a kidnapping ring?”
“Now isn’t the time to tell you. And you shouldn’t curse.” His tone flat but with authority.
“Why do I care what you think?” But I did care. “You’re the one breaking the law by keeping me here. The police would protect me from your family.” I knew throwing the police out there was a waste of time because after a few years they gave up on me and considered me dead. That’s why when I showed up with Detective Cole, my family didn’t believe I was Zoey Miller.
My father said that the police had evidence that I had died. I had to take a DNA test to prove who I was. Detective Ryan Cole was the only one who didn’t stop looking for me and he knew who I was when my own mother and father didn’t.
“You need something to eat. You’ve been in a coma for months. I fed you intravenously.”
“How many months?”
“Months.” And he walked to me and pushed the chair around and with one quick move he had me in his arms and carrying me to the room with the bed. I glanced up at him and I felt happy and secure for the second time in my life. The first time was with Detective Cole on our long trip to Seattle.
Because of my separation from my family at a young age, I always felt vulnerable and in danger from everyone. But now I feel that I will be safe as long as the cold voice is around. I glanced up at him as he laid me gently down in the bed.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
He glanced down at me as if he didn’t want to answer. He pulled the sheet up to my chest and said, “You’re going to get sick. I can’t have you sick.”
“Why not?” I shouted. It was my angry voice that no one paid attention to but my cat. Then I remembered there were cats in our apartment depending on us to feed them and to snuggle up with them at night when it was cold.
“What happened to my cat? And Terry’s cats?”
“My name is Sebastian,” he said his voice hoarse but reassuring. “Cats are not like helpless little girls. They don’t need anyone to protect them or feed them.”
“How do you know? Have you ever had a cat? You look like you could put fear into animals. I bet you never had an animal when you were a child,” I shouted with a weak voice which broke each time I uttered two words.
He stopped walking and watched at me a few seconds, and then gave me a small grin, and then he strutted with his long legs out of the room, and closed the door behind him. I lay there upset and wondering why I can’t remember anything before I turned fifteen. Was I raped? No. When the police found me wandering the streets, they took me to a hospital and had me checked out.
What was the purpose of them kidnapping me and leaving me intact unless they had another reason, but I can’t remember that? The ordeal left me frightened and afraid of strangers. At some point I didn’t want to go outside after my mother died.
My father said that the stress of me being kidnapped, took its toll on my mother, and weakened her heart. ‘She cried night and day until that detective brought you home,’ he had said to me.
After time past and my father convinced me that I could have a life, I was able to go on to college. I must have been taught by someone because I had no problem passing tests and my IQ was above average for my age. It wasn’t like I was a child genius, because I wasn’t, that’s why someone had to teach me and I wondered who it was.
Somewhere in-between the wondering and trying to remember my childhood, I fell asleep. Then I woke when I smelled a bowl of soup.
“Eat. You have to get your strength. We have to leave here soon.” I reached for the spoon and a large bowl of chicken soup. After taking several spoonful of noodles and chunks of chicken and eating like a starving man marooned on an island, I took a breather.
“Did you cook this?”
“I warmed it. I don’t cook.”
“So it came out of a can?”
“Yes.”
“Do you expect me to eat canned food and gain my strength to leave here?” I glanced up at him. I slanted my head after shoving a mouthful of noodles in my mouth.
“Did you say we have to leave here soon? I don’t know where here is and why would I leave with you? I have to contact my father so he doesn’t worry about me.”
“You can’t contact him until you are out of danger. If you contact anyone they will find us and kill us.” I sat up in bed. My eyes wide. Chills running through me. The roots of my hair blazing as if I had a fever.
“Kill me. Why does your family want to kill me? I won’t tell anything. I don’t know anything. I was a child.”
“It’s not what you don’t know. And our deaths will be completely different.”
“Death is death. You don’t exist anymore,” I said not knowing what I was saying. What did I know about death? I’m twenty-one and I haven’t had children yet. My life was just starting and now this person is talking about death. He’s maybe twenty-three if a day.
“Death is not death. There are different degree
s of death. Yours will be different than mine. You will no longer feel. You will be cold the way I am.”
“You aren’t cold. You have feelings. I know it. I feel your soul. It’s as if I know you.”
