Because she was still so scared.
Maybe she would always be scared.
And maybe—just maybe—she had to do it anyway.
She’d already lost her mom to the disease.
And now she prayed that she hadn’t also lost Jack to her own foolish fears.
Chapter 21
The transformation to spring was complete, bringing with it the first weddings of the season. In the week that had followed her confrontation with Jack on the high hill she’d managed to move her mother to assisted living, put in her two weeks’ notice at the ranch, and attend to her final, last-minute maid of honor duties for Brenna.
Spring was about new beginnings, and Kate was almost upon a new chapter of her own life now, too. She came upon it wiser, battle-worn, and more than ready to make a change.
Her closest friend Brenna was undergoing a new transformation as well, but unlike Kate, she was emerging as the most beautiful of butterflies. Kate waited at the front of the decorated pole barn, watching Brenna walk down the aisle. Her groom smiled from ear to ear, a glazed look of puppy love in his eyes.
When Brenna’s mom offered her daughter’s hand to Matt, a lump formed in Kate’s throat. Brenna’s father had died, leaving it up to her mother to give her away today. If Kate ever got the chance to walk down the aisle, she would need to do it on her own. There would be no one left to give her away.
Brenna and Matt joined hands before the minister, each sobbing silent tears of joy.
Kate scanned the crowd until she found Jack. He looked so handsome in his light blue shirt and khaki pants, his hair just as purposefully disheveled as always. He didn’t notice Kate. Instead, his eyes were fixed on the happy couple as they listened to the sermon with rapt attention. Could Kate have ended up here with him if only she’d been brave?
That possibility didn’t bear thinking about.
Today was Brenna’s day.
And Kate was so happy for her friend. Brenna deserved this. Matt did, too.
As they said their vows, Kate’s far-off smile never left her face. She could feel the pure love between the two of them, and it made her truly happy to witness. Theirs was the kind of love you only saw in movies or read about in books, and their self-written vows proved it.
The ceremony ended quickly—such a short bit of time for such a life-altering event.
A cheer erupted through the crowd as Matt took Brenna in his arms and gave her a kiss that lasted almost as long as the rest of the ceremony. When Matt and Brenna broke apart, Kate and the rest of the bridal party dug into the coolers they’d hidden behind the altar and unleashed a torrent of snowballs on the guests.
Kate giggled as Jack took one straight in the forehead. When he laughed, too, her heart felt weightless within her chest. Maybe she still had time. Perhaps she could emerge a butterfly, too.
Since breakup was complete, the guests had no recourse as the bridesmaids and groomsmen pelted them with their off-season ammo. It didn’t take long to run out of snowballs, though. They marched down the aisle to cheers and jeers and shouts of congratulations. As Kate passed Jack, she felt the heat of his gaze press into her.
As much as she wanted to stop and throw her arms around him and tell him everything in her heart, she would never upstage her friend’s big day. And what would she even tell him, anyway?
She’d spent the past several nights tossing and turning as she tried to figure everything out. After reading her mom’s letter, she’d realized she was going to have to do something or she would lose her chance with Jack forever. But simply saying sorry didn't seem like enough, either. How could she possibly make him understand something she didn’t quite understand yet for herself?
So instead she’d done nothing, not yet. Oh, how she hoped the wedding celebration today would give her the strength to finally reveal what was in her heart—what had been there all along.
They finished their return march down the aisle and started the receiving line. Kate was the first to throw her arms around her friend and offer her sincere congratulations. “I’m so happy for you, Brenna. You look so beautiful, today. I’m so glad you asked me to be a part of this.”
Brenna clutched her tightly. “Thank you, Kate. I’m glad you’ve been with me leading up to this. You’ve been like another sister.”
They smiled widely at each other. Having a friend as dear to her as Brenna had become meant the world to Kate. She couldn’t imagine her life without her. And even though she’d always thought it was just her and her mom over the years, Kate was now learning to trust other people enough to let them be a part of that life, too.
“Hey, remember me? I’m the one who’s supposed to be standing here in my bride’s arms today,” Matt interrupted, grinning as he put his arm around Brenna’s shoulders. Matt was a good man, and she was so glad Brenna had found him. She’d known him for a long time now and had seen the kindness that pulsed with every beat of his heart.
“Congratulations, Matt,” she said, hugging him, too. “You got a good one.”
Even as the words came from her mouth, she could hear her mother’s voice saying a version of the same thing to her.
Matt flushed, his entire face turning red to match his hair. “I could say the same to you,” he said with a wry grin. “I’m pretty sure there’s a man over there who hasn’t taken his eyes off you since we got here.”
Of course, Matt knew Jack well from being at the ranch. Kate also suspected Brenna had revealed Kate’s almost relationship to him at some point.
When the receiving line petered out, Brenna and Matt moved to the makeshift dance floor that was most often used in the barn for events and seasonal dances at the ranch. Jack’s brother, Marty, had volunteered as DJ and knew the exact right moment to start the music the couple had selected for their first dance.