“There is no way for you to know me.” He raised one eyebrow. “Now eat and get well.” I touched his hand and he pulled it away. Immediately he stood and looked down at me. His forehead furrowed as if he didn’t want any part of me. Then why was he taking the time to protect me and make sure I lived.
His hand cold to the touch. Is that what he meant? I meant something different. I meant that he had feelings. He wasn’t cold like a snake or lizard. He pulled his hand from mine as if being next to me would sear his skin. I know I ran hot sometimes more than the normal human, but that was no reason for him to have that reaction to me.
Reading my body language and surprised expression, Sebastian softened. He put his hand on my forehead.
“Your body is too warm. You must have a fever,” he said. “See, you’re getting sick. Don’t get out of bed unless I tell you,” his voice warm, but his tone full of authority. He walked to the door and paused staring at the door waiting for me to reply.
I didn’t want to disappoint him so I said, “My body temperature is always higher. My mother said when I was a child I felt as if I had a constant fever. But that was the way I was. Not everyone is alike. Look at you. You’re pale, and every time you’ve touched me, you feel cold.”
Sebastian listened for a few and he slanted his head to the side, shook his head and walked out after closing the door behind him. I gulped down the food, but I wasn’t going to lie in bed when I needed some answers. I needed answers about him and me and he wasn’t cooperating.
When I glanced outside it was still dark and I could see nothing but trees all around. I heard birds and I knew it wasn’t a dream, or I had died. Since I recognized beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was indeed alive, a sense of relief crept over me, but that knowledge didn’t make me happy, but being around Sebastian did.
Chapter Five- Sebastian
How can I continue with Zoey the way it is? Her life and my life is at stake. I should have told her when I followed her into that bar. But she had never gone to a bar or placed herself in danger before. All she did was stay in the house and go to school. I could watch her at school and at home without her seeing me.
I’d follow her to her evening classes and sit in the back row among hundreds in a lecture hall. She had few friends and no boyfriends she liked. That was relief to me. It made it easy for me because I didn’t trust any man with her because I didn’t want to share her. Not now. Not ever.
When I spotted Detective Cole trailing her, I thought it was him being curious and protective. But I recognized an obsession because I was obsessed with her and in love with her. She was vulnerable and warm and giving. She gave me happiness I never hoped to experience. As the years passed Cole stop trailing her and parking in front of her house at night. I was relieved because I thought he would call attention to Zoey and perhaps that’s how they found her.
When she decided to go out that night with her friend, I wasn’t expecting to see Aare. As usual he put up a good fight, but he was never as strong as I was because he was much younger than I. As I pulled a wooden spike from my jacket ready to thrust it into his heart, he read my face and my intentions to kill him. He decided he would fight another day. He left with blood on his lips and anger and spite in his cold heart for me.
I waited too long to show myself to Zoey. But it’s still too soon to tell her everything. If we are to leave Seattle, then I have to feed tonight. It’s becoming more and more difficult trying to stay away from her. She’s warm and her body is so appealing. I can smell her and taste her blood in my mouth. I need her warmth and yet I don’t dare get close to her.
Her smell is too alluring. I can see her now and feel her. I can’t get away from her, but one day I will have to do just that, because if I fall in love with her, I will have to kill her or change her into a vampire.
I can’t keep reminding myself of how much I desire her. I might be tempted to feed on her and I don’t want to do that. She’s the only one standing between me and my humanity.
Leaving Zoey in the house so I can feed wasn’t a problem before because she was unconscious, but now I’m afraid to leave her for even a short time. I will have to capture a large deer so I can feed and satisfy my thirst for a longer periods of time.
I look up and the large elk is standing in front of me. He has no notion that I am hunting him.
“There he is. I knew I would find him drinking at the river. I’ve been chasing you for months,” I murmured to the stately creature I’m about to kill.
I creep behind him. I could spring up and catch him but I want him to know he’s being hunted. I need to give him a chance to run. To feel as if he’s in control, when in fact, I control the dark universe. I have dominion over life and death.
The elk didn’t hear me coming. Was he concentrating on something else? He raises his head because he senses danger. He can’t smell me because I have no scent that he is familiar with.
This beautiful animal reminds me that I have to keep vigilant. This deer is distracted by his need to mate. He doesn’t realize that his life is coming to an end and in that way he is admired by me. For a moment I hesitate because I’m tired of killing. I watch at him and he relaxes, and my instincts are reinforced by my hunger.
It’s too late now. He lets his guard down, I pounce on him and my fangs drops and breaks through flesh and the blood is flowing in me, and now he’s dead. I killed it with one thrust to his vein and he crumpled to the ground. His heart is still beating, but not for long.
Holding him I feel his fear, I feel his longing for life, and I feel his despair when he releases his last breath.
Crouching on the ground I’m gazing at his lifeless body which strengthens my respect for life. But not my own anymore. That’s over. It’s the life of Zoey that I’m trying to protect.
I placed my teeth on his neck and plunged the points of my fangs into his vein once more. The warmth of his blood flowing in my mouth has a bitter taste. Zoey’s blood is sweet, I thought. The deer’s blood is nourishing, and I take comfort that his blood is keeping me strong. I’ve been reborn from taking a life. I raised my head and blew out a full breath.
One last ounce of his blood should satisfy my thirst and keep me strong for a week. Not as nourishing as taking it from a human, but that’s why I separated from my family, so I could live like a man, and not a cold hearted animal.
Raising my head with blood dripping down my short beard, I murmured, “I’m not like my brothers or my father. I don’t have to feed on humans.” Had I misled myself into thinking I was different from them?
“But you are. Don’t you know that?” I jerked my head around. I recognized the voice. It’s another one of my many brothers, Aare, but the most dangerous one to me. How had he found me? I guess that wasn’t hard. This is the closest place that have wild life.
He stood over me, my knees planted on the ground, blood dripping from my mouth on to my sleeve. I unconsciously wiped my mouth as if I were a human and didn’t have a napkin to catch the bits and pieces of food I may have eaten too hurriedly.
I looked like the animal I had become, the one I didn’t want to be. I’m on the low ground and I’m at a disadvantage. Now I’m like the elk that I had just slaughtered. The very thing I scold the deer for, I fell into. My mind not concentrating, my senses full with the smell of Zoey’s scent, arousing me, distracting me from engaging the dangers surrounding me.
Aare stepped in front of the animal. His eyes lowered. He possessed the greed of a human who could never be satisfied by money, love, or food.
“Let’s not let a meal go to waste,” he said. Then he stooped crouching down in front of me, to the right of the elk’s neck, with his eyes never leaving his focus—me. He’s totally concentrated on my every movement. He opens his mouth. His young fangs protru
ding. When I left my father’s home, he was a teenager like Zoey. He worshipped me and he thought I would be the one to change him. But he was always a destructive boy. Always a destructive child.
All he enjoyed doing was killing things. I made the mistake of taking him to the fair with me and Zoey, and three children went missing that very night. He swore to mother that he didn’t do it, but I knew he had because he loved to take souvenirs. I found dolls and a watch in his bedroom soon after. I knew one day he would either kill Zoey or turn her.
Aare took a bite and raised his head and his cold eyes glared at me.
“How can you stand to eat this?” he said still watching me. Still sizing me up. Still feeding on the animal’s blood.
“I have no taste for human blood any longer,” I said to him expecting a response but none came and even though he detested the blood of animals, his greed was insatiable and he didn’t stop until not a drop of its blood remained. The animal lay, its body only few minutes ago a splendid animal, now, a dried up carcass.
That’s how I envisioned Zoey if Aare ever got his teeth into her. Her blood smelled of youth and so sweet that he would feed until nothing was left of her. I could never allow him to do that to her.
Trying to find the good in him where he wouldn’t pose a threat to Zoey, I tried reasoning with him. “You don’t have to be like you are. With a little self-control, you can be a vampire like me. If you want,” I said eager to convince him of my new found preference, and the freedom from the nightmares of having to live with all the souls I’ve consumed in my hundreds of years of being a vampire.
“But I don’t want to be like you,” he said with a teasing tone.
“Once you did. Don’t you remember?” I asked looking into his face. His expression changed to one of sadness. Perhaps for that second he saw what was possible. His fiery red eyes jolted to me.
“I enjoy the pleasure that warm blood from a human brings me,” he said with an irritated voice. “It makes me strong to know I can take a living human in my hands, with its warmth,” his eyes fell to his hands, “and suck the life from them, and make them cold like me.” He raised his hands as if he was holding the neck of a person and a smile crept across his face. His eyes lit up and his inhumanity was never as overriding as it is now.
The Soul of a Vampire #1 Page 3