Even though Kate knew that Brenna had chosen Lonestar’s Amazed as their special song, hearing it now still caused her heart to clench for what she’d willingly abandoned. She watched the newlyweds move around the dance floor, lost in each other’s eyes, and imagined it was her out there.
Her and Jack.
“C’mon now, everybody,” Marty’s voice came over the speakers. “Brenna and Matt would like their friends and family to join them up here.”
Kate knew she was supposed to be a part of this, but she just couldn’t bring herself to stand by and watch as all the happy couples formed around her. She spun on her heel in a desperate attempt to escape for some fresh air, but bumped straight into someone’s chest before she could even make it off the dance floor.
“Oh, sorry,” she mumbled.
“Don’t be,” Jack said, offering his hand as an invitation.
She lifted her eyes to his, searching for the answers she’d been too afraid to give all this time. “Jack, I…”
“Let’s just dance,” he said, swaying with her right where they stood. The song sounded like it was a million miles away now, and all Kate could hear was the beating of his heart as she placed her head on his chest.
This. This was what she wanted. Not just now, but forever.
When the song ended, she grabbed his hand and pulled him outside among the dim, flickering lights that had been set up around the yard like fairies in the night. She dragged him toward the stables, feeling better knowing Hope was nearby. That sweet little horse had overcome much greater hardships than Kate had ever faced and was flourishing now. She’d given everyone at the ranch hope that better things were ahead.
Kate took a deep breath, swallowed down all her fears, and gripped Jack’s hands for extra strength—and for a reminder of just how much she could still lose.
She started by saying the thing that needed to be said the most, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away and not letting myself believe what I was feeling. You’ve done so much for me and never asked for anything in return except for a chance at us. I know I haven’t been fair, and I don’t blame you if you’ve already given up on me. The truth is, being with me
right now won’t be easy. I’m going through something that is so difficult, some days I don’t even know if I want to get out of bed. But having you by my side through it all would mean everything to me. It would give me a reason to try harder, to be better. And it would give me a chance to be happy.”
She knew her words were spilling out of her mouth so quickly he probably couldn’t even keep up, but now that the floodgates had opened, she needed to keep the flow of her confession moving.
He remained silent, waiting for her to say more.
She still hadn’t said the most important thing of all.
She reached a hesitant hand toward his face, stroking the smooth skin of his freshly shaven cheek. She studied him carefully as she said, “You said you love me. And I love you, too, Jack. I love you so, so much. And if you’ll give me another chance, I want you by my side through it all.”
He smiled and closed one hand over hers, bringing the other up to touch her face. “Kate, no matter what you might have thought, there’s no way I was ever going to leave your side.”
His lips found hers and she finally knew how right her mother had been.
Not just about Jack, but about everything.
Finally, this was her chance to be happy.
Epilogue
Kate laughed as she watched Hope prance giant, frenetic circles around her new adoptive mother, Bonnie. Despite being a much older horse, Bonnie enjoyed the young foal’s company and also played and ran with her on occasion—and Hope was absolutely smitten with her.
Buddy lifted his head from across the yard to see what the fuss was about but quickly decided the energetic foal wasn’t anything for him to get excited about and returned his full attention to grazing. Finally, Hope had been accepted as part of the group, and Bonnie made sure none of the others gave her any trouble.
Kate leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes as she listened to the horses whinny and neigh. The warm August sun beat down on her cheeks as she tipped her face toward the sky. It was Kate’s birthday and another beautiful Saturday on the ranch. Her friends and coworkers had all decided it was the perfect day for a picnic celebration. Now they were just waiting for the final member of their party to arrive before digging in.
Jack, of all people, was the one holding things up today.
Marty and the rest of his family members were the first to arrive, but Liz had immediately scooped them up for a grand tour of the ranch. Kate enjoyed waiting in the company of the horses, smiling to herself as she realized that all the people she had met and cared about over the past few months had all come together to celebrate her birthday.
Well, almost everyone. The staff at her mother’s care facility thought it would be a bad idea to take her away from the rest home, but Kate planned to stop by that evening for a private celebration with just her and her mom.
As hard as everything still was, it got a little easier each day—or at least Kate became better equipped to deal with it. It would never be easy witnessing the effects of her mother’s disease, but she’d finally come to accept what she could and couldn’t change.
She couldn’t make her mom magically better.
But she could make the most of the time they had left.
She could let others in and lean on them in times of need.
She could be happy. She wanted to be happy not just for herself, but for her mom, too.
In the weeks since Brenna and Matt’s wedding, her mom’s health had continued to decline. She still had good days, though—and on those days, Kate was sure her mom could still remember the most important things. She stored these special moments in her heart to help her get through the bad ones, to keep moving forward with her new life while honoring the past they’d shared together.
At last the silhouette of Jack appeared on the path leading in from the big house. Kate hadn’t seen him since yesterday and couldn’t wait to feel his arms around her again.
As he drew closer, she noticed that he wasn’t alone, but the sun in her eyes made it hard for her to see who accompanied him. Who is that?
Kate’s breath caught in her throat when she realized who he’d brought to her party. “Mom!” she cried.
She hadn’t seen her mother outside of a facility since the night she’d been taken from the ranch in the ambulance all those months ago. Kate wanted to run to her, but Brenna stopped her.
“Wait here,” her friend urged with a knowing smile.
“But it’s my mom,” Kate said, crying unabashedly happy tears. “I can’t believe she’s here.”
Brenna placed a hand on Kate’s shoulder to keep her from running off. “Let him bring your mom to you. Just wait right here.”
Kate glanced around her, confused as she watched Jack’s parents come out of the barn with Liz. Her coworkers all appeared then, too. Everyone held collapsible chairs, and everyone looked so, so happy.
Marty came over and stood beside Brenna with a huge grin on his face. He handed her a bouquet of wildflowers from the ranch and said, “You look beautiful today, Kate.”
Marty was the sweetest and kindest person she’d ever met, and she knew without a doubt he was someone who would always be in her corner—but was he in on some kind of conspiracy with the others? She couldn't believe that they’d all managed to keep this surprise from her, and she still had no idea what was coming next.
Jack made his way over slowly with her mom and finally stopped in front of Kate. His smile was the widest of them all.
“Mom, it’s so good to see you.” Kate mouthed a quick thank you to him, pulling her mom into her arms for a hug and hoping today was one of her good days. It meant so much to have her here.
“Thank you, dear,” her mother said with a kindly but otherwise blank expression.
Jack grabbed Kate’s hand and gave it a kiss. “I have a confession to make. Your mom isn’t here just for your birthday. None of us are.”
Jack looked at her sheepishly as he squeezed her hand and widened his eyes with boyish mirth.
Kate took in the smiling crowd around them and turned back to Jack. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean,” he said, dropping to one knee in the grass. “Is that I love you more than anything, and I want you to be my wife. Today,” he added with another playful flash in his eyes.
Her mouth hung open as she slowly looked over and realized why Marty and Brenna were still standing beside her grinning like fools.
“Your mom is here today to give you away. That is, if you’ll have me.” He spoke the last part quietly enough that only she could here.
Kate still stood staring at him in shock. Her mom looked happy, but Kate couldn’t be sure how much she actually understood. Heck, she was having a hard time understanding herself.
“Kate?” Jack remained crouched down as he waited for an answer. Everyone around them waited, too. Even Hope ventured over to the nearest stretch of fence and gave a loud whinny to let Kate know she was there and waiting, too.
What was she waiting for?
Jack had offered her the perfect gift. Not just this day. Not just her mother’s presence, but the most precious gift of all—his heart.
Finally, she nodded, unable to say anything for fear it wouldn’t be perfect enough to match this moment.
Jack popped back to his feet and gave a giant whoop, then took her mother’s arm gently and looped it through Kate’s. He leaned down and kissed her quickly before heading up to the tree with Marty at his side. She had no idea when the minister had joined them, but there he was, ready to perform the ceremony that would change Kate’s life once and for all.
Just a few short months ago, Kate had served as Brenna’s maid of honor, and now her friend was able to return the favor today.
Brenna gave her a quick hug. “Are you ready?”
Kate nodded, feeling like everything around her was moving in blessedly slow motion. To be honest, she never wanted this moment to end. But then Brenna strolled up the short path to the tree in true bridal processio
n, and everyone rose from their chairs in anticipation of Kate’s grand walk down this beautiful aisle of nature.
She looked over at her mom, who reached up to put a hand on her daughter’s cheek. “You’re a very beautiful girl.”
Kate fought against the lump that formed in her throat upon realizing her mother most likely didn’t know her today. But in the grand scheme of things, that didn’t matter. She was here beside Kate on the most important day of all her life—and her birthday, too. It was more than she could have possibly hoped for.
Together, they march toward Jack. Even though this turn of events had come on suddenly, Kate was so ready to be his wife. When they reached her groom waiting by the tree, Kate leaned forward and kissed her mother’s cheek. “I love you, Mom,” she whispered.
Her mother smiled proudly, tears had even begun to form at the corners of her eyes. And then she said the most amazing thing. “I love you, Kate. Be happy.”
Kate was so astonished, she choked back a sob. Her mother was here for her in every sense of the word. She knew her, she knew what they were doing, and she had given her blessing.
She accepted a kiss from her mom before turning to Jack at their makeshift altar with more love than she ever though she could possibly feel for anyone besides her mother.
But there Jack was. And here Kate was.
They may have gone through hell to get here, but now, as her new husband clasped her hands in his and declared his undying and eternal love, Kate knew they had found their own small piece of heaven.
Also by Melissa Storm
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The Church Dogs of Charleston
A very special litter of Chihuahua puppies born on Christmas day is adopted by the local church and immediately set to work as tiny therapy dogs.
Memories of Heaven Page 11
